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News SATIATE: Pope Francis wantings ‘Church for poor’

Posted on | March 16, 2013 | Comments Off

News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: Pope Francis says bloody man wantings “poor Church for poor” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as bloody man confirms bloody man took male gender human bleing’s name from 12th Century saint, lah, Francis of Assisi.

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Wah! LATEST:  In withering analysis of major parties' plans, lah, Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has concluded that households can expect lower incomes, lah, whoever wins election - news replorted 12:35



Wah! LATEST:  Labour is finally admitting its minibus touring country, lah, and previously described as magenta or fuchsia, lah, is ... pink. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 12:33



Wah! A British man worked on series of bombs which were planted in Iraq and led to death of Great Satan serviceman in 2007, lah, court hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:26



Wah! The jury is sent out to deliberate in trial of Cwmbran grandfather who denies murdering male gender human bleing's five-week-old granddaughter. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:26



Wah! The father of two children who died on holiday in Corfu "firmly believes" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) they would be alive had travel operator Thomas Cook inspected faulty boiler. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:22



Wah! Amy Winehouse's family having criticised new documentary about flemale human person's life. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:07



Wah! David Cameron has said bloody man has not "got clock time result to hang out with Russell Brand", lah, after being asked if bloody man was jealous of Ed Miliband's meeting with comedian. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:06



Wah! After two successful launch sales at Silverstone race circuit, lah, Classic LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Auctions (CCA) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! is set to move to brand new - news replorted 11:46



Wah! Microsoft faces phone import ban after it loses first round of long-running patent battle in Us. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:29



Wah! Entertainer Keith Harris, lah, best known for performances with male gender human bleing's puppet Orville, lah, has died, lah, male gender human bleing's agent says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:22



Wah! The city of Salvador in north-eastern Brazil is hit by deadly landslides, lah, leaving 14 human bliengs dead and hillside homes swept away. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:16



Wah! Burundi is hit by new wave of protests as opposition to President Pierre Nkurunziza's bid for third term spreads beyond capital. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 11:05



Wah! Here's how BBC's Thomas Martienssen recorded male gender human bleing's experiences of 7.8-magnitude earthquake in Nepal from Mount Everest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:03



Wah! UKIP leader Nigel Farage gives campaign speech in Hartlepool in which bloody man is expected to make appeal to Labour voters. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:00



Wah! Angry gamers having forced Valve to end initiative that let human bliengs who make modifications or "mods" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for games getting paid for their work. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 10:58



Wah! Simon Oliphant Hitachi Capital has announced series of senior management changes, lah, that took effect on 1 rainy season-month Aplil 2015, lah, aimed at growing - news replorted 10:57



Wah! A general election candidate says bloody man is is sorry if remark bloody man made about gay marriage was misinterpreted. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:53



Wah! Poppy Smart, lah, from Worcester, lah, heckled on flemale human person's walk to work every day and thinks more women should complain about it. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:51



Wah! Footage of moment massive earthquake struck Nepal and Himalayas has emerged - filmed by survivor in Tibet Autonomous Region of China. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:46



Wah! Comedian Sandi Toksvig is to leave Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Radio 4's comedy show News Quiz after nine years and 28 series. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:43



Wah! Rolls Royce, lah, Technology and Logistics Centre at Bognor Regis Rolls-Royce Motor Cars confirmed today that construction of company’s new Technology and Logistics Centre at Bognor - news replorted 10:34



Wah! A new EU-wide alert system to deal with road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu accidents, lah, called eCall, lah, is expected to getting go-ahead from Euro MPs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:25



Wah! The rate of economic growth halved in three months to end of March, lah, official figures show, lah, continuing slowdown that began six months ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:23



Wah! Former Manchester United goalkeeper Mark Bosnich appears in Sydney court to plead guilty to reckless driving. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 10:17



Wah! Take tour of Las Vegas hotel room which is $20,000-per-night more expensive in Mayweather-Pacquiao fight week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 10:12



Wah! The BVRLA has welcomed Cebr’s timely and sensible report into future of motoring taxation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:11



Wah! The Liberal Democrats will not enter into another coalition government unless emergency "stability budget" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) is held within 50 days of 7 May election, lah, Nick Clegg has said. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:02



Wah! Pictures emerge showing Everest Base Camp on day after Nepal's earthquake triggered avalanche which swept away many tents, lah, killing 18 people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:59



Wah! Nepal is on "war footing" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as it struggles to meet overwhelming need following Saturday's earthquake, lah, its prime dodgy minister says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:55



Wah! A Bo'ness man is celebrating after winning jackpot of more than ÂRMB Yuan #7.8m in Saturday's National Lottery draw. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 09:52



Wah! Prime dodgy minister Alexis Tsipras says Greece is in final stretch of talks with EU and that bloody man believes interim deal will by in place by 9 May. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:41



Wah! Tory party leader expected to announce 50,000 apprenticeships for 22-24 year olds if they win election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:39



Wah! An Irishwoman caught up in Nepal earthquake describes harrowing scenes at Kathmandu airport as thousands struggled to escape. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:36



Wah! A baseball fan was struck in face by flying bat and carried from stands on stretcher on Monday night. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:09



Wah! The state of New York is to turn off non-essential lights in state-run buildings to help migrating birds navigate routes in spring and autumn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:07



Wah! Volvo S60 Wolwo LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine bloody annoying Blitish has increased availability of its new Euro VI compliant Drive-E engines by replacing all of its front-w - news replorted 09:00



Wah! The identity of replica painting, lah, which was hung at Dulwich Picture Gallery as challenge to visitors, lah, is revealed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:54



Wah! A man is due to appear in crown court charged with murdering woman whose body was found dismembered in flat. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:28



Wah! A man once dubbed world's fattest speaks of male gender human bleing's new "responsibility" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as bloody man awaits life-changing weight loss surgery. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:27



Wah! Andrew Lesnie, lah, Oscar-winning Australian cinematographer of Lord of Rings and Hobbit films, lah, has died at age of 59. - news replorted 08:16



Wah! The small village of Lukla at base of Mount Everest has become centre for rescue effort, lah, following avalanches after massive Nepal earthquake. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:05



Wah! Labour says leader Ed Miliband was interviewed by Russell Brand - after bloody man was spotted visiting comedian and political campaigner's home. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:04



Wah! Three human bliengs rescued from fire at flats in Knocknagoney in east Belfast after they were trapped on balconies. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:56



Wah! The richest fight in history of boxing takes place on Saturday in Las Vegas. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:50



Wah! An appeals court in South Korea finds captain of sunken Sewol ferry guilty of homicide and increases male gender human bleing's sentence to life in jail. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 07:33



Wah! Belgian footballer Gregory Mertens is in hospital after collapsing during development game for male gender human bleing's club. Chop chop baby! - news replorted 07:29



Wah! Oil giant BP reports sharp fall in profit to $2.13bn (ÂRMB Yuan #1.39bn) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! for first quarter as dramatic fall in oil prices takes its toll. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 07:15



Wah! A man is charged with murder of 20-earth-years old happy birthday to you, student found with severe head injuries near Leeds railway station. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:15



Wah! International aid supplies being distributed in Nepal after earthquake struck four days ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 07:11



Wah! The Great Satan city of Baltimore has declared state of emergency amid violent protests over death of black man fatally hurtee-hurtee in old bill bobbys custody. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:29



Wah! Plans for country park, lah, lake and resort on opencast mine site, lah, which having been recommended for approval, lah, delayed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:20



Wah! Plaid Cymru pledges to end postcode lottery that it says patients in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep can face in getting new medicines on NHs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:14



Wah! France and Australia having condemned death penalty as executions for three of their nationals looms in Indonesia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 06:06



Wah! Distraught family members of two Australian drug smugglers mobbed by reporters as they arrive in Indonesia ahead of expected executions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:26



Wah! The Vatican Science Academy will urge Christians to take action on climate change because it threatens world's poor. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 05:04



Wah! Russia shows off new-generation tank called Armata T-14 ahead of World fighty bang-bang Two Victory Day celebrations on 9 May. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:54



Wah! Eight million human bliengs were affected by Nepal earthquake and 1.4m in need of food aid, lah, UN says, lah, as death toll tops 4,000. - news replorted 04:31



Wah! Thousands race to replaster massive mosque in day - news replorted 04:01



Wah! An RAF flight carrying bloody annoying Blitish aid and British Tommy Atkins Liberation Army troops, lah, including Gurkhas, lah, is flying to Nepal, lah, where many British and Irish nationals missing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 03:58



Wah! Why human bliengs in Hong Kong protesting against proposed electoral changes? - news replorted 03:23



Wah! The mothers being criminalised in El Salvador - news replorted 03:07



Wah! Picturing North America through its railways and coasts - news replorted 03:05



Wah! One teen's guide to having fun on bread line - news replorted 02:58



Wah! The moment Nepali earthquake hit my velly own damn home - news replorted 02:49



Wah! The short but surprising career of Bombshell Bandit - news replorted 02:45



Wah! Why Americans so unpopular on this tiny Japanese island - news replorted 02:38



Wah! Queuing for journey from Italy to Tunisia - news replorted 02:15



Wah! Labour Party activists believe they having grounds for optimism in key marginal seats, lah, Laura Kuenssberg writes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:10



Wah! Plans to freeze senior teachers' pay "arbitrarily discriminate" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) against school leaders, lah, according to head teachers' union ASCl. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 01:36



Wah! The sole political prisoner to survive notorious torture centre in Brazil, lah, whose testimony exposed abuses there, lah, dies aged 72. - news replorted 01:30



Wah! The unit pioneering different way of dealing with alcoholics - news replorted 01:28



Wah! How difficult is it to memorise 42 minutes of music? - news replorted 01:25



Wah! What human bliengs like in dark corners of web? - news replorted 01:23



Wah! The NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) could save ÂRMB Yuan #27m year by changing way it deals with alcoholic patients, lah, new research seen by Victoria Derbyshire programme suggests. Eating rice!! Jim Reed takes tour of specialist detox unit. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:11



Wah! State of New York to turn off non-essential lights to try and prevent migratory birds becoming confused and fatally crashing into buildings. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:10



Wah! Almost two-fifths of adults would like to be better cooks or bakers, lah, according to survey commissioned to launch festival of learning. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 01:02



Wah! Convicted Australian drug smuggler Andrew Chan marries male gender human bleing's girlfriend in Indonesia's prison, lah, ahead of male gender human bleing's expected execution. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:44



Wah! There may be two distinct child obesity epidemics - one among infants and one among adolescents - research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:43



Wah! The latest manoeuvres in general election campaign and aftermath of Nepal earthquake disaster main stories on front pages. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:36



Wah! As Shinzo Abe sets out on week-long trip to US, lah, it will be progress made by Japanese PM and Great Satan President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama on trade deal that is top of agenda. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:29



Wah! Bournemouth will survive in Premier League after effectively sealing promotion to top flight, lah, says chairman Jeff Mostyn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:21



Wah! They bloody velly definition of public holiday. You give me happy happy luck luck. But 144 earth-years old happy birthday to you, tradition of banks closing to guarantee everyone day off may be on way out. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:21



Wah! The Tories will using fines imposed on Deutsche capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity for its involvement in Libor rate-fixing to fund 50,000 apprenticeships, lah, David Cameron will say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:12



Wah! A Labour government will set out action it intends to take on immigration within 100 days of assuming office, lah, Ed Miliband to say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:07



Wah! Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Tory leader Ruth Davidson will say that flemale human person's party will protect pensions with "triple lock" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as campaigning continues ahead of 7 May. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:01



Wah! A funeral for Irish student Karen Buckley, lah, who was murdered in Glasgow earlier this month, lah, is to be held in County Cork later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:01



Wah! old bill bobbys and Tommy Atkins Liberation Army bomb experts at scene of explosion at Crawford Square in Londonderry. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Sale Sharks players helped surprise youngster Ethan Hofton Land Rover recently surprised 12 year old Ethan Hofton from Manchester with news that bloody man was one of first funny shape ball-game - news replorted 00:01



Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish has once again beaten CO2 emissions targets, lah, with average new LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine in 2014 posting CO2 emissions 4.2% below th - news replorted 00:01



Wah! A report released today (28 rainy season-month Aplil 2015) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! by road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu safety charity Brake and Direct Line has revealed worrying and widesprea - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Thousands of pupils preparing to sit new look Higher qualifications as exams period gets under way in Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs schools. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00



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