LATEST:  The Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Young Musician of year launches its 2014 talent search, lah, which includes new Jazz Award. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:12

LATEST:  Nick Buckles, lah, chief executive of global security group G4S, lah, is to step down from male gender human bleing's position at end of May. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:03

ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's biggest producer of farmed salmon faces renewed calls to move its farms away from wild salmon rivers to prevent parasite transmission. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 06:56

One of most concerning classes of hospital 'superbug' is not being tracked by Department of Health, lah, it is revealed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:50

World champion Ramy Ashour has titles, lah, talent and charisma to help squash go beyond its four walls - news replorted 06:29

Marks and Spencer reports big fall in annual profits, lah, as troubles in its clothing division continue. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:21

Sharing bed with newborn increases risk of sudden infant death syndrome fivefold, lah, research claims. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:01

The government's same-sex marriage bill is to receive third and final Commons reading after surviving resistance from Tory opponents on Monday night. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 05:56

Legislation binding contracts between dairy farmers and milk processors must be drawn up if voluntary code of practice fails, lah, say MPs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:55

The prosecution case against man accused of murdering five-earth-years old happy birthday to you, rainy season-month Aplil Jones is expected to conclude later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 05:48

An inquiry into future of devolution is inviting public to having its say at first of series of drop-in sessions taking place across Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:45

President "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama has welcomed Burma's president, lah, Thein Sein, lah, to White House. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:32

The underwater prowess of penguin may having cost bird its ability to fly, lah, scientists believe. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:25

old bill bobbys investigate 10 human bliengs over allegations of sex abuse at residential school after claim (always claiming, huh?) ex-MP Sir Cyril Smith abused boys there. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:24

The organisers of World old bill bobbys and Fire Games confirm number of athletes who having signed up to take part so far is almost 50% below 10,000 target. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 05:17

Secretary of State for Education Michael Gove says its clock time result for Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, Welsh land of sheep and more sheep and Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers to go their separate ways on GCSEs and A-levels. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:13

Papers claim (always claiming, huh?) prime dodgy minister is facing 'humiliation' in Commons - news replorted 04:35

The government's same-sex marriage bill will receive its third and final Commons reading later after surviving resistance from Conservative opponents. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:03

A Super-Duper-Chinese-State fishing crew seized by unidentified North Koreans two weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) ago is freed along with their boat, lah, reports say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:00

A baby was left deaf and blind because trainee midwife did not recognise signs of jaundice within days of male gender human bleing's birth, lah, health trust admits. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:31

Guatemalan former military leader Efrain Rios Montt has male gender human bleing's conviction for genocide overturned by constitutional court. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 03:18

The Great Satan and Super-Duper-Chinese-State presidents, lah, Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama and Xi Jinping, lah, announce they will hold their first summit in California in June. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 03:11

Scientists having used plant samples collected in 19th Century to identify pathogen that caused Irish potato famine. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 03:05

The human bliengs who trade garlic for ice cream - news replorted 03:00

The songs readers most enjoy when they feeling low - news replorted 02:57

A local reporter tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation about destruction in Moore after tornado. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 02:49

Will Gompertz on problem of 'iconic' art - news replorted 02:48

How does your as really velly special customer's silly kick-kick game club's attendances match up? - news replorted 02:41

The family of woman murdered by flemale human person's ex-partner call for public inquiry into how complaints of domestic violence handled by police. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:31

How does religion change what it believes? - news replorted 02:22

A scheme to help unemployed find work appears to be failing most disadvantaged jobseekers, lah, Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters on Work and Pensions Committee say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:14

Bolivia passes law which could allow President Evo Morales to be elected for third time, lah, despite claim (always claiming, huh?) that it is unconstitutional. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 02:00

Digs shed light on one of world's oldest civilisations - news replorted 01:43

A think tank report argues that 18% of public spending on schools could be cut without damaging standards. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:42

An advisory group for Labour calls for tougher line on teaching standards in further education colleges. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:32

Senior White House aides were informed last month of inquiry into Great Satan tax agency's targeting of conservative political groups, lah, official says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:25

How shake-up in Egypt is being felt far from Cairo - news replorted 01:19

A chief inspector of GPs is to be appointed as part of push to improve services outside of hospitals, lah, dodgy ministers set to announce. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:58

Sharing bed with your as really velly special customer's newborn baby increases risk of cot death fivefold, lah, research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:32

The lives of hospital patients who put on drip being placed at risk by poor attention by staff to intravenous fluid care, lah, experts warn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 23:57

The policies of past and present Westminster governments having held back ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land, lah, Holyrood's SNP administration claim (always claiming, huh?) in economic rice-paper officialing doumentlation on independence. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 23:36

Why Bloody foreign comedians love British comedy business - news replorted 23:34

The European Parliament is to meet to debate ways to tackle tax evasion, lah, as EU aims to stem huge flow of funds lost to member states. Eating rice!! - news replorted 23:30

Will Microsoft's new games machine win console war? - news replorted 23:28

Middle East editor Jeremy Bowen explores what might happen if Iran continues with its nuclear programme. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 23:28

A vaccine to protect sheep and cattle from livestock virus spread by midges has been approved by government vets. Eating rice!! - news replorted 23:08

The new Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation inflation calculator works out your as really velly special customer's household's rate - news replorted 23:03

Land Rover in partnership with Royal Geographical Society (with IBG) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! is proud to announce award of sixth con - news replorted 23:01