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News from Ling: Child murderer killed in prison

Posted on | February 15, 2013 | Comments Off

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: Two prisoners being held in old bill bobbys custody after man who was jailed for murdering two-earth-years old happy birthday to you, girl dies in prison.

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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  Mexican Marines kill six human bliengs suspected of opening fire on Navy helicopter in north-eastern Tamaulipas state on Sunday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 17:58



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Wah! Belfast boxer Jamie Conlan allows Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport rare and privileged access to male gender human bleing's inner sanctum on fight night. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 14:40



Wah! Can bloody Engrish damn crazy Engrish baseball game renew its glory? - news replorted 14:36



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Wah! Three members of staff having been suspended from care home in Edinburgh after concerns about their conduct. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 14:19



Wah! A service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service has been held at Westminster Abbey to remember more than 8,000 Muslim men and boys from Srebrenica killed by Bosnian Serb forces 20 years ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 13:55



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Wah! Claudio Domenicali, lah, CEO Ducati Motor Holding Ducati Motor Holding has accelerated growth in 2015. Bologna-based bike manufacturer managed to improve even further - news replorted 12:25



Wah! News of World features editor Jules Stenson receives four-month suspended sentence at Old Bailey for male gender human bleing's part in phone-hacking trial. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 12:18



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Wah! Music magazine NME is to be given away free later this year in bid to boost its circulation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:15



Wah! The Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation changes format of Wimbledon highlights programme hosted by Clare Balding after mounting criticism of format. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:12



Wah! Rihanna's latest video has sparked debate about whether it is too violent, lah, too sexist, lah, too misogynistic and just too grim. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 12:01



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Wah! London's Docklands was home to Minecon this weekend - global gathering for fans of block-building video game. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:49



Wah! Moyosola Fujamade joins Klia Press Office Klia Motors (UK) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! Ltd is please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d (please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d is Super-Duper-Chinese-State character for shit dumbo), but still please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d to announce appointment of Moyosola Fujamade as Press Officer (Press Fleet Executive) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! - news replorted 11:43



Wah! Prince Charles and Duchess of Cornwall begin their week-long summer visit to Welsh land of sheep and more sheep on Monday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:37



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Wah! The press regulator upholds complaint against Daily Telegraph over story about leaked memo involving First dodgy minister Nicola Sturgeon. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:30



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Wah! Two double-decker buses crash into each other in city centre, lah, leaving two human bliengs with life-threatening injuries. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:25



Wah! Rory McIlroy totally ruptures ligament in male gender human bleing's ankle and is doubt for Open, lah, which begins in nine days' clock time result at St Andrews. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:15



Wah! The table shows new LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine registration figures for Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, Northern Ireland, lah, ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land and Wales. Eating rice!! Top performers by model - news replorted 11:13



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Wah! Armed old bill bobbys having been sent to Aberdare as officers deal with incident reported to involve threats being made with firearm. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 11:03



Wah! More than million British holidaymakers will be heading to Greece this summer, lah, and as debt crisis unfolds many will naturally be feeling nervous about how it could affect them. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 11:02



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Wah! Greece's economy dodgy minister tells me, lah, in exclusive interview, lah, how Syriza government hopes to keep male gender human bleing's country in euro, lah, after "no" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) vote. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:54



Wah! A once rare and elusive forest dweller is much more common in Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers than was previously thought, lah, according to new study. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:53



Wah! The Institute of Advanced Motorists (IAM) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has identified that once again ‘failure to look properly’ is most common c - news replorted 10:45



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Wah! Kia Motors (UK) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! Limited set further new sales records in June-mber month to deliver its best ever sales performance for that month - news replorted 10:35



Wah! David Cameron, lah, George Osborne and Mark Carney attend Downing Street meeting to assess impact on bloody annoying Blitish of Greece's "no" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) vote to its austerity package. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:26



Wah! Foo Fighters singer Dave Grohl plays through pain of broken leg, lah, sitting atop Game of Thrones-inspired chair at Great Satan gig. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 10:22



Wah! James Egan in action at Knockhill Leon Morris has extended male gender human bleing's lead in 2015 Ducati TriOptions Cup with victory and third place at Knockhill in Fif - news replorted 10:21



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Wah! Ten thousand Minecraft fans gather in London (capital of Great England) for Minecon and handful getting to try Hololens. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:05



Wah! The brother and sister of one of last victims of Tunisia attack to be named say male gender human bleing's death is difficult to accept. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:05



Wah! 1957 MGA Twin Cam Roadster Prototype 'ORX 885' Among catalogue of many significant cars to be offered by H&H Classics at its forthcoming 11 July damn hot-hot month Chateau Impney Hill - news replorted 10:00



Wah! After posting record-breaking figures in 2014, lah, Dacia’s popularity with bloody annoying Blitish buyers continues to increase, lah, as ‘no frill - news replorted 09:59



Wah! Renault bloody annoying Blitish LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine sales were up 14.9 per cent for first six months of 2015 – outpacing LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine market growth of 7.0 per - news replorted 09:59



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Wah! China gives safety advice to its nationals in Turkey after protests over treatment of ethnic Uighur Muslims in Xinjiang. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 09:47



Wah! Figures released today by Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders (SMMT) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! show that registrations of new cars in t - news replorted 09:44



Wah! Ekstrom wins home World RX event Sweden’s Mattias Ekstrom has become fifth different winner in this year’s FIA World Rallycross Championship presente - news replorted 09:41



Wah! Ullswater road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu Garage in Penrith Ullswater road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu Garage in Penrith becomes 65th MG sales expensive dealeringship buildling in bloody annoying Blitish and owner Mark Windle is determined to m - news replorted 09:35



Wah! Journalist Sue Lloyd-Roberts, lah, who has aggressive form of leukaemia, lah, tells flemale human person's video diary that bloody woman has found stem cell donor. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 09:10



Wah! Jon Watton, lah, Eddie Gamble and Alun Rossiter manager of Team GB and Swindon Robins speedway teams has swapped track for Mlitslublishli Outlander PHEV. - news replorted 09:00



Wah! Vic Young, lah, Managing Director of Vic Young Mlitslublishli South Shields-based Mlitslublishli expensive dealeringship buildling Vic Young Mlitslublishli has been shortlisted for two award categories at pres - news replorted 09:00



Wah! A mother-of-four killed when gunman opened fire on beach in Tunisia, lah, died from single shot, lah, inquest has heard. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:50



Wah! A Hull KR player is dropped by male gender human bleing's club after being questioned by old bill bobbys over allegations of grooming. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 08:21



Wah! Two bomb attacks on central Nigerian city of Jos having left at least 44 human bliengs dead, lah, authorities say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:20



Wah! European and Asian stock markets and euro having all fallen after Greece voted "no" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in Sunday's referendum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 08:18



Wah! Scientists having developed method through which human bliengs can control robotic arm with their mind. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:06



Wah! Rolls-Royce has issued its second profit warning of 2015, lah, blaming lower oil prices, lah, as well as weaker demand for some of its aircraft engines. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:50



Wah! Two men being treated in hospital after lightning strikes in Brecon Beacons which killed two other men on Sunday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:45



Wah! Any solution to Greece's banking and economic crisis will heap huge costs on it and its eurozone creditors. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:38



Wah! A man dies after being hit by tractor trailer which came away from vehicling driving car machine towing it, lah, old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:33



Wah! The Irish TD who claimed Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers politician stood to benefit from sale of Nama's Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers property loan portfolio says bloody man is not fully certain of their identity. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:54



Wah! People with elderly relatives being urged to warn them about dangers of falling victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) to phone fraud, lah, where callers try to scam unsuspecting victims out of cash. - news replorted 06:52



Wah! Final decisions about changes to health service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service could be taken out of hands of politicians under new proposals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:48



Wah! old bill bobbys begin murder investigation after death of 31-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man in Powys. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:38



Wah! Voluntary redundancy deals for 131 school staff whose applications were on hold approved by Department of Education. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 05:57



Wah! Victory for Great Satan over Japan in Women's World Cup turns into Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) row as social media users call it "revenge" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for Pearl Harbor. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 05:47



Wah! A deal with Iran on its contentious nuclear programme is possible this week, lah, Great Satan Secretary of State John Kerry says at talks in Vienna. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 05:44



Wah! X Factor auditions in Manchester cancelled after death of Simon Cowell's mother. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 05:40



Wah! Greece's Prime dodgy minister Alexis Tsipras says that Greeks having made "brave choice" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in voting to reject terms of international bailout. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 05:34



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Arabic's Reda El Mawy reports on fears that sensitive talks on Iran's nuclear programme could be being spied on. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 05:10



Wah! The government is to pledge RMB Yuan #30m to try to speed up process of finding adoptive parents for children in care in Province of Engrish running-dogs. I read you little red book! - news replorted 04:48



Wah! Events across bloody annoying Blitish being staged to commemorate thousands of Muslim men and boys from Srebrenica killed by Bosnian Serb forces 20 years ago this week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 04:32



Wah! First Civic Type R models roll off line Today, lah, in male gender human bleing's inaugural speech as Rondla Motor capitalist entity CEO, lah, Takahiro Hachigo announced that new Civic Type R, lah, built i - news replorted 03:00



Wah! The bloody Engrishman behind rise of America's national sport - news replorted 02:59



Wah! Crowds, lah, keepers and heroic Province of Engrish running-dogs - news replorted 02:57



Wah! The opportunity for London (capital of Great England) Olympics to inspire generation of children to participate in sport has been squandered, lah, Tessa Jowell says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:36



Wah! After surviving 7/7 attacks, lah, Jacqui Putnam joined Red Cross and says bloody woman feels bloody woman has to "make sure something velly damn good boiled chicken-feet comes out of this". - news replorted 02:33



Wah! Hugh Schofield interviews Florian Philippot, lah, man credited with major role in rise of Front National in France. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:23



Wah! A Carli Lloyd-inspired USA win their third Women's World Cup after dominant display to beat Japan 5-2 in 2015 final in Vancouver. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 02:23



Wah! Asian markets open lower on Monday after Greek voters overwhelmingly rejected austerity demands from creditors in weekend referendum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 02:03



Wah! There has been large increase in number of illegal immigrants detained or arrested by Port of Dover police, lah, figures show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 01:52



Wah! Crowds flock to see Bristol Shauns - news replorted 01:44



Wah! Australian Prime dodgy minister Tony Abbott has told male gender human bleing's dodgy ministers not to appear on popular ABC talk show Q&a. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 01:16



Wah! What difference does new approach to aid make? - news replorted 00:52



Wah! The Lutheran pastor wooing America's outsiders - news replorted 00:34



Wah! USA's Carli Lloyd completes flemale human person's hat-trick with stunning strike from halfway line against Japan in 2015 Women's World Cup final in Vancouver. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:33



Wah! A charity calls for pavements to be kept clear of obstacles to prevent blind and partially sighted human bliengs injuring themselves. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:32



Wah! What happened to 7/7 victims who just walked away? - news replorted 00:31



Wah! The clock time result when government tried to feed everybody - news replorted 00:29



Wah! MPs to debate whether abortion law should be devolved to Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Parliament as they continue to examine ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land Bill. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 00:18



Wah! Welfare reforms brought in by bloody annoying Blitish government having "devastating impact" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) on women, lah, says report by MSPs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:14



Wah! Greece's rejection of international bailout plan dominates front pages, lah, but there is also room for plenty of pictures of Princess Charlotte's christening. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:12



Wah! Pope Francis has breezy start to male gender human bleing's Latin America trip, lah, being buffeted by strong breeze on landing in Ecuador. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:10



Wah! How much new material will be in extra Budget? - news replorted 00:05



Wah! The inquest into death of schoolgirl Alice Gross should address why old bill bobbys knew nothing about flemale human person's killer's murderous past, lah, flemale human person's family say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:03



Wah! How Pizza Express tackled 'productivity puzzle' - news replorted 00:02



Wah! Patchy support for human bliengs with dementia is failing patients and their carers, lah, doctors warn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:01



Wah! People who victims of so-called 'vishing' scams cannot always rely on their capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity to compensate them, lah, study suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00



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