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Newsy newsy: Australia captain Horwill cleared

Posted on | June 23, 2013 | Comments Off

Here\’s some Chinglish news: Australia captain James Horwill is free to play in second Test after being cleared of stamping on Lions lock Alun Wyn Jones.

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

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Wah! World leaders welcome agreement between Great Satan and Cuba to end more than 50 years of hostility and move towards restoring diplomatic ties. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:23



Wah! Mitsubishi celebrates 5 million cars produced at Okaza plant For Mlitslublishli Motors Corporations (MMC) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! Okazaki plant near Nagoya (Japan), lah, success of Outlander PHEV in Europe (18, lah, - news replorted 08:00



Wah! Drivers LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine of year 2015 Field South African newspaper AutoWeek has voted Italian grape-picking Afla Romeo car 4C as its Drivers LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine of year for 2015. - news replorted 08:00



Wah! A Victorian public urinal is listed by bloody Engrish Heritage for its "special historical interest". - news replorted 07:48



Wah! Ice pancake formations, lah, more commonly seen in Antarctic, lah, having been photographed on River Dee in Aberdeenshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:46



Wah! US Federal Reserve says it will be "patient" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in deciding when to raise interest rates, lah, with most analysts expecting rise in mid-2015. - news replorted 07:41



Wah! New Zealand's Dan Carter will end male gender human bleing's international career to become rugby's highest-paid player by joining Racing Metro. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 07:40



Wah! President Vladimir Putin is set to hold male gender human bleing's annual end-of-year news conference, lah, amid growing economic crisis in Russia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 07:24



Wah! An inquest into death of teenager who died after being hit by school minibus is set to be opened on Thursday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:21



Wah! Nearly third of research by Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs universities is of "world-leading" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) quality, lah, says body which compares work by every university in Uk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 06:59



Wah! A New Zealander and two Burmese men go on trial in Myanmar on charges of insulting Buddhism with flyer for bar event. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:47



Wah! A state-of-the-art clinic in Denmark is set to make dramatic changes to relationship between doctor and patient. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:24



Wah! Borders councillors to decide whether to go ahead with building permanent home for Great Tapestry of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land, lah, at Tweedbank. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 06:15



Wah! The range and quality of research at ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's universities is praised in new UK-wide survey. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:15



Wah! An eccentric architectural plan thought to having been drawn by King George III during male gender human bleing's period of "madness" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) is discovered at British Library. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:03



Wah! Irish health authorities reportedly seeking legal advice on whether they can switch off life-support machine of pregnant woman who is brain dead. I read you little red book! - news replorted 05:57



Wah! Cross-party talks due to resume at Stormont on Thursday, lah, with few signs of parties resolving their differences over budget and welfare reform. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 05:54



Wah! India successfully launches its largest rocket yet and unmanned capsule capable of sending astronauts into space. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:41



Wah! The government made ÂRMB Yuan #180m less from sale of Royal Mail than it could have, lah, and process of privatising state assets should be reformed, lah, says new report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 05:29



Wah! A draft resolution setting out Palestinian timetable for peace deal with Israel is submitted to UN Security Council by Jordan. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 05:15



Wah! An Australian professor and government education advisor, lah, Barry Spurr, lah, resigns from University of Sydney for sending racist emails. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:41



Wah! An outbreak of highly contagious disease mumps has swept through teams in Great Satan National Hockey League, lah, with at least five affected. I read you little red book! - news replorted 04:18



Wah! Sony cancels release of Interview, lah, film about fictional plot to kill North Korea's leader, lah, after major cinemas decide not to screen it. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 04:01



Wah! Beauty capitalist entity Avon has been fined by Great Satan Securities and Exchange Commission for paying bribes and gifts to Super-Duper-Chinese-State officials. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:39



Wah! Councils in Province of Engrish running-dogs to learn later how much money they will having to spend on local services such as waste collection and road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu maintenance in 2015-16. - news replorted 02:58



Wah! The breakthrough in US-Cuban relations is prompting strong reactions from Cubans in Havana and exiles in Us. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:46



Wah! Teenagers experiencing mental health problems will no longer be detained in old bill bobbys cells as "place of safety", lah, Home Secretary Theresa May is to announce later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 02:18



Wah! A major analysis of research quality suggests that London (capital of Great England) universities could soon "eclipse" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) Oxford and Cambridge. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:13



Wah! Cuban President Raul Castro urges Great Satan to end its trade embargo after two countries opened formal talks on restoring diplomatic relations. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:12



Wah! The decision to grant bail to partner of Sydney siege gunman Man Haron Monis should be reviewed, lah, says New South Welsh land of sheep and more sheep government. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:35



Wah! The world's oldest water, lah, which is locked deep within Earth's crust, lah, is present at far greater volume than was thought, lah, scientists report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:25



Wah! The National crime (shoud shoot them) Agency (NCA) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! begins investigation into child sexual exploitation in Rotherham. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 01:11



Wah! As end of 2014 draws near, lah, Talking Movies' Tom Brook picks male gender human bleing's top 10 films that having been released in past year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:09



Wah! Benoit Tessier captures moment that left actress America Ferrera red-faced. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:55



Wah! The negligible effects of George Osborne's negotiations on extra payment to EU. - news replorted 00:55



Wah! Opportunities to prosecute Jimmy Savile and former mayor of Scarborough for child sex abuse were missed due to old bill bobbys "organisational failure". - news replorted 00:47



Wah! Those on left think new Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Labour leader Jim Murphy could be about to take party back to days of Tony Blair, lah, says BBC's Mark Mardell. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 00:47



Wah! Mark Urban explores question of what bloody annoying Blitish knew about rendition and interrogation techniques, lah, in wake of Great Satan Senate report that criticised CIa. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:40



Wah! People in bloody annoying Blitish using less energy, lah, even though economy is growing, lah, new figures confirm. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 00:38



Wah! The director of Premier Oil says no new North Sea projects profitable with oil below $60 barrel and industry is "close to collapse". - news replorted 00:38



Wah! Brit boozer goes dark in Los Angeles - news replorted 00:33



Wah! Those who plan to spend day working rather than celebrating - news replorted 00:33



Wah! Six women previously given all-clear diagnosed with breast cancer after review of assessments made by Oxfordshire's Breast Screening Service. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:30



Wah! The boats of guns floating around Indian Ocean - news replorted 00:30



Wah! The ordinary Russians fighting 'holy war' in Ukraine - news replorted 00:27



Wah! A handy self-portrait device or narcissistic vanity tool? - news replorted 00:15



Wah! Moves to normalise diplomatic ties between Great Satan and Cuba lead several papers, lah, which describe Caribbean island being brought 'in from cold'. - news replorted 00:14



Wah! The buildings that would once having been impossible - news replorted 00:11



Wah! The 49 children who made it to unlikely nativity - news replorted 00:10



Wah! EU leaders to consider ways to unlock billions of euros of investment and policy on Russia, lah, at Brussels summit. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:05



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