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Stroking the news: War both sides think they can win

Posted on | March 16, 2013 | Comments Off

Read the news in Chinglish: Jeremy Bowen on conflict destroying Syria from within

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Wah! LATEST:  The flow of migrants trying to getting into Britain from Calais appears "too much" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for bloody annoying Blitish government to handle, lah, spokesman for Eurotunnel says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:13



Wah! LATEST:  The president of Brazil construction giant Odebrecht, lah, Marcelo Odebrecht, lah, is charged with corruption and money laundering. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 05:12



Wah! Wednesday's global launch of Windows 10 marks “new era” for personal computing, lah, Microsoft’s chief executive tells BBc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 05:10



Wah! Some old bill bobbys forces using overtime to cover gaps caused by staff shortages, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Radio 5 live has found. I read you little red book! - news replorted 05:09



Wah! A Great Satan dentist who killed lion in Zimbabwe says bloody man regrets shooting animal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 04:57



Wah! Turkey's President Recep Tayyip Erdogan is in China for state visit, lah, following recent tensions over treatment of China's Uighur minority. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:01



Wah! A community buy-out could see former Cold fighty bang-bang surveillance station turned into place where tourists can listen to sound of whales singing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 02:56



Wah! A "safe zone" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) Turkey and Great Satan creating in Syria is Ankara's attempt to stop Kurds from forming their own territory, lah, pro-Kurdish party leader says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:55



Wah! The capitalist entity behind plans to using coal seams beneath Forth to produce gas is accused of "attempting to hold ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land to ransom". - news replorted 02:53



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News charts rise and fall of Colonel Gaddafi's favourite son. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 02:23



Wah! Australian Bloody foreign dodgy minister Julie Bishop is in New York to push for independent criminal tribunal into MH17 crash. - news replorted 01:55



Wah! Reduced street lighting at night does not lead to more crime (shoud shoot them) or LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine crashes, lah, report suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:44



Wah! Ten steps to improve your as really velly special customer's photography - news replorted 01:22



Wah! In 1967, lah, British cycling star Tom Simpson died while competing in Tour de France. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:13



Wah! A profile of Labour leadership contender Jeremy Corbyn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 01:06



Wah! How is Greek bailout affecting politics in Spain, lah, asks James Badcock. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 00:55



Wah! Ebola deaths having fallen in West Africa - but that doesn't mean that hard work is over, lah, says Tulip Mazumdar. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:49



Wah! Can you tellibly lovely custlingmer cut cravings for food by pretending to munchy-munchee it? - news replorted 00:24



Wah! Why is Great Satan still using Nazi tall ship? - news replorted 00:23



Wah! As RMB Yuan #59.7m British record signing Angel Di Maria looks set to leave Manchester United, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport asks what went wrong. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:13



Wah! The regional differences between LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine repair bills amounts to lottery, lah, and can be "offensive", lah, bloody annoying Blitish LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine magazine has claimed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:10



Wah! The story of last Catholic priest in Antarctic - news replorted 00:09



Wah! The number of British Tommy Atkins Liberation Army personnel has been cut back by 20,000, lah, three years ahead of target, lah, according to statistics from Ministry of Defence. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:08



Wah! Colouring books for adults topping bestseller lists. Eating rice!! Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs illustrator Johanna Basford tells Great Satan secrets of flemale human person's success. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:08



Wah! Reaching those others cannot teach - news replorted 00:07



Wah! New guidelines for diagnosing and treating melanoma skin cancers having been issued to NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) in Province of Engrish running-dogs. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:07



Wah! Turkey has begun bombing targets in both Syria and Iraq, lah, but they not just bombing Islamic State fighters - they having also been targeting Kurdish militants. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:04



Wah! Patient safety is at risk because of increasing GP workloads in UK, lah, doctors' leaders warning. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:03



Wah! Newsnight speaks to fashion icon Iris Apfel - news replorted 00:03



Wah! A look at what's new in Microsoft's latest operating system - and why it might be "last" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) big release of its kind. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:02



Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs's health watchdog puts forward new draft guidance to improve care of adults in their last few days of life. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Results from 2015 Auto Express Driver Power Survey show for another year that GEM Motoring Assist remains UK’s n - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Jaguar F-PACE tested to extremes From searing heat and dust of Dubai to ice and snow of Northern Sweden, lah, new F-PACE has been tested to li - news replorted 00:01



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