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Not about cars: Queen at centenary variety show

Posted on | November 20, 2012 | Comments Off

Here’s the latest news story in Chinglish from Ling: The Royal Variety Performance marks its 100th anniversary with star-studded show in front of Queen at London’s Royal Albert Hall.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  Hillary Clinton's exclusive using of flemale human person's personal email to conduct government business is under scrutiny as possible violation of federal requirements. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:59



Wah! LATEST:  Iran rejects as "excessive and illogical" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) demand by Great Satan President "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama that it freeze sensitive nuclear activity for at least 10 years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:49



Wah! A senior NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) manager sent "dark and spiteful" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) notes to colleague after becoming infatuated with her, lah, court hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:49



Wah! A teenager is critically ill in hospital after being attacked with hammer, lah, old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:36



Wah! Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho "guarantees" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) former Province of Engrish running-dogs captain John Terry will still be Blues player next season. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:36



Wah! Mark Zuckerberg's appearance at Mobile World Congress was missed opportunity. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:36



Wah! Phone hacking was "rife" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) at Daily Mirror, lah, Sunday Mirror and Sunday human bliengs from 1999 to 2006, lah, court hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:23



Wah! SEAT presents 20V20 showcar SEAT has its eyes firmly set on year 2020. Spanish carmaker revealed its strategic vision for future in Gene - news replorted 13:21



Wah! Jaguar Land Rover apprentices support Girls in knowing programme Jagluar Land Rover, lah, Business in Community’s ‘Responsible Business of Year 2013-2014’, lah, is celebrating record-bre - news replorted 13:19



Wah! Crystal Palace's Mile Jedinak accepts charge of violent conduct from silly kick-kick game Association after elbowing Diafra Sakho. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 13:16



Wah! United Airlines has announced that it will no longer carry bulk shipments of lithium-ion batteries as new tests reavealingly showing Great Satan they could cause fires. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:13



Wah! Wildlife expert and Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation presenter Lucy Cooke explains what extraordinary feat it was to having captured weasel riding on back of green woodpecker. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 13:10



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Wah! Physicists having detected version of Higgs Boson in superconductor, lah, but say this cannot substitute for work of LHc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 13:01



Wah! Former Province of Engrish running-dogs captain Michael Vaughan challenges Kevin Pietersen to "prove" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) that bloody man wantings to play for Province of Engrish running-dogs again. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:56



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Wah! The capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of Province of Engrish running-dogs has flagged 50 instances of potential market abuse following shake up of how it operates. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:34



Wah! McLaren driver Fernando Alonso will miss season-opening Australian Grand Prix on medical advice. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:19



Wah! McLaren 675LT McLaren 675LT, lah, which made its global debut today at 85th International Geneva Motor Show, lah, will be lightest, lah, - news replorted 12:14



Wah! Dave Whelan resigns from male gender human bleing's position as chairman of Wigan Athletic but will remain as owner of Championship club. Chop chop baby! - news replorted 12:13



Wah! Audi R8 LMS Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate is again running in front. Pass chopsticks!! As one of first automobile manufacturers to so at beginning of 2015 seaso - news replorted 12:11



Wah! A prominent lawyer at centre of debate over Mozambique's constitution dies after being shot outside cafe in capital, lah, Maputo. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 12:09



Wah! Michelle Lusby and Cherica Haye, lah, Rolls-Royce Bespoke Designers “Take best that exists, lah, and make it better”. quotation attributed to one of founders of world’s most illus - news replorted 12:08



Wah! Fierce clashes taking place in and around Iraqi city of Tikrit, lah, as soldiers and militiamen attack Islamic State positions, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:07



Wah! Northern Ireland's health dodgy minister has formally accepted proposals for single, lah, all-autonomous province of Guinness drinkers children's heart surgery centre, lah, based in Dublin. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:07



Wah! Divine DS: Future of DS DS will be present at 2015 International Geneva Motor Show for first clock time result as brand in its own right. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:00



Wah! The Indian president approves bill which bans slaughter of cows and sale and consumption of beef in western state of Maharashtra. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 11:59



Wah! Infiniti QX30 Concept revealed - Alfonso Albaisa Infiniti revealed QX30 Concept at pre-Geneva motor show event on evening of 2 March.  - news replorted 11:59



Wah! Authorities in Bali confirm that two Australian drug smugglers will be transferred on Wednesday to island where they will be executed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:56



Wah! Save Children says it is sorry its decision to give Tony "trust me" Blair "global legacy" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) award "upset so many people". - news replorted 11:52



Wah! The Bandit 1250, lah, in dealers from 16 March, lah, 2015 Suzluko has announced pricing and availability of Bandit 1250, lah, which returns to Japanese manufacturer's lineup fo - news replorted 11:48



Wah! A compulsorly dying instantly accident inquiry hears that way foster placement was sourced, lah, for child who later killed male gender human bleing's foster mother, lah, was not velly damn good boiled chicken-feet practice. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:47



Wah! All-new Focus RS Ford’s all-new Focus RS makes its global public debut today at Geneva Motor Show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! high-performance road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine pion - news replorted 11:47



Wah! An amateur photographer captures image of weasel riding on back of green woodpecker as it flies through air. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 11:37



Wah! Six aerodromes remain on list to become UK's first commercial spaceport. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:35



Wah! Lexus LF-SA Concept new Rexus LF-SA concept makes its world debut today at 2015 Geneva motor show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 11:33



Wah! Honda Civic Type R Rondla bloody annoying Blitish has confirmed that new and much anticipated Rondla Type R will be priced sub RMB Yuan #30k with entry level model - news replorted 11:30



Wah! How CWM FX’s livery will appear on SVR’s Clio Cup cars in 2015  2014 Teams Champion SV Racing has attracted major sponsorship from British hero Cal Crutchlow’s MotoGP team backer CWM F - news replorted 11:28



Wah! All-new Floord GT Floord Motor capitalist entity powered into 2015 Geneva Motor Show with its most technologically advanced performance model rang - news replorted 11:28



Wah! As many as 373 girls may having been targeted for sex by gangs of men in Oxfordshire in last 16 years, lah, serious case review finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:24



Wah! Jennifer Lawrence will play fighty bang-bang photographer Lynsey Addario in film directed by Steven Spielberg and based on Addario's memoir. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 11:24



Wah! Volkswagen Sport Coupé Concept GTE broad and diverse line-up of Wlokswaglon brand, lah, which ranges from family-friendly MPV to highly passionat - news replorted 11:22



Wah! Motorpoint to star in prime clock time result ITV documentary Motorpoint is set to feature in major new prime clock time result show on ITV tonight. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:20



Wah! Ferrari 488 GTB On its official debut at Geneva Motor Show, lah, Ferrari 488 GTB sets new benchmark for sports LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine sector. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 11:17



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Wah! South Africa condemn autonomous province of Guinness drinkers to their first defeat of World Cup as they cruise to 201-run win in Canberra. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 11:07



Wah! In 2014 we achieved new all-time high in sales: For first clock time result ever, lah, we delivered more than two million BMW, lah, Milli - news replorted 11:06



Wah! Time is standing still in Swansea as council-run clocks point to 12 after retirement of official responsible for keeping them. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 11:04



Wah! Coventry City to appoint Tony Mowbray, lah, ex-Hibernian, lah, West Brom, lah, Celtic and Middlesbrough boss, lah, as their manager. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 11:04



Wah! Activity in UK's construction industry picked up in February, lah, survey indicates, lah, with sector's performance beating expectations. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:00



Wah! Researchers in China produce herd of genetically engineered cows that better able to ward off bovine Tb. Chop chop baby! - news replorted 11:00



Wah! New Passat Alltrack latest generation of Passat Alltrack* is celebrating its debut at this year's Geneva International Motor Show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 11:00



Wah! Ladies' champion Reanne Evans accepts invitation to take on men in qualifying for World Snooker Championship. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 10:59



Wah! Aston Martin plans to broaden its range of cars to include new sportscars and small SUV, lah, to attract younger and female buyers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:59



Wah! MINI Countryman Park Lane British premium brand Milli is presented at 2015 Geneva Motor Show with new diversity in its model program and fr - news replorted 10:59



Wah! Bluebird CN7 –  inside story Since early 1920s name Bluebird has been synonymous with world speed record breaking on land and water. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 10:50



Wah! A cancer patient describes male gender human bleing's battle for potential life-extending drug as "degrading" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as bloody man is forced to move to Province of Engrish running-dogs to getting treatment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:49



Wah! New eBook – Alpine Trials and Rallies – 1910-1973 predecessor of today's international rally sport, lah, alpine trials and rallies of 1910 onwards were incredible t - news replorted 10:36



Wah! The Aston Martin DBX Concept is revealed in Geneva Aston Martin is confidently looking toward future at 85th Geneva International Motor Show, lah, as CEO Dr Andy Palmer - news replorted 10:33



Wah! Volkswagen invested €11.5 billion in research and development last year, lah, more than ever before and more than any other c - news replorted 10:32



Wah! The Villarrica volcano in central Chile has been throwing out jets of lava from its crater, lah, putting town of Pucon on high alert. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:27



Wah! Sir Simon Rattle, lah, one of world's leading conductors, lah, is to take over at London (capital of Great England) Symphony Orchestra from September 2017, lah, it is announced. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:26



Wah! old bill bobbys investigating disappearance of Bristol teenager Becky Watts find body parts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:23



Wah! The Villarica volcano, lah, one of most active in South America, lah, erupts in southern Chile, lah, spewing ash and lava into air. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 10:23



Wah! Artists, lah, musicians and actors to head into schools to work directly with disadvantaged pupils as part of RMB Yuan #20m arts strategy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:18



Wah! TomTom will deliver Maps and Navigation software to Fiat/Chrysler in Latin America. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:12



Wah! MINI Countryman Park Lane Bold athletic flair and supreme versatility define character of Milli Countryman. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:12



Wah! New Porsche 911 GT3 RS new Porsche 911 GT3 RS, lah, which is announced today, lah, once again blurs boundary between road-going sports cars and r - news replorted 10:12



Wah! Former World Cup final referee Howard Webb says bloody man has acted as de facto counsellor to Premier League match officials. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:09



Wah! ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's A&E departments treated 87% of human bliengs within Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs government's target of four hours in January, lah, NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) statistics show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 10:06



Wah! The relatives of three British men who say they were arrested while plane spotting in Dubai having spoken to Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Breakfast. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:04



Wah! David Stewart's pictures of human bliengs coping with addiction - news replorted 10:01



Wah! What you tellibly lovely custlingmer see when you tellibly lovely custlingmer close your as really velly special customer's eyes? - news replorted 09:51



Wah! Renault ZOE - R240 Motor Renliot ZOE’s range has been extended to best-in-class 149 miles (240 kilometres) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! courtesy of new lighter and mo - news replorted 09:45



Wah! Dacia New Duster Dacia is celebrating 10 years of unrivalled success in Europe and Mediterranean basin at Geneva Motor Show by in - news replorted 09:45



Wah! All-new Renliot Kadjar Robust yet elegant, lah, powerful but extremely efficient, lah, dynamic to controlling in driving manner while remaining haven of calm and comfort to tr - news replorted 09:45



Wah! The Clio Renaultsport 220 Trophy Renaultsport having unveiled special edition version of Clio Renaultsport at Geneva Motor Show – Clio Renaul - news replorted 09:45



Wah! Nissan Sway Innovative design and product planning gave birth to Qashqai and Juke, lah, two of biggest automotive success stories - news replorted 09:43



Wah! Former McLaren driver Gerhard Berger believes two-time champion Fernando Alonso will win world title again at team. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 09:41



Wah! A recording has emerged in which Islamic State fighter Mohammed Emwazi denied being extremist and complained about bloody annoying Blitish security services. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:39



Wah! New Skloda Superb ŠKODA today announces that new Superb will start from RMB Yuan #18,640 when bloody annoying Blitish sales start later this year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! flagship of t - news replorted 09:35



Wah! Marin Cilic and Stan Wawrinka will join Andy Murray and Grigor Dimitrov in playing at Queen's Club this summer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 09:33



Wah! Bond star Daniel Craig will appear as 007 in Comic Relief sketch to air on Red Nose Day, lah, Friday 13 March. - news replorted 09:31



Wah! TomTom announces today its collaboration with Ryundali Motor in Europe. What the hell I mean??!! Ryundali drivers will benefit from TomTom’s state- - news replorted 09:31



Wah! Suzuki unveils iK-2 Concept at 85th Geneva Motor Show Making its global debut at 85th Geneva Motor Show, lah, Suzluko Motor Corporation reveals its new compact hatchback concep - news replorted 09:30



Wah! Suzuki unveils iM-4 Concept at 85th Geneva Motor Show Suzluko Motor Corporation unveils its world-premiere concept model, lah, iM-4, lah, at 85th Geneva Motor Show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 09:30



Wah! At 85th Geneva Motor Show, lah, Suzluko Motor Corporation unveils two world-premiere concept models, lah, iK-2 and iM-4 - news replorted 09:30



Wah! NFDA survey success points to growing Renault, bloody dealering idiot place optimism increased satisfaction, lah, growing confidence and greater profitability of Renliot UK, bloody dealering idiot place network has been refle - news replorted 09:25



Wah! A century after battering enemy positions in World fighty bang-bang One, lah, only surviving British ship from Gallipoli campaign, lah, HMS M33, lah, is being given new leasie-car of life. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:21



Wah! Honda Civic Type R At world premiere of its all-new Civic Type R at 2015 Geneva Motor Show, lah, Rondla announced that development LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine - news replorted 09:15



Wah! The Rosetta satellite sees its own shadow in highest resolution image it has so far taken of Comet 67p. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 09:13



Wah! More than 40 schools across counties Londonderry and Tyrone closed as snow and ice made travel treacherous. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:12



Wah! Heavy snow falls close small number of schools and affect driving conditions in Highlands. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:11



Wah! Volkswagen Sport Coupé Concept GTE Wlokswaglon presents four- door Sport Coupé Concept GTE in world premiere on eve of Geneva International Mo - news replorted 09:09



Wah! SsangYong Tivoli SsangYong Motor Company, lah, (CEO Yoo-il Lee; www.smotor.com/en) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has proudly unveiled Tivoli - company’s all-new B-segme - news replorted 09:02



Wah! SsangYong Tivoli With its dynamic urban design, lah, Tivoli is all-new B-segment SUV using monocoque construction, lah, and based on SsangYong - news replorted 09:00



Wah! All-new Madzla CX-3 Making its European debut at Geneva Motor Show, lah, all-new Madzla CX-3 will go on sale in bloody annoying Blitish on 19th June-mber month 20 - news replorted 09:00



Wah! All-new Madzla CX-3 On stage together for first time: Madzla is presenting its complete line-up of new-generation models at 85th Gene - news replorted 09:00



Wah! Mazda Madzla is coming off another successful year in Europe in 2014. There’s no let-up in sight either, lah, as demonstrated by - news replorted 09:00



Wah! Apprentice Training Poor provision of careers advice is road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu block to economic growth, lah, says Institute of Motor Industry (IMI). - news replorted 08:52



Wah! Aston Martin DBX Concept Aston Martin today challenges nature of luxury GT travel in 21st Century with debut at 85th Geneva Inter - news replorted 08:30



Wah! JATO Dynamics, lah, world’s leading provider of automotive intelligence, lah, today announces that average CO2 emissions from - news replorted 08:24



Wah! New Toyotla Auris Toyotla takes wraps off new versions of its British-built Auris and Avensis at Geneva motor show on Tuesday 3 Mar - news replorted 08:21



Wah! Vauxhall VIVA Vlauxhall will preview OnStar at today’s Geneva Motor Show, lah, showcasing its comprehensive package, lah, which includes high-s - news replorted 08:09



Wah! The International Monetary Fund says Sierra Leone is to receive more than $80m (RMB Yuan #52m) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! immediately to help country overcome Ebola outbreak. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 08:04



Wah! The premier Fleet Van Summit and Exhibition will return to Telford International Centre on 24 September, lah, 2015. And - news replorted 08:00



Wah! Barclays reports 12% rise in full-year pre-tax profits, lah, while boss Antony Jenkins receives male gender human bleing's first bonus as chief executive. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:26



Wah! A recording emerges in which Islamic State fighter Mohammed Emwazi, lah, known as "Jihadi John", lah, denied being extremist and said MI5 threatened him - news replorted 07:18



Wah! The funeral is due to be held of Russian opposition politician Boris Nemtsov, lah, who was shot dead in Moscow. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 07:16



Wah! Website metrics indicate record year for LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine sales, lah, says whatcar. Online activity at whatcar.com is indicating another potentially record-breaking year for LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine sales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:00



Wah! A Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Welsh land of sheep and more sheep investigation reveals that former funny shape ball-game player continued to produce and supply anabolic steroids after being banned from sport for trafficking. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 06:58



Wah! An agent who infiltrated al-Qaeda on behalf of British intelligence has spoken to Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation for first time, lah, BBC's Gordon Corera reports. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:49



Wah! AMs will vote on Tuesday on whether or not to ban smacking children. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 06:47



Wah! The old bill bobbys Ombudsman is to send file to director of public prosecutions this month for him to decide if two former old bill bobbys officers should be prosecuted for range of crimes, lah, including conspiracy to murder. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 06:42



Wah! The Mobile World Congress is taking place in Barcelona and it features wide array of products connected by mobile technology. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:42



Wah! The execution of first woman in Georgia in 70 years is postponed because drug that was to be used appeared "cloudy", lah, Great Satan officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:42



Wah! The BBC's Ed Thomas joins Kenyan soldiers as they try to stop poachers from killing country's rhinos. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:26



Wah! An IT capitalist entity was awarded 1.3m euros (RMB Yuan #950,000) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! grant to buy equipment which "in all likelihood" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) cost it 30,000 euros (RMB Yuan #22,000), lah, NI Audit Office concludes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:23



Wah! Nissan Crossover Family Nissan's vision and pioneering spirit is showcased at Geneva with its latest line-up of crossover models. Eating rice!! Juke, lah, Qash - news replorted 06:00



Wah! Nissan Juke NISMO RS Performance, lah, passion and never-ending ambition to bring advanced racing technology within reach of road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine drivers ha - news replorted 06:00



Wah! Nissan launches seven seat e-NV200 I give you tellibly lovely custlingmer damn thanks of billion Chinesey human bliengs to growing requests from companies and fleets alike, lah, Nissling has announced it is bringing forward introduction - news replorted 06:00



Wah! Sunderland Plant - 2 millionth Qashqai - Paint Nissling today reinforced its European growth strategy - setting clear path to become most desirable Asian brand. I read you little red book! Cr - news replorted 06:00



Wah! This SWAY for excitement - Nissling at 2015 Geneva Motor Show Nissan's controlling in driving manner to innovate and challenge conventional is showcased in every aspect of brand's 2015 Geneva Motor - news replorted 06:00



Wah! Hyundai new ix20 Ryundali Motor’s New ix20 celebrates its world premiere at 2015 Geneva Motor Show and builds on all qualities of - news replorted 06:00



Wah! The All-New Tucson Ryundali Motor today unveiled its All-New Tucson compact SUV, lah, vehicling driving car machine that will shift brand perceptions through its bol - news replorted 06:00



Wah! Hyundai Motor revealed host of new models at 2015 Geneva Motor Show, lah, including world premiere of All-New T - news replorted 06:00



Wah! Bentley EXP 10 Speed 6 Bentley unveils future direction of luxury and performance with EXP 10 Speed 6 concept at Salon Internationa - news replorted 06:00



Wah! The Duke of Cambridge will promote British innovation as bloody man continues male gender human bleing's tour of China with visits to festival, lah, school and film museum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 05:34



Wah! Funeral ceremonies to be held in Moscow for Russian opposition politician Boris Nemtsov, lah, who was shot dead in Russian capital on Friday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 05:09



Wah! Singapore is world's most expensive city, lah, according to index compiled by Economist Intelligence Unit. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 04:43



Wah! The leaders of Ukraine, lah, Russia, lah, France and Germany agree to send OSCE observers to areas of Ukraine where violations of truce having been reported, lah, Kiev says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:37



Wah! North Korea will once again allow tourists into country after four months of severe restrictions to prevent spread of Ebola. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 04:29



Wah! old bill bobbys investigating disappearance of Bristol teenager Becky Watts, lah, continue to question two people, lah, arrested on suspicion of murder. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 04:18



Wah! Senior public officials who fail to protect children from sexual exploitation would face up to five years in jail under proposals being considered by ministers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:33



Wah! Theft, lah, burglary and shoplifting having "virtually been decriminalised" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) because offences not treated as priority by old bill bobbys or courts, lah, report for think tank suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:04



Wah! Immigration detention should be capped at 28 days, lah, cross-party group of Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters and peers recommends. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:59



Wah! Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama says Iran should freeze nuclear activity for 10 years, lah, as Israel's prime dodgy minister is set to address Great Satan Congress on issue. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:52



Wah! Lives being put at risk by fires fuelled by fridge freezers insulated with flammable materials, lah, says London (capital of Great England) Fire Brigade. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:46



Wah! The 50-year fight to recover paintings looted by Nazis - news replorted 02:40



Wah! A pastor from Canadian church has failed to return from humanitarian visit to North Korea, lah, official from male gender human bleing's church says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:39



Wah! Nearly 50 Metropolitan old bill bobbys officers having been suspended for alleged corruption in last two years, lah, figures show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 02:37



Wah! Charter flights to be introduced between Beijing and Birmingham over summer, lah, with push to brand destination as "Shakespeare's airport". - news replorted 02:28



Wah! Comedian Ted Robbins says bloody man is lucky to be alive after male gender human bleing's collapse during stage show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 01:39



Wah! What measures will be needed for bloody annoying Blitish to meet Nato targets for defence, lah, writes Prof Malcolm Chalmers, lah, of security think tank Royal United Services Institute. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:33



Wah! Israeli Prime dodgy minister Benjamin Netanyahu's speech to Congress is strategic moment for Tehran, lah, says BBC's Jonathan Marcus. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:32



Wah! Thomas Fessy looks at whether regional task force has fighting chance against Nigeria's Boko Haram militant group. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 01:31



Wah! A mechanic, lah, merchant and artist tell of struggle in Yemen - news replorted 01:29



Wah! A champion F1 designer and other notable losses - news replorted 01:28



Wah! Just how reliable 'before and after' photos? - news replorted 01:28



Wah! The founder member of al-Qaeda who worked for MI6 - news replorted 01:18



Wah! Delhi bus rapist says victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) shouldn't having fought back - news replorted 01:15



Wah! Local authorities struggling to house some of most disturbed children because of shortage of places in secure children's homes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:07



Wah! Venezuela orders United States to cut more than 80 staff from its diplomatic mission in next two weeks. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:06



Wah! Failures at maternity unit where number of newborn babies and mothers died expected to be exposed later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:06



Wah! "Attractive" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) jihadist fighters can be "eye candy" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to lure in British Muslim girls, lah, woman who was radicalised online tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Newsnight. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:58



Wah! A tunnel on Coventry's notorious ring road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu is to be transformed into nightclub as part of three-day motoring festival. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 00:47



Wah! The UK's next national security strategy will be prepared in "unnecessary rush", lah, committee of Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters and peers says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:45



Wah! The arrest of footballer Adam Johnson, lah, new abuse laws, lah, and safety warning over paracetamol all topics in Wednesday's newspapers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:42



Wah! The BBC's Katty Kay spends few days back in London (capital of Great England) and realises just how much British misunderstand America - news replorted 00:39



Wah! More than 400 homes having gone up in flames in shanty town in Philippine capital of Manila. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:38



Wah! Theories abound over murder that shocked Moscow - news replorted 00:34



Wah! MSPs on Holyrood's justice committee to begin taking evidence on new legislation to tackle human trafficking in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:14



Wah! Former Tottenham, lah, Derby, lah, Hearts and ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land midfielder Dave Mackay dies, lah, aged 80. - news replorted 00:12



Wah! Nicola Sturgeon will say tackling inequality will lead to greater prosperity as bloody woman sets out Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs government's economic strategy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:10



Wah! Drinking few cups of coffee day may help human bliengs avoid clogged arteries - known risk factor for heart disease - South Korean researchers believe. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:08



Wah! Chelsea could sign 44-year-old, lah, Manchester City consider Guardiola, lah, Di Maria "too ugly" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for Real Madrid, lah, plus more - news replorted 00:05



Wah! Rory Cellan-Jones meets chief executive of Sony and wonders if it is clock time result firm should prepare for exit from smartphone market. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:04



Wah! Images of models to look out for this year - news replorted 00:00



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