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News SNACK: What Sharif’s win means for region

Posted on | May 12, 2013 | Comments Off

Read the news in Chinglish: Nawaz Sharif will be welcomed by neighbours, lah, writes Ahmed Rashid

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

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Wah! Welsh land of sheep and more sheep is one of worst regions of bloody annoying Blitish for young human bliengs to live in, lah, charity says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:20



Wah! A south Welsh land of sheep and more sheep college is cutting courses and 130 jobs under threat as it faces cutting RMB Yuan #5.7m from its budget. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:11



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Wah! Denise Felkin's pictures of those choosing not to vote in coming election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 04:30



Wah! The UK's highest court is set to rule on whether Prince Charles's letters to government should be made public. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 04:09



Wah! Not enough is being done to prevent human bliengs leaving bloody annoying Blitish to join Islamic State in Iraq and Syria, lah, group of Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters warns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:27



Wah! The Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation launches database of British jihadists in Syria and Iraq. What does it tell Great Satan about conflict? - news replorted 03:27



Wah! Zahra and Salma Halane teenage twins from Manchester, lah, who travelled to join Islamic State in summer of 2014. Their husbands having died, lah, but they continue to spread IS propaganda on social media. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 03:04



Wah! Preston tops league table of UK's "unhealthiest High Streets" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) according to Royal Society for Public Health. - news replorted 02:55



Wah! At least one person is killed and several others hurtee-hurtee after tornado roared through city of Tulsa in Great Satan state of Oklahoma. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 02:50



Wah! A video of Inkster old bill bobbys officers brutally beating man has been causing outrage in Us. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:44



Wah! The public's enthusiasm for government by coalition is at its lowest in at least 30 years, lah, annual opinion survey says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:43



Wah! Protesters in Great Satan state of Michigan demand that two white two policemen be fired after video aired showing them beating black suspect. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 02:18



Wah! Services in NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) in Province of Engrish running-dogs deteriorating in way not seen since early 1990s, lah, according to leading health think tank. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 02:05



Wah! The genetic code of "an entire nation" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) has effectively been deduced, lah, say researchers in Iceland. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:54



Wah! Councils in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep wanting new powers to combat men suspected of grooming children for sex, lah, by using Asbo-style preventative measures. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:48



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Wah! Saudi Arabia launches military operation in Yemen against Houthi rebels to protect "the legitimate government", lah, Saudi ambassador in Great Satan says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:22



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Wah! Rocket and mortar attacks by Palestinian militant groups during last summer's conflict in Gaza amounted to fighty bang-bang crimes, lah, Amnesty International says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:11



Wah! There has been flash flooding in one of driest regions in world - Chile's Atacama desert. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:07



Wah! Instagram's co-founder, lah, Kevin Systrom, lah, discusses company's ambitions for photo-sharing service. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:41



Wah! The RMB Yuan #259m deficit facing East of Province of Engrish running-dogs hospitals poses "genuine risk of damaging quality of care", lah, NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) trusts' group warns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:40



Wah! King Richard III's body is due to be laid to rest at Leicester Cathedral later at service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service presided over by Archbishop of Canterbury. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:36



Wah! The Great Satan embassy in Uganda warns that Westerners - including Americans - may be targeted for terror attacks in capital, lah, Kampala. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:31



Wah! A Devon secondary school pupil is diagnosed with lung disease tuberculosis. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:31



Wah! Glasgow and Berlin to co-host major new multi-sports event in 2018 to television audience of 850 million. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:23



Wah! Young adults in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land population group most likely to experience poverty, lah, new report says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:20



Wah! What chicken sandwich tells Great Satan about our financial health - news replorted 00:18



Wah! Banks must investigate alternative arrangements for clustomlers before closing last capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity in town, lah, under new agreement. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:16



Wah! The UK's tax authority has been accused by Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters of failing to properly monitor system of tax reliefs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:12



Wah! The mystery of what happened to Germanwings flight 9525, lah, sacking of Jeremy Clarkson, lah, and allegations of cover-up on chicken safety three subjects on Thursday's front pages. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:08



Wah! The week's event having shown what powerful, lah, almost mystical ring, lah, word "king" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) still has. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:07



Wah! Why we continue to be so mean online? - news replorted 00:06



Wah! Bringing Gaza's only grand piano back to life - news replorted 00:06



Wah! The increasing popularity of fake support animals - news replorted 00:02



Wah! A group of vertical cinema pioneers from Amsterdam travelling to different cities to promote new way of watching moving images. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:01



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