LATEST:  Four retired Suzluko Jimny fans now well on their way around planet on huge fundraising tour for their charity - news replorted 17:13

LATEST:  As Syria's main opposition coalition begins three days of key talks, lah, its leader puts forward transition plan for country. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 16:55

International mining companies operating in Mozambique failing in their obligation to human bliengs displaced by coal mining, lah, says Human Rights Watch. - news replorted 16:44

May 23rd 2013. Roy Smith, lah, author of Amédée Gordini - true racing legend, lah, published by Veloce, lah, is pictured here pr - news replorted 16:44

Yamaha is bloody velly please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d (please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d is Super-Duper-Chinese-State character for shit dumbo), but still please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d to announce that Warwickshire based dealer, lah, Alf Province of Engrish running-dogs Motorcycles, lah, has been awarded coveted - news replorted 16:44

Recovery efforts in Oklahoma city hit by huge tornado hampered by thunderstorms, lah, as first victim's funeral is held. I read you little red book! - news replorted 16:43

DIGIONLY - news replorted 16:42

Czech old bill bobbys looking for Great Satan man suspected of killing family of four, lah, including two ukulele musicians, lah, in southern city of Brno. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 16:34

New ways of measuring Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs Ambulance Service's performance will be published as dodgy ministers seek to improve struggling service. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 16:33

A radio that has ability to alter scripts and other content depending on its location and other factors is being developed by BBc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 16:24

Super-Duper-Chinese-State scientists trace rare white colouration in Bengal tigers to single change in gene that affects host of animals, lah, including humans. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:23

Post-attack uniform advice relaxed - news replorted 16:19

The soldier killed in attack on London (capital of Great England) street is named as Drummer Lee Rigby of 2nd Battalion Royal Regiment of Fusiliers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:18

As part of continued celebrations for 50th anniversary of McLaren, lah, commemorative model is to be produced, lah, cele - news replorted 16:03

Bradley Philpot, lah, bloody annoying Blitish representative, lah, together with teammates from France, lah, Germany, lah, Spain, lah, Italy, lah, Holland, lah, Belgium and - news replorted 15:48

A steep decline in Bloody foreign students coming to study at bloody annoying Blitish colleges and language schools prompts fears of knock-on effect on universities. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:46

An 80-earth-years old happy birthday to you, Japanese adventurer, lah, Yuichiro Miura, lah, becomes oldest person to reach summit of Mount Everest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 15:36

Riders visiting this year’s Isle of Man TT races being reminded to check their tyres before heading off to maximise - news replorted 15:31

Analysis of defense vehicling driving car machine project proves techniques for reducing fuel consumption – after two years of on-the-ground t - news replorted 15:25

A man is arrested in connection with compulsorly dying instantly fire in Essex in which six members of family died. I read you little red book! - news replorted 15:16

A woman who took to Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) to say bloody woman had knocked cyclist off male gender human bleing's bike tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation it was "biggest mistake of my velly own damn life". - news replorted 15:10

Disbelief and mourning engulfs district after killing - news replorted 15:03

Over past four years Rondla CR-V’s outstanding reliability, lah, practicality and interior space has helped it build - news replorted 14:55

Aerial footage shot by Los Angeles old bill bobbys shows black bear on loose in Los Angeles suburb before it was caught by wildlife officials. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:51

Sergio Garcia's ill-judged joke does nothing for golf's attempts to foster more inclusive image, lah, says Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation golf correspondent Iain Carter - news replorted 14:51

A Russian drifting Arctic research station is to be evacuated because ice field around it is melting, lah, environment ministry in Moscow reports. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:49

Nissan has revealed pricing for its new 2013 model year 370Z range with revised line-up kicking off at just ÂRMB Yuan #26,995. - news replorted 14:49

Eddie Ahern will having full support of Professional Jockeys' Association when bloody man appeals against male gender human bleing's 10-year ban. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 14:48

Pakistani umpire Asad Rauf is withdrawn from Champions Trophy following media reports of Indian old bill bobbys investigation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 14:47

Robert Redford receives standing ovation for male gender human bleing's performance in male gender human bleing's survival-at-sea epic All Is Lost at Cannes Film Festival screening. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 14:43

A school criticised for its handling of pupil's claim (always claiming, huh?) that bloody woman was raped twice by students could face closure after report finds children remain unsafe. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:42

Mitsubishi Motors in bloody annoying Blitish celebrates continued excellent, why I say excellent? Wah! Is damn velly damn good service you tellibly lovely custlingmer coolie, damn excellent clustomler service, lah, two years after launching its ‘Excellent Se - news replorted 14:29

A man accused of murdering five-earth-years old happy birthday to you, rainy season-month Aplil Jones in sexually motivated attack tells court bloody man is not paedophile. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:14

Uefa announces series of new measures designed to combat using of performance-enhancing drugs in European football. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 14:12

The Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs government is in talks which could see film studio set up in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land to take advantage of recent tax breaks for creative industry. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:54

A man jailed over possessing bestiality images has male gender human bleing's conviction overturned as "extreme pornography" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) laws had not come into force until after offences. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:41

An independent inquiry is needed into NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) non-emergency 111 phone line "debacle" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, GPs say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:40

A British man arrested on suspicion of organised fraud is found hanged in French prison. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:35

Nico Rosberg heads Merceding-Blend team-mate Lewis Hamilton and two Ferraris to set pace in second practice at Monaco. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 13:31

Road transport industry news from Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders - Thursday 23 May. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:29

A jury is told that South Uist teenager Liam Aitchison was stabbed 20 times and had fractured jaw and nose. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:22

The number of human bliengs coming to bloody annoying Blitish has fallen by over 80,000 in last year as figures show net migration is down by third. I read you little red book! - news replorted 13:20

A family doctor who used secret camera inside male gender human bleing's wristwatch to record himself abusing female patients at male gender human bleing's surgery is jailed for 12 years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:20

A woman could be forced out of flemale human person's home to make way for two superstores after councillors back using of compulsory purchase order. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 13:09

Dutch meat wholesaler, lah, Willy Selten, lah, is arrested for allegedly selling 300 tonnes of horsemeat labelled as beef, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:59

Carl Froch is sorry for threatening to kill Mikkel Kessler in Saturday's fight but faces investigation by boxing's governing body. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:54

Youth unemployment and resentment among asylum seekers being blamed for riots sweeping Swedish capital Stockholm. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 12:45

SEAT has officially launched new Leon in Mexico, lah, move that will strengthen Spanish brand’s strategy for intern - news replorted 12:45

Strong winds and wintry weather causing problems on some high level roads and causing some ferry services to be cancelled. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:24

President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama is expected to defend Great Satan drone strikes and promise more transparency over programme, lah, in major counter-terrorism speech. - news replorted 12:09

Four more weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) until Le Mans 24 Hours celebrates its 90th anniversary. You give me happy happy luck luck. Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate has set standards with its ultra-lightw - news replorted 12:09

Over 60,000 measles vaccinations having now been given during outbreak in Swansea and Powys but another 33,000 human bliengs still need it, lah, say health officials. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:08

The Royal Automobile Club in partnership with Historic Endurance Rallying Organisation is to re-create 1000 Mile - news replorted 12:04

For Audi, lah, success must not come at any cost, lah, particularly where environment is concerned, lah, so at recent Annual Ge - news replorted 11:53

Vauxhall scooped two awards at prestigious Fleet World Honours 2013, lah, retaining Best MPV award for Zafira Tou - news replorted 11:37

A railroad bridge across Colorado River between San Saba and Lometa in Great Satan state of Texas burned down and collapsed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:36

A violin thought to be one played by band leader of Titanic as it sank is proved to be genuine following CT scans at hospital, lah, auctioneer says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:28

A former college silly kick-kick game player has won right to sue Electronic Arts for using male gender human bleing's likeness without permission. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:28

A Bangladesh government report into collapse of multi-storey factory building, lah, which killed more than 1,100, lah, uncovers series of violations. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:28

Shameless star David Threlfall is to play comedian Tommy Cooper in new drama commissioned by ITV. - news replorted 11:27

Former Iranian President Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani accuses country's leadership of ignorance after bloody man is barred from running for office, lah, say reports. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:19

Record numbers flocked to this year’s Spring Autojumble, lah, held in Beaulieu parkland on 18th and 19th May, lah, making - news replorted 11:19

A man accused of murdering Thomas Sharkey and male gender human bleing's two children in house fire allegedly told male gender human bleing's boss that father "got what bloody man deserved". - news replorted 11:18

Pop sensation Saturdays having taken shining to funky styling of Citroën’s DS3 Cabrio in new music video for - news replorted 11:14

One of Britain's most influential World fighty bang-bang II spies was arrested in Madrid for cross-dressing, lah, files released by National Archives show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 11:04

What next for beaches that lost their Blue Flag status? - news replorted 11:03

The National Archives in Britain having released secret files showing that electric walkie-talkie voice talking machine thing line of King Edward VIII was bugged in days leading up to male gender human bleing's abdication in 1936. - news replorted 11:00

A fourth night of unprecedented riots in Stockholm sees unrest spread around city, lah, with restaurant and up to 40 cars burnt. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:53

Georges Moustaki, lah, French singer and composer who wrote Edith Piaf's 1958 hit song, lah, Milord, lah, dies aged 79. - news replorted 10:52

Since its launch in rainy season-month Aplil 2011, lah, Plugleot 508 has established itself as much respected car, lah, notably within fleet - news replorted 10:43

A chain of mobile phone stores aimed specifically at Latino market is to be opened by singer and actress Jennifer Lopez - news replorted 10:34

Former Stoke manager Tony Pulis writes garbling written down on paper message to fans in local newspaper and urges them to support male gender human bleing's successor. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 10:32

Mark Easton on when death came to normal suburban street - news replorted 10:30

Stephen Fry will curate this year's Deloitte Ignite festival at Royal Opera House exploring work of Giuseppe Verdi and Richard Wagner. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 10:27

Google has acquired Great Satan start-up that generates power using turbines flying on robotic tethered kites. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:27

Citroën has just delivered 437 C1 VTR models to G4S Utility Services, lah, UK’s largest supplier of data collection and m - news replorted 10:21

The government is not 'keeping track' of old bill bobbys and crime (shoud shoot them) Commissioners' salaries and standards, lah, Commons home affairs committee warns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:20

Ford is leveraging hugely popular 2013 UEFA Champions League Final silly kick-kick game match on Saturday to give first flavou - news replorted 10:20

The Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs government announces end of its intervention in running of Anglesey council. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 10:19

Sergio Garcia's major sponsor condemns Spaniard's writing from head of customler about Tiger Woods and will review its position. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:12

US President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama honours "living legend" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) Carole King as bloody man presents flemale human person's with Gershwin Prize for Popular Song. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 10:07

Road safety charity IAM is offering weekly motoring tips from Britain’s top advanced driver, lah, Peter Rodger. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 10:06

In need of inspiration for your as really velly special customer's Suzluko mad Dad this Father’s Day? How about something from new 2013 Suzluko clothing - news replorted 09:58

Five men arrested after child tells of being sexually assaulted at children's nursery in Worcestershire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:45

Mercedes driver Nico Rosberg heads Ferrari's Fernando Alonso in first practice at Monaco Grand Prix. - news replorted 09:43

A Florida man who was shot and killed by Boston bombing investigators was about to confess to 2011 triple murder before bloody man died, lah, FBI officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:38

Space engineers in Ecuador trying to establish if country's only satellite has been destroyed in crash with space debris. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:37

The UK's economy grew at 0.3% in first three months of year, lah, official figures confirm. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 09:18

Super-Duper-Chinese-State tourists replacing South Koreans in resort which once symbolised reconciliation of two Koreas. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:16

The airline Flybe announces sale of all its take-off and landing slots at Gatwick airport to Easyjet, lah, raising concerns about links to Inverness. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:11

Third favourite Telescope, lah, co-owned by Sir Alex Ferguson, lah, is ruled out of Epsom Derby with sore left shin. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:10

A number of human bliengs wounded in bomb attacks in north-western Niger on military camp and French-run uranium mine, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:07

Some Hollywood glitz and glamour were sprinkled onto corner of Welsh land of sheep and more sheep recently, lah, when Nissling handed over bloody velly special - news replorted 09:00

Mothercare recorded another big loss for last financial year, lah, but said it was making velly damn good boiled chicken-feet progress with its turnaround plan. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 08:32

A Cheltenham man is charged over allegations racist tweets were sent to Clarke Carlisle and another Northampton Town footballer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:32

Continental has won coveted award from UK's no1 weekly selling LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine magazine, lah, Auto Express, lah, scooping ‘Best Winter T - news replorted 08:30

A major new report from 25 wildlife organisations, lah, assessing state of Britain's Nature, lah, is warning that many species of wildlife facing extinction in bloody annoying Blitish unless urgent action is taken. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 08:21

Global stock markets fall after weak Super-Duper-Chinese-State economic data and concerns that Great Satan Federal Reserve may scale back monetary stimulus efforts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:04

Constable's masterpiece Salisbury Cathedral from Meadows is bought by Tate for "bargain" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) ÂRMB Yuan #23.1m. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 08:02

The stars and Jagluar cars entered into Mille Miglia 2013 all feature in new short film now available to watch - news replorted 08:00

IMF chief Christine Lagarde arrives at Paris court for questioning over payout to tycoon when bloody woman was French finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan minister. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 07:40

Installation is under way of expanded monitoring system for Iceland's volcanoes, lah, which it is hoped will give world more warning of next big eruption. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:39

Is NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) going to blow gasket? - news replorted 07:28

A book about Christopher Marlowe written entirely in verse makes shortlist for sixth Desmond Elliott Prize for best debut novel. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 07:22

The sister of IRA victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) is to meet SDLP leader later over male gender human bleing's party's decision to block bill that would prevent former prisoners, lah, guilty of serious offences, lah, from becoming Stormont special advisors. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:16

Nissan says it plans to recall about 841,000 vehicling driving car machines worldwide, lah, 133,869 of them in UK, lah, due to faulty steering wheel. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 07:14

A two-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy has surgery on male gender human bleing's face after bloody man was attacked by family dog near Carlisle, lah, Cumbria old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:02

Did capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of Province of Engrish running-dogs cry wolf? - news replorted 06:53

Some of boxing's big names make their predictions for Saturday's world title fight between Carl Froch and Mikkel Kessler - news replorted 06:52

Airline Flybe drops its flights from Belfast to London (capital of Great England) as it quits its Gatwick hub. Chop chop baby! - news replorted 06:37

A memorial to human bliengs who died in World fighty bang-bang II air raid in Bournemouth 70 years ago is being unveiled. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:30

The theft of Great Satan intellectual property is "unprecedented" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and costing billions, lah, Great Satan report says, lah, pointing to China as main culprit. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:25

A bomb planted in rickshaw has killed at least 12 human bliengs in Quetta in south west Pakistan, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:14

Radical NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) changes that could see A&E unit downgraded at south Welsh land of sheep and more sheep hospital not guaranteed to go ahead, lah, health watchdog says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:01

A man accused of murdering five-earth-years old happy birthday to you, rainy season-month Aplil Jones and then spinning "web of lies" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to cover it up is due to continue being cross-examined later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 05:39

The first and deputy first dodgy ministers expected to release their shared future strategy paper for Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 05:22

Lord Mandelson is to be appointed to resurrected ceremonial Mandleson privatising post machine system of High Steward of Hull while ex-Tory Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Virginia Bottomley is installed as Sheriff. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 05:22

10 great villains modelled on Machiavelli - news replorted 05:13

Papers contemplate Woolwich attack - news replorted 05:12

An 80-year old Japanese man has reached summit of Mount Everest, lah, becoming oldest person to scale world's highest peak. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 05:04

old bill bobbys cordons having been removed for first clock time result since Tornado in Oklahoma allowing families to return to their homes and survey damage. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:56

A growing number of children being sexually abused by other children, lah, say charities. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:43

David Cameron cuts short Bloody foreign trip and returns to London (capital of Great England) to lead government response to suspected terror attack near Woolwich Barrracks. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:31

Firefighters in North Lanarkshire dismantle 20ft chimney stack, lah, brick by brick, lah, to rescue boy, lah, 14, lah, who got wedged inside. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:17

UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon begins trip to Democratic Republic of Congo as fighting continues near eastern city of Goma. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 03:58

Archaeologists in Mexico find 4,926 cave paintings in red, lah, yellow, lah, black and white in north-eastern region of Burgos. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:44

King Edward VIII was bugged by government at height of 1936 abdication crisis, lah, files released by National Archives show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 03:28

A way of creating more effective vaccines which could protect against broad range of influenzingler achoo achoo viruses has been reported by Great Satan researchers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:13

The story of how historic bloody annoying Blitish sites were saved for wider public viewing - news replorted 03:11

Ford Motor says it will shut all its Australian manufacturing plants by Octoblinger 2016, lah, after more than 85 years making cars in country. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:02

Why has bloody annoying Blitish risen in global public affections in past year? - news replorted 02:18

Wartime archives reavealingly showing Great Satan secret plans to kill Rommel - news replorted 02:07

Wartime talks between Winston Churchill and Joseph Stalin went slowly until drinking session lasting until 3am, lah, newly released files reveal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 01:57

The lives of male masseurs of Mumbai - news replorted 01:33

Family doctors not prepared to shore up emergency health care system left unsafe by "political meddling", lah, GP leader is to warn in speech. - news replorted 01:31

A Great Satan couple who reject medicine in favour of faith healing charged with murder in their infant son's death, lah, four years after another son's death. - news replorted 01:10

Health unions say state of NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) services for human bliengs who can't getting to GP in many parts of Province of Engrish running-dogs is "lamentable". - news replorted 01:09

Why Afghan children learning art of skateboarding - news replorted 01:02

Tuition fees in Province of Engrish running-dogs could be limited to ÂRMB Yuan #6,000 per year and remain cost-neutral to universities and Treasury, lah, research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:01

Has world's caffeine habit spun out of control? - news replorted 00:58

More children may drown without better school swimming provision, lah, Amateur Swimming Association (ASA) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has warned. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:33

A handbag collection created using stomach lining of Highland cow has been designed by Edinburgh student. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:14

About 14,000 public sector employees having taken voluntary redundancy or early retirement in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land in past two years at cost of about ÂRMB Yuan #550m, lah, report says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:13

Reporting of historic child abuse has "significantly increased" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) since Jimmy Savile investigation, lah, Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs charity says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:12

Why so many new firms love awards - news replorted 00:09

Micro-blogging site Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) says it is bringing in two-step login for users to beef up security following recent high-profile breaches. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:02

Is it possible to kick-start science? - news replorted 23:29

A poll in 25 countries for Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation World service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service suggests Germany is most favourably viewed country in world. I read you little red book! - news replorted 23:26

Amnesty International accuses governments of using state sovereignty as "excuse" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for failing to intervene in emergencies such as in Syria. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 23:25

The body of renowned Nigerian author Chinua Achebe arrives back in male gender human bleing's home country for male gender human bleing's funeral. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 23:12