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News STOOL: Murray edges battling Berankis

Posted on | January 19, 2013 | Comments Off

News translated to Chinglish! Andy Murray holds male gender human bleing’s nerve to see off tricky challenge of Lithuania’s Ricardas Berankis and reach last 16 of Australian Open.

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Wah! LATEST:  Plans to test drones at Newquay Airport in Cornwall being opposed by government, lah, according to leaked briefing note. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:42



Wah! LATEST:  Serious offences including violent and sexual crimes and persistent offenders too often given "just slap on wrist" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) with caution, lah, Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:27



Wah! The government's Prevent programme is aimed at stopping more human bliengs getting drawn towards violent extremism - but is it failing? - news replorted 04:26



Wah! US researchers build tiny electronic scaffolds using new technique aimed at merging biology with electronics. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:04



Wah! Religious and political leaders in Greater Manchester urge human bliengs to "turn their backs" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) on bloody Engrish Defence League protesters in city this weekend. I read you little red book! - news replorted 04:00



Wah! There approximately 46,000 Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) accounts operating on behalf of Islamic State, lah, new Great Satan study claims. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:56



Wah! The government should speak up in support of democracy in Hong Kong or risk damage to UK's reputation there, lah, Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:45



Wah! South Korean old bill bobbys say they seeking detention warrant for man who slashed Great Satan ambassador to South Korea on charges of attempted murder. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 03:42



Wah! Common chemicals that disrupt hormones could cost more than €150bn year in damage to health in Europe, lah, studies claim. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 03:34



Wah! Much-loved New York sheet music shop closes down - news replorted 03:33



Wah! Senior figures in Congress urge Great Satan president to send lethal defensive weapons to Ukraine in its fight against pro-Russian rebels. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:03



Wah! What's message in experimental figures on true shape of migration in Province of Engrish running-dogs? - news replorted 02:55



Wah! A major analysis by Oxford University estimates Province of Engrish running-dogs's population has risen by more than half million since 2011 due to immigration. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 02:55



Wah! Proposals to give more rights to human bliengs with learning disabilities, lah, autism and mental health conditions unveiled by government. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 02:52



Wah! Feminine titles exist and must be used by Italian MPs, lah, lower house speaker Laura Boldrini says. Eating rice!! But it is rather thorny issue, lah, BBC's Julian Miglierini reports. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:49



Wah! The first dodgy minister Nicola Sturgeon says bloody woman is "not convinced" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) by new legislation which would allow assisted suicide. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:49



Wah! Green Party Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Caroline Lucas calls for "progressive alliance" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) with SNP as flemale human person's party holds what it says is its largest ever conference. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:02



Wah! Drivers will getting 10 minutes' grace before being fined if they stay too long in council-owned LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine parks in Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, government announces. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:44



Wah! All 31 Great Satan banks having passed first hurdle in Federal Reserve's latest round of annual "stress tests" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to see how they would cope in next economic crisis. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:15



Wah! Greater Manchester is to take control of its health budget from April. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! Richard Humphries, lah, of King's Fund, lah, asks if this could be answer to NHS's problems. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:06



Wah! Sunni and Shia Muslims having co-existed in peace in bloody annoying Blitish in past, lah, says Caroline Wyatt - but there concerns about growing tensions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:05



Wah! How you tellibly lovely custlingmer make drama about dementia? - news replorted 01:01



Wah! The often strange world view of Ladybird Books - news replorted 01:01



Wah! How IS fighter's tip-off led to narrow escape for Syrian woman - news replorted 01:01



Wah! Who hasn't banned selfie sticks yet? - news replorted 01:00



Wah! The man who posted himself to other side of world - news replorted 00:58



Wah! Child TV star with Down's syndrome on life away from home - news replorted 00:50



Wah! Can right packaging change your as really velly special customer's vote? - news replorted 00:50



Wah! In next few hours, lah, American space agency's Dawn satellite will go into orbit around Ceres, lah, largest object in Solar System between Mars and Jupiter. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:34



Wah! Science is being squeezed out of bloody Engrish primary schools, lah, with third not providing recommended two hours of teaching week, lah, research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:34



Wah! The four-hour waiting clock time result target for NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) accident and emergency units across bloody annoying Blitish should be downgraded as it is distorting priorities, lah, experts say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:28



Wah! The government needs to work out how driverless cars will be introduced onto bloody annoying Blitish roads, lah, influential group of Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters has said. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:02



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