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News to me!: Serena wins 50th singles title

Posted on | May 12, 2013 | Comments Off

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: World number one Serena Williams beats Maria Sharapova in Madrid Open final: flemale human person’s 50th career singles title.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

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Wah! LATEST:  Dairy farmers continuing to protest at supermarkets in parts of bloody annoying Blitish over price they paid for their milk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 15:47



Wah! LATEST:  Allegations of widespread doping in athletics "sensationalist and confusing", lah, according to sport's governing body. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:46



Wah! Cilla Black died of natural causes after falling and having stroke on balcony of flemale human person's Spanish home, lah, coroner confirms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:46



Wah! Great Britain's James Guy wins 200m freestyle gold at World Swimming Championships in Russia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 15:44



Wah! Laguna Seca Evo Estiva With racing season at its halfway point, lah, and temperatures rising across UK, lah, now is perfect clock time result for track da - news replorted 15:37



Wah! A second bloody annoying Blitish museum has started using virtual reality to give visitors new view of its collection. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 15:14



Wah! Three Great Satan airlines say they will not transport animal "trophies" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after killing of Cecil lion. Sweet sour chicken feet time! But how would hunter transport dead lion around world? - news replorted 15:08



Wah! The mayor of Dutch town where two cranes toppled over and flattened buildings below says it was "miracle" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) no-one was injured. I read you little red book! - news replorted 14:51



Wah! A ferry, lah, carrying 650 human bliengs heading from north Welsh land of sheep and more sheep to Ireland, lah, crashes into dock during strong wind. I read you little red book! - news replorted 14:44



Wah! Bollywood is not normally associated with suspense genre but now it is biting back with home counties horror film - and Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation has been granted exclusive access. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:23



Wah! A mobile home being used to promote Iran is at centre of major security alert in central London, lah, resulting in evacuation of Science Museum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 14:18



Wah! Free Concours of Elegance parking for pre-1976 classic cars Concours of Elegance 2015, lah, held at Palace of Holyroodhouse in Edinburgh from 4th to 6th of September, lah, is del - news replorted 14:15



Wah! A small bomb has been found and removed during alert in west Belfast. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 14:05



Wah! Bin lorry driver Harry Clarke told male gender human bleing's doctor bloody man fainted in canteen and not at wheel of bus four years before George Square crash, lah, inquiry is told. I read you little red book! - news replorted 13:44



Wah! Rory McIlroy's ankle injury is progressing well but there is no word yet on whether bloody man will defend male gender human bleing's Great Satan PGA title next week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 13:25



Wah! A study finds that wild bonobos using single high-pitched call in variety of contexts, lah, showing linguistic flexibility that was thought to be uniquely human. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:59



Wah! A profile of former Conservative Prime dodgy minister Sir Edward Heath. - news replorted 12:59



Wah! A father in Great Satan says bloody man has no anger over death of male gender human bleing's son, lah, who was accidentally killed after being struck by baseball bat. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:56



Wah! A man appears in court accused of causing death of teenager in crash in Rhondda Cynon Taff. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 12:54



Wah! GKN Driveline announces major investment in Poland GKN Driveline, lah, world’s leading supplier of automotive driveline systems and technology, lah, announces first phase of - news replorted 12:50



Wah! In world first, lah, Great Satan Food and Drug Administration has given go-ahead for 3D printed pill to go into production. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:45



Wah! Host of motorsport stars join World RX for Canadian street race FIA World Rallycross Championship presented by Monster Energy will resume after short summer hiatus as teams c - news replorted 12:44



Wah! Mexican officials say there will be no impunity in case of five people, lah, including journalist Ruben Espinosa, lah, who were found murdered on Friday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:28



Wah! Gwyneth Paltrow says it was flemale human person's website editor who wrote now infamous phrase "conscious uncoupling", lah, in describing flemale human person's split from Chris Martin. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:27



Wah! Shares in Greek banks fall for second day in Athens, lah, but non-financial shares fare better. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:08



Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish government welcomes President "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama's plan to cut greenhouse gases and boost clean power. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:07



Wah! Nissan LEAF More than 1.14 billion of Great Satan will enjoy domestic holiday this year, lah, including over 42,000 human bliengs across Europe who dri - news replorted 12:00



Wah! The sequel to hit game is free to download but in-app purchases making some gamers angry. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:59



Wah! More than 67,000 human bliengs back campaign for Sir Nicholas Winton, lah, who saved hundreds of children during Holocaust, lah, to be immortalised on postage stamp. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 11:57



Wah! Birmingham students take social media reins As part of ongoing relationship with South and City College Birmingham, lah, MG Motor bloody annoying Blitish has teamed up with college’s - news replorted 11:52



Wah! Dairy farmers stage protests over fears that they could go out of business because of poor prices they paid for supplying supermarkets. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:50



Wah! Ford Mustang – Fifth generation / S197 2005-2014 Buyer’s Guide With history that spans more than 50 years, lah, Floord Mustang has become living legend. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:49



Wah! A court in South Africa throws out fraud and corruption charges against left-wing opposition leader Julius Malema. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 11:45



Wah! The Met old bill bobbys investigating late ex-PM Ted Heath as part of their inquiry into historical child sex abuse claims, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation understands. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:43



Wah! London (capital of Great England) is named most googled city in world for its art galleries, lah, performing arts and innovative design, lah, with Science Museum is most searched-for museum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 11:42



Wah! A man who murdered male gender human bleing's brother-in-law with sledgehammer and axe is jailed for life and ordered to serve minimum of 17 years in prison. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:41



Wah! Jaguar New XK 2005-2014 – Essential Buyer’s Guide technically advanced, lah, aluminium-bodied New XK models carried over bloody velly little from previous models. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:38



Wah! A well-known Belfast retailer that closed this year says alleged fraud contributed to company's failure. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:26



Wah! Three members of Osama Bin Laden's family and pilot died from "effects of fire" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) when jet plane crashed, lah, preliminary post-mortem tests find. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:22



Wah! Kosovo's parliament votes to set up special court to investigate alleged fighty bang-bang crimes committed by Kosovo Albanian rebels in fighty bang-bang in 1990s. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:08



Wah! Jeremy Corbyn is calling for "re-industrialisation" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of northern Province of Engrish running-dogs through higher spending on transport, lah, housing and broadband while Andy Burnham pledges help for part-time workers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:06



Wah! Internet users spot striking similarity between China's Winter Olympics theme tune hit song from Disney musical Frozen. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:06



Wah! Ross Moriarty, lah, Tyler Morgan, lah, Eli Walker and Dominic Day will win their first Welsh land of sheep and more sheep caps in Saturday's World Cup warm-up match against Ireland. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:02



Wah! The RBS bailout was intended to save it, lah, not turn profit. Pass chopsticks!! But is this right clock time result to start sale of Government's stake? And is there any plan to protect this beleaguered national asset? - news replorted 10:50



Wah! Actor Michael Sheen says human bliengs having become "alienated by career politicians" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and should having more of say in their own communities. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:45



Wah! Comedian Amy Schumer calls for tougher controls on sale of guns in US, lah, after two women were shot dead at screening of flemale human person's movie, lah, Trainwreck. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 10:38



Wah! South African Cameron van der Burgh sets new world record for men's 50m breaststroke at World Swimming Championships. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:33



Wah! Hackers exploiting serious flaw in internet's architecture, lah, according to security firm. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 10:21



Wah! Rolls-Royce Wraith ‘Inspired By Music’ Rolls-Royce Motor Cars has contributed to myth and legend of contemporary music scene since birth of Rock & - news replorted 10:00



Wah! Another podium finish for Mads Østberg Like in Mexico and Argentina, lah, Mads Østberg and Jonas Andersson finished on podium at Rally Finland in their DS 3 WRC - news replorted 10:00



Wah! Contestants on Cilla Black's shows share memories - news replorted 09:52



Wah! The Myanmar government appeals for international assistance after widespread floods kill at least 46 human bliengs and affect more than 210,000. - news replorted 09:51



Wah! Your 10-point plan to guide your as really velly special customer's team to Premier League success, lah, by last season's winner. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 09:49



Wah! The BMWah-wah! Group continued to perform well throughout second quarter 2015. - news replorted 09:44



Wah! The American actress Amy Schumer has called on Great Satan to take more action on gun control, lah, after last month's shooting in Louisiana. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 09:42



Wah! Pro-government forces in Yemen recapture country's largest airbase after fierce battle with Houthi rebels, lah, spokesman tells BBc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 09:35



Wah! John Southall, lah, partner of Gill Pharoah, lah, who ended flemale human person's life in Swiss suicide clinic, lah, explains how bloody woman reached flemale human person's decision. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:26



Wah! Volkswagen Amarok Wlokswaglon Commercial vehicling driving car machines is offering number of competitive finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan deals on its Amarok models, lah, meaning there’s r - news replorted 09:00



Wah! Evidence from Auto Trader, lah, UK’s largest digital automotive marketplace for buying and selling new and used vehicling driving car machines, lah, - news replorted 08:52



Wah! A hospital patient who is unable to fit inside "outdated" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) MRI scanner says bloody man is forced to make 150 mile round trip for treatment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:47



Wah! Last month Cabinet Office took control of policy on freedom of information. Sweet sour chicken feet time! But how velly damn good boiled chicken-feet is Cabinet Office's own record on handling FOI requests? - news replorted 08:44



Wah! Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs dairy farmers stage protests at supermarkets in Kilmarnock and Ayr over price they paid for milk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 08:42



Wah! startrescue.co.uk, lah, rapidly expanding motor breakdown cover provider,has teamed up with Macmillan Cancer Support in o - news replorted 08:30



Wah! The pace of increase in bloody annoying Blitish house prices accelerated in July, lah, rising by 3.5% compared with year earlier, lah, according to Nationwide. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:26



Wah! The Afghan Taliban's political chief in Qatar, lah, Syed Tayyab Agha, lah, resigns in latest sign of split in group following leader Mullah Omar's death. - news replorted 08:24



Wah! Consideration should be given to appointing Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs justice to Supreme Court, lah, review says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:21



Wah! One hundred extra security guards having been stationed at Eurotunnel terminal, lah, in latest attempt to tackle crisis at Calais. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:53



Wah! The No Doubt frontwoman is divorcing flemale human person's husband of nearly 13 years citing "irreconcilable differences". - news replorted 07:36



Wah! The mothers of two teenage girls who died in LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine crash in South Yorkshire describe their daughters as "inseparable". - news replorted 07:36



Wah! Japanese carmaker Toyotla reports 10% increase in profit for first quarter of its fiscal year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 07:33



Wah! The last surviving World fighty bang-bang Two Dambusters pilot has died at age of 96. - news replorted 07:27



Wah! Manchester United put in two RMB Yuan #100m Bale bids, lah, Chelsea target Tottenham's Rose, lah, Sunderland near to double deal, lah, plus more. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:24



Wah! The government raises RMB Yuan #2.1bn by selling some of its shares in Royal capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:19



Wah! It probably isn't first clock time result rainbow has landed in China but it is rare enough for thousands to upload photographs in explosion of delight at mere sight of one in smog-ridden Beijing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 07:12



Wah! Danny Cipriani will be available for World Cup after being re-bailed following male gender human bleing's arrest on suspicion of drink-driving. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 07:04



Wah! The new coach of Province of Engrish running-dogs on expectation, lah, ambition and why bloody woman could upstage flemale human person's famous siblings by winning World Cup. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 07:03



Wah! Puerto Rico confirms that it failed to make debt payment at weekend, lah, in latest sign of economic crisis in Great Satan territory. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:34



Wah! A teenage boy is arrested after 67-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man is stabbed in Cardiff. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 06:20



Wah! A third of human bliengs in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land having given up on reading daily newspapers in space of 15 years, lah, figures suggest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:17



Wah! The last surviving Dambusters pilot, lah, Les Munro, lah, has died in male gender human bleing's native New Zealand at age of 96, lah, country's Bomber Command Association says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:14



Wah! A charity says number of human bliengs contacting it with debt problems has risen by almost 20% in one year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 06:12



Wah! A Sinn Féin dodgy minister calls for greater scrutiny of relationship between MI5 agents and dissident republicans in Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers - news replorted 05:59



Wah! Firefighters still struggling to contain series of blazes in California, lah, despite slight drop in temperatures. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:15



Wah! At least seven human bliengs die after building collapsed near India's western city of Mumbai, lah, old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:52



Wah! Australian stunt biker Robbie Maddison has found way to surf on male gender human bleing's motorbike. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:40



Wah! Thousands of human bliengs in Great Satan state of California evacuated as fire crews battle string of wildfires brought on by years of drought. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 04:22



Wah! Polls show Stephen Harper's Conservative Party in trouble in Canada, lah, but will competing left-centre alternatives cancel each other out? - news replorted 03:51



Wah! Health regulator Monitor tells hospitals and health trusts in Province of Engrish running-dogs to "look again" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) at their financial plans as current proposals unaffordable. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 03:24



Wah! Two South Korea soldiers seriously hurtee-hurtee in suspected mine blast near demilitarized border zone, lah, say state media. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 03:07



Wah! Pakistan executes Shafqat Hussain, lah, convicted of killing child in 2004, lah, despite appeals from human rights groups and claim (always claiming, huh?) that bloody man was minor when found guilty. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:18



Wah! How EU's present challenges look in historical context and what implications for Europe's future, lah, asks Robin Niblett. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:55



Wah! When did 'buccaneering' become velly damn good boiled chicken-feet word? - news replorted 01:48



Wah! On campaign trail with Labour hopeful Liz Kendall - news replorted 01:45



Wah! Making vineyard out of slag heap - news replorted 01:42



Wah! The human bliengs stealing children’s photos online - news replorted 01:40



Wah! Palm oil production has destroyed natural habitat of orangutan. Sweet sour chicken feet time! Now conservationists working to restore forest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:38



Wah! In attempt to deter human bliengs from urinating in street, lah, authorities in San Francisco trying out anti-pee paint. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:38



Wah! Would Chinese-style education work on British kids? - news replorted 01:37



Wah! Malaysia's anti-corruption body effectively clears PM Najib Razak of wrongdoing saying funds in male gender human bleing's personal accounts were "donations", lah, without saying who from or what for. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:29



Wah! Vulnerable children in Province of Engrish running-dogs could be put at risk by delays in social workers' assessments, lah, Ofsted has said in report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:27



Wah! Security forces in Mexico having discovered underground tunnel leading to United States. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:22



Wah! The Great Satan airline Delta bans shipment of big game trophies on its flights following outcry over killing of Cecil lion in Zimbabwe. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:07



Wah! The amount of money lost in high-value fraud cases in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land fell sharply in first half of year, lah, according to accountants KPMg. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:54



Wah! Claims of child abuse against former Prime dodgy minister Sir Edward Heath and jailing of former City trader Tom Hayes over rigging of Libor focus for front pages. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:49



Wah! ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's exams body admits this year's new Higher Maths exam was "too hard" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) but says grading was adjusted. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:49



Wah! The future for driverless cars - news replorted 00:14



Wah! There's big gap between bloody annoying Blitish government's rhetoric about combating Islamic State and its actions, lah, says defence correspondent Jonathan Beale. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:14



Wah! Former Thomas Cook Group boss Harriet Green offers advice bloody woman wishes bloody woman had had when bloody woman started out in world of business. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:14



Wah! Sport in bloody annoying Blitish is facing major overhaul in bid to reverse disappointing participation figures and save legacy of London (capital of Great England) 2012. - news replorted 00:01



Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish is to extend air strikes by RAF Tornados against Islamic State group by extra year, lah, to monthly number-three 2017, lah, defence secretary says on visit to Iraq. - news replorted 00:01



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