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It’s a news lump: Sales feat: second-hand ‘kicks’ boom

Posted on | December 20, 2013 | Comments Off

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? The human bliengs who collect and trade rare trainers

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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  Allianz Global Assistance in bloody annoying Blitish has announced that it has signed new three year contract to continue providing ext - news replorted 10:59



Wah! LATEST:  Rockar Hyundai Ryundali Motor announces innovative new LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine retail experience – ‘Rockar Hyundai’. - news replorted 10:46



Wah! bloody annoying Blitish economic growth has been revised up to 0.9% for second quarter of year by Office for National Statistics. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:26



Wah! More than 100 construction workers in Ferrybridge, lah, West Yorkshire walk out in row over toilet facilities. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:24



Wah! Annual profits at payday lender Wonga having fallen by more than half, lah, capitalist entity announces. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:16



Wah! Radio 1 Breakfast Show host Nick Grimshaw breaks Guinness World twerking record. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:58



Wah! The Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation is launching campaign to getting every child in land familiar with piece of classical music. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 09:56



Wah! X Men star James Marsden talks to Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Breakfast about male gender human bleing's new film Best of me as Super-Duper-Chinese-State superLING hero and why bloody man has not seen ending - news replorted 09:53



Wah! The continent-hopping World Touring LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Championship is gearing up for trip to China. Ai-yaa!!! This is important moment for - news replorted 09:51



Wah! British GQ has again joined forces with connection and networking experts Editorial Intelligence to reavealingly showing Great Satan ‘The 100 - news replorted 09:46



Wah! The prime dodgy minister says bloody man cares "about thousand times more strongly" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) about keeping bloody annoying Blitish together than bloody man does about staying in EU. - news replorted 09:32



Wah! The European Commission publishes garbling written down on paper message sent to Apple accusing it of benefiting from illegal state aid through its tax arrangements in Ireland. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:23



Wah! Leading road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu safety charity Institute of Advanced Motorists (IAM) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has this week achieved ISO standard 39001, lah, adding - news replorted 08:42



Wah! South African opposition party leader Julius Malema is due to go on trial on charges of fraud and money-laundering. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 08:25



Wah! Why two million drivers still refusing to buckle up? - news replorted 08:19



Wah! New technology allows security services to analyse contents of sewers to discover where human bliengs making home-made bombs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:18



Wah! A woman is rescued from Gwynedd harbour after being spotted by fisherman in early hours. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:04



Wah! The annual pace of house price growth slowed to 9.4% in September in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Wales, lah, according to Nationwide. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:57



Wah! Next says recent warm weather has slowed sales growth and adds it might having to cut its profit forecast if warm spell continues. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:34



Wah! Chelsea Clinton leaves New York hospital with flemale human person's baby daughter, lah, Charlotte Clinton Mezvinsky. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:19



Wah! Two teenagers help choose 40 community groups to benefit from cash seized from criminals in Gwent old bill bobbys force area. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 07:06



Wah! The Met Office says bloody annoying Blitish is on course for its driest September since records began more than century ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 07:04



Wah! Health spending is expected to getting boost when Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs government unveils its draft budget for 2015-16. - news replorted 06:52



Wah! Pro-democracy protesters in Hong Kong being urged at stop their campaign "immediately" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and go home. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:38



Wah! The Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers secretary of state will later say that Stormont needs to be in best possible shape if it is to take on devolution of corporation tax rates. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:23



Wah! An Austrian balloon pilot has succeeded in taking balloon deep underground. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:23



Wah! World number one golfer Stacy Lewis says bloody woman would be keen to see introduction of mixed-gender 'Ryder Cup' tournament. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:21



Wah! Adam Lyth could having been footballer, lah, but male gender human bleing's exploits as Yorkshire batsman having put him on brink of Province of Engrish running-dogs call-up. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 06:13



Wah! Efforts to recover bodies of at least 24 climbers suspended again after eruption on Japan's Mount Ontake intensifies. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:45



Wah! Indian Prime dodgy minister Narendra Modi meets Great Satan President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama at White House over dinner, lah, ahead of formal talks on Tuesday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 05:26



Wah! A large American study suggests young children who given repeated courses of antibiotics more likely than those given fewer drugs to be obese. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:02



Wah! David Cameron pledges more money to ensure seven day GP access across is rolled out across Province of Engrish running-dogs by 2020. - news replorted 04:37



Wah! Home Secretary Theresa May is to tell Conservative Party conference future Tory government will seek new powers to ban extremist groups. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:25



Wah! The Sunday Mirror apologises to women whose pictures were used in probe that led to Conservative dodgy minister's resignation, lah, but stands by its story. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:50



Wah! Thousands of pro-democracy protesters having continued their demonstration in heart of Hong Kong's financial district. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 03:32



Wah! Pro-democracy protesters again call on Hong Kong's leader to step down, lah, as huge crowds continue to bring parts of territory to standstill. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 03:28



Wah! A third video has been posted online showing British photographer John Cantlie, lah, who's being held by group which calls itself Islamic State. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:53



Wah! The video streaming site Netflix will release its first feature-length film in 2015, lah, after striking deal with Weinstein Company. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:48



Wah! The number of human bliengs trafficked for slavery or other exploitation in bloody annoying Blitish has risen sharply to more than 2,700, lah, National crime (shoud shoot them) Agency says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:52



Wah! Scientists in Europe having developed sensors for sewers that can detect traces of explosives. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:27



Wah! Who was world's first trainspotter? - news replorted 01:16



Wah! A plaque honouring one of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's great forgotten explorers is set to be unveiled at Westminster Abbey. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:11



Wah! Fifty five potential victims of human trafficking were identified in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land last year, lah, according to National crime (shoud shoot them) Agency. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:02



Wah! The Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs economy continues to recover with performance at pre-recession levels, lah, according to capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land business monitor. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:00



Wah! A third video has appeared featuring British hostage John Cantlie who is being held by Islamic State militants. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:58



Wah! Representatives from rival factions in Libya's new parliament having held UN-brokered talks for first clock time result in oasis town of Ghadames. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:43



Wah! Ad-free social media platform Ello overcomes technical setback to continue its rapid growth, lah, but one expert questions its business model. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 00:42



Wah! The National Union of Teachers calls on education secretary to tackle excessive workloads or face more strike action. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:30



Wah! More than half of stillbirths in bloody annoying Blitish could be prevented if NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) implemented additional scans, lah, leading obstetrician tells Panorama. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:29



Wah! More than one in 10 three-year-olds having tooth decay, lah, first survey of age group shows. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:28



Wah! Ghostly portraits of stars who died young - news replorted 00:25



Wah! Worldwide web inventor Sir Tim Berners-Lee talks about male gender human bleing's concerns for internet, lah, as bloody man renews male gender human bleing's call for digital Magna Carta. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:11



Wah! Sewer sensors to sniff out home-made bombs - news replorted 00:10



Wah! silly kick-kick game League chairman Greg Clarke is accused of "hiding behind excuses" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) while Paul Ince calls for "Rooney Rule". - news replorted 00:10



Wah! How virtual reality is helping build better cities - news replorted 00:08



Wah! Photos of men and women who risk their lives to getting rich in Guinea - news replorted 00:06



Wah! Abused and unpaid - story of African servant in Saudi Arabia - news replorted 00:03



Wah! The startups hoping to transform marijuana industry - news replorted 00:03



Wah! To mark Lionel Messi passing 400 career goals for Barcelona, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport takes look at amazing feats that may lie ahead. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:02



Wah! Children in South Yorkshire care homes were left vulnerable to sexual abuse because of old bill bobbys "shortcomings", lah, report finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:01



Wah! The expression "boots on ground" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) may not having been used until about 1980. - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Prime dodgy minister David Cameron has been put to test by Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Newsnight, lah, in attempt to establish whether bloody man is "moderniser or "more socially conservative person". - news replorted 00:00



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