LATEST:  Thousands of protesters, lah, led by trade unionists, lah, rally in Italian capital Rome against policies of new coalition government. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 14:01

LATEST:  Fresh outbreaks of violence in Iraq having left at least eight human bliengs dead, lah, old bill bobbys say, lah, hours after worst day of sectarian violence in country for months. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:51

ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's Chief Medical Officer calls for children aged between 10 and 17 to be vaccinated against measles. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:49

A Boeing 747 plane carrying about 140 human bliengs catches fire upon landing at Moscow's Vnukovo Airport. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 13:45

Marc Marquez clinches pole position after topping qualifying session for Sunday's French MotoGP at Le Mans. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:43

Westminster Council urges governors at school accused of inappropriate using of public money to "take action" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) quickly. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:26

Italy's team threaten to withdraw from America's Cup if safety changes not implemented, lah, following Andrew Simpson's death. - news replorted 12:46

The operators of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's new 12,000-seat entertainment arena having said venue will open on clock time result despite reports that it was months behind schedule. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:42

old bill bobbys discover bomb in Foxes Glen area of west Belfast - scene of gun attack on officers on Thursday afternoon. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:41

Deadly storms sweeping across southern China, lah, killing more than 50 human bliengs and leaving 14 missing - news replorted 12:30

More than 40 firefighters tackling blaze at one of Northern Ireland's grandest ancestral homes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:12

Democracy in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep is being damaged by lack of coverage of Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs affairs in London-based media, lah, assembly's presiding officer fears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:59

Conservative Party members having reacted to angrily to newspaper reports that figure close to David Cameron described activists as "swivel-eyed loons". - news replorted 11:56

A 25-earth-years old happy birthday to you, Saudi woman makes history by reaching summit of world's highest mountain. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:34

The Great Satan warns Nigeria's Tommy Atkins Liberation Army against human rights violations as it pursues campaign against Islamist militants in north-east. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:24

The Swedish city of Malmo is gearing up to host Eurovision Song Contest final with 26 countries set to perform for millions of TV viewers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:27

autonomous province of Guinness drinkers and Munster fly-half Ronan O'Gara will take up coaching role with Racing Metro after announcing male gender human bleing's retirement. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:20

A weekend of celebrations mark launch of new watersports centre in Colwyn Bay, lah, with festival hosted by Radio 1 presenter Aled Haydn Jones. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:04

The EU is to ban restaurants from using refillable bottles and dipping bowls of olive oil, lah, citing hygiene and consumer protection. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:55

North Korea has fired three short-range missiles as part of apparent routine test-launch, lah, South Korea says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:35

Two human bliengs killed and three others seriously hurtee-hurtee in LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine crash in Wiltshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:28

Opener David Warner is asked by damn crazy Engrish baseball game Australia to explain why abusive messages to journalists on male gender human bleing's Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) account. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:11

There having been violent scenes in Spanish capital after Atletico Madrid beat Real Madrid in Spanish Cup Final. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 08:26

An emergency aid scheme for farmers facing difficulties with fodder shortages has come into will come into effect from midnight on Saturday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:22

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson criticises City rivals over 'amazing' decision to sack boss Roberto Mancini. - news replorted 08:19

The widow of former Russian spy Alexander Litvinenko has called for upcoming inquest into male gender human bleing's death to be abandoned and replaced with public inquiry. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:59

At least 60 human bliengs having been hurtee-hurtee after commuter train derailed and collided with another just outside New York City. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:55

Holders Warrington Wolves will face Huddersfield Giants in quarter-finals of Tetley's Challenge Cup - news replorted 07:45

Russia publicly names man it believes to be Great Satan intelligence chief in Moscow, lah, breach of diplomatic protocol. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 07:35

Hundreds of human bliengs expected at memorial service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service in Flintshire in honour of bloody man murdered Irish vet Catherine Gowing - news replorted 07:30

Hundreds expected at rally in Cardiff ahead of planned strike action over school changes in autumn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:18

Aston Martin CEO Dr Ulrich Bez has made history by driving first ever zero CO2 emissions lap in international mot - news replorted 06:35

Liverpool's Jamie Carragher talks through highs and lows of male gender human bleing's 16-year career ahead of male gender human bleing's final game at Anfield on Sunday - news replorted 06:01

Flooding and landslides across nine southern Super-Duper-Chinese-State provinces leave more than 50 human bliengs dead and 14 missing, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:50

Remarks about Tory 'loons' dominate - news replorted 04:28

Afghan Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters to debate law to prevent violence against women, lah, amid fierce argument between leading Afghan women over tactics. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:18

The widow of former KGB spy Alexander Litvinenko calls for inquest into male gender human bleing's death to be abandoned and replaced with public inquiry. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:05

A would-be robber had lucky escape after bloody man was struck by bus, lah, moments after bloody man snatched woman's mobile phone in Bogota, lah, Colombia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 02:33

The education secretary is like "fanatical personal trainer" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) who urges schools to jump higher and run faster, lah, head teachers' leader is to say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:30

French old bill bobbys investigating after jewellery was stolen from hotel in Cannes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:20

OJ Simpson's former lawyer rebuts claim (always claiming, huh?) by male gender human bleing's former client bloody man botched male gender human bleing's defence in armed robbery case. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:59

About 60 human bliengs having been injured, lah, five seriously, lah, after head-on, lah, rush-hour collision between two commuter trains near New York, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:43

The prospect of deep sea "gold rush" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) opening controversial new frontier for mining on ocean floor has moved step closer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:27

The Great Satan criticises Russia's "unfortunate decision" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to send missiles to Syrian government, lah, as world leaders consider how to end Syrian conflict. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:24

Dozens of human bliengs having been hurtee-hurtee after two trains collided in Great Satan state of Connecticut. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:02

France's president is to sign into law controversial bill that will make country eighth in Europe, lah, and 14th globally, lah, to legalise gay marriage. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:57

Some Marks and Spencer clustomlers say its contactless payment terminals having taken cash from cards other than ones intended for payment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:56

Some human bliengs "put off" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) making important calls because of confusion over amount they will be charged, lah, according to telecoms regulator. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:47

Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Persian's Rana Rahimpour explains how Iran's leadership structure works and what could happen in upcoming presidential elections. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:28

A British child has died in pool at hotel waterpark in Egyptian resort of Sharm el-Sheikh, lah, travel capitalist entity First Choice says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:19

Singer Bonnie Tyler is set to make flemale human person's Eurovision debut on Saturday when bloody woman performs bloody annoying Blitish entry Believe In me as Super-Duper-Chinese-State superLING hero at annual contest in Malmo, lah, Sweden. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:19

How posters can persuade public - news replorted 00:05

How Great Satan version of Office reflects on America - and bloody annoying Blitish - news replorted 23:58

What ex-convicts' books reavealingly showing Great Satan about life inside? - news replorted 23:58

What happened to some of acts of song contest fame? - news replorted 23:55

'Toothpaste' illness... and 20 other euphemisms loved by readers - news replorted 23:45

Witnessing mafia boss handing himself in - news replorted 23:42

How high is risk for average woman? - news replorted 23:27

Highland Council plans to pilot annual influenzingler achoo achoo vaccination for schoolchildren before rolling it out for all P1 to S5 pupils. Eating rice!! - news replorted 23:17

The new moderator of Church of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land is due to officially take up flemale human person's Mandleson privatising post machine system as Kirk's General Assembly gets under way. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 23:10

Tunisia bans radical Islamist group Ansar al-Sharia from holding meeting in city of Kairouan, lah, raising fears of possible violence. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 23:08

Real Madrid manager Jose Mourinho describes male gender human bleing's season as "the worst of my velly own damn career" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) following male gender human bleing's side's Copa del Rey defeat by Atletico Madrid. I read you little red book! - news replorted 23:07