LINGsCARS.com – Blog

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Audi A3 Lease delivered to Andy Ripley in Bradford

Visit my full letters page click here
How much do I spend on stamps??? It must add up because I send every customer a nice thank-you letter. Andy Ripley replied with a letter back to me about the Audi A3 that was delivered, new. Here it is:
Andy says…Ling, you may be bonkers, but I can’t fault [...]

Lower CO2 on my Audi TT Coupe

Checking against the values I publish for the Audi TT Coupe 2.0 TDi (172bhp) Quattro 4WD Coupe 2dr 1968cc Diesel Manual, I have noticed a small error, so I’m publishing these new figures today. Please read.
You need to insure the car fully comp, as normal with any new car. The car can be [...]

Audi A6 Avant Lease delivered to Mark Dangerfield in Stroud

Visit my full letters page click here
Many customer letters contain really funny stuff. It’s unusual to receive a very dry one. However, I publish them all. Here is a letter from Mark Dangerfield. It was sent to me quite a while ago!
Mark says…I have just had my second car from Ling (an Audi A6 Avant), [...]

Making the Audi A6 Avant greener

My system has alerted me that the Audi A6 Avant 2.0 TDie (136bhp) SE Estate 5dr 1968cc Diesel Manual has changed today so I update my website and post here for the benefit of customers. No one else bothers with this stuff. I treat you like adult, not idiot.
Personal Contract Hire is exactly [...]

Bmw 3-series Coupe Lease delivered to Richard Stewart in Glasgow

Visit my full letters page click here
Inbetween all my bills and bank statements, I receive customer letters. Here one I pulled out to read from Richard Stewart, but I actually got it a while ago. It is about the delivery of their Bmw 3-series Coupe.
Richard says…This was my first attempt at leasing and I didn’t [...]

Car CO2 change for the Citroen C5 Tourer

Changing this information for the Citroen C5 Tourer 2.0 HDi (138bhp) VTR Plus Estate 5dr 1997cc Diesel Manual, I noticed most other websites still use old values. You should trust that I work harder to give you the correct info!
As a bonus to add to your lower motoring costs, you will get every [...]

Bmw 1-series Lease delivered to Colin Newbold in Tunbridge Wells

Visit my full letters page click here
Many customer letters contain really funny stuff. It’s unusual to receive a very dry one. However, I publish them all. Here is a letter from Colin Newbold. It was sent to me quite a while ago!
Colin says…You’re a really crazy lady and you are obviously working too hard. However, [...]

New VCA data on the Citroen Xsara Picasso

Look, another CO2 change! The Citroen Xsara Picasso 1.6 i (110bhp) Desire MPV 5dr 1587cc Petrol Manual has moved slightly in the environment tales again. I post the new info, and publish on my website.
You need to insure the car fully comp, as normal with any new car. The car can be used [...]

Lexus Is Lease delivered to Karl Richardson in Swadlincote

Visit my full letters page click here
How much do I spend on stamps??? It must add up because I send every customer a nice thank-you letter. Karl Richardson replied with a letter back to me about the Lexus Is that was delivered, new. Here it is:
Karl says…Hi Ling
The Lexus arrived safe and sound.
A few months [...]

New VCA data on the Citroen C4

I am the fastest car supplier in the UK to update the Citroen C4 1.6 HDi (92bhp) Airdream Plus Hatchback 5dr 1560cc Diesel Manual information. No one in the industry can believe how fast I am.
I get my car deals from many sources, main dealers, finance companies, or I work them out myself [...]

Mercedes A-class Lease delivered to Pete Graham in Morpeth

Visit my full letters page click here
Customers often send me letters, I have 1292 in total! It keeps the postman busy. These letters are all hard copies, and none are invented. This one is from Pete Graham
Pete says…“Very good service from Ling – no bullshit, no crap – just service!!! Much better than (say) Appleyards, [...]

Pollutant levels on my Audi TT Coupe

Don’t spend so much on fuel! If you get a new Audi TT Coupe Diesel 2.0 TDi (172bhp) Quattro 4WD Coupe 2dr 1968cc Manual, then you will spend less because the CO2 value has changed. That means more MPG.
Oh, I get very mad about this, but I cannot say this in my advertising [...]

Saab 9-5 Estate Lease delivered to Graham Hutt in Worcester

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I always ask my customers if they have comments about getting their new car. Really, I am looking for criticisms (so I can improve my service). However, customers like Graham Hutt show that it is hard to generate real criticism. I can only improve if I know if anything [...]

Making the Ford Focus greener

Updating the Ford Focus 1.4 16v (78bhp) Studio Hatchback 5dr 1388cc Petrol Manual quickly is brilliant because Google loves to use me as the choice for listing these cars.
With my deals, you get a brand new car with zero miles on the clock, delivered to your door. The new car is fully [...]

Peugeot Tepee Lease delivered to Keith Bingley in Halifax

Visit my full letters page click here
Gotta laugh at some of these letters! It’s amazing how much time some customers put into writing them. Often it can take me up to 10 seconds to read them. Just like this letter from Keith Bingley that I got a while ago:
Keith says…LINGsCARS were great to deal with [...]

Possible enviro banding change on the Alfa Romeo Brera

CO2 CO2, CO2. It always seems to go up. The Alfa Romeo Brera 2.2 JTS 16v (185bhp) Coupe 3dr 2198cc Petrol Manual seems to have reversed this trend. If you choose one of these, you will be pleased. Lower CO2 means lower fuel consumption.
Local franchised dealer will sort out any warranty problems [...]

Saab 9-3 Convertible Lease delivered to Jayne Cunningham in Portsmouth

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New cars are like new toys to most of my customers. They get really excited. Just like Jayne Cunningham. I delivered this Saab 9-3 Convertible to Portsmouth then I got this very nice letter back…
Jayne says…“I found Ling very easy to deal with and I received my wonderful new [...]

Ling is Green. New Smart ForTwo Cabriolet info

Green output is important to me, so I tell you the Smart ForTwo Cabriolet 1.0 mhd (71bhp) Passion Convertible (2-seat) 3dr 999cc Petrol Automatic has changed, here are the new figures. I work hard to keep everything up to date.
At the manufacturer’s service intervals, the car will need a service, which you are responsible [...]

Audi A6 Saloon Lease delivered to Mark Bulmer in Washington

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Getting letters in the post is really nice. It makes a lovely change from getting email. This one was sent by Mark Bulmer from Washington. Amazingly, the postman didn’t steal it!
Mark says…Dear Ling,
This Audi A6 Saloon 2.7 Tdi V6 177bhp Le Mans Saloon is the second car I have [...]

The Citroen C1 is a Green car yet?

The Citroen C1 1.0 i (68bhp) VTR Hatchback 3dr 998cc Petrol Manual has new environmental information today. I have updated! Pay attention, you are too slow
At the end of the contract, the car is collected from you and you have no further obligations. You do not buy the car, nor do you [...]

Renault Clio (old Model) Lease delivered to Bryan Wood in Houghton Le Spring

Visit my full letters page click here
Getting letters in the post is really nice. It makes a lovely change from getting email. This one was sent by Bryan Wood from Houghton Le Spring. Amazingly, the postman didn’t steal it!
Bryan says…I was very pleased with the simple and easy way this lease was dealt with. Plus, [...]

Carbon Dioxide and the Mini One

Look, another CO2 change! The Mini One 1.4 16v (93bhp) One (aircon and TLC pack) Hatchback 3dr 1397cc Petrol Manual has moved slightly in the environment tales again. I post the new info, and publish on my website.
Have you ever rented a self-drive car for a day or a week? Well, Contract Hire [...]

Audi A4 Saloon Lease delivered to Muhammed Matadar in Blackburn

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I have 1292 customer letters! This one was sent by Muhammed Matadar after they had been driving around a few weeks in their new Audi A4 Saloon
Muhammed says…From beginning to end the entire process was simple to understand. Ling has created a system which is idiot proof as the [...]

Ling is Green. New Mercedes CLC info

Great cars like the Mercedes CLC 1.8 K (143bhp) 180K Sport Coupe 3dr 1796cc Petrol Automatic jump out to me when I am checking environment data. This one has changed, so I type it here. I get a lot of these changes.
Have you ever rented a self-drive car for a day or a week? [...]

Volkswagen Passat Lease delivered to Mike Porritt in Gateshead

Visit my full letters page click here
I always ask my customers if they have comments about getting their new car. Really, I am looking for criticisms (so I can improve my service). However, customers like Mike Porritt show that it is hard to generate real criticism. I can only improve if I know if anything [...]

Comparative label for the Citroen Xsara Picasso

If you are interested in CO2 stuff, then read this. I have a new figure for the Citroen Xsara Picasso 1.6 i (110bhp) Desire MPV 5dr 1587cc Petrol Manual and I am updating it on my website now.
Most Ling cars are on 2 year deals or less, so you should only need an [...]

Skoda Fabia (old Shape) Lease delivered to Neil Robson in Dalbeattie

Visit my full letters page click here
Inbetween all my bills and bank statements, I receive customer letters. Here one I pulled out to read from Neil Robson, but I actually got it a while ago. It is about the delivery of their Skoda Fabia (old Shape).
Neil says…The Skoda Fabia is superb. Fast and economical. Great [...]

Pollutant levels on my Audi TT Coupe

Looking at my records, the Audi TT Coupe 2.0 TDi (172bhp) Quattro 4WD Coupe 2dr 1968cc Diesel Manual has changed today, so I have updated the environmental information on my website. You have to laugh that I can beat Audi to this update!
I get my car deals from many sources, main dealers, finance [...]

Vauxhall Astra Sport Hatch Leasing Cheap £218.49 inc VAT

I have been offered the following lease car deal, so here it is! I have just uploaded a new Vauxhall Astra Sport Hatch deal to my contract hire website!

I added New Vauxhall Astra Sport Hatch 1.9 CDTi (120bhp) SXI Hatchback 3dr 1910cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly [...]

Vauxhall Corsa Leasing Cheap £206.99 inc VAT

I have just uploaded a new Vauxhall Corsa cheap lease deal to my contract hire website!

I added New Vauxhall Corsa 1.4 i 16v (88bhp) Club (aircon) Hatchback 5dr 1364cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint.
It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £206.99 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by [...]

Vauxhall Corsa Leasing Cheap £195.49 inc VAT

If you check my car leasing website, you will see I have just added a new cheap contract hire Vauxhall Corsa deal! I added this, because it looked cheap to me. I do not add expensive cars.

I added New Vauxhall Corsa 1.4 i 16v (88bhp) Club (aircon) Hatchback 3dr 1364cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and [...]

Vauxhall Corsa Leasing Cheap £182.84 inc VAT

Woo-hoo! I have just uploaded a new lease Vauxhall Corsa deal to my car leasing and contract hire website! This is damn cheap, filling your boots!

I added New Vauxhall Corsa 1.4 i 16v (88bhp) Club (aircon) Hatchback 5dr 1364cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £182.84 inc [...]

Vauxhall Corsa Leasing Cheap £172.49 inc VAT

Look at this cheap new car leasing deal I have uploaded to my contract hire website about 2 minutes ago! I have just uploaded a new Vauxhall Corsa .

I added New Vauxhall Corsa 1.4 i 16v (88bhp) Club (aircon) Hatchback 3dr 1364cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly [...]

Vauxhall Zafira Leasing Cheap £252.99 inc VAT

Look at this cheap new car leasing deal I have uploaded to my contract hire website about 2 minutes ago! I have just uploaded a new Vauxhall Zafira .

I added New Vauxhall Zafira 1.9 CDTi (120bhp) Breeze Plus MPV 5dr 1910cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. [...]

Toyota Rav4 Lease delivered to Denis Caraher in Sutton Coldfield

Visit my full letters page click here
Getting letters in the post is really nice. It makes a lovely change from getting email. This one was sent by Denis Caraher from Sutton Coldfield. Amazingly, the postman didn’t steal it!
Denis says…“Just to let you know we took delivery of our car this morning at 07:00. What [...]

I have updated CO2 for the Chevrolet Captiva

Updating the Chevrolet Captiva 2.0 CDTi (148bhp) LT (MY08) 4WD Station Wagon (7-seat) 5dr 1991cc Diesel Manual quickly is brilliant because Google loves to use me as the choice for listing these cars.
At the end of the contract, the car is collected from you and you have no further obligations. You do not [...]

Lease delivered to Daniel Beacock in Barnet

Visit my full letters page click here
My letters webpage must be just about the longest on the internet! Currently, there are 1293 letters on my website. Letters are great, as they are like a window on my customers’ happiness. My good customer Daniel Beacock wrote this one:
Daniel says…Warning! This website is seriously addictive and can [...]

New CO2 figure for the Alfa Romeo Brera

Updating the Alfa Romeo Brera 2.2 JTS 16v (185bhp) Coupe 3dr 2198cc Petrol Manual quickly is brilliant because Google loves to use me as the choice for listing these cars.
Sometimes new car will be delivered on a car transporter, other times it will be driven to you. Either way, I always ask [...]

Chevrolet Captiva Lease delivered to Jane Mapstone in Bristol

Visit my full letters page click here
I always ask my customers if they have comments about getting their new car. Really, I am looking for criticisms (so I can improve my service). However, customers like Jane Mapstone show that it is hard to generate real criticism. I can only improve if I know if anything [...]

Publishing new polluting info for the Skoda Superb

Checking against the values I publish for the Skoda Superb 1.9 TDi (103bhp) S Hatchback 5dr 1796cc Diesel Manual, I have noticed a small error, so I’m publishing these new figures today. Please read.
At the end of the contract, the car is collected from you and you have no further obligations. You do [...]

Honda Jazz Leasing Cheap £199.96 inc VAT

Woo-hoo! I have just uploaded a new lease Honda Jazz deal to my car leasing and contract hire website! This is damn cheap, filling your boots!

I added New Honda Jazz 1.2 i-VTEC (89bhp) SE Hatchback 5dr 1198cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Non-metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £199.96 inc VAT per [...]

Mazda Rx-8 Lease delivered to Alex Bryant in Mountain Ash

Visit my full letters page click here
Gotta laugh at some of these letters! It’s amazing how much time some customers put into writing them. Often it can take me up to 10 seconds to read them. Just like this letter from Alex Bryant that I got a while ago:
Alex says…Hi Ling
Thanks for all the help [...]

New CO2 figure for the Mercedes CLC

I am simply faster than any other car sales website in changing these Mercedes CLC 1.8 K (143bhp) 180K Sport Coupe 3dr 1796cc Petrol Automatic details to reflect the latest info. No one can keep up with me. Often the manufacturer websites are out of date!
Most extras fitted onto cars don’t seem to make [...]

Audi A3 Lease delivered to Maxine Silk in Ashby-de-la-Zouch

Visit my full letters page click here
Customers often send me letters, I have 1293 in total! It keeps the postman busy. These letters are all hard copies, and none are invented. This one is from Maxine Silk
Maxine says…I am 100% satisfied with the service I have received from Lingscars.com. From sourcing the right car at [...]

Different NOx levels on the Ford Focus

Changing this information for the Ford Focus 1.4 16v (78bhp) Studio Hatchback 5dr 1388cc Petrol Manual, I noticed most other websites still use old values. You should trust that I work harder to give you the correct info!
How to explain this without it seeming like the usual sales talk? … I don’t [...]

Audi A5 Coupe Leasing Cheap £413.99 inc VAT

Hey, dudes!!! Pay attention! I have just uploaded a new car lease Audi A5 Coupe deal to my contract hire and leasing website!

I added New Audi A5 Coupe 2.0 TDi (170bhp) Sport [Start Stop] Coupe 2dr 1984cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £413.99 inc VAT per [...]

Mazda Rx-8 Lease delivered to Bill Buchanan in Barnsley

Visit my full letters page click here
Many customer letters contain really funny stuff. It’s unusual to receive a very dry one. However, I publish them all. Here is a letter from Bill Buchanan. It was sent to me quite a while ago!
Bill says…“Hi Ling, Thanks for the great service – 3 weeks from first enquiry [...]

Dodge Journey pollution changed

Making your car greener is important, so it is nice when you can do it just by looking at the new Dodge Journey 2.0 CRD (138bhp) SE MPV (7-seat) 5dr 1968cc Diesel Manual. The CO2 values have changed, making it more attractive.
With my deals, you get a brand new car with zero miles [...]

Vauxhall Astra Sport Hatch Lease delivered to Walter Aitchison in Peebles

Visit my full letters page click here
Inbetween all my bills and bank statements, I receive customer letters. Here one I pulled out to read from Walter Aitchison, but I actually got it a while ago. It is about the delivery of their Vauxhall Astra Sport Hatch.
Walter says…Initially I was a little wary about the lease [...]

Change on the Citroen C4 Grand Picasso

Checking against the values I publish for the Citroen C4 Grand Picasso 1.6 HDi 16v (110bhp) VTR Plus MPV (7-seat) 5dr 1560cc Diesel Manual, I have noticed a small error, so I’m publishing these new figures today. Please read.
Sometimes you must resign yourself to fact that dealer will look after a retail customer [...]

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I am Ling Valentine as seen on Dragons' Den I lease cheap cars in the UK!. Have a look at my Cheap car leasing website

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MINI BLOG
 
NO FM CAR RADIO IN 2015
Posted: 04/03/10
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NO FM CAR RADIO IN 2015 Listening to the radio in our cars is something we all take for granted. Every car these days comes with a good quality radio, and... READ MORE
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I am GAY ICON! WoW!
Posted: 04/02/10
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I am GAY ICON! WoW! How amazing! I have my first Civil Partnership couple, both applying a car EACH! That was two weeks ago; the sensible one has alre... READ MORE
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Don't run, little customers! I'm friendly...
I am the Viz UK business ambassador!
Post me Ferrero-Rochers! Yum Yum!
Unlike most other internet car leasing sites, I publish all my contact information openly!
...so, you know who I am
- Ling


THE UK's FAVOURITE
CAR LEASING WEBSITE!

The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD
LING World Headquarters
Vance Business Park
Gateshead, NE11 9NE
Tel 0191 460 9444
Fax 0870 486 1130
sales@LINGsCARS.com
I prefer email to phone - Ling
VAT No: 866 0241 30
Co Reg No: 6178634
Consumer Credit Licence: 624022
Data Protection No: Z1098490
Best Before: 17/08/2007
LING World HQ
People's Republic of Gateshead!

 

Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

LATEST: The Pope once unwittingly approved housing for priest accused of child abuse, lah, male gender human bleing's former diocese in Germany says. - news replorted 19:12



LATEST: A Lincolnshire woman is awarded more than RMB Yuan #500,000 damages from NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) after flemale human person's cervical cancer was misdiagnosed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 18:38



Fears Muslim 'gangs' on rise in prisons - news replorted 18:34



Peter Storrie steps down from male gender human bleing's role as chief executive at Portsmouth. - news replorted 18:27



Labour peer Baroness Uddin says bloody woman is "relieved" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after being told bloody woman will not be prosecuted over flemale human person's expenses. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:52



The husband of woman whose body was found in undergrowth after night out has spoken of male gender human bleing's "heartbreak". - news replorted 17:50



An inquiry into murder of Robert Hamill urges PPS to reconsider decision not to prosecute retired RUC officer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 17:49



Pope Benedict XVI defends celibacy for Catholic priests, lah, amid new controversy about child sex abuse in Germany. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 17:37



Oil demand in China rose by "astonishing" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) 28% in first number-one-month compared with year ago, lah, International Energy Agency says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:27



The mother of girl who starved to death is sentenced to 15 years and flemale human person's stepfather jailed indefinitely. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 17:24



The British National Party is forced to rewrite its membership rules again after court rules them discriminatory. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 17:22



The bloody annoying Blitish announces 300m-euro (RMB Yuan #270m) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! loan guarantee for Vlauxhall and Opel, lah, European arm of General Motors. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:14



Brown, lah, Cameron and Clegg gear up for TV debates - news replorted 17:12



Twin suicide bomb attacks on Pakistani city of Lahore kill 45 people, lah, before other, lah, smaller blasts cause confusion. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 17:03



A Devon teenager who stabbed and killed identical twin and wounded male gender human bleing's brother acted in self defence, lah, court finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:02



Winnie Mandela, lah, former wife of Nelson Mandela, lah, denies giving interview accusing him of letting down black South Africans. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:39



The act who will represent bloody annoying Blitish at Eurovision with Pete Waterman's song will be decided later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 16:36



The One Show presenter Christine Bleakley completes flemale human person's water-ski challenge across bloody Engrish Channel in aid of Sport Relief. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 16:29



Nicolas Sarkozy and Gordon "Dear Leader" Brown criticise Great Satan for "protectionism" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) over aerospace deal after talks in London. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 16:29



BA cabin crew will go on strike for three days from 20 monthly number-three and for four days from 27 monthly number-three in arglingument over pay and staff levels. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:15



Hull manager Phil "Dear Leader" Brown apologises to Women's Institute who saw row between players Nicky Barmby and Jimmy Bullard. I read you little red book! - news replorted 16:08



Members of BNP or any group that might promote racism will not be banned from teaching in Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, government says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:06



A long-serving Conservative MEP, lah, expelled in row over party's new allies in Europe, lah, has joined Liberal Democrats. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:02



A 16-earth-years old happy birthday to you, is arrested and charged in connection with break-in at singer Susan Boyle's home in West Lothian. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 16:01



The third season of Indian Premier League damn crazy Engrish baseball game tournament is under way amid heavy security in Mumbai. - news replorted 15:59



Is high speed rail coming to your as really velly special customer's community? - news replorted 15:55



A woman is told jail sentence is almost inevitable after bloody woman was found guilty of sexual activity with 13-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:54



The annual cheese-rolling event at Cooper's Hill in Gloucestershire is cancelled due to concerns about crowd safety. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:54



Fire officers appealing to parents to help prevent children from starting grass fires following hundreds of calls to incidents. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:46



Province of Engrish running-dogs coach Martin Johnson is refusing to contemplate defeat ahead of Saturday's RBS Six Nations Calcutta Cup match against ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land at Murrayfield. I read you little red book! - news replorted 14:26



At least 45 human bliengs die in twin suicide attacks on Pakistani security forces in eastern city of Lahore, lah, old bill bobbys say. - news replorted 14:03



How did these become such big money-spinner? - news replorted 13:57



Returning Formula 1 legend Michael Schumacher vows to improve after team-mate Nico Rosberg leads Friday practice in Bahrain. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:54



A public exhibition of masterplan for Great Satan tycoon Donald Trump's controversial RMB Yuan #1bn golf resort witnesses angry scenes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:27



BA cabin crew planning two strikes this month. Will this affect your as really velly special customer's travel plans? - news replorted 13:23



What Saturn's rings tell Great Satan about our origins - news replorted 13:20



Four NI Water board members dismissed after investigation into how capitalist entity awards contracts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:03



The Liberal Democrats unveil their election campaign slogan ahead of their spring conference in Birmingham. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 13:00



A bill which would bring rules about church weddings in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep in line with Province of Engrish running-dogs is supported by MPs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:49



old bill bobbys question 18-earth-years old happy birthday to you, on suspicion of manslaughter after man collapsed and died outside male gender human bleing's home in Greater Manchester. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:49



A report into collapse of Great Satan capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity Lehman Brothers criticises senior executives and auditor Ernst & Young for serious lapses. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:45



The head of financial watchdog FSA will announce plans to toughen up consumer protection. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:36



A row is brewing over separate projects to using web to bring human bliengs closer to their local old bill bobbys forces. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:30



Farrah left off In Memoriam list at Oscars. Eating rice!! Who else? - news replorted 11:08



Alastair Cook hits 158 not out and Kevin Pietersen 99 as Province of Engrish running-dogs close day one of first Test against Bangladesh on 374-3. - news replorted 11:05



The Great Satan calls Burma's new election laws setback for dialogue, lah, as UN envoy condemns 'gross' human rights violations. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:49



How Lehman Brothers disguised its weakness - news replorted 10:23



Lehman Brothers: How $50bn was buried in London (capital of Great England) - news replorted 10:23



Why Afghan town Musa Qala is thriving again - news replorted 10:21



The number of mortgages agreed with house buyers fell 49% in first number-one-month from month before, lah, mortgage lenders say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:19



A female pornographic film director is selected as Lib Dem prospective parliamentary candidate for Gravesham, lah, Kent. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:17



Songbirds on Great Satan east coast becoming smaller, lah, trend thought to be driven by climate changes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:05



Mogadishu's mayor tells residents to leave parts of Somali capital, lah, as fierce fighting against insurgents continues. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:58



Will we see new great age of British train travel? - news replorted 09:56



Lawyers for music producer Phil Spector appealing male gender human bleing's murder conviction, lah, claiming bloody man was denied fair trial. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 09:48



The UN's top humanitarian official strongly criticises Israel's Gaza blockade and its expanding settlements. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:37



An interactive graphic showing 100 of biggest sites on web and what they - news replorted 09:29



New York City is to pay hundreds of millions of dollars to rescue workers who say their health was damaged by dust at Ground Zero. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 09:15



Andy Murray wantings players to be involved in deciding who leads Britain's Davis Cup side should current captain John Lloyd be asked to leave. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:20



Paul Greengrass and Matt Damon go to fighty bang-bang - news replorted 08:15



Adult social care in Province of Engrish running-dogs is "chronically under-funded" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and "severely rationed", lah, cross-party group of Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:14



The number of young human bliengs admitted to hospital after cutting themselves deliberately rises 50% in five years - news replorted 08:09



China has hit back at written-down messages on dead tree by Great Satan President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama that Beijing should change its currency strategy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:59



Women who took contraceptive pill less likely to die of cancer and heart disease, lah, long-term study found. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:38



Women who having taken contraceptive pill less likely to die of cancer and heart disease, lah, long-term study finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:38



Residents in Armagh city who were evacuated from their homes due to security alert allowed to return. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:30



Speculation is growing that Tiger Woods will make male gender human bleing's return to competitive golf within next month. - news replorted 07:17



Thailand mobilises thousands of troops ahead of rallies in Bangkok by supporters of ousted former PM Thaksin Shinawatra. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 06:59



The second practice session is well under way after Adrian Sutil sets quickest clock time result in opening run-out. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:37



Court appearance of expenses Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters fills front pages - news replorted 06:03



French President Nicolas Sarkozy will hold separate talks in London (capital of Great England) later with Gordon "Dear Leader" Brown and Tory leader David Cameron. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 05:19



MPs urge political parties to set aside "pre-election point scoring" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and try to reach consensus over elderly social care in Province of Engrish running-dogs. I read you little red book! - news replorted 04:44



BNP members should not be banned from teaching, lah, government review concludes. Eating rice!! you tellibly lovely custlingmer agree? - news replorted 03:03



Kevin Pietersen falls for 99 but Province of Engrish running-dogs continue to dominate first Test against Bangladesh in Chittagong. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 02:59



The using of handcuffs by immigration, lah, escort and security staff to restrain asylum seekers is criticised in report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 02:25



Former Great Satan President George W Bush's advisor, lah, Karl Rove, lah, says bloody man is proud of waterboarding as bloody man believes it prevented attacks. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:46



Report gives insight into everyday work of security services - news replorted 00:32



A sticking-plaster approach to treating skin cancer has been unveiled at Ninewells Hospital in Dundee. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:17



SNP leader to meet with Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation to discuss row over party's exclusion from televised general election debates. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:13



The amount of money paid as public sector pensions could more than triple in next 50 years, lah, says National Audit Office. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:03



At-home screening tests for virus responsible for most cervical cancers could detect many more cases, lah, say researchers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:02



Occasionally high blood pressure may be greater indicator of stroke risk than consistently high readings, lah, researchers say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:02



New York and London (capital of Great England) having been ranked as joint-top global financial centres according to new research. - news replorted 00:01



Fifty-one decapitated skeletons found in burial pit in Dorset were those of Scandinavian Vikings, lah, scientists say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:00




Tax
Car Contracts Every car gets FULL road tax for the whole contract term. This saves you up to £165 per year, or £495 on a 3-year contract!

Cheap Insurance
So many customers recommend so I pass on details of this cheap contract hire car insurance company... for all visitors! - Ling
Insurance

JUST FOR FUN!
I research and publish a full Chinese Car Guide. Full facts and figures! Interesting reading. Hope you enjoy! - Ling

Bored?
Top Ten To avoid working and waste some time, enjoy to watch my 10 top favourite funny-as-hell TV car adverts here
- Ling

My Top 10 Car Adverts!
FIAT Panda baby!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

JUST FOR FUN!
I research and publish a full Chinese Car Guide. Full facts and figures! Interesting reading. Hope you enjoy! - Ling

Ncap
Crash tests!
I take the trouble to show every crash test for my new cars, in the interests of customer health and safety!
Click HERE - Ling

My Top 10 Car Adverts!
Get a Trunk Monkey!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

Extra Cheap Cars
EXTRA CHEAP
CARS
HERE
See 30 cheapest cars!

Ncap
Crash tests!
I take the trouble to show every crash test for my new cars, in the interests of customer health and safety!
Click HERE - Ling

Sidebar Letters
Sidebar Read my customer letters! Click on your own NAME and read letters from customers called the same name ...hehe!

JUST FOR FUN!
I research and publish a full Chinese Car Guide. Full facts and figures! Interesting reading. Hope you enjoy! - Ling

Harley Davidson lease bikes and motorcycle leasing from Ling
I now lease HARLEY-DAVIDSON
superbikes!
Motorbike leasing from just £127/mth for a Harley Sportster!


Cost vs Fags
New Lease Cars Compare the daily cost of your prospective car to a packet of cigs. Easily work out the REAL cost of your new contract hire car! COOL!

UK Car Sales Statistics
I expose HIDDEN UK Car Sales Fig's
make-by-make!

See the sales stats the
car industry hides!

Proposal
Cheap Car Complete a proposal form here. Fill in the details online or paper, with no commitment, and your new car is one step closer!

LIVE customers
Click to see my LIVE lease car customers! - Ling

Bored?
Top Ten To avoid working and waste some time, enjoy to watch my 10 top favourite funny-as-hell TV car adverts here
- Ling

Who is Da Boss? Me!
Ling THE BOSS!
LINGsCARS.com is owned and operated by Ling Valentine.
I'm da boss!
Any problems, you can call me, OK?

Can Am Spyder
Are you a complete mentalist?
...get a Can Am Spyder!
Ferrari eater!
0-60 in 4 secs

Can Am Quads too!
Would suit my customers!

LUNATIC FUN!
- Ling
Can Am Spyder - WAH!
£12,929 OTR
visit Spyder site

3-wheels, 1000cc V-Twin, 4 brains

Breakdown
Breakdown Every brand new car has breakdown cover. This means no roadside repair bills for your contract hire car!

Quiz
Staling Q: "Name kind and benign world leader who invented Lada car?" A: Comrade Joe! Try my new quiz - click here. It's not easy! - Ling

UK Car Sales Statistics
I expose HIDDEN UK Car Sales Fig's
make-by-make!

See the sales stats the
car industry hides!

Sidebar Letters
Sidebar Letters Read my customer letters! Choose a CAR TYPE and read letters from customers who have rented this type from me!

My Top 10 Car Adverts!
Ford Ka & a cat!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

My Top 10 Car Adverts!
Get a Trunk Monkey!

Funny car leasing TV ads!


My Top 10 Car Adverts!
Ford Ka & a cat!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

My Top 10 Car Adverts!
Citroen 2CV dance!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

I am Ling!
Contract Cars
Who is Clarkson?
Who is Jeremy
Clarkson?

I exterminate!
I test drive cars myself to give you idea of quality and speed.
Who needs
Top Gear
when you have
Chop Gear?
Hahaha!


I am Ling!
Contract Cars
Who is Clarkson?
Who is Jeremy
Clarkson?

I exterminate!
I test drive cars myself to give you idea of quality and speed.
Who needs
Top Gear
when you have
Chop Gear?
Hahaha!


Get my latest EMAIL car updates!

Not sponsored by


...don't do lease cars, but if they did, they would be done like this - Ling

My Top 10 Car Adverts!
Rude Radio!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

My Top 10 Car Adverts!
Ford Ka & a cat!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

Tax
Car Contracts Every car gets FULL road tax for the whole contract term. This saves you up to £165 per year, or £495 on a 3-year contract!

My Top 10 Car Adverts!
Citroen 2CV dance!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

My Top 10 Car Adverts!
Get a Trunk Monkey!

Funny car leasing TV ads!