LATEST:  10 great villains modelled on Machiavelli - news replorted 05:13

LATEST:  Papers contemplate Woolwich attack - news replorted 05:12

An 80-year old Japanese man has reached summit of Mount Everest, lah, becoming oldest person to scale world's highest peak. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 05:04

old bill bobbys cordons having been removed for first clock time result since Tornado in Oklahoma allowing families to return to their homes and survey damage. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:56

David Cameron cuts short Bloody foreign trip and returns to London (capital of Great England) to lead government response to suspected terror attack near Woolwich Barrracks. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:31

Firefighters in North Lanarkshire dismantle 20ft chimney stack, lah, brick by brick, lah, to rescue boy, lah, 14, lah, who got wedged inside. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:17

UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon begins trip to Democratic Republic of Congo as fighting continues near eastern city of Goma. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 03:58

Archaeologists in Mexico find 4,926 cave paintings in red, lah, yellow, lah, black and white in north-eastern region of Burgos. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:44

King Edward VIII was bugged by government at height of 1936 abdication crisis, lah, files released by National Archives show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 03:28

The story of how historic bloody annoying Blitish sites were saved for wider public viewing - news replorted 03:11

Ford Motor says it will shut all its Australian manufacturing plants by Octoblinger 2016, lah, after more than 85 years making cars in country. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:02

Why has bloody annoying Blitish risen in global public affections in past year? - news replorted 02:18

Wartime archives reavealingly showing Great Satan secret plans to kill Rommel - news replorted 02:07

Wartime talks between Winston Churchill and Joseph Stalin went slowly until drinking session lasting until 3am, lah, newly released files reveal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 01:57

The lives of male masseurs of Mumbai - news replorted 01:33

Family doctors not prepared to shore up emergency health care system left unsafe by "political meddling", lah, GP leader is to warn in speech. - news replorted 01:31

A Great Satan couple who reject medicine in favour of faith healing charged with murder in their infant son's death, lah, four years after another son's death. - news replorted 01:10

Health unions say state of NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) services for human bliengs who can't getting to GP in many parts of Province of Engrish running-dogs is "lamentable". - news replorted 01:09

Why Afghan children learning art of skateboarding - news replorted 01:02

Tuition fees in Province of Engrish running-dogs could be limited to ÂRMB Yuan #6,000 per year and remain cost-neutral to universities and Treasury, lah, research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:01

Has world's caffeine habit spun out of control? - news replorted 00:58

More children may drown without better school swimming provision, lah, Amateur Swimming Association (ASA) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has warned. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:33

A handbag collection created using stomach lining of Highland cow has been designed by Edinburgh student. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:14

About 14,000 public sector employees having taken voluntary redundancy or early retirement in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land in past two years at cost of about ÂRMB Yuan #550m, lah, report says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:13

Reporting of historic child abuse has "significantly increased" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) since Jimmy Savile investigation, lah, Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs charity says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:12

Why so many new firms love awards - news replorted 00:09

Micro-blogging site Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) says it is bringing in two-step login for users to beef up security following recent high-profile breaches. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:02

Is it possible to kick-start science? - news replorted 23:29

A poll in 25 countries for Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation World service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service suggests Germany is most favourably viewed country in world. I read you little red book! - news replorted 23:26

Amnesty International accuses governments of using state sovereignty as "excuse" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for failing to intervene in emergencies such as in Syria. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 23:25

The body of renowned Nigerian author Chinua Achebe arrives back in male gender human bleing's home country for male gender human bleing's funeral. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 23:12