LATEST: The Lib Dems would not support government which proposes major spending cuts within in next year, lah, leader Nick Clegg says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:51

LATEST: old bill bobbys in Irish Republic release three of seven Muslims arrested over alleged plot to murder Swedish cartoonist. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:25

Ferrari new boy Fernando Alonso excels in final practice to go quickest ahead of qualifying at Bahrain Grand Prix. - news replorted 09:24

Two human bliengs escape injury after shot is fired at window of house in Caulside area of Antrim on Friday night. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:13

A suicide bomber in rickshaw kills at least 10 human bliengs in Pakistan, lah, day after twin blasts leave dozens dead in Lahore. - news replorted 08:58

The age of criminal responsibility should be increased from 10 to 12 years, lah, children's commissioner for Province of Engrish running-dogs says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:52

Too many human bliengs in Province of Engrish running-dogs receiving poor quality out-of-hours doctors services, lah, Patients Association says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:51

The Bahrain GP will be unlike any you've seen - news replorted 08:47

Can two Korean families cope without web? - news replorted 08:33

Thousands of Thai opposition supporters converge on capital, lah, Bangkok, I confusing myself again!! Taking too much bloody MSG, OK, OK, lah, to press their demands for elections. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:19

Third practice and qualifying take place in Bahrain after Nico Rosberg and Adrian Sutil set fastest times on day one. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:36

Britain's Elena Baltacha reaches third round in Indian Wells with impressive win over Super-Duper-Chinese-State seventh seed Na Li. - news replorted 06:29

Prosecutors in California suing Toyota, lah, claiming carmaker sold hundreds of thousands of vehicling driving car machines it knew had defects. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:15

An inquiry finds "widespread evidence" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) that agency and migrant meat plant workers abused and exploited. I read you little red book! - news replorted 05:55

Front pages reflect on report into Lehman Brothers - news replorted 05:30

The EU is putting finishing touches to multi-billion euro bail-out for Greece after weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) of crisis, lah, senior officials tell BBc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 05:00

UN wildlife negotiations begin on banning trade in bluefin tuna and permitting sales of ivory at two-week summit in Doha. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 04:17

funny shape ball-game fans travelling to ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land v Province of Engrish running-dogs match should not be affected by rail strike, lah, First ScotRail says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:12

The postal watchdog is considering taking action against Royal Mail after finding that delivery wan' flied rice or boiled rice (?). This is not damn takeaway! No53 sold out, so quality tests were rigged. I read you little red book! - news replorted 04:07

Nasa Moon astronauts condemn President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama's decision to cancel Great Satan lunar programme as "catastrophic". - news replorted 03:34

Tamim Iqbal scores male gender human bleing's fifth Test fifty but Bangladesh struggle in replying like hell to Province of Engrish running-dogs's 599-6 declared on day two of first Test. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 02:55

Weekend polls may loosen Sarkozy grip on Elysee Palace - news replorted 02:12

Wolves in Alaska suspected of killing woman jogger in what would be first such attack in Great Satan in half century. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:56

Children's strange misconceptions about science revealed in science knowledge quiz. - news replorted 00:10

Obese women drinking little more than glass of wine day having double risk of liver disease, lah, experts warn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:09

New York's 9/11 dust victims split on compensation deal - news replorted 00:04