LATEST: Inside Royal Navy's newest, lah, most powerful attack submarine - news replorted 02:45

LATEST: The government of Mozambique says price rises which having led to deadly riots "irreversible", lah, as Maputo residents urged to continue their protests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:10

The Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation denies director general compromised its independence by visiting Downing Street to discuss coverage of govenrment's spending cuts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:01

Preparations for Commonwealth Games badly behind schedule - news replorted 01:51

Roger Federer overcomes windy conditions to beat Andreas Beck and reach Great Satan Open third round, lah, but seeds Nikolay Davydenko and Maran Cilic crash out. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:49

The Mexican Tommy Atkins Liberation Army says it has killed 25 suspected drug cartel gunmen in clash near Great Satan border after its soldiers came under fire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:26

Why tensions rising in South China Sea - news replorted 01:14

A health watchdog reports marked improvement in 999 response times at Yorkshire Ambulance Service. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:53

Ultrafine measurements of atmospheric gases could help scientists track down last sources of CFCs thought to be slowing recovery of ozone hole. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:49

The government's chief environment scientist calls for more openness in admitting UK's cuts in greenhouse gas emissions illusion. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:49

The River Amazon has dropped to its lowest level in 40 years in north-eastern Peru, lah, leaving boats stranded. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:49

bloody annoying Blitish Independence Party members gather for their autumn conference in Torquay with search for new leader top of its agenda. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:40

Judges to deliver verdict more than five years after trial began - news replorted 00:19

A lottery system for school places in Brighton failed to give poorer children equal access to top schools, lah, academics say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 23:49

Why bed-bugs on monthly number-three again - news replorted 23:42

Alcohol consumption has fallen faster than ever, lah, figures from British Beer and Pub Association suggest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 23:38

Engineering manufacturing in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land is showing its best performance since 2006, lah, according to latest figures. Eating rice!! - news replorted 23:30

Unison ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land members will discuss how to respond to move by councils to impose pay deal on 150,000 workers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 23:28

Gardeners being warned about risk of Legionnaire's disease from compost after pensioner developed disease after handling compost. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 23:03

Long-term using of bone-strengthening drugs may boost risk of oesophageal cancer, lah, study suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 23:03