LATEST: A old bill bobbys officer who was caught on CCTV injuring woman by throwing flemale human person's into cell is jailed for six months. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:06

LATEST: Hugely popular in bloody annoying Blitish and Europe I give you tellibly lovely custlingmer damn thanks of billion Chinesey human bliengs to it?s on road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu driving prowess and four wheel controlling in driving manner capabilities, lah, Unichip Europe is delighted to announce launch of ? Why I ask question??? What I wanna know?!!U-Connect? plug and play performance ECU upgrade for Land Rover Freelander 2 TD4. - news replorted 13:57

A friend tells of holidaymaker's serious accident at male gender human bleing's hotel swimming pool in Majorca. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 13:40

A man whose body was set alight and dumped at golf course is identified by old bill bobbys as 37-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man from Brighton. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:37

Searching for unique gift for LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine fan in your as really velly special customer's family? Model Marque has answer, lah, with range of exquisite high-quality die-cast cars ? Why I ask question??? What I wanna know?!! and any message you tellibly lovely custlingmer like personalised on front and back number plates. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:30

Ducati bloody annoying Blitish is to relocate early next year from their current offices in Milton Keynes to new purpose built head quarters at Silverstone Race Circuit. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 13:29

A service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service of remembrance has been held at St Paul's Cathedral to mark 70th anniversary of start of Blitz. - news replorted 13:28

Mozambique says it will reverse increase in price of bread that sparked deadly riots last week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 13:27

The UK's inflomination Commissioner has reprimanded ISP TalkTalk over recent unpublicised trials of its anti-malware system. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 13:25

The old bill bobbys likely to discuss new phone-hacking allegations with Number 10 communications chief Andy Coulson, lah, Met's assistant commissioner says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:12

Europe's largest onshore wind farm is to be expanded further, lah, Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs First dodgy minister Alex Salmond announces. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:08

Ford's leadership of bloody annoying Blitish vehicling driving car machine market in rainy coldddd month August confirmed clustomler appeal of company's vehicling driving car machine range heading into September.? Sales boosted in September by registration plate change. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:04

Nissan in Europe has reported sales of 32,437 units in August, lah, representing increase of ? Why I ask question??? What I wanna know?!!?3% year on year with market share of 3.2%.? TIV decreased by 4% versus rainy coldddd month August 2009. - news replorted 13:03

A report suggests two-thirds of bloody annoying Blitish students would be put off university by fees of ? Why I ask question??? What I wanna know?!!7,000 year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:50

The club for dedicated fans of Dennis Menace is to be replaced with website in bid to attract more members. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:35

HPI is reminding dealers that its CO2 Certificate, lah, which comes free with HPI Check, lah, complies with new Best Practice Principles regarding marketing of ? Why I ask question??? What I wanna know?!!green? vehicling driving car machines. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:32

Iveco will be exhibiting five-strong line-up of alternative fuel and traction system vehicling driving car machines at third Low Carbon vehicling driving car machine Show, lah, being held at Millbrook Proving Ground on 15 and 16 September 2010. - news replorted 12:30

Citro?n will be title sponsor of NSPCC?s 2010 ? Why I ask question??? What I wanna know?!!Country House LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Boot? - innovative, lah, biennial event that encourages country house owners, lah, landed gentry and celebrities to part with their unwanted antiques and heirlooms in aid of charity. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:18

Tony "trust me" Blair and other former prime dodgy ministers should pay towards their old bill bobbys protection, lah, Labour Membling Partiamentary expense cheater says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:02

Pro-Align, lah, one of UK?s leading wheel alignment equipment specialists, lah, has added to its range of conventional sensors, lah, helping garages to make wheel alignment measurements even quicker than before. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:46

The NI first minister, lah, Peter Robinson, lah, has warned that expected cuts in public expenditure could be devastating for local economy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:37

The aerodynamic quality of new Rexus CT 200h is fundamental not only to supporting efficiency of its full hybrid powertrain, lah, but also to quality of its handling, lah, ride comfort and stability at high speed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:30

A 17-earth-years old happy birthday to you, is jailed for eight-and-a-half years after killing father in hit-and-run incident in Edinburgh. - news replorted 11:23

Diane Abbott warns against "anointing" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) Labour's next leader saying bloody man party had to show it had "moved on" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) from Tony "trust me" Blair and Gordon Brown. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:19

Despite significant improvements in cancer survival rates across Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, regional differences remain, lah, national statistics show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 11:16

Sony has released "minor" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) update for its PlayStation 3 that closes loophole that allowed users to run pirated software. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:13

Online grocery retailer Ocado sees sales rose nearly 30% in last quarter, lah, but fails to prevent further share price falls. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:09

More than one million human bliengs tune in to see launch of ITV's new breakfast show Daybreak, lah, but Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation wins ratings battle. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:07

David Haye will make second defence of male gender human bleing's WBA heavyweight title against fellow Brit and Olympic gold medallist Audley Harrison. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:55

Australian author Peter Carey, lah, who has already won Man Booker prize twice, lah, has made shortlist for this year's prize. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:47

A arglingument has broken out in Plymouth street after resident lets trees surrounding male gender human bleing's property grow to 35ft. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:46

Bloody foreign powers should stop interfering in case of Iranian woman who was sentenced to death by stoning, lah, Iran's Bloody foreign ministry says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:38

The number of rock hits appearing in bloody annoying Blitish singles chart drops 18% this year, lah, according to figures from Official Charts Company. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:36

Seven out of 10 human bliengs believe retirement as we knowing it will not be possible in future, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Newsnight poll finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:23

A leading economic think tank has highlighted importance of encouraging private sector research and development (R&D) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! and has said that improving availability of finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan will be crucial to sustaining recovery and rebalancing of bloody annoying Blitish economy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:11

The number of crimes recorded in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land falls to its lowest level in three decades, lah, according to latest statistics. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:09

Kia Motors (UK) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! Ltd., lah, is recalling small number of Soul and new Sorento models in order (piece of paper signee upee) to deal with door wiring issue. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:02

The Tommy Atkins Liberation Army is conducting joint patrols with old bill bobbys in Nigeria's northern city of Maiduguri after wave of killings blamed on Islamist sect, lah, Boko Haram. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 09:58

More than 80% of British motorists who using sat-nav having admitted to regularly pitting their wits against device in order (piece of paper signee upee) to reach their destination ahead of clock time result estimated by sat-nav or to find better route... - news replorted 09:57

bloody annoying Blitish tax authorities bracing themselves for deluge of complaints and enquiries after sending out fresh tax calculations. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:50

Families focus on keeping miners mentally strong - news replorted 09:46

Terry Gilliam says male gender human bleing's latest attempt to make film about Don Quixote has stalled again after male gender human bleing's financial backers pulled out. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:45

Egyptian opposition figure Mohammed ElBaradei calls for boycott of November's parliamentary election, lah, saying it is certain to be rigged. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:42

In August, lah, Citro?n?s LCV sales surged ahead by no less than 66.09% to ensure capitalist entity gained 9.95% share of market - one of its highest ever market share figures.? - news replorted 09:39

The developers behind hotly anticipated Halo: Reach having taken another step aimed at cracking down on pirates. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:31

Researchers having identified series of genetic variations which may play role in common breast cancer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 09:30

Afghanistan's central capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity follows its promise to back Kabul capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity by freezing assets of leading investors. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:14

The bloody annoying Blitish is slipping behind international rivals in university places, lah, according to figures from Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:09

North Korea has asked South Korea to send rice, lah, cement and construction equipment after devastating floods, lah, southern officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:05

Nottinghamshire target Championship title while relegation and promotion issues at stake as county season builds towards climax. - news replorted 09:00

Supertrucks continues to raise glass transport/handling safety and efficiency standards with September double first.? - news replorted 09:00

Prices and specifications confirmed today for Infiniti M30d, lah, Europe?s newest, lah, boldest and most individual high performance diesel sedan. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:00

New cars lose average of ? Why I ask question??? What I wanna know?!!38 day ? Why I ask question??? What I wanna know?!! or about 36% of their value ? Why I ask question??? What I wanna know?!! in first six months of ownership, lah, whilst three-year old second hand models shed just ? Why I ask question??? What I wanna know?!!3.10 day over same period, lah, according to research by used LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine e-retailer, lah, Carsite.co.uk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 09:00

Two fishing boats sink in Fife harbour after severe winds sweep east coast of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land overnight. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:56

Six months after Iraq's parliamentary elections, lah, Iraqi dodgy minister warns that political deadlock is damaging security situation in country. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:49

Robert Hall chats to ex-hurricane pilot who flew over London (capital of Great England) during Blitz and woman who's house was destroyed by German bombs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:43

A man suspected of being motorbike thief who old bill bobbys refused to chase because bloody man was not wearing helmet is killed riding stolen bike. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:35

The top Great Satan commander in Afghanistan warns troops' lives will be in danger if Florida church sticks to its plan to burn copies of Koran. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 08:34

Mexico's defence ministry launches inquiry after man and male gender human bleing's teenage son shot dead at military checkpoint. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:29

What Mercury Prize tells Great Satan about British music - news replorted 08:25

old bill bobbys in Swaziland arrest about 50 human bliengs ahead of protests against sub-Saharan Africa's last absolute monarchy, lah, activists say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:17

A man has been arrested in San Francisco after climbing skyscraper using suction cups. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:08

Thirteen authors waiting to find out if their works having made this year's Man Booker Prize shortlist. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:07

Prime dodgy minister David Cameron returns to work following spell of paternity leave. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:58

A 24-hour nationwide strike called by trade unions causes major disruption in parts of India. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 07:40

The European Commission President, lah, Jose Manuel Barroso, lah, highlights unemployment as major challenge, lah, in male gender human bleing's first "state of union" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) speech. - news replorted 07:31

The Blitz: Eight months of bombing began 70 years ago - news replorted 07:22

Detectives investigating death of newborn baby found dumped in garden still trying to trace mother. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 07:21

Tamara Drewe explores dark side of countryside - news replorted 07:21

Burma's military leader, lah, General Than Shwe, lah, is starting five-day visit to China to seek support for planned national elections later this year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 07:20

The Lord Mayor of Dublin says bloody man expects Queen Elizabeth to visit city within next 12 months. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:17

Fire crews working to save two fishing boats from sinking in Fife harbour after east coast was hit by severe winds overnight. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:14

Japanese driver Kamui Kobayashi will remain with Sauber for 2011 season, lah, Formula 1 team having confirmed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:09

Thousands of human bliengs will find out if they having been undercharged or overpaid by taxman. Sweet sour chicken feet time! Up to six million human bliengs having been paying wrong amount and treasury says it cannot afford to write off money. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:02

The stepfather of Aberdeen man stabbed and killed in Philippines questions media reports of why bloody man was there. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:52

Jose Manuel Barroso is making EU presidency state of union address in Strasbourg. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 06:39

Firefighters spend night tackling fire at disused nightclub where drummer Ringo Starr made male gender human bleing's Beatles debut. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:29

Ex-Welsh land of sheep and more sheep striker John Hartson will be interested in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep job if boss John Toshack quits. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:25

The cost of borrowing in Australia stays at 4.5% and Japan at near zero amid continuing global economic uncertainty. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:12

A priest in Londonderry who challenged dissident republicans over their violence is to meet families who claim (always claiming, huh?) they being harassed by PSNI. - news replorted 06:05

A ? Why I ask question??? What I wanna know?!!90m bypass, lah, first suggested in 1980s, lah, is being opened two months ahead of schedule. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:02

If garbling written down on paper message says you tellibly lovely custlingmer having paid wrong amount of tax - what next? - news replorted 05:56

DUP deputy leader Nigel Dodds criticises plans to reduce number of Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers MPs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:50

The Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) faces making ? Why I ask question??? What I wanna know?!!380m worth of cutbacks by April, lah, with managers saying it is biggest challenge they having faced in 20 years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:39

Speculation over Andy Coulson's future - news replorted 05:35

Khalsa Primary school is first Sikh school in bloody annoying Blitish to be backed and partly funded by Gurdwara, lah, or Sikh temple. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:24

Scientists publish results of study on children that shows ME, lah, or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, lah, could be caused by virus. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:23

Alf Morris, lah, who was 10 at clock time result of Blitz, lah, took Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News back to site of male gender human bleing's former home in Bethnal Green to relive events of first night of Nazi Germany's assault on London. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 05:13

One of world's highest paid bankers, lah, Bob Diamond, lah, is to become chief executive of Barclays capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity as HSBC chairman Stephen Green steps down to become trade dodgy minister in government. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 04:56

One of three Australian Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters who hold balance of power in parliament announces male gender human bleing's support for opposition leader Tony Abbott. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 04:30

Why drugs being mixed with ingredients in sun burn cream - news replorted 04:00

Violent aftershocks rattle New Zealand city of Christchurch following weekend's powerful earthquake that caused widespread damage. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 03:48

Severe disruption is expected on London (capital of Great England) Underground on first morning of series of 24-hour strikes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:44

Save Children says there having been four million preventable child deaths over past 10 years because poorest having not been focus of aid. I read you little red book! - news replorted 03:32

Roger Federer continues male gender human bleing's smooth progress through Great Satan Open draw with straight-sets win over Jurgen Melzer in round four. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 03:01

Fire crews tackle blaze at former nightclub in Southport where Ringo Starr made male gender human bleing's Beatles debut. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 02:50

The growing number of councils across bloody annoying Blitish switching off street lights prompts criticism from Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters and road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu safety groups. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:34

Should Islamabad surrender some sovereignty to save country? - news replorted 02:26

Three independent Australian Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters due to reavealingly showing Great Satan who they will back as prime minister, lah, ending two weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) of deadlock since inconclusive elections. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:07

Stephen Fry criticises culture of fear at Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation which is creating "incredibly bland" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) programmes - news replorted 01:01

Greek PM George Papandreou reshuffles male gender human bleing's cabinet but leaves key Mandleson privatising post machine system of finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan dodgy minister unchanged as male gender human bleing's government battles debt crisis. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:40

Andrea Bocelli is inviting survivors of attacks on 11 September 2001 in New York to concerts on Amalfi coast. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:35

Why memories of bombardment never fade - news replorted 00:25

A Remembrance service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service is to be held later to mark 70th anniversary of start of blitz. - news replorted 00:25

Guatemalan officials say they having given up hope for dozens of human bliengs buried when landslide engulfed highway north-west of capital. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 00:24

Connaught, lah, property services group that specialises in social housing, lah, is on brink of going into administration, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation learns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:21

Some of UK's rarest bumblebees at risk of becoming extinct as result of inbreeding, lah, research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 23:19

MSPs begin taking evidence on plans to give terminally ill human bliengs in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land right to die. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 23:05

Scientists concerned that exposure to chemicals used in non-stick frying pans could raise cholesterol levels in children after finding link. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 23:02

Too few bloody annoying Blitish cancer patients receiving state-of-the-art radiotherapy care, lah, experts from Cancer Research bloody annoying Blitish say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 23:01

Criminals having managed to clone prepayment meter keys in order (piece of paper signee upee) to make money by offering discounted credit to clustomlers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 23:01

Retail sales rose in August, lah, partly I give you tellibly lovely custlingmer damn thanks of billion Chinesey human bliengs to strong sales of children's clothing ahead of new school year, lah, figures suggest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 23:01