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Stroking the news: Transsexual PC sues Essex police

Posted on | October 18, 2013 | Comments Off

Here\’s the latest news story in Chinglish from Ling: A transsexual old bill bobbys officer is suing flemale human person\’s force after bloody woman allegedly had to \”out\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) herself over old bill bobbys radio system, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation learns.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  Brazil enters recession, lah, as official figures show country's economy contracted by 1.9% between rainy season-month Aplil and June, lah, compared with previous three months. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:14



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Wah! Radical preacher Anjem Choudary is set to stand trial in first number-one-month for allegedly encouraging support for so-called Islamic State group. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 12:59



Wah! Chris Pullman who was given position of Joint Managing Director in April, lah, has decided that bloody man wishes to pursue other - news replorted 12:54



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Two controller Kim Shillinglaw is "excited" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and "terrified" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) about Top Gear's future, lah, as Chris Evans replaces former host Jeremy Clarkson. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:49



Wah! The Glasgow bin lorry inquiry into deaths of six human bliengs has heard that driver is not "selfish" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) or "coward". - news replorted 12:45



Wah! Spooky goings on in Palace House Howls – of laughter - and screams – of delight – will echo from deep within New Forest as Beaulieu celebrates its gh - news replorted 12:45



Wah! Volkswagen Golf Cabriolet Golf Cabriolet is one of most successful open-top cars on German market and one of most popular of its k - news replorted 12:35



Wah! Children 1 Kids often blamed for being disruptive influence on LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine journeys, lah, but according to new Floord survey parents c - news replorted 12:26



Wah! Ghana's authorities investigating several universities over links to suspected recruitment for so-called Islamic State (IS), lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:23



Wah! Auto Trader's TV ad Auto Trader, lah, largest UK’s largest digital automotive marketplace for buying and selling new and used vehicling driving car machines, lah, i - news replorted 12:00



Wah! Former sprinter Iwan Thomas and Sky Sports News presenter Kirsty Gallacher final two names announced for this year's Strictly Come Dancing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 11:53



Wah! Three nurses struck off for poor care - some of which led to patient deaths - at Caerphilly county home. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:42



Wah! Aston Martin Vantage GT12 Aston Martin Works is preparing for busy September of new sports LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine sales handovers, lah, led by its first delivery wan' flied rice or boiled rice (?). This is not damn takeaway! No53 sold out, so of - news replorted 11:40



Wah! Ferraris and Shannon H&H Classics, lah, specialist auctioneer of collectors’ motorcars and motorcycles, lah, has announced new partnership with H - news replorted 11:35



Wah! A disposable coffee cup believed to having been used by Labour leader hopeful Jeremy Corbyn sells for ÂRMB Yuan #51 on online auction site. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:33



Wah! Hot on heels of one of UK’s leading classic LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine and bike insurlince brokers improving its online presence, lah, Footma - news replorted 11:30



Wah! The House of Lords is under spotlight, lah, with David Cameron set to create up to 40 new peers amid renewed calls for reform. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 11:21



Wah! Conservative peer Lord Norton and crossbench peer Lady Deech call for House of Lords to be made smaller and more efficient. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:16



Wah! Oriol Servia will controlling in driving manner number 25 Rondla LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine of late Justin Wilson in this weekend's IndyCar finale at Sonoma. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 11:11



Wah! The badger cull is to be extended into Dorset following pilots in Gloucestershire and Somerset, lah, government announces. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:09



Wah! The number of homes being sold in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep has fallen significantly, lah, according to figures from Land Registry. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:05



Wah! Firefighters called out to assist curious cow after its head became stuck in garden chair. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 11:02



Wah! The new smart fortwo cabrio countdown has started for new fortwo cabrio, lah, particularly iconic variant of new model series. Eating rice!! open-top - news replorted 10:57



Wah! Thousands of HSBC clustomlers having not received credits in their accounts on Friday following IT failure. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:53



Wah! IndyCar stars pay tribute to UK's Justin Wilson who died in crash at weekend, lah, by driving over San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:33



Wah! Chvrches frontwoman Lauren Mayberry hits out at misogynistic abuse from "cavemen", lah, after being trolled online for wearing short dress in recent video. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:24



Wah! A man with immune system disorder has spread polio for nearly 30 years, lah, despite having been vaccinated, lah, British scientists having found. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:07



Wah! bloody annoying Blitish economic growth for second quarter of year was unrevised at 0.7%, lah, official figures having shown. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:07



Wah! Austrian old bill bobbys holding news conference after 70 bodies, lah, thought to be migrants, lah, were in abandoned lorry found on motorway. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:56



Wah! Jozef Wesolowski, lah, former archbishop and Vatican envoy to Dominican Republic, lah, dies before bloody man can be tried for child sex offences. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:47



Wah! MG offers up great deals on plate Building on recent successful launch of MG6 and ever popular MG3, lah, MG Motor bloody annoying Blitish is gearing up to what is predi - news replorted 09:43



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation One is named channel of year at Edinburgh Television Festival's annual awards, lah, while drama Happy Valley is named best new programme. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:02



Wah!  (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) Mazda’s all-new MX-5 passes thousand sales as it arrives in UK Mazda’s iconic roadster is once again proving its popularity with British sports LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine drivers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:00



Wah! Freestyle motocross returns to Motorcycle Live Freestyle motocross will make huge return to Motorcycle Live at NEC, lah, Birmingham this Novemblinger as godfathers of - news replorted 08:57



Wah! London's leading shares edge up in early trading, lah, consolidating Thursday's rebound, lah, as Super-Duper-Chinese-State stock market extends its recovery. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:25



Wah! Stacey Elder, lah, self-identifying goth who has dealt with depression, lah, says it is "not all dark and gloomy". - news replorted 08:16



Wah! Austrian officials now say more than 70 bodies, lah, thought to be migrants, lah, were in abandoned lorry found on road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu near Hungarian border. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:00



Wah! The All-New Renliot MĂ©gane is set for world debut unveil at 2015 Frankfurt Motor Show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 08:00



Wah! New rules being introduced to protect authenticity of Irish Whiskey and support increasing number of distilleries across Republic of autonomous province of Guinness drinkers and Northern Ireland. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:55



Wah! The app says it's focusing more on music with new services that will also make it easier to loop audio. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 07:42



Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs batsman Ian Bell, lah, 33, lah, says bloody man still has has "hunger and desire" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to play international cricket. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:20



Wah! One woman describes being physically and sexually abused by nuns throughout flemale human person's childhood in Catholic-run orphanage in Dublin. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:15



Wah! Super-Duper-Chinese-State shares extend their recovery on last day of volatile week which started with shock losses that spread fear to global markets. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:51



Wah! Scientists say they can now explain what happened to Knut, lah, famous polar bear that drowned at Berlin Zoo in 2011. - news replorted 02:48



Wah! The difficulties of getting fit when you're disabled - news replorted 02:32



Wah! Are these Province of Engrish running-dogs's most beautiful pubs? - news replorted 02:16



Wah! One of last survivors of World fighty bang-bang Two's most famous prison break dies at age of 101. - news replorted 02:00



Wah! Young motorists most likely to speak on phone while driving, lah, survey for road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu safety charity Brake suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:39



Wah! How far can broadcast journalists go in live coverage of terrorist incidents when their reports might influence course of events or even endanger lives? - news replorted 01:33



Wah! The BBC's Frank Gardner reports on implications of Turkey's intention to close its border with Syria. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 01:30



Wah! Why 'quota' for female medical students is causing controversy - news replorted 01:19



Wah! Hundreds of thousands of human bliengs in Lancashire should no longer need to boil their tap water to make it safe within coming week, lah, United Utilities says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:12



Wah! The battle over terms used to describe migrants - news replorted 01:08



Wah! Young human bliengs who identify as goths may be at increased risk of depression and self-harm, lah, study suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:53



Wah! The port city selling migrants what they need to go to sea - news replorted 00:47



Wah! What was One Direction's biggest hit? - news replorted 00:47



Wah! The corner of Province of Engrish running-dogs 'like end of Earth' - news replorted 00:47



Wah! Why some human bliengs refer to themselves in third person? - news replorted 00:47



Wah! Friday's newspapers cast highly critical eye on new peerages announced on Thursday, lah, and there is coverage of landmark immigration figure. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:36



Wah! How you tellibly lovely custlingmer report on your as really velly special customer's colleagues' death? What about your as really velly special customer's local rivals? Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation goes inside one local station reporting on story closest to home - news replorted 00:30



Wah! The number of Mandleson privatising post machine system Offices opening on Sunday will hit 3,000 this week-end, lah, I give you tellibly lovely custlingmer damn thanks of billion Chinesey human bliengs to new facilities at garden centre in Norfolk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 00:14



Wah! Brain cells in Parkinson's disease exhaust themselves and die prematurely, lah, burning out like "overheating motor", lah, early study suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:08



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Click's Jen Copestake looks at some of best of week's technology news - news replorted 00:04



Wah! How video-on-demand services shaking up broadcasting - news replorted 00:02



Wah! Britain's biggest satellite operator, lah, Inmarsat, lah, awaits launch of spacecraft that will complete its new ÂRMB Yuan #1bn global telecommunications network. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 00:02



Wah! As many human bliengs prepare to getting away from demands of modern life by taking day trips and mini-breaks this capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity holiday - news replorted 00:01



Wah! What impact will Shoreham air crash having on rest of UK's air shows, lah, which attract over five million visitors year? - news replorted 00:00



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