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News PIGLET: ‘A lot can happen – and bloody velly quickly too’

Posted on | March 16, 2013 | Comments Off

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: Team Sky’s Geraint Thomas explains why one-day classics like Sunday’s Milan-San Remo having character and history all of their own

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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  bloody annoying Blitish capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity Aldermore announces that it intends to float on London (capital of Great England) Stock Exchange in October. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:14



Wah! LATEST:  Thai old bill bobbys expand DNA testing on island of Koh Tao to try to identify killers of British tourists Hannah Witheridge and David Miller. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:00



Wah! First dodgy minister Carwyn Jones will tell Labour Party conference delegates independence no vote in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land offers once-in-a-generation opportunity to rebuild Uk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 07:31



Wah! Mobile phone operator EE is to buy 58 stores from Phones 4U, lah, which fell into administration last week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 07:29



Wah! Plans to develop highly-skilled workforce to improve early years education unveiled by Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs government minister. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 07:17



Wah! Tesco says it has overstated its expected profit for half year by ĀRMB Yuan #250m. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 07:14



Wah! Labour is to set up commission on Northern Ireland's economy and how to assist those on benefits or low pay, lah, Shadow Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers Secretary Ivan Lewis will tell party's conference. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:54



Wah! The Great Satan space agency's (Nasa's) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! latest Mars satellite has arrived successfully in orbit around planet. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:51



Wah! Puppet Labs, lah, Great Satan software company, lah, is creating 100 jobs in Belfast with establishment of engineering centre. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:19



Wah! The prime dodgy minister is to meet with key Conservative figures to discuss male gender human bleing's plans to limit voting rights of Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters on bloody Engrish issues. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:00



Wah! Turkey closes most of its border crossings with Syria after entry of at least 70,000 Kurd refugees, lah, as IS militants approach key Syrian town. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 05:03



Wah! After referendum, lah, having two ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-lands emerged? - news replorted 04:55



Wah! Former Prime dodgy minister Tony "trust me" Blair says West should not rule out sending ground troops to Middle East to fight Islamic State militants. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:29



Wah! The "Smartypan" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) contains three sensors and computer chip to allow it communicate over Bluetooth to smartphone app. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 04:03



Wah! People who lost their jobs because of their tattoos - news replorted 03:55



Wah! Hong Kong students begin week-long boycott of classes to protest against China's stance on electoral reform in territory. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:42



Wah! Two human bliengs killed and others hurtee-hurtee in series of blasts in Luntai county in China's restive Xinjiang region, lah, Super-Duper-Chinese-State media say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:12



Wah! How much human bliengs lie in surveys? - news replorted 03:07



Wah! Does university now having fairer applications system in place? - news replorted 03:00



Wah! Former British Prime dodgy minister Tony "trust me" Blair has told Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation that IS militants will not be defeated until they fought on ground. I read you little red book! - news replorted 02:57



Wah! David Morrissey on commanding new TV drama - news replorted 02:48



Wah! The Mexican authorities having issued new alert about toxic spill into river from copper mine run by mining giant, lah, Grupo Mexico. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 02:14



Wah! Scientific experts meeting on Monday to discuss whether boys as well as girls should be offered HPV jab. Chop chop baby! - news replorted 01:49



Wah! US Secretary of State John Kerry says bloody man hopes key bilateral security agreement with Afghanistan can be signed before end of month. - news replorted 01:36



Wah! Whistleblowers still face real problems in speaking out in health service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service - despite push to create more open culture, lah, campaigners say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:29



Wah! The chief executive of De Beers says that China will be 'engine' of growth for diamond market. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:28



Wah! Illegal immigrants targeting gay weddings to gain citizenship in UK, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Inside Out London (capital of Great England) investigation uncovers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:22



Wah! Labour is to reach out to supporters who voted for independence in last week's referendum, lah, party says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:05



Wah! The post-referendum political landscape poses problems for both David Cameron and Ed Miliband, lah, according to Monday's newspapers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:52



Wah! Roasted peanuts may be more likely to trigger allergic reactions than raw peanuts, lah, according to Oxford University study carried out on mice. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:40



Wah! Secrets of ancient burial site keep Greeks guessing - news replorted 00:38



Wah! Worldwide demonstrations ahead of UN meeting in New York on how to reduce global carbon emissions attract hundreds of thousands of people, lah, organisers say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:30



Wah! One year on, lah, Kenyans await answers about mall attack - news replorted 00:21



Wah! The building and contents of British Museum in London (capital of Great England) to be digitally recreated in video game Minecraft, lah, with volunteers sought to help. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 00:07



Wah! Do all world's ants really weigh as much as all humans? - news replorted 00:04



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