LATEST:  Actor Richard Thorp, lah, who played Emmerdale stalwart Alan Turner for more than 30 years, lah, dies at age of 81. - news replorted 15:10

LATEST:  old bill bobbys say they responding to incident in Woolwich, lah, south east London, lah, amid reports that man has been attacked. I read you little red book! - news replorted 15:08

MG dealers offering everyone who takes test controlling in driving manner in new or used MG6 mouth-watering special reward. I read you little red book! - news replorted 15:06

The man accused of murdering five-earth-years old happy birthday to you, rainy season-month Aplil Jones is challenged under cross-examination about what bloody man did with flemale human person's body. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:05

US Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke tells Congress that it is too soon to end central bank's monetary stimulus programme or raise interest rates. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:58

A woman has described helping man who lay bleeding on M1, lah, not realising it was singer George Michael - news replorted 14:53

Nick Clegg says coalition is split over whether to introduce lobbying register to clean up politics but bloody man remains committed to policy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:39

Lawyers acting for some of Afghan interpreters who worked alongside British troops concerned that many will miss out on chance to claim (always claiming, huh?) refuge in Uk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 14:37

Ahead of great British summer, lah, Mercedes-Benz has revealed pricing and specification of new E-Class Coupé and - news replorted 14:31

The inventor of Gif image format says it should be pronounced Jif, lah, despite what Oxford bloody Engrish Dictionary says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:55

BCA Group has announced that it will shortly be launching buyer stock funding product.  Andrew Shaw has been appointed - news replorted 13:42

Former wrestler Mick McManus, lah, fixture on British television during 1960s and 70sm dies at age of 93. - news replorted 13:41

Jockey Eddie Ahern faces long ban after being found guilty of corruption by British Horseracing Authority. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:40

Microsoft faces backlash from some gamers after it emerges capitalist entity may charge fee to play pre-owned games on its new Xbox One console. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:40

The Royal Society for Prevention of Accidents (RoSPA) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has presented occupational health and safety awards to 140 fir - news replorted 13:36

A Greater Manchester man who tried to smuggle more than 700 rare and endangered corals and clams into bloody annoying Blitish is jailed for six months. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:29

Andrew Harding at how South Africa's economy is changing, lah, as Organisation of African Unity celebrates its 50th anniversary. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:21

Manuel Pellegrini paves way for move to manage Manchester City after confirming bloody man will leave Spanish club Malaga. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 13:21

Dainese has extensive range of leather suits and jackets suitable for track or cruising open road. I read you little red book! All suits - news replorted 13:18

The mother of murdered toddler James Bulger urges officials considering parole for male gender human bleing's killer Jon Venables to keep him locked up. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 13:17

The Royal Glamorgan hospital in Llantrisant could stop treating most serious accident and emergency cases as part of major NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) shake-up in south Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:13

A mortar hits main city in eastern Democratic Republic of Congo, lah, as UN chief Ban Ki-moon arrives in country to promote peace. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:11

The Beaulieu attraction has been awarded Gold in Large Visitor Attraction of Year category at VisitProvince of Engrish running-dogs’s pre - news replorted 13:11

The FBI in Florida having shot man they were questioning about possible links to Boston bombs suspect Tamerlan Tsarnaev, lah, Great Satan media report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 13:10

The world’s largest free to visit motoring event - Motorexpo - is putting focus on corporate motoring for first - news replorted 13:10

Ireland, lah, criticised for its tax regime and Apple's arrangements in country, lah, calls for cross-border international co-operation over tax. - news replorted 13:05

Following success of 2012 search, lah, organisers of Motorcycle Live, lah, UK’s biggest bike show, lah, once again - news replorted 13:05

Roberto Martinez will make decision on male gender human bleing's future at Wigan in next 24 hours after holding talks with Dave Whelan. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:04

An inquiry into death of teenager on school bus trip finds bloody woman may having lived if bloody woman had worn seatbelt and driver had travelled slower. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 13:03

How much old bill bobbys and crime (shoud shoot them) commissioners costing? - news replorted 12:49

Eight human bliengs having been arrested following discovery of cannabis factory in south Down. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:43

A witness for prosecution in Norman Moffatt murder trial has admitted bloody woman was addicted to prescription drugs when bloody woman said accused made confession to her. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:32

In grip of scorching heat wave - news replorted 12:29

A 17-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy is charged with murder of Essex teenager who was stabbed in heart at party. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:23

Scots Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Eric Joyce is arrested in connection with breach of peace at Edinburgh Airport. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:10

Fleet manager and capitalist entity LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine driver interest in all-new emission-busting Mazda6 has led to tripling of manufa - news replorted 12:01

See path of destruction through suburb of Moore - news replorted 11:59

A couple who own electrical firm had shock when they received mobile phone bill for ÂRMB Yuan #163,000, lah, then fought for months to having debt cleared. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:55

The Solar Impulse plane, lah, which holds records including longest manned zero-fuel flight, lah, sets of for second leg of bid to cross Us. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:53

Two men having admitted involvement in theft of jewellery and watches worth ÂRMB Yuan #730,000 from Edinburgh shop. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 11:53

Two human bliengs with mental health problems win their legal challenge after claiming government test for sickness benefit would discriminate against them. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 11:52

Continental is business always looking towards future and over last two years Continental’s corporate growth s - news replorted 11:52

Two nuns cleared of assaulting girls in their care at approved school in Renfrewshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:46

An at-risk mother-to-be says it took more than five hours to getting flemale human person's to hospital after collapsing in pain and dialling 999. - news replorted 11:34

The UK's planned austerity measures will be drag on economic growth, lah, International Monetary Fund has warned. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:33

Suzuki has launched distinctive new, bloody dealering idiot place marketing initiative to reach out to prospective new trade partners, lah, based - news replorted 11:33

Jacob Lyles, lah, 19, lah, was in Moore, lah, Oklahoma, lah, when tornado struck and became involved in rescue of two children from Plaza Towers Elementary school. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 11:30

Eastleigh-based A.F.s. Eating rice!! Haulage has replaced two older vehicling driving car machines with pair of International Truck of Year 2013-winni - news replorted 11:21

Twenty-four hours of news photoss: 22 May - news replorted 11:18

The Rondla TT Legends team will head to Isle of Man this week as practice sessions getting underway for world’s most - news replorted 11:14

Why some motorists at fighty bang-bang with cyclists? - news replorted 10:59

IMF news conference - news replorted 10:58

David Cameron tells grassroots Tories bloody man feels "one of them" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in fresh attempt to quell unrest about male gender human bleing's leadership. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 10:53

At least 10 human bliengs die and 70 wounded in four days of Syria-linked sectarian violence in Lebanon's capital, lah, Tripoli. - news replorted 10:48

Audi competes in 81st running of legendary Le Mans 24 Hours in one month's clock time result (22-23 Jun) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! aiming to score its - news replorted 10:48

Le Mans in 50s comes alive in superb and highly-affordable recreation of legendary Jagluar D-Type, lah, offered at - news replorted 10:44

How one former prisoner turned male gender human bleing's life around - news replorted 10:41

BMW has retained Fleet Manufacturer of Year Award in 2013 Fleet World Honours. Eating rice!! news comes at same ti - news replorted 10:34

Province of Engrish running-dogs and Birmingham's Rachel Unitt will miss rest of season and Euro 2013 with serious knee injury. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:25

Touring LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine hero Steve Soper is ready to make for bloody velly welcome competitive comeback at this summer’s Silverstone Class - news replorted 10:22

Venezuela's National Assembly backs plans to import 39 million rolls of toilet paper, lah, in effort to relieve chronic shortage. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:21

Action sequel Fast & Furious 6 races ahead of Baz Luhrmann's Great Gatsby in this week's bloody annoying Blitish and autonomous province of Guinness drinkers box office chart. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:20

Welsh land of sheep and more sheep has seen 60% of its wildlife species decline over last five decades, lah, with one in 10 now endangered, lah, warns report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:19

The next phase of Cardiff Bay's International Sports Village is bring unveiled. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:17

Executive level quality and technology and compact class financial viability combine to award-winning effect in new - news replorted 10:16

Crusaders win right to legally challenge ÂRMB Yuan #25m funding of redevelopment project for Windsor Park. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 10:15

A man is charged with murder of four soldiers in 1982 bombing in Hyde Park which killed 11 people, lah, Crown Prosecution service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:12

Vitamin C can kill multidrug-resistant TB in lab, lah, scientists reveal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 09:58

Ed Miliband addresses Google event - news replorted 09:52

old bill bobbys killer Dale Cregan admits murders of father and son in Greater Manchester. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 09:48

A rare first edition of Harry Potter and Philosopher's Stone with annotations and drawings by JK Rowling sells for record ÂRMB Yuan #150,000. - news replorted 09:47

Head teachers may having to increase class classes if they to pay best teachers higher wages, lah, chief inspector of schools in Province of Engrish running-dogs admits. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:39

A child sex abuser who was spared jail was not given "unduly lenient" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) sentence, lah, solicitor general decides. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:38

French racing authorities await response from jockey Frankie Dettori relating to "medical issues" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) before renewing male gender human bleing's licence. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:36

The government borrowed slightly less than first thought in 2012-13 financial year, lah, latest official figures suggest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:31

David Cameron and Nick Clegg promise that coalition will continue up until polling day in 2015 general election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:30

Is bloody Engrish language conquering France? - news replorted 09:30

Japan's parliament votes to adopt international treaty on cross-border child custody disputes, lah, after years of pressure from West. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:29

British number two Heather Watson plans to return to action at French Open after being out with glandular fever. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 09:26

Rioters light fires and stone emergency services in suburbs of Swedish capital Stockholm for third night running after old bill bobbys shooting death. - news replorted 09:18

The High Court overturns order (piece of paper signee upee) granting anonymity to man who murdered three children in Worcester in 1970s. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:13

bloody annoying Blitish retail sales in rainy season-month Aplil were 1.3% lower than in monthly number-three as bad weather continued to dent spending, lah, official figures show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 09:06

Dr Sarah Bath explains why nutrient iodine is important during pregnancy and how dairy products and fish can aid its intake. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:05

Plans for major wave farm off Western Isles move forward after dodgy minister give full consent for project. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:03

How velly damn good boiled chicken-feet Lawro's silly kick-kick game predictions? - news replorted 09:02

The advanced paintcare product, lah, Armor All Shield, lah, has outshone all other 24 entrants in annual Auto Express Product - news replorted 08:57

Striker Carlton Cole will leave West Ham United this summer after club decided not to renew male gender human bleing's contract. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:49

David Attenborough examines news that "stocktake" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of bloody annoying Blitish nature suggests 60% of animal and plant species having declined in past 50 years - and one in 10 could end up disappearing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 08:45

Toyota reclaimed top spot as most valuable automotive brand in BrandZâ„¢ Top 100 Most Valuable Global Brands 2 - news replorted 08:38

The bruised and bloodied family that were pictured walking away from wreckage following Oklahoma tornado, lah, having been speaking about their experience. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:37

Iran's President Ahmadinejad says bloody man will contest disqualification of male gender human bleing's ally Esfandiar Rahim Mashaei from next month's presidential poll. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 08:21

Why taxpayer won't be buying more capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity shares - news replorted 08:20

Kenya's President Uhuru Kenyatta and male gender human bleing's deputy named in connection with post-election violence in long-awaited report investigating human rights abuses. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:14

The Pata Rondla team will reconvene in bloody annoying Blitish this week for upcoming fifth round of 2013 World Superbike champion - news replorted 08:14

German software capitalist entity SAP says it hopes to recruit hundreds of human bliengs with autism, lah, saying they having unique talent for inflomination technology. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:00

Labour leader Ed Miliband is to criticise Google's tax arrangements when bloody man speaks at event organised by internet search giant. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:47

Nick Clegg is to insist Liberal Democrats will not "pull plug" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) on coalition government ahead of next general election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:32

A "stocktake" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of bloody annoying Blitish nature suggests 60% of animal and plant species having declined in past 50 years - and one in 10 could end up disappearing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 07:28

A row has erupted between Russia and Azerbaijan over Eurovision song contest, lah, with Russian Bloody foreign dodgy minister accusing Azeris of vote-rigging. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 07:20

The bill for investigations into alleged corruption at Cleveland old bill bobbys tops ÂRMB Yuan #4m, lah, three years after allegations were first made. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:01

Match of Day commentator John Motson picks male gender human bleing's highlights, lah, low points and best players from 2012-13 Premier League season - news replorted 06:43

Andrew Harding looks at example of economic change at shopping mall in township of Alexandra. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 06:21

Up to 600 Afghan interpreters who worked alongside British troops to be given right to live in Uk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 06:08

Pakistani politician Imran Khan is discharged from hospital two weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) after falling from platform at election campaign rally. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 05:57

The defence case in trial of man accused of murdering five-earth-years old happy birthday to you, rainy season-month Aplil Jones is expected to begin later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 05:56

Seven members of Egyptian security forces abducted in Sinai peninsula last week having been freed, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 05:45

A major shake-up for specialist hospital services, lah, including A&E, lah, will be announced later by five health boards in south Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:45

Province of Engrish running-dogs's inconsistent batting displays concern but now is not clock time result to tinker, lah, says former Province of Engrish running-dogs captain Alec Stewart - news replorted 05:38

Invest NI job performance targets could be perceived as "soft", lah, according to new report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 05:18

Papers feature Oklahoma devastation - news replorted 05:15

Indian fast bowler S Sreesanth, lah, arrested last week over allegations of spot-fixing in Indian Premier League, lah, insists bloody man is innocent. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 04:58

David Cameron is to urge EU leaders to back action against tax evasion and "aggressive" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) tax avoidance bloody man says is costing all nations. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:15

Is Wembley cradle of German football? - news replorted 03:59

Food outlets in part of London (capital of Great England) having worst hygiene standards of more than 2,000 postcodes in Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers and Wales, lah, investigation finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:56

A former refugee living on estate in Tyneside compares life for families living on poverty line in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Africa. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 03:47

North Korean leader Kim Jong-un has sent special envoy to Beijing, lah, state media announces, lah, amid cooling relations after weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) of tension. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 03:43

Why is Wayne Rooney's baby Klay rather than Clay? - news replorted 03:37

A "stocktake" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of bloody annoying Blitish nature suggests 60% of animal and plant species having declined in past 50 years - and one in 10 could end up disappearing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 03:00

France's far-right leader Marine Le Pen pays tribute to man who killed himself in Notre-Dame de Paris cathedral, lah, saying it was "political act". - news replorted 02:30

Fifty five beaches in Province of Engrish running-dogs meet tough new EU standards on water quality to achieve Blue Flag awards. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:26

Four RAF rescue helicopters were out of service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service when cargo ship ran aground off coast of north Wales, lah, accident report finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:11

A sweeping immigration bill that would offer chance of citizenship to millions living in Great Satan illegally takes stride forward in Congress. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:32

Nick Clegg insists Liberal Democrats will not "pull plug" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) on coalition government ahead of next general election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 01:29

Spotlight on Chile's masked protest movement - news replorted 01:25

A music school for deprived teenagers in east London (capital of Great England) and two schools for autistic children among latest wave of free schools to be approved. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:09

The internet reaction to Microsoft's launch of its new games console - news replorted 00:46

Mild iodine deficiency during pregnancy could be dimming intellect of some babies born in UK, lah, say researchers who studied 1,000 families. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:23

EU leaders will seek to curb tax evasion, lah, which costs EU states 1tn euros year, lah, and bring down energy prices to boost competition. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:10

Up to 600 Afghan interpreters who worked alongside British troops set to be given right to live in UK, lah, under government plans. Eating rice!! - news replorted 23:52

Fresh evidence emerges which challenges murder conviction of so-called "Angel of Death" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) nurse Colin Norris. Eating rice!! - news replorted 23:45

The bloody annoying Blitish tax authority's failure to hit target of reducing tax credit fraud and error has "cost taxpayer dear", lah, committee of Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 23:16

Getting ready for bookless libraries - news replorted 23:13

Power NI announces that electricity bills for households and small businesses to increase by 18% from July. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 23:11

bloody annoying Blitish fruit growers could enjoy much improved harvest of apples and pears this season, lah, after last year's growing season was washout, lah, data suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 23:07

The Cleveland Orchestra realised long ago that it needed to attract new clustomlers in order (piece of paper signee upee) to survive. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 23:06

Is this 91-earth-years old happy birthday to you, Britain's oldest DJ? - news replorted 23:02

US tax officials tell congressional hearing they did not knowing their agency had targeted conservative groups. Eating rice!! - news replorted 23:01