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News PIGLET: ‘A lot can happen – and bloody velly quickly too’

Posted on | March 16, 2013 | Comments Off

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: Team Sky’s Geraint Thomas explains why one-day classics like Sunday’s Milan-San Remo having character and history all of their own

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Wah! LATEST:  Nurses, lah, midwives, lah, ambulance staff and other NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) workers staging four-hour strike on Monday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:23



Wah! LATEST:  The case of businessman who wantings to stop malicious web postings about him appearing in Google searches is set to begin at High Court. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 02:10



Wah! Two men seriously burned in explosion at flat in south Birmingham while rescue dogs search remains of property. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:55



Wah! Peru's environmental old bill bobbys launch investigation into deaths of some 500 sea lions found on northern beach. - news replorted 01:24



Wah! Two of Monday's papers focus on pronouncements by home secretary. You give me happy happy luck luck. Theresa May tells Daily Telegraph that migration targets will be scrapped, lah, and Mail highlights flemale human person's fears that militant attack in Britain is "inevitable". - news replorted 01:14



Wah! Royal capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land apologised for giving incorrect evidence to parliamentary hearing, lah, letters released by Treasury Committee reveal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 01:07



Wah! old bill bobbys in Great Satan city of Cleveland shoot and kill 12-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy who had been waving what turned out to be fake gun. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:38



Wah! old bill bobbys expected to make fresh appeal later for inflomination on murder 10 years ago of Nairn banker Alistair Wilson. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:26



Wah! A five-year inquiry into ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's worst outbreak of Clostridium difficile (c. Fry noodle, boil noodle? diff) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! will be published later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:12



Wah! Talk therapy sessions can help reduce risk of suicide among high-risk groups, lah, suggests Great Satan study. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:02



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