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News swallow: Cow causes delays on rush hour M8

Posted on | January 30, 2013 | Comments Off

Top Gear can’t do the news in Chinglish! An escaped cow is causing delays on M8 motorway near Glasgow Airport.

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

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Wah! LATEST:  A train capitalist entity apologises after passengers were told track delay was because someone "couldn't be bothered to live anymore". - news replorted 12:26



Wah! LATEST:  Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Labour MSP Ken Macintosh says "party machine" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) is bullying male gender human bleing's supporters in attempt to avoid leadership contest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:20



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Wah! Iraqi forces and Shia militias move to engage Islamic State militants east of Ramadi, lah, which they lost on Sunday, lah, witnesses and officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:21



Wah! A 20-earth-years old happy birthday to you, pedestrian is seriously hurtee-hurtee after being knocked down by LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine in Paisley. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:19



Wah! An American woman, lah, said to be oldest person in world, lah, is celebrating flemale human person's 116th birthday on Saturday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:45



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Wah! The UN tries to reach some 40,000 Ramadis displaced by advance of Islamic State amid reports some dying in heat. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:58



Wah! A sports bar which has attracted series of complaints from old bill bobbys and residents has its licence suspended for 10 weeks. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:44



Wah! Parents urged to help stamp out deliberate fires by keeping eye on their children during Whitsun holiday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:28



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Wah! Ballots being counted in Republic of Ireland, lah, where voters having been taking part in referendum on whether to legalise same-sex marriage. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:32



Wah! People with heart failure must be screened for signs of depression and offered counselling, lah, scientists say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:31



Wah! The Great Satan Senate blocks bill that would having ended bulk collection of phone records by National Security Agency. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:19



Wah! Wimbledon champion Petra Kvitova on flemale human person's packing routine, lah, flemale human person's recent comeback, lah, and how bloody woman approaches French Open. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:07



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Wah! A service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service is to be held later in Dunkirk to mark 75th anniversary of rescue of thousands of allied troops during World fighty bang-bang Two. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 05:09



Wah! A shoot-out on border between Mexican states of Michoacan and Jalisco leaves at least 43 human bliengs dead. I read you little red book! - news replorted 03:22



Wah! Purring spiders using leaves as microphones and speakers to transmit their purring courtship song to female, lah, scientists find. I read you little red book! - news replorted 03:07



Wah! Councils in Province of Engrish running-dogs could be forced to merge their services to speed up adoption rates, lah, under new government powers to be announced next week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 03:05



Wah! Authorities in Baghdad close key bridge, lah, stopping flow of refugees fleeing city of Ramadi captured by Islamic State militants this week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 03:00



Wah! The strange day my velly own damn father saved Harold Wilson’s life - news replorted 02:02



Wah! Julia Margaret Cameron was pioneering British photographer, lah, and should be face of ÂRMB Yuan #20 note, lah, says Will Gompertz. - news replorted 01:57



Wah! The capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of Province of Engrish running-dogs confirms it is researching financial risks of bloody annoying Blitish leaving EU after it "inadvertently" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) sent details of project to Guardian newspaper. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:46



Wah! For past year, lah, there having been reports that chemicals such as chlorine and ammonia continue to be used for attacks in Syria. Ai-yaa!!! So why is it so difficult to monitor what weapons Syria has? - news replorted 01:10



Wah! Spaniards poised to give their political masters bloody nose in bumper election year, lah, reports James Badcock. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 01:03



Wah! The Afghans who having made Kolkata their home - news replorted 01:01



Wah! Does death sentence always mean death? - news replorted 00:57



Wah! The element that made modern era gleam - news replorted 00:53



Wah! Sweden, lah, Russia and Italy among favourites to win 60th annual Eurovision Song Contest, lah, which takes place in Vienna later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:50



Wah! The "friendly" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) mother of six who killed herself in hotel - news replorted 00:46



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News followed bloody annoying Blitish Eurovision entry Electro Velvet to find out what it is like to be thrust, lah, from nowhere, lah, into gaze of Europe's showbiz media. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:06



Wah! Councils across Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep call on government to introduce ban on sale of legal highs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:02



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