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News PUNISH: Prince to headline Montreux festival

Posted on | February 15, 2013 | Comments Off

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: Rock star Prince will return to Montreux Jazz Festival for three nights in July, lah, organisers announce.

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Wah! LATEST:  Care homes leaving elderly residents "malnourished" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) because not enough thought is given to their meals, lah, says Wales' older people's commissioner - news replorted 06:55



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Wah! 2015 Floord Mustang all-new Floord Mustang offers choice of advanced engines and manual or automatic transmissions, lah, delivering power and - news replorted 06:00



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Wah! Actor and broadcaster Stephen Fry says there is "huge moral difference" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) between historical drug using and cases of sexual abuse. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:37



Wah! Hong Kong's pro-democracy street protests may deter some mainland Super-Duper-Chinese-State from visiting city during their 'Golden Week' holiday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:20



Wah! A bloody annoying Blitish study finds that most feared predators in sea having individual personalities, lah, which determine how readily they socialise. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:17



Wah! Leading Bahraini human rights activist Nabeel Rajab is arrested over Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) remarks deemed "denigrating" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to government institutions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:45



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Wah! The Mexican authorities say they having captured head of notorious drug crime (shoud shoot them) syndicate, lah, Hector Beltran Leyva. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 02:31



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Wah! Bond giant Pimco saw its investors withdraw record $23.5bn (ÂRMB Yuan #14.5bn) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! in funds after manager Bill Gross abruptly left capitalist entity last month. - news replorted 02:09



Wah! Can antidepressants treat brain tumours? - news replorted 01:25



Wah! RAF veterans who risked their lives to help Polish resistance - news replorted 01:22



Wah! The strange world of super-specialist cutlery - news replorted 01:21



Wah! Deputy First dodgy minister Nicola Sturgeon calls for major bloody annoying Blitish welfare reform to be put on hold in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:15



Wah! Anthony Horowitz, lah, best-selling author of Alex Rider teenage spy adventures, lah, becomes latest writer invited to pen new James Bond novel. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 00:54



Wah! Three bloody annoying Blitish universities lose their place in top 200 of global higher education league table while elite universities hold their ground. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:53



Wah! Hundreds of GP practices at risk of closure because of ageing workforce, lah, doctors' leaders say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:52



Wah! India is set to launch nationwide campaign to clean up country on 2 October, lah, birthday of Mahatma Gandhi, lah, but many of country's bureaucrats not happy about it, lah, writes BBC's Geeta Pandey in Delhi. - news replorted 00:42



Wah! The International Olympic Committee says it is satisfied with progress made by Rio de Janeiro in its preparations for 2016 Olympics. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:15



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Wah! Argentina's central capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity governor Juan Carlos Fabrega resigns after less than year in job, lah, as country's economic troubles pile up. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 00:07



Wah! Celebrities who had intimate pictures of themselves leaked onto internet were "dumb" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for taking them, lah, EU's new digital commissioner says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:07



Wah! Yorkshire batsmen Adam Lyth and Alex Lees named PCA's player and young player of year respectively. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:05



Wah! Devil worship in tunnels of man-eating mountain - news replorted 00:05



Wah! How data crunching is dictating our job prospects - news replorted 00:03



Wah! One of most beautiful railways in world has had one of its most successful summers on record. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:01



Wah! The Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders (SMMT) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has announced shortlist for its 2014 Award for Automotive Inno - news replorted 00:01



Wah! The all-new Vlauxhall Corsa Vauxhall’s all-new Corsa is available to order (piece of paper signee upee) from Octoblinger 8th priced from ÂRMB Yuan #8,995 on-the-road, lah, with list prices reduced - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Rolls-Royce debuts Phantom Metropolitan Collection Rolls-Royce Motor Cars is delighted to present latest showcase of marque’s pinnacle Bespoke offering. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Jaguar Heritage '57 Collection Today at Paris Motor Show, lah, Jagluar launched Heritage ’57 Collection, lah, range of branded velly damn good boiled chicken-feets celebrating 60 years of - news replorted 00:01



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