LATEST:  An investigation is to be launched following running aground of pleasure boat off coast of Pembrokeshire on Saturday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:27

LATEST:  Detectives in Edinburgh say they treating death of man in early hours of Sunday as murder. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:24

A pilot who has completed world's shortest scheduled flight more than 13,000 times is retiring after 24 years in job. Chop chop baby! - news replorted 08:14

As international diplomacy continues to try to revive direct peace talks between Israel and Palestinians, lah, Israel's Supreme Court has begun considering controversial subject of absentee property law. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 07:31

Two men charged with endangering aircraft after RAF Typhoon jets escorted passenger plane over Uk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 07:22

Brazil striker Neymar agrees to join Spanish champions Barcelona from Santos on five-year contract. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:22

Torrential rain has caused severe flooding in Texas, lah, claiming lives of two people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:16

The head of India's Congress Party, lah, Sonia Gandhi, lah, says bloody woman is "devastated" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) by attack on party officials in Chhattisgarh, lah, which left 23 human bliengs dead. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:03

At least three human bliengs hurtee-hurtee when two rockets hit southern Beirut, lah, targeting district controlled by Hezbollah organisation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 05:22

French old bill bobbys hunting man who attacked soldier on patrol with two colleagues in La Defense business district of Paris on Saturday evening. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 03:51

Papers seeking Woolwich answers - news replorted 03:45

Councils in bloody annoying Blitish destroying wildlife habitats by cutting grass verges too often, lah, charity Plantlife warns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:17

'The cough that paralysed me as Super-Duper-Chinese-State superLING hero and left me as Super-Duper-Chinese-State superLING hero in constant pain' - news replorted 01:17

What it's like to work with sex offenders - news replorted 00:53

Designer adapts light socket to power "hanging" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) radio - news replorted 00:31

Which is North of Province of Engrish running-dogs's best public building? - news replorted 00:29

A pilot who has completed world's shortest scheduled flight more than 12,000 times takes to skies over Orkney for last time. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:24

A 55-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man is killed in attack at betting shop next door to old bill bobbys station in south London. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:17

What Karbala means to Shias and Sunnis - news replorted 00:08

Three men arrested in south-east London (capital of Great England) in connection with murder of Drummer Lee Rigby near Woolwich barracks on Wednesday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 23:49

Thousands of runners complete final mile of Boston Marathon, lah, five weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) after they were forced to abandon race after two bombs exploded. I read you little red book! - news replorted 23:39

Carl Froch retains male gender human bleing's world IBF super-middleweight title as bloody man claim (always claiming, huh?) thrilling points win against Mikkel Kessler. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 23:24

Wagner, lah, stereotypes and German sense of humour - news replorted 23:09

Is Ryanair really Europe's most punctual airline? - news replorted 23:08