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Audi A3 Lease delivered to Paula Mitchell in Wirral

Visit my full letters page click here
Getting letters in the post is really nice. It makes a lovely change from getting email. This one was sent by Paula Mitchell from Wirral. Amazingly, the postman didn’t steal it!
Paula says…“I found my experience with Ling pain-free and very easy. It was so simple to complete all the [...]

Publishing new polluting info for the Mercedes CLC

Don’t spend so much on fuel! If you get a new Mercedes CLC Petrol 1.6 i BlueEFFICIENCY 16v (127bhp) 160 Sport Coupe 3dr 1597cc Automatic, then you will spend less because the CO2 value has changed. That means more MPG.
As a bonus to add to your lower motoring costs, you will get every subsequent [...]

Lease delivered to Jackie Cassidy in Gateshead

Visit my full letters page click here
Does your cat eat letters when they come through your letter box? Mine does. Here’s a letter it missed, from Jackie Cassidy in Gateshead. Bloody cat!
Jackie says…I love your website, it’s completely mad but absolutely brilliant – I’ll definitely be recommending it to others.
Jackie CassidyEvenwoodSt Mary’s TerraceHeworthGatesheadNE10
Editor Note: Thanks [...]

Comparative label for the Vauxhall Astra Sport Hatch

CO2 affects fuel consumption directly. Less CO2 means less fuel burnt. So, I’m reporting this change on the Vauxhall Astra Sport Hatch Petrol Manual. Have a look at the new figures.
At the manufacturer’s service intervals, the car will need a service, which you are responsible for. Of course, as it’s a brand-new car, tyres/brakes [...]

Volkswagen Passat Lease delivered to Brian Tilley in Kettering

Visit my full letters page click here
My letters webpage must be just about the longest on the internet! Currently, there are 1377 letters on my website. Letters are great, as they are like a window on my customers’ happiness. My good customer Brian Tilley wrote this one:
Brian says…With phone calls answered by Ling herself, emails [...]

Carbon Dioxide and the BMW 5-Series Saloon

Everyone moans that things go up and up and up. Well, the CO2 on the BMW 5-Series Saloon 2.0 d (177bhp) 520d SE Saloon 4dr 1995cc Diesel Manual has just come down! What a result! This post is to let you know.
Have you ever rented a self-drive car for a day or a week? [...]

Peugeot 207 Cc Lease delivered to Steve Crowley in Ashford

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New cars are like new toys to most of my customers. They get really excited. Just like Steve Crowley. I delivered this Peugeot 207 Cc to Ashford then I got this very nice letter back…
Steve says…We would like to thank you all very much for all your help and [...]

Pollution levels on the Dodge Journey have changed

CO2 CO2, CO2. It always seems to go up. The Dodge Journey 2.0 CRD (138bhp) SXT MPV (7-seat) 5dr 1968cc Diesel Manual seems to have reversed this trend. If you choose one of these, you will be pleased. Lower CO2 means lower fuel consumption.
This is very difficult for some people to control because [...]

Vauxhall Zafira Lease delivered to Leighton Morris in Nantwich

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Customers often send me letters, I have 1377 in total! It keeps the postman busy. These letters are all hard copies, and none are invented. This one is from Leighton Morris
Leighton says…Delivery and financial set up all went very smoothly – impressed with the speed and efficiency. All questions [...]

Fuel economy and CO2 change on my Citroen Berlingo Multispace

I am Ling and my Citroen Berlingo Multispace 1.6 HDi (90bhp) VTR MPV (5-seat) 5dr 1560cc Diesel Manual has a new CO2 value today. So I post it here in my blog. I always update very fast. Can anyone name another website that can do this stuff as fast as me?
Have you ever [...]

Mazda Rx-8 Lease delivered to John Reynolds in Weston Super Mare

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I have 1377 customer letters! This one was sent by John Reynolds after they had been driving around a few weeks in their new Mazda Rx-8
John says…“Hi Ling, fantastic!!!! I’ve regained my youth. Many thanks for all your efforts. Cheers”
John Reynolds42 Ashcombe GardensWeston Super MareBS23 2XD
Editor Note: John, as [...]

Volkswagen Passat Lease delivered to Ashley Goodchild in Basildon

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Gotta laugh at some of these letters! It’s amazing how much time some customers put into writing them. Often it can take me up to 10 seconds to read them. Just like this letter from Ashley Goodchild that I got a while ago:
Ashley says…Ling,
So few times do people do [...]

BMW 5-Series Touring pollution changed

Fuel is a fortune these days, so when the BMW 5-Series Touring 2.0 d (177bhp) 520d SE Estate 5dr 1995cc Diesel Manual has slightly changed figures, I always blog about it, because my customers say they care.
With my deals, you get a brand new car with zero miles on the clock, delivered to [...]

Nissan Note Lease delivered to Brian Gallagher in Glasgow

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Gotta laugh at some of these letters! It’s amazing how much time some customers put into writing them. Often it can take me up to 10 seconds to read them. Just like this letter from Brian Gallagher that I got a while ago:
Brian says…“Instant response and instant decisions. Classic [...]

Green info has changed on the Citroen C3 Picasso

The Citroen C3 Picasso 1.4 16v (95bhp) VTR Plus MPV 5dr 1397cc Petrol Manual has new environmental information today. I have updated! Pay attention, you are too slow
Have you ever rented a self-drive car for a day or a week? Well, Contract Hire is exactly the same, just for a [...]

Mazda Mx-5 Lease delivered to Anthony Shipley in Nottingham

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I always ask my customers if they have comments about getting their new car. Really, I am looking for criticisms (so I can improve my service). However, customers like Anthony Shipley show that it is hard to generate real criticism. I can only improve if I know if anything [...]

The Skoda Octavia is a Green car yet?

I am simply faster than any other car sales website in changing these Skoda Octavia 1.9 Tdi (105bhp) S Hatchback 5dr 1896cc Diesel Manual details to reflect the latest info. No one can keep up with me. Often the manufacturer websites are out of date!
Have you ever rented a self-drive car for a day [...]

Lexus Is Lease delivered to Karl Richardson in Swadlincote

Visit my full letters page click here
Many customer letters contain really funny stuff. It’s unusual to receive a very dry one. However, I publish them all. Here is a letter from Karl Richardson. It was sent to me quite a while ago!
Karl says…The best website for car leasing on the net.
I needed a quote and [...]

Audi TT Coupe pollution changed

My system has alerted me that the Audi TT Coupe 2.0 TDi (172bhp) Quattro 4WD Coupe 2dr 1968cc Diesel Manual has changed today so I update my website and post here for the benefit of customers. No one else bothers with this stuff. I treat you like adult, not idiot.
Many large organisations such [...]

Vauxhall Astra Sport Hatch Lease delivered to David Smith in Hastings

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My letters webpage must be just about the longest on the internet! Currently, there are 1377 letters on my website. Letters are great, as they are like a window on my customers’ happiness. My good customer David Smith wrote this one:
David says…Hi Ling. Thanks for my wonderful red car. [...]

Emission figures on the SAAB 9-3 Sport Saloon

Great cars like the SAAB 9-3 Sport Saloon 1.9 TiD 8v (120bhp) Turbo Edition Saloon 4dr 1910cc Diesel Manual jump out to me when I am checking environment data. This one has changed, so I type it here. I get a lot of these changes.
Most Ling cars are on 2 year deals or less, [...]

Vauxhall Vectra Lease delivered to Martin Roberts in London

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Gotta laugh at some of these letters! It’s amazing how much time some customers put into writing them. Often it can take me up to 10 seconds to read them. Just like this letter from Martin Roberts that I got a while ago:
Martin says…Very simplistic user friendly and helpful. [...]

My Jeep Wrangler has been updated

I am Ling and my Jeep Wrangler 2.8 CRD (174bhp) Sport Unlimited 4WD Station Wagon 5dr 2777cc Diesel Manual has a new CO2 value today. So I post it here in my blog. I always update very fast. Can anyone name another website that can do this stuff as fast as me?
Sometimes new car [...]

Citroen C-crosser Lease delivered to Anthony Walsh in Amersham

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New cars are like new toys to most of my customers. They get really excited. Just like Anthony Walsh. I delivered this Citroen C-crosser to Amersham then I got this very nice letter back…
Anthony says…Hi Ling – no need for me to babble on about your service, which I [...]

Change on the Citroen Berlingo Multispace

I am the fastest car supplier in the UK to update the Citroen Berlingo Multispace 1.6 HDi (90bhp) VTR MPV (5-seat) 5dr 1560cc Diesel Manual information. No one in the industry can believe how fast I am.
How to explain this without it seeming like the usual sales talk? … I don’t know, but [...]

Volkswagen Transporter Lease delivered to Micheal Griffiths in Cannock

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I have 1377 customer letters! This one was sent by Micheal Griffiths after they had been driving around a few weeks in their new Volkswagen Transporter
Micheal says…Ling makes the secular feel spectacular. Delivery – she and the VW dealer did well.
Micheal GriffithsSmegDirect.com3 Chase HousePark PlazaCannockWS12 2DD
Editor Note: Michael, this [...]

New CO2 figure for the Skoda Octavia

My system has alerted me that the Skoda Octavia 1.9 Tdi (105bhp) S Hatchback 5dr 1896cc Diesel Manual has changed today so I update my website and post here for the benefit of customers. No one else bothers with this stuff. I treat you like adult, not idiot.
Oh, I get very mad about this, [...]

Mazda Rx-8 Lease delivered to Paul Brant in Bicester

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Inbetween all my bills and bank statements, I receive customer letters. Here one I pulled out to read from Paul Brant, but I actually got it a while ago. It is about the delivery of their Mazda Rx-8.
Paul says…“Hi Ling, I received my Mazda RX-8 just over a week [...]

Comparative label for the Audi A6 Saloon

CO2 affects fuel consumption directly. Less CO2 means less fuel burnt. So, I’m reporting this change on the Audi A6 Saloon Diesel Manual. Have a look at the new figures.
Local franchised dealer will sort out any warranty problems for free, but on most contracts (except VW group) any VAT registered garage can service car [...]

Audi A6 Saloon Leasing Cheap £396.91 inc VAT

Hey, dudes!!! Pay attention! I have just uploaded a new car lease Audi A6 Saloon deal to my contract hire and leasing website!

I added New Audi A6 Saloon 2.0 TDIe (140bhp) SE Saloon 4dr 1968cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Non-metallic paint.
It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £396.91 inc VAT per month [...]

Skoda Superb Leasing Cheap £281.74 inc VAT

Look at this cheap new car leasing deal I have uploaded to my contract hire website about 2 minutes ago! I have just uploaded a new Skoda Superb .

I added New Skoda Superb 2.0 Tdi PD 8v (138bhp) SE Hatchback 5dr 1968cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint.
It is on a 3+23 monthly [...]

Skoda Superb Leasing Cheap £275.99 inc VAT

I have just uploaded a new Skoda Superb cheap lease deal to my contract hire website!

I added New Skoda Superb 2.0 Tdi PD 8v (138bhp) SE Hatchback 5dr 1968cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £275.99 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by [...]

Saab 9-3 Sport Saloon Lease delivered to Rob Edmunds in Witney

Visit my full letters page click here
Does your cat eat letters when they come through your letter box? Mine does. Here’s a letter it missed, from Rob Edmunds in Witney. Bloody cat!
Rob says…It was a pleasure to deal with a “real” human being. All of my queries were answered quickly and satisfactorily. I am over [...]

Harley-Davidson VRSC Leasing Cheap £259.95 inc VAT

I have been offered the following lease car deal, so here it is! I have just uploaded a new Harley-Davidson VRSC deal to my contract hire website!

I added New Harley-Davidson VRSC 1.25 i V-Twin (125bhp) DX Night Rod Special Motorcycle (2-seat) 1250cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly [...]

Volkswagen Transporter Leasing Cheap £239.77 inc VAT

Look at this cheap new car leasing deal I have uploaded to my contract hire website about 2 minutes ago! I have just uploaded a new Volkswagen Transporter .

I added New Volkswagen Transporter 1.9 TDi (102bhp) T28 SWB Van 1896cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Non-metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. [...]

New VCA data on the Toyota Urban Cruiser

Making your car greener is important, so it is nice when you can do it just by looking at the new Toyota Urban Cruiser 1.3 Dual VVT-i (99bhp) 2WD MPV 5dr 1329cc Petrol Manual. The CO2 values have changed, making it more attractive.
Your car belongs to the finance company on whose documents you [...]

Harley-Davidson VRSC Leasing Cheap £259.95 inc VAT

Hey, dudes!!! Pay attention! I have just uploaded a new car lease Harley-Davidson VRSC deal to my contract hire and leasing website!

I added New Harley-Davidson VRSC 1.25 i V-Twin (125bhp) DX Night Rod Special Motorcycle (2-seat) 1250cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £259.95 inc VAT per [...]

Peugeot 308 Leasing Cheap £217.35 inc VAT

Woo-hoo! I have just uploaded a new lease Peugeot 308 deal to my car leasing and contract hire website! This is damn cheap, filling your boots!

I added New Peugeot 308 1.6 HDi (90bhp) SR Hatchback 5dr 1560cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Non-metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £217.35 inc VAT [...]

Nissan Qashqai Plus2 Leasing Cheap £352.00 inc VAT

Look at this cheap new car leasing deal I have uploaded to my contract hire website about 2 minutes ago! I have just uploaded a new Nissan Qashqai Plus2 .

I added New Nissan Qashqai Plus2 2.0 dCi 16v (147bhp) N-Tec 2WD Hatchback (7-seat) 5dr 1995cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint.
It is on [...]

Citroen C-crosser Lease delivered to Christian Bennett in Eastbourne

Visit my full letters page click here
New cars are like new toys to most of my customers. They get really excited. Just like Christian Bennett. I delivered this Citroen C-crosser to Eastbourne then I got this very nice letter back…
Christian says…Look beyond the Chinese business tactics and you will find a rare breed of company [...]

Different NOx levels on the Toyota Urban Cruiser

Everyone moans that things go up and up and up. Well, the CO2 on the Toyota Urban Cruiser 1.3 Dual VVT-i (99bhp) 2WD MPV 5dr 1329cc Petrol Manual has just come down! What a result! This post is to let you know.
Your car belongs to the finance company on whose documents you agreed [...]

Citroen C4 Lease delivered to Mike Perryman, Managing Director in Newton Abbot

Visit my full letters page click here
Does your cat eat letters when they come through your letter box? Mine does. Here’s a letter it missed, from Mike Perryman, Managing Director in Newton Abbot. Bloody cat!
Mike says…“Funky lady, delivers the goods, excellent dealer.”
Mike Perryman, Managing DirectorDenbury DieselsTotnes RdNewton AbbotTQ12 5NE
Editor Note: Is this “shortest letter writing [...]

Carbon Dioxide and the Skoda Superb

The Skoda Superb 1.9 TDi (103bhp) Greenline Hatchback 5dr 1796cc Diesel Manual has new environmental information today. I have updated! Pay attention, you are too slow
Sometimes you must resign yourself to fact that dealer will look after a retail customer first. Your delivery might be slightly delayed because they are fussing [...]

Mitsubishi L200 (old Shape) Lease delivered to Dawn Hudson in Bromsgrove

Visit my full letters page click here
Gotta laugh at some of these letters! It’s amazing how much time some customers put into writing them. Often it can take me up to 10 seconds to read them. Just like this letter from Dawn Hudson that I got a while ago:
Dawn says…“I find the service that Ling [...]

Comparative label for the Toyota Verso

Making your car greener is important, so it is nice when you can do it just by looking at the new Toyota Verso (New Shape) 1.8 V-Matic (144bhp) T2 MPV (7-seat) 5dr 1798cc Petrol Manual. The CO2 values have changed, making it more attractive.
Oh, I get very mad about this, but I cannot say [...]

Lease delivered to Chris Eyre in Dewsbury

Visit my full letters page click here
My letters webpage must be just about the longest on the internet! Currently, there are 1377 letters on my website. Letters are great, as they are like a window on my customers’ happiness. My good customer Chris Eyre wrote this one:
Chris says…Ling, I found your site because you are [...]

Lower CO2 on my Volkswagen Passat Estate

Green output is important to me, so I tell you the Volkswagen Passat Estate 2.0 TDi (110bhp) CR Highline Estate 5dr 1968cc Diesel Manual has changed, here are the new figures. I work hard to keep everything up to date.
These days, in UK identity theft is common (not problem in China; we all look [...]

Mercedes CLC Leasing Cheap £327.74 inc VAT

If you check my car leasing website, you will see I have just added a new cheap contract hire Mercedes CLC deal! I added this, because it looked cheap to me. I do not add expensive cars.

I added New Mercedes CLC 1.8 K (143bhp) 180K Sport Coupe 3dr 1796cc Petrol, with Automatic gearbox and [...]

Mercedes CLC Leasing Cheap £333.49 inc VAT

Hey, dudes!!! Pay attention! I have just uploaded a new car lease Mercedes CLC deal to my contract hire and leasing website!

I added New Mercedes CLC 2.2 CDI (122bhp) 200CDI Sport Coupe 3dr 2148cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £333.49 inc VAT per month with [...]

Mercedes CLC Leasing Cheap £321.99 inc VAT

I have been offered the following lease car deal, so here it is! I have just uploaded a new Mercedes CLC deal to my contract hire website!

I added New Mercedes CLC 2.2 CDI (122bhp) 200CDI SE Coupe 3dr 2148cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only [...]

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I am Ling Valentine as seen on Dragons' Den I lease cheap cars in the UK!. Have a look at my Cheap car leasing website

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MINI BLOG
 
I am GAY ICON! WoW!
Posted: 04/02/10
Comments ( 1 )
I am GAY ICON! WoW! How amazing! I have my first Civil Partnership couple, both applying a car EACH! That was two weeks ago; the sensible one has alre... READ MORE
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NO FM CAR RADIO IN 2015
Posted: 04/03/10
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NO FM CAR RADIO IN 2015 Listening to the radio in our cars is something we all take for granted. Every car these days comes with a good quality radio, and... READ MORE
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Don't run, little customers! I'm friendly...
I am the Viz UK business ambassador!
Post me Ferrero-Rochers! Yum Yum!
Unlike most other internet car leasing sites, I publish all my contact information openly!
...so, you know who I am
- Ling


THE UK's FAVOURITE
CAR LEASING WEBSITE!

The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD
LING World Headquarters
Vance Business Park
Gateshead, NE11 9NE
Tel 0191 460 9444
Fax 0870 486 1130
sales@LINGsCARS.com
I prefer email to phone - Ling
VAT No: 866 0241 30
Co Reg No: 6178634
Consumer Credit Licence: 624022
Data Protection No: Z1098490
Best Before: 17/08/2007
LING World HQ
People's Republic of Gateshead!

 

Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

LATEST: The mother of five-earth-years old happy birthday to you, British boy who was kidnapped while in Pakistan describes male gender human bleing's release as "amazing". - news replorted 16:35



LATEST: Five MPs, lah, including Liam Fox and Shahid Malik, lah, having appeals against expenses repayment demands dismissed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 16:29



Harry Hill, lah, Ant and Dec and Michael McIntyre will battle it out for top prize at Royal Television Society Awards later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 16:27



The poet laureate Carol Ann Duffy explains why bloody woman has penned poem about David Beckham's ankle injury - news replorted 16:23



Cardinal Sean Brady must examine male gender human bleing's conscience over male gender human bleing's dealings with paedophile priest, lah, Irish cabinet dodgy minister says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:22



Tiger Woods reveals bloody man will make male gender human bleing's return to competitive golf at Masters in Augusta starting on 8 April. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 16:08



A charity condemns parents of four-earth-years old happy birthday to you, sex abuse victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) who accepted money from male gender human bleing's attacker. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 15:57



US envoy George Mitchell puts off visit to Israel amid row over settlements, lah, as clashes erupt in Jerusalem. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 15:27



old bill bobbys say Labour Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Ashok Kumar, lah, who was found dead at male gender human bleing's home on Monday, lah, died from natural causes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:15



Engineers designing world's fastest LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine believe they now having solution to stop it flying off ground. I read you little red book! - news replorted 15:07



Why hair tongs and garlic bread sum up modern Britain - news replorted 15:07



Liverpool's Steven Gerrard escapes disciplinary action by silly kick-kick game Association despite appearing to hit Portsmouth's Michael "Dear Leader" Brown in 4-1 win over south-coast side. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:59



Eight human bliengs having been killed and 11 hurtee-hurtee by two bombs in central Iraqi town of Musayyab, lah, old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:57



Pope Benedict XVI will visit bloody annoying Blitish in September, lah, in first papal visit to country since that of John Paul II in 1982. - news replorted 14:43



Fantasy film Alice In Wonderland remains top of bloody annoying Blitish and autonomous province of Guinness drinkers box office for second week in row. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 14:34



A trainee doctor faces General Medical Council panel following deaths of patients in flemale human person's care in south Welsh land of sheep and more sheep hospitals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:25



The UK's ambassador to Georgia complains about footage of him used in TV hoax about Russian invasion. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 14:03



A violent schizophrenic man who killed father in north London (capital of Great England) months after being fined for another attack is jailed for life. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:56



The vice-president of Kraft Foods says bloody man is "terribly sorry" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for firm's pledge to keep open Cadbury's Keynsham plant. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 13:34



MPs scared of public; public scared of reality - news replorted 13:14



HM Revenue and Customs drops its legal challenge over validity of Portsmouth silly kick-kick game club's move into administration. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:13



The family of five-earth-years old happy birthday to you, British boy who was kidnapped while in Pakistan say they "ecstatic" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after bloody man is found. I read you little red book! - news replorted 13:08



Thailand's red-shirts splash blood under gates of Government House in third day of protests to oust government. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:55



Downing Street defends its refusal to share intelligence over 1998 Omagh bomb in which 29 human bliengs died. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:53



Pope Benedict will visit ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land in September as part of bloody annoying Blitish tour at invitation of Queen, lah, Buckingham Palace confirms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:50



Sri Lanka's ex-army chief Sarath Fonseka appears before military court charged with participating in politics while in uniform. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 12:45



Russia has failed to consider environmental impact of construction for 2014 Winter Olympics, lah, UN says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:37



Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) announces its @anywhere technology that will allow websites to embed its services into their web pages. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:30



Binocular is 9-1 winner of Champion Hurdle as first four favourites of Festival all beaten. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:25



Petrol prices in bloody annoying Blitish could hit record average high of RMB Yuan #1.20 litre in next few weeks, lah, according to Aa. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 12:21



Would you tellibly lovely custlingmer rather fly under red, lah, white and blue? - news replorted 12:19



Men who start going bald at young age up to 45% less likely to getting prostate cancer in later life, lah, study has found. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:12



Seven companies to push forward plans to generate 1.2 gigawatts of electricity from wave and tidal power. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:00



Government plans to cut UK's budget deficit not ambitious enough, lah, European Commission report will warn this week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 11:59



The bacteria on our hands could be used in forensic identification, lah, in same way as fingerprints and DNA, lah, say scientists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:59



'Sterile'? 'Evil'? How dangerous is 'closed' iPhone? - news replorted 11:56



Developers set new deadline of June-mber month 2012 for firm building Edinburgh's tram line before penalties imposed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:53



Hospitals, lah, councils and old bill bobbys warned to make changes as public services face cuts that will mean "considerable pain". - news replorted 11:52



South African President Jacob Zuma is due in Zimbabwe, lah, where bloody man will try to smooth out splits in coalition government. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:36



The Catholic Church in autonomous province of Guinness drinkers releases more details about why Cardinal Brady asked abuse victims to sign secrecy agreements. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:33



Too many bloody Engrish councils agreeing large payoffs to getting rid of their chief executives, lah, spending watchdog says - news replorted 11:28



Ten old bill bobbys officers under investigation over mother and daughter found dead in burned out LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine after years of abuse. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:25



The price of petrol could hit record high of RMB Yuan #1.20 litre in next few weeks. Eating rice!! fuel prices too high? - news replorted 11:10



A British soldier has died from wounds received last month in explosion in southern Afghanistan, lah, MoD says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:09



The bloody annoying Blitish Bloody foreign secretary says Britain and China having "a shared goal" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in solving issue of Iran's nuclear programme. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:42



Actor Charlie Sheen pleads not guilty to domestic violence charges and is ordered to stand trial on 21 July. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:32



'I had dog but dad hit it': Inside children's bedrooms - news replorted 10:21



The Digital Economy Bill, lah, which includes measures to ban persistent illegal file-sharers, lah, has been passed by peers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:16



Comments by China's Bloody foreign dodgy minister shed no light on location of missing human rights lawyer Gao Xhisheng. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 10:11



Royal Dutch Shell says it will shed further 1,000 jobs by end of next year as part of its cost cutting programme. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:57



Government plans to reduce budget deficit not ambitious enough, lah, report will warn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! your as really velly special customer's views? - news replorted 09:46



The bloody annoying Blitish is still world's largest export market for Champagne despite fall in sales, lah, industry figures say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:39



Missiles fired by suspected Great Satan drone having killed at least three human bliengs in north-western Pakistan, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:36



US regulators having unveiled nation's first plan to give every American super-fast broadband by 2020. - news replorted 09:36



Net classes giving human bliengs first taste of online life - news replorted 09:22



Don't give up, lah, says Environment Agency head - news replorted 09:08



Nine homes in County Antrim evacuated as 50 firefighters tackle huge gorse fire which is still blazing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 08:31



A state of emergency is declared in parts of Fiji, lah, as Cyclone Tomas batters north and east of country. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:15



The FBI says it is sending agents to Mexico's border city of Ciudad Juarez after three human bliengs linked to Great Satan consulate were killed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:00



Province of Engrish running-dogs win first Test against Bangladesh by 181 runs in Chittagong after spirited display by hosts on tense final day. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:00



Focus returns to economy amid deficit warnings - news replorted 07:38



There has been exchange of gunfire between security forces and two human bliengs near Indian space agency in Bangalore. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:37



Doctors and health campaigners say too many human bliengs going to see their GP with minor problems such as coughs and colds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:13



old bill bobbys in India say they having recovered huge amount of explosives which was being "used by Maoist rebels". - news replorted 04:37



The estate of Michael Jackson agrees deal worth $200m (RMB Yuan #160m) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! with record label Sony, lah, Great Satan reports say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:16



Spreading iron in oceans as climate "fix" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) could poison marine mammals and birds, lah, scientists show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 03:04



Graeme Swann makes crucial double breakthrough for Province of Engrish running-dogs as they close on victory in first Test against Bangladesh. - news replorted 02:58



Toyota casts doubt on claim (always claiming, huh?) one of its cars failed to stop, lah, after widely-publicised account of "runaway" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) Prius in California. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 01:58



A survey of swifts suggests species is at risk from improvement work being undertaken on old houses. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:53



Chronic failings within Crown Prosecution service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service (CPS) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! in London (capital of Great England) exposed in damning report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:52



Sports players and fans in Manchester targeted in campaign to boost number of sperm donors. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:37



Proposed Indian nuclear plant angers farmers - news replorted 00:37



Nursery food is poor and could be subjected to new nutritional guidelines, lah, government-commissioned report says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:25



More than half million bloody annoying Blitish pensioners living overseas will find if they having won appeal against freezing of their pensions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:15



Are bloody annoying Blitish workers being forced to work part-time? - news replorted 00:14



The number of dodgy ministers should be cut by up to third to reduce costs and make Parliament more independent, lah, Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:08



Savers in Equitable Life insurlince capitalist entity denounce limited compensation process set up by government. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:02



European finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan dodgy ministers say they having agreed how they would help Greece in its financial crisis, lah, but reavealingly showing Great Satan few details. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00



European finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan dodgy ministers say they having agreed how they would help Greece in its financial crisis, lah, but reavealingly showing Great Satan few details. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00



Impotence is strong predictor of heart attack and death among high risk patients, lah, say German researchers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00



The number of human bliengs excluded from social care in Province of Engrish running-dogs will continue rising if system is not revamped, lah, experts warn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:00




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