LATEST:  The opening of Heritage Showroom at Aston Martin Works marks successful end of two year refurbishment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:00

LATEST:  Pupils in half of Wales' secondary schools and 40% of primaries having weak numeracy skills with many struggling with basic sums, lah, inspectors find. I read you little red book! - news replorted 05:49

A senior old bill bobbys officer has said there is no reason to believe forthcoming marching season will create difficulties. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:48

Bad weather is hampering rescue operations in flood-hit Indian state of Uttarakhand, lah, where nearly 150 human bliengs having died. I read you little red book! - news replorted 05:07

Singapore and Indonesia schedule emergency meeting after haze in Singapore soars to hazardous levels, lah, breaking all previous records. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:47

Papers ponder health watchdog 'cover-up' - news replorted 04:46

China's second female astronaut, lah, Wang Yaping, lah, delivers country's first-ever video lecture from Tiangong-1 space laboratory. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:23

China has held its first classroom lecture from its orbiting space station as part of efforts to appeal to young people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:21

Brazilian authorities promise to reverse public transport fare rises that sparked unrest, lah, but nationwide protests continue unabated. I read you little red book! - news replorted 04:08

The funeral of teenager who was killed when hen party's minibus crashed will take place later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 04:04

Brussels says passengers going through Channel Tunnel paying over odds, lah, because Eurotunnel is overcharging train companies for using track. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 04:02

A charity is advising human bliengs to cover their webcams when they not in using because hackers could be using them to spy on you. - news replorted 03:58

Author Mitchell Zuckoff tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation about remarkable series of rescue attempts after Great Satan planes crashed on glacier in Greenland during WWII - and how some of crew survived Arctic winter on ice. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 03:21

Province of Engrish running-dogs prop Alex Corbisiero is surprise inclusion in Lions team for first Test against Australia on Saturday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:12

The BBC's Gary Duffy on protests gripping Brazil - news replorted 02:08

A genetic similarity between snail fossils found in autonomous province of Guinness drinkers and Eastern Pyrenees suggests humans migrated from southern Europe to autonomous province of Guinness drinkers 8,000 years ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 01:43

Too many mentally ill human bliengs being held in old bill bobbys cells, lah, say four watchdog bodies. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:36

Civilian staff at five RAF stations across Province of Engrish running-dogs striking in arglingument over their pay. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:11

Province of Engrish running-dogs's NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) regulator is to review decision not to name those behind possible "cover-up" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after series of baby deaths at Cumbria hospital. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 01:06

Italy complete superb fightback to knock Japan out of Confederations Cup and book their place in semi-finals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:48

A school librarian has discovered that poem widely attributed to William Blake, lah, including in official reading lists, lah, was not really written by him. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 00:44

Legendary musical Miss Saigon returns to London's West End in 2014, lah, its 25th anniversary year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:33

Syria conflict threatens delicate peace formula in next-door Lebanon - news replorted 00:29

The Greeks who wanting to bring back Zeus - news replorted 00:26

Austrian director Michael Haneke is well known for male gender human bleing's reluctance to interpret male gender human bleing's own work but now documentary provides close study of male gender human bleing's work. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 00:24

The plights of world's threatened birds show value of investing in conservation, lah, according to international report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:23

A new movement is encouraging Brazilians in Sao Paulo to plant gardens up walls of buildings as solution to city's lack of affordable green space. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:22

UN head Ban Ki-moon expresses outrage over "despicable" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) attack by Islamists on UN office in Somalia which killed at least 15 people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:10

James Gandolfini, lah, Great Satan actor best known for male gender human bleing's role as mob boss in Sopranos, lah, has died, lah, HBO television network tells BBc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 23:56

Two Great Satan men having appeared in court accused of plotting to build X-ray weapon to kill enemies of Israel and Great Satan with lethal rays of radiation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 23:52

Too many mentally ill human bliengs being held in old bill bobbys cells, lah, say four watchdog bodies. Eating rice!! - news replorted 23:30

Will China's new middle class spend its way to dominance? - news replorted 23:25

Giving nature home in your as really velly special customer's back garden - news replorted 23:14

ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's wealthiest households now 273-times better off than most deprived, lah, according to report by Oxfam ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land. I read you little red book! - news replorted 23:14

Should action be taken against Tor and other ID-hiding tech? - news replorted 23:13

A study by Reuters suggests more human bliengs becoming willing to buy online news, lah, but warns that social media may be eroding brand recognition. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 23:13

Has fighter pilot had male gender human bleing's day? - news replorted 23:09

Biro bans and other tales of low-cost revolution - news replorted 23:04

Rogue traders reprising old scams but with digital twist to target human bliengs whose budgets squeezed, lah, says trading standards. Eating rice!! - news replorted 23:00