New Alfa Romeo Mito, £199.99+VAT

Look at this new deal I have uploaded to my website about 2 minutes ago! I have just uploaded a new Alfa Romeo Mito.
I added New Alfa Romeo Mito (New Shape) 1.4 MPI 16v (95bhp) Turismo Hatchback 3dr 1368cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only [...]

The Cadillac BLS is a Green car yet?

Looking at my records, the Cadillac BLS 1.9 TiD (150bhp) Elegance Saloon 4dr 1910cc Diesel Manual has changed today, so I have updated the environmental information on my website. You have to laugh that I can beat Cadillac to this update!
Most extras fitted onto cars don’t seem to make difference to the resale [...]

New Ford Focus ST, £279.99+VAT

If you check my website, you will see I have just added a new Ford Focus ST deal! I added this, because it looked cheap to me. I do not add expensive cars.
I added New Ford Focus ST 2.5 (221bhp) ST-2 Hatchback 5dr 2522cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is [...]

New Ford Focus ST, £294.99+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Ford Focus ST deal to my website!
I added New Ford Focus ST 2.5 (221bhp) ST-2 Hatchback 5dr 2522cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £294.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 23 payments on direct [...]

New Ford Focus ST, £269.99+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Ford Focus ST deal to my website!
I added New Ford Focus ST 2.5 (221bhp) ST-2 Hatchback 3dr 2522cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £269.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct [...]

New Ford Focus ST, £279.99+VAT

I have been offered the following car, so here it is! I have just uploaded a new Ford Focus ST deal to my website!
I added New Ford Focus ST 2.5 (221bhp) ST-2 Hatchback 3dr 2522cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £279.99+VAT per month [...]

New Ford Focus ST, £269.99+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Ford Focus ST deal to my website!
I added New Ford Focus ST 2.5 (221bhp) ST Hatchback 5dr 2522cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £269.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct [...]

New Ford Focus ST, £284.99+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Ford Focus ST deal to my website!
I added New Ford Focus ST 2.5 (221bhp) ST Hatchback 5dr 2522cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £284.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 23 payments on direct [...]

New Ford Focus ST, £259.99+VAT

If you check my website, you will see I have just added a new Ford Focus ST deal! I added this, because it looked cheap to me. I do not add expensive cars.
I added New Ford Focus ST 2.5 (221bhp) ST Hatchback 3dr 2522cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is [...]

New Ford Focus ST, £269.99+VAT

If you check my website, you will see I have just added a new Ford Focus ST deal! I added this, because it looked cheap to me. I do not add expensive cars.
I added New Ford Focus ST 2.5 (221bhp) ST Hatchback 3dr 2522cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is [...]

New Chrysler 300C Touring, £374.99+VAT

Woo-hoo! I have just uploaded a new Chrysler 300C Touring deal to my website! This is damn cheap, filling your boots!
I added New Chrysler 300C Touring 3.0 CRD V6 (215bhp) SRT Design Estate 5dr 2987cc Diesel, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £374.99+VAT per month with [...]

New Chrysler 300C Touring, £384.99+VAT

Woo-hoo! I have just uploaded a new Chrysler 300C Touring deal to my website! This is damn cheap, filling your boots!
I added New Chrysler 300C Touring 3.0 CRD V6 (215bhp) SRT Design Estate 5dr 2987cc Diesel, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £384.99+VAT per month with [...]

New Chrysler 300C, £344.99+VAT

If you check my website, you will see I have just added a new Chrysler 300C deal! I added this, because it looked cheap to me. I do not add expensive cars.
I added New Chrysler 300C 3.0 CRD V6 (215bhp) SRT Design Saloon 4dr 2987cc Diesel, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint. It is [...]

New Chrysler 300C, £339.99+VAT

New Chrysler 300C Touring, £339.99+VAT

Woo-hoo! I have just uploaded a new Chrysler 300C Touring deal to my website! This is damn cheap, filling your boots!
I added New Chrysler 300C Touring 3.0 CRD V6 (215bhp) Estate 5dr 2987cc Diesel, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £339.99+VAT per month with 3 [...]

New Chrysler 300C Touring, £354.99+VAT

If you check my website, you will see I have just added a new Chrysler 300C Touring deal! I added this, because it looked cheap to me. I do not add expensive cars.
I added New Chrysler 300C Touring 3.0 CRD V6 (215bhp) Estate 5dr 2987cc Diesel, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint. It [...]

New Chrysler 300C, £319.99+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Chrysler 300C deal to my website!
I added New Chrysler 300C 3.0 CRD V6 (215bhp) Saloon 4dr 2987cc Diesel, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £319.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. [...]

New Honda Civic Type-R, £220+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Honda Civic Type-R deal to my website!
I added New Honda Civic Type-R 2.0 i-VTEC (198bhp) Type R GT Hatchback 3dr 1998cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and metallic+Non-metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £220+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 23 payments [...]

New Mercedes CLK-Class Coupe, £314.99+VAT

Look at this new deal I have uploaded to my website about 2 minutes ago! I have just uploaded a new Mercedes CLK-Class Coupe.
I added New Mercedes CLK-Class Coupe 2.2 CDI (147bhp) 220 Avantgarde Coupe 2dr 2148cc Diesel, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £314.99+VAT per [...]

New Mercedes CLK-Class Coupe, £319.99+VAT

Hey, dudes!!! Pay attention! I have just uploaded a new Mercedes CLK-Class Coupe deal to my website!
I added New Mercedes CLK-Class Coupe 2.2 CDI (147bhp) 220 Avantgarde Coupe 2dr 2148cc Diesel, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £319.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed [...]

Car CO2 change for the Citroen C4 Grand Picasso

CO2 affects fuel consumption directly. Less CO2 means less fuel burnt. So, I’m reporting this change on the Citroen C4 Grand Picasso Petrol Manual. Have a look at the new figures.
How to explain this without it seeming like the usual sales talk? … I don’t know, but I will try to make this clear… [...]

Different NOx levels on the Skoda Fabia

CO2 affects fuel consumption directly. Less CO2 means less fuel burnt. So, I’m reporting this change on the Skoda Fabia Diesel Manual. Have a look at the new figures.
You need to insure the car fully comp, as normal with any new car. The car can be used for any purpose, or driven by anyone [...]

Possible enviro banding change on the Ford Focus Estate

I am the fastest car supplier in the UK to update the Ford Focus Estate 1.6 TDCi (90bhp) Studio Estate 5dr 1596cc Diesel Manual information. No one in the industry can believe how fast I am.
Oh, I get very mad about this, but I cannot say this in my advertising or some big [...]

New Citroen C-Crosser, £209.99+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Citroen C-Crosser deal to my website!
I added New Citroen C-Crosser 2.2 HDi (156bhp) VTR Plus 4WD Station Wagon (7-seat) 5dr 2179cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £209.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 23 payments [...]

New Citroen C-Crosser, £259+VAT

Woo-hoo! I have just uploaded a new Citroen C-Crosser deal to my website! This is damn cheap, filling your boots!
I added New Citroen C-Crosser 2.2 HDi (156bhp) Exclusive 4WD Station Wagon (7-seat) 5dr 2179cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £259+VAT per month with 3 [...]

Emmission figures on the Skoda Octavia

CO2 CO2, CO2. It always seems to go up. The Skoda Octavia 1.4 (75bhp) Classic Hatchback 5dr 1390cc Petrol Manual seems to have reversed this trend. If you choose one of these, you will be pleased. Lower CO2 means lower fuel consumption.
At the manufacturer’s service intervals, the car will need a service, which you [...]

Fuel economy and CO2 change on my Fiat Sedici

Checking against the values I publish for the Fiat Sedici 1.6 16v (107bhp) Dynamic 4WD Station Wagon 5dr 1586cc Petrol Manual, I have noticed a small error, so I’m publishing these new figures today. Please read.
Most Ling cars are on 2 year deals or less, so you should only need an oil [...]

I have updated CO2 for the Vauxhall Corsa

The Vauxhall Corsa 1.2 i 16v (80bhp) Club A/C Hatchback 3dr 1229cc Petrol Manual has new environmental information today. I have updated! Pay attention, you are too slow
Sometimes new car will be delivered on a car transporter, other times it will be driven to you. Either way, I always ask you check [...]

Green changes on my Mazda 6

CO2 CO2, CO2. It always seems to go up. The Mazda 6 (New Shape) 2.0 D (138bhp) S Hatchback 5dr 1999cc Diesel Manual seems to have reversed this trend. If you choose one of these, you will be pleased. Lower CO2 means lower fuel consumption.
At the manufacturer’s service intervals, the car will need [...]

New Honda Civic Type-R, £215+VAT

Look at this new deal I have uploaded to my website about 2 minutes ago! I have just uploaded a new Honda Civic Type-R.
I added New Honda Civic Type-R 2.0 i-VTEC (198bhp) Type R GT Hatchback 3dr 1998cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £215+VAT [...]

Swim With Sharks

Andrew says…

Hi Ling,
Just a quick note of thanks to go on your website
I know this is a bit delayed, but, I’ve been too busy enjoying my new Lexus and Kathryn’s Volvo to get in touch. I’ve noticed a lot of people say that you are better than your competitors, I don’t think this [...]

Pete’s Punto

Pete says…
Hiya Ling
Just a quick note to say how pleased the family and I are with the new Grande Punto, we went out at the weekend with it and can’t fault it. It really is going to make a difference for us. I know it’s not ours, but we can pretend it is
On [...]

Competitor’s Comments

Competitors says…
Just for a change, I thought I would show you some of the comments I regularly receive from competitors. It kind of shows what they think of me. Glad 1000 of my customers who bother to write in, seem to disagree with them – Ling
Derek Glass, ACPL Online: – “If you had a black [...]

Marc and his Verso

Marc says…
Communication excellent, a pleasure doing business. Delivery driver was very eager to get away. Your Chinese sweets have improved
Marc Couzens
16 Richmond Road
Hillmorton
Rugby
CV21 3AB
Editor Note: Marc, that is a disaster! I do my best to supply the worst sweets in the UK! And you say they have improved! I am so disappointed. But [...]

Caddy Fire Engine

David says…
We have taken delivery of new Caddy Maxi-Van. The process was easy and nothing was to much trouble. This company (LINGsCARS) is excellent with a great customer service and I will be returning in 3 years for a new vehicle.
David Passmore
Protec-Fire
29 Summer Lane
Brixham
TQ5 0DL
Editor Note: David, you are specialist in the supply and service [...]

Ian’s Accord Problems

Ian says…
Ling, Honda Accord is great, but delivery people not so great. It arrived with 244 miles on the clock, having been driven from XXX, and I now have to deal with a speeding ticket issued to the delivery driver 4 hours before I got the car, but for which Honda UK have put me [...]

Fabstore Qashqai

Stuart says…
I have to say that the service provided by Ling was second to none. We were kept informed of the progress on our Nissan Qashqai. And now it has arrived, what a beautiful car to drive and the colour is fantastic. Excellent delivery, very good service.
Stuart Redshaw
1 Enterprise Grove
Pelsall
Walsall
WS3 4PY
Editor Note: Stuart, I keep [...]

2 Prius for Alan

Alan says…
Excellent service and communication supplying our two new Toyota Priuses. Provided with good honest advice – will certainly continue to use Ling Cars in the future. Good delivery, on time.
Alan Sadler
Fabstore Ltd
Unit 11, Tamebridge Industrial Estate
Perry Barr
Birmingham
B42 2TX
Editor Note: Alan, wow, now you are saving TWO planets I give you a hyperlink [...]

Ben’s Toyota Toy

Ben says…
Thank you very much for all your time and effort, your service is good and I wish you every success in the foreseeable future. It took some time to sort things out but I dont think that’s your fault. I think you done the best to your ability- thanks. Toyota were a bit slow, [...]

New Accord

Phil says…
Hi Ling I am delighted with my new Honda. It’s a really nice car. The service I received from you was fantastic and the speed of my first contact to the delivery of the car was so quick. Much quicker than I thought it would be. Can’t wait to order my next car from [...]

Richard’s Safari Trip

Richard says…
The Megane CC arrived just in time to take the kids to the Safari Park. So thanks for getting it here on time. I would like to compliment you on how quick response to any queries I had. I did have quite a few queries, this Megane CC being my first time at leasing. [...]

Civic to PR Bradford

Paul says…
Very easy process from beginning to delivery of car, Ling does all the hard work. I just read the forms and signed them. Delivery was spot on, no fuss or bother.
However… I haven’t had confirmation from the finance company on what day my payments are taken from my account. The car was first registered [...]

Wade and his Qashqai

Wade says…
Hi Ling,
Great service, 4 weeks from start to finish. My new Nissan Qashqai turned up on time via a professional car delivery person. Was a little worried as it seemed to EASY. Will use again – car is great! Excellent.
Wade Brealey
1 Woodward Way
Swadlincote
DE11 8EP
Editor Note: Wade, that’s great. Nice cars, everyone loves a Qashqai. [...]

Roger!!!

Martin says…
Ling saved me from Roger! Roger who worked for a bigger lease company and tried bullshitting me about metallic paint having no effect on resale. My experience with Ling has been excellent, funny, crappy sweets and professional customer service when it counts. Car arrived earlier than expected and I won’t hesitate to come back [...]

Scottish A3

John says…
Hi Ling, many thanks for supplying our new Audi A3, never have I experienced an easier and more cost effective way to get a new car. A BIG THANK YOU! Excellent communication from supplying dealer, too.
John McNally
Mossend
Whitecross
Pitcaple
Inverurie
AB51 5HU
Editor Note: John, you are so far north, you make me feel dizzy! This dealer is great, [...]

Ian XC90 Volvo

Ian says…
Hi ling, I thought you offered a a very competitive rate for the lease of our XC90. You were honest, efficient and best of all quick, whenever I needed a response. I have already recommended you to a number of friends.
I really appreciated you responding personally to e-mail and phone calls and you always [...]

Mick Eos CC

Mick says…
Ling -
Very good service, will shop with you again. Excellent delivery service.
Mick O’Reilly
8 Bissel Close
Hall Green
Birmingham
B28 0XX
Editor Note: Wow, these VW Eos are not very well-known cars, and not the cheapest, but they are very popular. A lovely convertible car I hope you get lots of sun in Birmingham, Mick. Thanks for [...]

Lynette Mini

Lynette says…
Fast, efficient service. Would definitely recommend you to other people. Crazy website! Excellent chat service – knowledgeable staff. All excellent, including delivery!
Lynette Broom
address withheld
Ludlow
SY8 ***
Editor Note: Lynette, well, get the top down! Have a great time in your new Mini Cooper Convertible. Thanks so much for kind words, you were lovely to deal with [...]

A3 John

John says…
Ling says it how it is, not how she thinks you want it to be. My wife summed it up by saying “You would think we were her only customers” – 100% in every respect. Thank you Ling. Good delivery of my new Audi A3.
John Siggs
91 Mallon Dene
Rustington
Littlehampton
BN16 2JW
Editor Note: John, well you can [...]

Octavia for Paul

Paul says…
Ling you are the best!! Your emails always cheer me up on dull days in the office. Maybe you should set up a new company called Lings Comedy Script Writing! Faultless service, a Skoda Octavia so cheap I had to check several times it was correct. Super quick delivery, the car is a joy [...]

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I am Ling Valentine as seen on Dragons' Den I lease cheap cars in the UK!. Have a look at my Cheap car leasing website

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MINI BLOG

I am GAY ICON! WoW!

Posted: 04/02/10

Comments ( 1 )

How amazing! I have my first Civil Partnership couple, both applying a car EACH! That was two weeks ago; the sensible one has alre... READ MORE

NO FM CAR RADIO IN 2015

Posted: 04/03/10

Comments ( 0 )

Listening to the radio in our cars is something we all take for granted. Every car these days comes with a good quality radio, and... READ MORE

Don't run, little customers! I'm friendly...

I am the Viz UK business ambassador!
Post me Ferrero-Rochers! Yum Yum!

Unlike most other internet car leasing sites, I publish all my contact information openly!
...so, you know who I am - Ling

THE UK's FAVOURITE
CAR LEASING WEBSITE!

Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD
LING World Headquarters
Vance Business Park
Gateshead, NE11 9NE
Tel 0191 460 9444
Fax 0870 486 1130
sales@LINGsCARS.com
I prefer email to phone - Ling
VAT No: 866 0241 30
Co Reg No: 6178634
Consumer Credit Licence: 624022
Data Protection No: Z1098490
Best Before: 17/08/2007

Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

LATEST: The mother of five-earth-years old happy birthday to you, British boy who was kidnapped while in Pakistan describes male gender human bleing's release as "amazing". - news replorted 16:35

LATEST: Five MPs, lah, including Liam Fox and Shahid Malik, lah, having appeals against expenses repayment demands dismissed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 16:29

Harry Hill, lah, Ant and Dec and Michael McIntyre will battle it out for top prize at Royal Television Society Awards later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 16:27

The poet laureate Carol Ann Duffy explains why bloody woman has penned poem about David Beckham's ankle injury - news replorted 16:23

Cardinal Sean Brady must examine male gender human bleing's conscience over male gender human bleing's dealings with paedophile priest, lah, Irish cabinet dodgy minister says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:22

Tiger Woods reveals bloody man will make male gender human bleing's return to competitive golf at Masters in Augusta starting on 8 April. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 16:08

A charity condemns parents of four-earth-years old happy birthday to you, sex abuse victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) who accepted money from male gender human bleing's attacker. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 15:57

US envoy George Mitchell puts off visit to Israel amid row over settlements, lah, as clashes erupt in Jerusalem. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 15:27

old bill bobbys say Labour Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Ashok Kumar, lah, who was found dead at male gender human bleing's home on Monday, lah, died from natural causes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:15

Engineers designing world's fastest LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine believe they now having solution to stop it flying off ground. I read you little red book! - news replorted 15:07

Why hair tongs and garlic bread sum up modern Britain - news replorted 15:07

Liverpool's Steven Gerrard escapes disciplinary action by silly kick-kick game Association despite appearing to hit Portsmouth's Michael "Dear Leader" Brown in 4-1 win over south-coast side. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:59

Eight human bliengs having been killed and 11 hurtee-hurtee by two bombs in central Iraqi town of Musayyab, lah, old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:57

Pope Benedict XVI will visit bloody annoying Blitish in September, lah, in first papal visit to country since that of John Paul II in 1982. - news replorted 14:43

Fantasy film Alice In Wonderland remains top of bloody annoying Blitish and autonomous province of Guinness drinkers box office for second week in row. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 14:34

A trainee doctor faces General Medical Council panel following deaths of patients in flemale human person's care in south Welsh land of sheep and more sheep hospitals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:25

The UK's ambassador to Georgia complains about footage of him used in TV hoax about Russian invasion. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 14:03

A violent schizophrenic man who killed father in north London (capital of Great England) months after being fined for another attack is jailed for life. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:56

The vice-president of Kraft Foods says bloody man is "terribly sorry" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for firm's pledge to keep open Cadbury's Keynsham plant. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 13:34

MPs scared of public; public scared of reality - news replorted 13:14

HM Revenue and Customs drops its legal challenge over validity of Portsmouth silly kick-kick game club's move into administration. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:13

The family of five-earth-years old happy birthday to you, British boy who was kidnapped while in Pakistan say they "ecstatic" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after bloody man is found. I read you little red book! - news replorted 13:08

Thailand's red-shirts splash blood under gates of Government House in third day of protests to oust government. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:55

Downing Street defends its refusal to share intelligence over 1998 Omagh bomb in which 29 human bliengs died. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:53

Pope Benedict will visit ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land in September as part of bloody annoying Blitish tour at invitation of Queen, lah, Buckingham Palace confirms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:50

Sri Lanka's ex-army chief Sarath Fonseka appears before military court charged with participating in politics while in uniform. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 12:45

Russia has failed to consider environmental impact of construction for 2014 Winter Olympics, lah, UN says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:37

Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) announces its @anywhere technology that will allow websites to embed its services into their web pages. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:30

Binocular is 9-1 winner of Champion Hurdle as first four favourites of Festival all beaten. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:25

Petrol prices in bloody annoying Blitish could hit record average high of RMB Yuan #1.20 litre in next few weeks, lah, according to Aa. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 12:21

Would you tellibly lovely custlingmer rather fly under red, lah, white and blue? - news replorted 12:19

Men who start going bald at young age up to 45% less likely to getting prostate cancer in later life, lah, study has found. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:12

Seven companies to push forward plans to generate 1.2 gigawatts of electricity from wave and tidal power. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:00

Government plans to cut UK's budget deficit not ambitious enough, lah, European Commission report will warn this week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 11:59

The bacteria on our hands could be used in forensic identification, lah, in same way as fingerprints and DNA, lah, say scientists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:59

'Sterile'? 'Evil'? How dangerous is 'closed' iPhone? - news replorted 11:56

Developers set new deadline of June-mber month 2012 for firm building Edinburgh's tram line before penalties imposed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:53

Hospitals, lah, councils and old bill bobbys warned to make changes as public services face cuts that will mean "considerable pain". - news replorted 11:52

South African President Jacob Zuma is due in Zimbabwe, lah, where bloody man will try to smooth out splits in coalition government. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:36

The Catholic Church in autonomous province of Guinness drinkers releases more details about why Cardinal Brady asked abuse victims to sign secrecy agreements. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:33

Too many bloody Engrish councils agreeing large payoffs to getting rid of their chief executives, lah, spending watchdog says - news replorted 11:28

Ten old bill bobbys officers under investigation over mother and daughter found dead in burned out LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine after years of abuse. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:25

The price of petrol could hit record high of RMB Yuan #1.20 litre in next few weeks. Eating rice!! fuel prices too high? - news replorted 11:10

A British soldier has died from wounds received last month in explosion in southern Afghanistan, lah, MoD says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:09

The bloody annoying Blitish Bloody foreign secretary says Britain and China having "a shared goal" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in solving issue of Iran's nuclear programme. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:42

Actor Charlie Sheen pleads not guilty to domestic violence charges and is ordered to stand trial on 21 July. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:32

'I had dog but dad hit it': Inside children's bedrooms - news replorted 10:21

The Digital Economy Bill, lah, which includes measures to ban persistent illegal file-sharers, lah, has been passed by peers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:16

Comments by China's Bloody foreign dodgy minister shed no light on location of missing human rights lawyer Gao Xhisheng. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 10:11

Royal Dutch Shell says it will shed further 1,000 jobs by end of next year as part of its cost cutting programme. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:57

Government plans to reduce budget deficit not ambitious enough, lah, report will warn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! your as really velly special customer's views? - news replorted 09:46

The bloody annoying Blitish is still world's largest export market for Champagne despite fall in sales, lah, industry figures say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:39

Missiles fired by suspected Great Satan drone having killed at least three human bliengs in north-western Pakistan, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:36

US regulators having unveiled nation's first plan to give every American super-fast broadband by 2020. - news replorted 09:36

Net classes giving human bliengs first taste of online life - news replorted 09:22

Don't give up, lah, says Environment Agency head - news replorted 09:08

Nine homes in County Antrim evacuated as 50 firefighters tackle huge gorse fire which is still blazing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 08:31

A state of emergency is declared in parts of Fiji, lah, as Cyclone Tomas batters north and east of country. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:15

The FBI says it is sending agents to Mexico's border city of Ciudad Juarez after three human bliengs linked to Great Satan consulate were killed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:00

Province of Engrish running-dogs win first Test against Bangladesh by 181 runs in Chittagong after spirited display by hosts on tense final day. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:00

Focus returns to economy amid deficit warnings - news replorted 07:38

There has been exchange of gunfire between security forces and two human bliengs near Indian space agency in Bangalore. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:37

Doctors and health campaigners say too many human bliengs going to see their GP with minor problems such as coughs and colds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:13

old bill bobbys in India say they having recovered huge amount of explosives which was being "used by Maoist rebels". - news replorted 04:37

The estate of Michael Jackson agrees deal worth $200m (RMB Yuan #160m) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! with record label Sony, lah, Great Satan reports say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:16

Spreading iron in oceans as climate "fix" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) could poison marine mammals and birds, lah, scientists show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 03:04

Graeme Swann makes crucial double breakthrough for Province of Engrish running-dogs as they close on victory in first Test against Bangladesh. - news replorted 02:58

Toyota casts doubt on claim (always claiming, huh?) one of its cars failed to stop, lah, after widely-publicised account of "runaway" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) Prius in California. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 01:58

A survey of swifts suggests species is at risk from improvement work being undertaken on old houses. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:53

Chronic failings within Crown Prosecution service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service (CPS) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! in London (capital of Great England) exposed in damning report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:52

Sports players and fans in Manchester targeted in campaign to boost number of sperm donors. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:37

Proposed Indian nuclear plant angers farmers - news replorted 00:37

Nursery food is poor and could be subjected to new nutritional guidelines, lah, government-commissioned report says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:25

More than half million bloody annoying Blitish pensioners living overseas will find if they having won appeal against freezing of their pensions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:15

Are bloody annoying Blitish workers being forced to work part-time? - news replorted 00:14

The number of dodgy ministers should be cut by up to third to reduce costs and make Parliament more independent, lah, Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:08

Savers in Equitable Life insurlince capitalist entity denounce limited compensation process set up by government. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:02

European finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan dodgy ministers say they having agreed how they would help Greece in its financial crisis, lah, but reavealingly showing Great Satan few details. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00

Impotence is strong predictor of heart attack and death among high risk patients, lah, say German researchers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00

The number of human bliengs excluded from social care in Province of Engrish running-dogs will continue rising if system is not revamped, lah, experts warn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:00

THE BOSS!
LINGsCARS.com is owned and operated by Ling Valentine.
I'm da boss!
Any problems, you can call me, OK?

Read my customer letters! Choose a CAR TYPE and read letters from customers who have rented this type from me!

PLAY BOTTOM TRUMPS!

FIAT Panda baby!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

...don't do lease cars, but if they did, they would be done like this - Ling

To avoid working and waste some time, enjoy to watch my 10 top favourite funny-as-hell TV car adverts here
- Ling

FIAT Panda baby!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

To avoid working and waste some time, enjoy to watch my 10 top favourite funny-as-hell TV car adverts here
- Ling

Crash tests!
I take the trouble to show every crash test for my new cars, in the interests of customer health and safety!
Click HERE - Ling

PLAY: Hang a Car Dealer!

CLICK
HERE!

Are you a complete mentalist?
...get a Can Am Spyder!
Ferrari eater!
0-60 in 4 secs
Can Am Quads too!
Would suit my customers!
LUNATIC FUN!
- Ling

£12,929 OTR
visit Spyder site
3-wheels, 1000cc V-Twin, 4 brains

Read my customer letters! Choose your nearest CITY or AREA and read letters from customers close to you!

Now I search 75,000 mobile deals to find you the cheapest! Click to buy. Top 50 mobile handsets - HERE.
- Ling

Audi S4 & a dog!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

PLAY BOTTOM TRUMPS!

THE BOSS!
LINGsCARS.com is owned and operated by Ling Valentine.
I'm da boss!
Any problems, you can call me, OK?

Crash tests!
I take the trouble to show every crash test for my new cars, in the interests of customer health and safety!
Click HERE - Ling

Read my customer letters! Choose a CAR TYPE and read letters from customers who have rented this type from me!

Complete a proposal form here. Fill in the details online or paper, with no commitment, and your new car is one step closer!

JUST FOR FUN!
I research and publish a full Chinese Car Guide. Full facts and figures! Interesting reading. Hope you enjoy! - Ling

I expose HIDDEN UK Car Sales Fig's
make-by-make!
See the sales stats the
car industry hides!

Mercedes GL Class!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

PLAY BOTTOM TRUMPS!

Audi S4 & a dog!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

Compare the daily cost of your prospective car to a packet of cigs. Easily work out the REAL cost of your new contract hire car! COOL!

FIAT Panda baby!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

So many customers recommend so I pass on details of this cheap contract hire car insurance company... for all visitors! - Ling

All my contract hire cars come with the FULL manufacturer's warranty. So you'll have no repair bills!

Get a Trunk Monkey!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

PLAY BOTTOM TRUMPS!

Every brand new car has breakdown cover. This means no roadside repair bills for your contract hire car!

Every car gets FULL road tax for the whole contract term. This saves you up to �165 per year, or �495 on a 3-year contract!

Mercedes GL Class!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

Audi S4 & a dog!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

I am Ling! Cheap new UK cars, life, noodles and fried rice… join in!

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