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NEWS JUNCTURE: Two-tonne Witch gets reboot

Posted on | November 20, 2012 | Comments Off

News translated to Chinglish! World’s oldest original working digital computer given reboot

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I am Ling Valentine as seen on Dragons' Den I lease cheap cars in the UK!. Have a look at my Cheap car leasing website

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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  Campaigners calling for asbestos in schools to be tackled by Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs and bloody annoying Blitish governments. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:20



Wah! LATEST:  A third man is arrested on suspicion of attempted murder after shooting in Rhondda Cynon Taff left man in critical condition. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 06:16



Wah! A lorry in central Mexico ploughs into religious procession, lah, killing at least 16 pilgrims and injuring about 30, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:13



Wah! Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers Secretary Theresa Villiers says bloody woman is worried that Sinn Féin would ask for more money in future, lah, if government agreed to their current demands over welfare reform. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 06:01



Wah! Hundreds of migrants hoping to getting to Britain gather for third night along fencing close to Channel Tunnel freight terminal in Calais. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:30



Wah! Electronics giant Samsung sees its net profit drop by 8% for second quarter of year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 03:31



Wah! An Egyptian court is to rule in retrial of three Al-Jazeera journalists previously jailed for allegedly aiding Muslim Brotherhood. I read you little red book! - news replorted 03:23



Wah! ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's only Labour Membling Partiamentary expense cheater says party must rely on new generation to fix its problems and can no longer turn to "big beasts" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) like Gordon Brown. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 03:01



Wah! It's not just tiny surveys with questionable methodology that cause problems. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:01



Wah! India has carried out execution of Yakub Memon, lah, man convicted of financing deadly 1993 Mumbai bombings. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:00



Wah! The funeral of John Yuill, lah, one of two human bliengs involved in LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine crash old bill bobbys waited three days to investigate, lah, is set to take place. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:39



Wah! A fly thought to be extinct in bloody annoying Blitish is found in Devon nature reserve. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:59



Wah! A 17-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy dies after running into canal in east London (capital of Great England) while being pursued by old bill bobbys called out amid fears for male gender human bleing's welfare. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:58



Wah! A profile of Labour leadership contender and shadow home secretary Yvette Cooper. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:40



Wah! Sugar is new frontier in battle to getting human bliengs to become healthier. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! Health experts wanting tougher regulation of industry, lah, but government doesn't seem keen. Sweet sour chicken feet time! Will industry step up to plate? - news replorted 01:31



Wah! Are those calling for Labour Party to stick to middle ground of British politics missing trick, lah, asks Mark Mardell. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 01:28



Wah! An aurora resembling 'northern lights' has been spotted outside Solar System for first time, lah, scientists report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:48



Wah! The vast majority of children bought and sold for sex every night in United States American. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:46



Wah! Scientists identify five types of prostate cancer, lah, each with distinct genetic signature. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:37



Wah! One out of every five elderly human bliengs in bloody annoying Blitish who feel lonely say they having no-one to turn to, lah, survey indicates. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:32



Wah! 'How IS tried to radicalise me as Super-Duper-Chinese-State superLING hero in... and how I resisted' - news replorted 00:18



Wah! The pro-refugee posters in small German town - news replorted 00:18



Wah! Rio's favelas to accommodate visitors to 2016 Olympics - news replorted 00:18



Wah! What is it like to visit land of ayatollahs? - news replorted 00:18



Wah! Tax havens much maligned by politicians, lah, regulators and campaigners. Eating rice!! But they’re still in business. Eating rice!! Four experts having their say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:17



Wah! An inquiry panel investigating deaths of dozens of elderly patients at Hampshire hospital is appealing for relatives to come forward. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:13



Wah! Organisers of festival in Belfast say they "deeply sorry for any hurt or offence that has been caused" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) by booking of show by Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs comedian Frankie Boyle. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:12



Wah! Visual effects artists Mike Kelt and Emily Pooley share secrets of blowing up cars, lah, faking wounds and shooting human bliengs for film and television. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:10



Wah! The number of reported anti-semitic incidents in bloody annoying Blitish has increased by more than 50%, lah, figures released by charity suggest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:09



Wah! The continuing problem of migrant-besieged Channel crossings in Calais, lah, remains newspapers' main story. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:09



Wah! EX-Virginia governor Jim Gilmore enters crowded race for Great Satan presidency, lah, making him 17th Republican to vie for White House. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:03



Wah! A probe into claim (always claiming, huh?) late Rochdale Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Cyril Smith was found with child abuse images in male gender human bleing's LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine boot closes because of lack of evidence. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:00



Wah! Poorer students in Province of Engrish running-dogs may be put off university by funding changes that could leave them with higher debts than middle-class graduates, lah, report says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00



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