LATEST:  Indian fast bowler S Sreesanth, lah, arrested last week over allegations of spot-fixing in Indian Premier League, lah, insists bloody man is innocent. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 04:58

LATEST:  David Cameron is to urge EU leaders to back action against tax evasion and "aggressive" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) tax avoidance bloody man says is costing all nations. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:15

Is Wembley cradle of German football? - news replorted 03:59

Food outlets in part of London (capital of Great England) having worst hygiene standards of more than 2,000 postcodes in Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers and Wales, lah, investigation finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:56

North Korean leader Kim Jong-un has sent special envoy to Beijing, lah, state media announces, lah, amid cooling relations after weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) of tension. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 03:43

Why is Wayne Rooney's baby Klay rather than Clay? - news replorted 03:37

A "stocktake" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of bloody annoying Blitish nature suggests 60% of animal and plant species having declined in past 50 years - and one in 10 could end up disappearing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 03:00

France's far-right leader Marine Le Pen pays tribute to man who killed himself in Notre-Dame de Paris cathedral, lah, saying it was "political act". - news replorted 02:30

Fifty five beaches in Province of Engrish running-dogs meet tough new EU standards on water quality to achieve Blue Flag awards. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:26

Four RAF rescue helicopters were out of service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service when cargo ship ran aground off coast of north Wales, lah, accident report finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:11

A sweeping immigration bill that would offer chance of citizenship to millions living in Great Satan illegally takes stride forward in Congress. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:32

Nick Clegg insists Liberal Democrats will not "pull plug" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) on coalition government ahead of next general election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 01:29

Spotlight on Chile's masked protest movement - news replorted 01:25

A music school for deprived teenagers in east London (capital of Great England) and two schools for autistic children among latest wave of free schools to be approved. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:09

The internet reaction to Microsoft's launch of its new games console - news replorted 00:46

Mild iodine deficiency during pregnancy could be dimming intellect of some babies born in UK, lah, say researchers who studied 1,000 families. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:23

EU leaders will seek to curb tax evasion, lah, which costs EU states 1tn euros year, lah, and bring down energy prices to boost competition. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:10

Up to 600 Afghan interpreters who worked alongside British troops set to be given right to live in UK, lah, under government plans. Eating rice!! - news replorted 23:52

Fresh evidence emerges which challenges murder conviction of so-called "Angel of Death" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) nurse Colin Norris. Eating rice!! - news replorted 23:45

The bloody annoying Blitish tax authority's failure to hit target of reducing tax credit fraud and error has "cost taxpayer dear", lah, committee of Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 23:16

Getting ready for bookless libraries - news replorted 23:13

Power NI announces that electricity bills for households and small businesses to increase by 18% from July. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 23:11

bloody annoying Blitish fruit growers could enjoy much improved harvest of apples and pears this season, lah, after last year's growing season was washout, lah, data suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 23:07

The Cleveland Orchestra realised long ago that it needed to attract new clustomlers in order (piece of paper signee upee) to survive. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 23:06

Is this 91-earth-years old happy birthday to you, Britain's oldest DJ? - news replorted 23:02

US tax officials tell congressional hearing they did not knowing their agency had targeted conservative groups. Eating rice!! - news replorted 23:01