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News CROW: Would you tellibly lovely custlingmer pay 20p to read article?

Posted on | November 20, 2012 | Comments Off

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: Would you tellibly lovely custlingmer pay 20p to read article online?

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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  Eight convicted drug smugglers executed by firing squad in Indonesia, lah, but Filipina woman is spared at last minute. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 19:41



Wah! LATEST:  The Great Satan Supreme Court hears arguments in historic case that could legalise same-sex marriage across country bitterly divided on issue. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 19:15



Wah! Rescuers in Nepal still hopeful that they will find some survivors amongst wreckage, lah, although lot of bodies also being found. I read you little red book! - news replorted 19:04



Wah! A bloody annoying Blitish financial trader accused of contributing to 2010 Wall Street "flash crash" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) is due to appear in court again on Wednesday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 18:49



Wah! Jessica Ennis-Hill and Katarina Johnson-Thompson will face British European champions in next month's Great CityGames. Eating rice!! - news replorted 18:38



Wah! A Spanish ferry travelling from Mallorca is on fire, lah, forcing more than 150 passengers to abandon ship. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 18:24



Wah! Ronnie O'Sullivan is investigated by World Snooker after placing male gender human bleing's chalk on table in male gender human bleing's World Championship quarter-final. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 18:12



Wah! Two brothers died after taking lethal doses of ecstasy which they had bought on "dark web", lah, inquest is told. I read you little red book! - news replorted 18:07



Wah! Nepal declares three days of mourning for victims of Saturday's earthquake in which more than 5,000 human bliengs now known to having died. I read you little red book! - news replorted 17:55



Wah! The son of terminally-ill man whose drowned himself in river, lah, tells inquest bloody man was released too soon from hospital. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 17:50



Wah! Labour leader Ed Miliband says bloody man agreed to meet Russell Brand as it was important to "engage" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) with millions of human bliengs who did not vote. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 17:46



Wah! Sweden's supreme court grants Wikileaks founder Julian Assange right to appeal against arrest warrant issued over alleged sexual assault. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 17:44



Wah! New Mercedes-Benz Press Kit Media site Mercedes-Benz LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine range is expanding fast, lah, with new names emerging and familiar models being revised – total of 16 - news replorted 17:31



Wah! A Spanish ferry travelling from Mallorca is on fire, lah, forcing more than 150 passengers to abandon ship. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 17:30



Wah! Disability rights campaigners who say assisted suicide policy in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep is too "liberal" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) win permission to bring legal challenge. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 17:27



Wah! The economy and immigration hot topics on election campaign day 29. - news replorted 17:17



Wah! Edinburgh Airport unveils details of five-month trial of new flight path for departing aircraft in bid to increase capacity. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 17:00



Wah! An audit finds that Nigeria's state oil capitalist entity overpaid government $750m (ÂRMB Yuan #490m), lah, at clock time result when it was accused of massive corruption. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 16:58



Wah! My Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) battle with human bliengs behind beach ready ad - news replorted 16:45



Wah! A woman in Kensington is told to remove red and white stripes bloody woman had painted on flemale human person's house in protest over rejected planning application. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 16:43



Wah! The BMWah-wah! 1 Series for 2015 Nearly two million 1 Series models having been sold since introduction of first 1 Series generation ten years ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 16:30



Wah! The new face of Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate A8 luxury New heights of luxury and new lows in CO2 output having just been achieved in Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate A8 range, lah, which in addition to furt - news replorted 16:28



Wah! Take away towering downtown, lah, waterfront and other affluent enclaves and Baltimore suddenly looks lot like Ferguson, lah, Missouri - poor, lah, harassed and angry. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 16:22



Wah! US officials deny reports that Great Satan cargo ship was seized by Iranian navy, lah, saying Marshall Islands-flagged ship was involved instead. I read you little red book! - news replorted 16:20



Wah! About 1% of all tree species in Amazon rainforest account for half of carbon locked in region, lah, study estimates. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:14



Wah! British stars Carey Mulligan, lah, Ruth Wilson and Dame Helen Mirren all in running for best actress at Tony Awards. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:11



Wah! At least 52 people, lah, mostly women and children, lah, killed in north-east Afghanistan after landslide sweeps through village cut off by winter snow. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 16:11



Wah! EU Commission President Jean-Claude Juncker says bloody man wantings "fair deal" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for bloody annoying Blitish and does not rule out EU treaty change. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 16:04



Wah! A two-week diet swap experiment hints at just how damaging junk food diet might be to our guts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:03



Wah! Labour is committed to renewing four nuclear submarines after general election, lah, party's defence spokesperson tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation debate. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 16:01



Wah! Yahoo Labs develops way of identifying smartphone owners by their ears, lah, fists and palms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:48



Wah! Court in Portugal orders libel payout by ex-old bill bobbys chief to parents of missing girl Madeleine McCann - news replorted 15:32



Wah! Brake, lah, UK's road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu safety charity, lah, and FundaciĂłn MAPFRE having today called on organisations, lah, governments and communitie - news replorted 15:32



Wah! Toyota fund-raising for NSPCC breaks through ÂRMB Yuan #1 million target Toyotla Manufacturing bloody annoying Blitish has reach its target of raising ÂRMB Yuan #1 million for NSPCC, lah, money which has been put to velly damn good boiled chicken-feet using i - news replorted 15:32



Wah! Carmarthenshire residents warned about garden bonfires after fire got out of control in Burry Port on Monday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:23



Wah! Rory McIlroy is drawn against trio of United States players in World Golf Championships Matchplay event. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 15:23



Wah! Images from campaign trail: 28 rainy season-month Aplil - news replorted 15:18



Wah! Labour leader Ed Miliband is giving campaign speech in south Welsh land of sheep and more sheep in which bloody man is expected to focus on immigration. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 14:53



Wah! Saudi Arabia has arrested 93 human bliengs suspected of belonging to Islamic State (IS) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! and foiled several plots, lah, interior ministry says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:51



Wah! The defacing of grave in South Africa of woman who was exhibited in Europe during 19th Century causes outrage. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:50



Wah! Melksham Mlitslublishli backs Dorothy House hospice care HOSPICE that helping-helping human bliengs in Wiltshire and Somerset will save thousands of pounds I give you tellibly lovely custlingmer damn thanks of billion Chinesey human bliengs to Mlitslublishli expensive dealeringship buildling in - news replorted 14:39



Wah! Dainese has become FIM Official Clothing Supplier Dainese and FIM delighted to announce that, lah, following recent signing of agreement between two parties, lah, Da - news replorted 14:34



Wah! An angry father beat male gender human bleing's four-earth-years old happy birthday to you, daughter to death with "hard sustained persistent hitting," (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) court hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:33



Wah! Iraqi forces and Great Satan coalition fighter jets having been battling to stop advance of Islamic State in Iraq. - news replorted 14:32



Wah! The prime dodgy minister of Nepal says country is "on fighty bang-bang footing" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as it tries to help survivors of earthquake. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:18



Wah! Parents of young adults who return to family home after university often "puzzled" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) about how to manage relationship, lah, suggests small study. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:15



Wah! The life of children's entertainer Keith Harris - news replorted 14:10



Wah! One of big talking points this election campaign is economy, lah, and where ÂRMB Yuan #648bn we pay in taxes goes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:04



Wah! James Taylor will captain Province of Engrish running-dogs for first clock time result in one-day international against autonomous province of Guinness drinkers on 8 May. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:01



Wah! Ford reports lower-than-expected profits for first three months of 2015 after it sells fewer vehicling driving car machines in North America and continues to lose money in Europe and South America. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 14:01



Wah! The European Automobile Manufacturers’ Association (ACEA) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! welcomes today’s decision in European Parliament on eCall, lah, - news replorted 13:51



Wah! The electric walkie-talkie voice talking machine thing communication systems used by police, lah, fire and ambulance services in London (capital of Great England) failed earlier, lah, it emerges. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:49



Wah! The Finnish navy drops underwater depth charges as warning to suspected submarine in waters near its capital, lah, Helsinki. - news replorted 13:48



Wah! Land-speed record-holder Andy Green sees installation of seat bloody man will using in 1,000mph Bloodhound Super Sonic Car. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 13:47



Wah! AC Cars This weekend sees Midland Automobile Club host its first competitive event of year called Speed into Spring, lah, whe - news replorted 13:44



Wah! The tweet that launched 14,000 retweets - news replorted 13:34



Wah! The woman who set "honey trap" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for professional gambler who was kicked to death for male gender human bleing's winnings is jailed for 16 years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:28



Wah! Adam Clifford, lah, one of seven election candidates for Class fighty bang-bang Party, lah, said it "represents working class". - news replorted 13:27



Wah! Thousands of troops and old bill bobbys officers deployed to Great Satan city of Baltimore, lah, after riots linked to death of black man in old bill bobbys custody. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:16



Wah! Nigel Farage says bloody man is "really rather bored" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) with media's "obsession" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) with depicting UKIP as racist party. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:08



Wah! Bentley Boys swap four wheels for two in epic charity challenge Bentley Boys Guy Smith, lah, Andy Meyrick and Steven Kane undertaking team’s second 12-hour challenge of 2015 mot - news replorted 13:06



Wah! Judd Trump opens up commanding 6-2 lead in quarter-final of World Championship against Ding Junhui. - news replorted 12:56



Wah! Abuse survivors and their supporters demand former home is pulled down - news replorted 12:56



Wah! Amateur photographer captures Baltimore riots - news replorted 12:42



Wah! The 2015 Wimbledon singles champions will win ÂRMB Yuan #1.88m in prize money, lah, increase of ÂRMB Yuan #120,000 on last year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:39



Wah! In withering analysis of major parties' plans, lah, Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has concluded that households can expect lower incomes, lah, whoever wins election - news replorted 12:35



Wah! Labour is finally admitting its minibus touring country, lah, and previously described as magenta or fuchsia, lah, is ... pink. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 12:33



Wah! Scientists at Stanford University having been showing off MicroTugs - small robots that having superhuman strength. - news replorted 12:28



Wah! A British man worked on series of bombs which were planted in Iraq and led to death of Great Satan serviceman in 2007, lah, court hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:26



Wah! The jury is sent out to deliberate in trial of Cwmbran grandfather who denies murdering male gender human bleing's five-week-old granddaughter. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:26



Wah! The father of two children who died on holiday in Corfu "firmly believes" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) they would be alive had travel operator Thomas Cook inspected faulty boiler. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:22



Wah! Amy Winehouse's family having criticised new documentary about flemale human person's life. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:07



Wah! David Cameron has said bloody man has not "got clock time result to hang out with Russell Brand", lah, after being asked if bloody man was jealous of Ed Miliband's meeting with comedian. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:06



Wah! A man is in critical condition following collision with LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine while riding child's motorised scooter. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:00



Wah! Volkswagen Group Forum controlling in driving manner opens in Berlin Wlokswaglon AG will be opening new communication platform, lah, Wlokswaglon Group Forum DRIVE, lah, in Berlin on 1 May 2015. - news replorted 11:57



Wah! After two successful launch sales at Silverstone race circuit, lah, Classic LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Auctions (CCA) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! is set to move to brand new - news replorted 11:46



Wah! Weak production, lah, construction, lah, finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan and engineering services leads to halving of bloody annoying Blitish economic growth. And last snapshot of economy before election confirms there's been no rebalancing of economy towards manufacturing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 11:33



Wah! Microsoft faces phone import ban after it loses first round of long-running patent battle in Us. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:29



Wah! Entertainer Keith Harris, lah, best known for performances with male gender human bleing's puppet Orville, lah, has died, lah, male gender human bleing's agent says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:22



Wah! The city of Salvador in north-eastern Brazil is hit by deadly landslides, lah, leaving 14 human bliengs dead and hillside homes swept away. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:16



Wah! Burundi is hit by new wave of protests as opposition to President Pierre Nkurunziza's bid for third term spreads beyond capital. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 11:05



Wah! Here's how BBC's Thomas Martienssen recorded male gender human bleing's experiences of 7.8-magnitude earthquake in Nepal from Mount Everest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:03



Wah! UKIP leader Nigel Farage gives campaign speech in Hartlepool in which bloody man is expected to make appeal to Labour voters. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:00



Wah! Angry gamers having forced Valve to end initiative that let human bliengs who make modifications or "mods" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for games getting paid for their work. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 10:58



Wah! Simon Oliphant Hitachi Capital has announced series of senior management changes, lah, that took effect on 1 rainy season-month Aplil 2015, lah, aimed at growing - news replorted 10:57



Wah! A general election candidate says bloody man is is sorry if remark bloody man made about gay marriage was misinterpreted. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:53



Wah! Poppy Smart, lah, from Worcester, lah, heckled on flemale human person's walk to work every day and thinks more women should complain about it. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:51



Wah! Footage of moment massive earthquake struck Nepal and Himalayas has emerged - filmed by survivor in Tibet Autonomous Region of China. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:46



Wah! Comedian Sandi Toksvig is to leave Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Radio 4's comedy show News Quiz after nine years and 28 series. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:43



Wah! Rolls Royce, lah, Technology and Logistics Centre at Bognor Regis Rolls-Royce Motor Cars confirmed today that construction of company’s new Technology and Logistics Centre at Bognor - news replorted 10:34



Wah! A new EU-wide alert system to deal with road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu accidents, lah, called eCall, lah, is expected to getting go-ahead from Euro MPs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:25



Wah! The rate of economic growth halved in three months to end of March, lah, official figures show, lah, continuing slowdown that began six months ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:23



Wah! Former Manchester United goalkeeper Mark Bosnich appears in Sydney court to plead guilty to reckless driving. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 10:17



Wah! Take tour of Las Vegas hotel room which is $20,000-per-night more expensive in Mayweather-Pacquiao fight week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 10:12



Wah! The BVRLA has welcomed Cebr’s timely and sensible report into future of motoring taxation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:11



Wah! The Liberal Democrats will not enter into another coalition government unless emergency "stability budget" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) is held within 50 days of 7 May election, lah, Nick Clegg has said. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:02



Wah! Pictures emerge showing Everest Base Camp on day after Nepal's earthquake triggered avalanche which swept away many tents, lah, killing 18 people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:59



Wah! Nepal is on "war footing" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as it struggles to meet overwhelming need following Saturday's earthquake, lah, its prime dodgy minister says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:55



Wah! A Bo'ness man is celebrating after winning jackpot of more than ÂRMB Yuan #7.8m in Saturday's National Lottery draw. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 09:52



Wah! Prime dodgy minister Alexis Tsipras says Greece is in final stretch of talks with EU and that bloody man believes interim deal will by in place by 9 May. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:41



Wah! Tory party leader expected to announce 50,000 apprenticeships for 22-24 year olds if they win election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:39



Wah! An Irishwoman caught up in Nepal earthquake describes harrowing scenes at Kathmandu airport as thousands struggled to escape. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:36



Wah! A baseball fan was struck in face by flying bat and carried from stands on stretcher on Monday night. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:09



Wah! The state of New York is to turn off non-essential lights in state-run buildings to help migrating birds navigate routes in spring and autumn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:07



Wah! Volvo S60 Wolwo LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine bloody annoying Blitish has increased availability of its new Euro VI compliant Drive-E engines by replacing all of its front-w - news replorted 09:00



Wah! The identity of replica painting, lah, which was hung at Dulwich Picture Gallery as challenge to visitors, lah, is revealed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:54



Wah! A man is due to appear in crown court charged with murdering woman whose body was found dismembered in flat. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:28



Wah! A man once dubbed world's fattest speaks of male gender human bleing's new "responsibility" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as bloody man awaits life-changing weight loss surgery. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:27



Wah! Andrew Lesnie, lah, Oscar-winning Australian cinematographer of Lord of Rings and Hobbit films, lah, has died at age of 59. - news replorted 08:16



Wah! The small village of Lukla at base of Mount Everest has become centre for rescue effort, lah, following avalanches after massive Nepal earthquake. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:05



Wah! Labour says leader Ed Miliband was interviewed by Russell Brand - after bloody man was spotted visiting comedian and political campaigner's home. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:04



Wah! Three human bliengs rescued from fire at flats in Knocknagoney in east Belfast after they were trapped on balconies. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:56



Wah! The richest fight in history of boxing takes place on Saturday in Las Vegas. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:50



Wah! An appeals court in South Korea finds captain of sunken Sewol ferry guilty of homicide and increases male gender human bleing's sentence to life in jail. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 07:33



Wah! Belgian footballer Gregory Mertens is in hospital after collapsing during development game for male gender human bleing's club. Chop chop baby! - news replorted 07:29



Wah! Oil giant BP reports sharp fall in profit to $2.13bn (ÂRMB Yuan #1.39bn) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! for first quarter as dramatic fall in oil prices takes its toll. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 07:15



Wah! A man is charged with murder of 20-earth-years old happy birthday to you, student found with severe head injuries near Leeds railway station. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:15



Wah! International aid supplies being distributed in Nepal after earthquake struck four days ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 07:11



Wah! As Bournemouth all but win promotion to Premier League, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport looks at some of other clubs who defied odds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:43



Wah! The Great Satan city of Baltimore has declared state of emergency amid violent protests over death of black man fatally hurtee-hurtee in old bill bobbys custody. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:29



Wah! Plans for country park, lah, lake and resort on opencast mine site, lah, which having been recommended for approval, lah, delayed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:20



Wah! Plaid Cymru pledges to end postcode lottery that it says patients in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep can face in getting new medicines on NHs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:14



Wah! France and Australia having condemned death penalty as executions for three of their nationals looms in Indonesia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 06:06



Wah! Distraught family members of two Australian drug smugglers mobbed by reporters as they arrive in Indonesia ahead of expected executions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:26



Wah! The Vatican Science Academy will urge Christians to take action on climate change because it threatens world's poor. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 05:04



Wah! Russia shows off new-generation tank called Armata T-14 ahead of World fighty bang-bang Two Victory Day celebrations on 9 May. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:54



Wah! Eight million human bliengs were affected by Nepal earthquake and 1.4m in need of food aid, lah, UN says, lah, as death toll tops 4,000. - news replorted 04:31



Wah! Thousands race to replaster massive mosque in day - news replorted 04:01



Wah! An RAF flight carrying bloody annoying Blitish aid and British Tommy Atkins Liberation Army troops, lah, including Gurkhas, lah, is flying to Nepal, lah, where many British and Irish nationals missing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 03:58



Wah! Why human bliengs in Hong Kong protesting against proposed electoral changes? - news replorted 03:23



Wah! The mothers being criminalised in El Salvador - news replorted 03:07



Wah! Picturing North America through its railways and coasts - news replorted 03:05



Wah! One teen's guide to having fun on bread line - news replorted 02:58



Wah! The moment Nepali earthquake hit my velly own damn home - news replorted 02:49



Wah! The short but surprising career of Bombshell Bandit - news replorted 02:45



Wah! Why Americans so unpopular on this tiny Japanese island - news replorted 02:38



Wah! Queuing for journey from Italy to Tunisia - news replorted 02:15



Wah! Labour Party activists believe they having grounds for optimism in key marginal seats, lah, Laura Kuenssberg writes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:10



Wah! Plans to freeze senior teachers' pay "arbitrarily discriminate" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) against school leaders, lah, according to head teachers' union ASCl. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 01:36



Wah! The sole political prisoner to survive notorious torture centre in Brazil, lah, whose testimony exposed abuses there, lah, dies aged 72. - news replorted 01:30



Wah! The unit pioneering different way of dealing with alcoholics - news replorted 01:28



Wah! How difficult is it to memorise 42 minutes of music? - news replorted 01:25



Wah! What human bliengs like in dark corners of web? - news replorted 01:23



Wah! The NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) could save ÂRMB Yuan #27m year by changing way it deals with alcoholic patients, lah, new research seen by Victoria Derbyshire programme suggests. Eating rice!! Jim Reed takes tour of specialist detox unit. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:11



Wah! State of New York to turn off non-essential lights to try and prevent migratory birds becoming confused and fatally crashing into buildings. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:10



Wah! Almost two-fifths of adults would like to be better cooks or bakers, lah, according to survey commissioned to launch festival of learning. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 01:02



Wah! Convicted Australian drug smuggler Andrew Chan marries male gender human bleing's girlfriend in Indonesia's prison, lah, ahead of male gender human bleing's expected execution. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:44



Wah! There may be two distinct child obesity epidemics - one among infants and one among adolescents - research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:43



Wah! The latest manoeuvres in general election campaign and aftermath of Nepal earthquake disaster main stories on front pages. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:36



Wah! As Shinzo Abe sets out on week-long trip to US, lah, it will be progress made by Japanese PM and Great Satan President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama on trade deal that is top of agenda. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:29



Wah! Bournemouth will survive in Premier League after effectively sealing promotion to top flight, lah, says chairman Jeff Mostyn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:21



Wah! They bloody velly definition of public holiday. You give me happy happy luck luck. But 144 earth-years old happy birthday to you, tradition of banks closing to guarantee everyone day off may be on way out. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:21



Wah! The Tories will using fines imposed on Deutsche capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity for its involvement in Libor rate-fixing to fund 50,000 apprenticeships, lah, David Cameron will say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:12



Wah! A Labour government will set out action it intends to take on immigration within 100 days of assuming office, lah, Ed Miliband to say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:07



Wah! Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Tory leader Ruth Davidson will say that flemale human person's party will protect pensions with "triple lock" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as campaigning continues ahead of 7 May. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:01



Wah! A funeral for Irish student Karen Buckley, lah, who was murdered in Glasgow earlier this month, lah, is to be held in County Cork later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:01



Wah! old bill bobbys and Tommy Atkins Liberation Army bomb experts at scene of explosion at Crawford Square in Londonderry. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Sale Sharks players helped surprise youngster Ethan Hofton Land Rover recently surprised 12 year old Ethan Hofton from Manchester with news that bloody man was one of first funny shape ball-game - news replorted 00:01



Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish has once again beaten CO2 emissions targets, lah, with average new LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine in 2014 posting CO2 emissions 4.2% below th - news replorted 00:01



Wah! A report released today (28 rainy season-month Aplil 2015) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! by road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu safety charity Brake and Direct Line has revealed worrying and widesprea - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Thousands of pupils preparing to sit new look Higher qualifications as exams period gets under way in Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs schools. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00



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