LINGsCARS.com – Blog

I am Ling! Cheap new UK cars, life, noodles and fried rice… join in!

Ling is Green. New Ford Mondeo Estate info

Checking against the values I publish for the Ford Mondeo Estate 1.8 TDCi (123bhp) Edge (6) Estate 5dr 1753cc Diesel Manual, I have noticed a small error, so I’m publishing these new figures today. Please read.
These days, in UK identity theft is common (not problem in China; we all look same, heheh), money [...]

My Mercedes B-Class CO2 g/km levels

Changing this information for the Mercedes B-Class 1.5 (95bhp) B150 SE MPV 5dr 1498cc Petrol Manual, I noticed most other websites still use old values. You should trust that I work harder to give you the correct info!
Many large organisations such as CD Bramall, Perrys, Lombard, Lex, Pendragon, Network, BMW Finance, Citroen [...]

Hydrocarbon results for the Honda Civic Type-R have changed

Looking at my records, the Honda Civic Type-R 2.0 i-VTEC (198bhp) Hatchback 3dr 1998cc Petrol Manual has changed today, so I have updated the environmental information on my website. You have to laugh that I can beat Honda to this update!
With my deals, you get a brand new car with zero miles on the [...]

Petrol consumption and my Peugeot 308

Making your car greener is important, so it is nice when you can do it just by looking at the new Peugeot 308 1.6 VTi 16v (120bhp) Sport Hatchback 5dr 1598cc Petrol Manual. The CO2 values have changed, making it more attractive.
I get my car deals from many sources, main dealers, finance companies, [...]

Publishing new polluting info for the Mitsubishi Outlander

CO2 affects fuel consumption directly. Less CO2 means less fuel burnt. So, I’m reporting this change on the Mitsubishi Outlander Diesel Manual. Have a look at the new figures.
You need to insure the car fully comp, as normal with any new car. The car can be used for any purpose, or driven by anyone [...]

Possible enviro banding change on the Renault Kangoo

Making your car greener is important, so it is nice when you can do it just by looking at the new Renault Kangoo 1.5 17DCi (70bhp) Van 3dr 1461cc Diesel Manual. The CO2 values have changed, making it more attractive.
Your car belongs to the finance company on whose documents you agreed to the contract. [...]

Harmful emissions on the Vauxhall Astra Sport Hatch

Look, another CO2 change! The Vauxhall Astra Sport Hatch 1.8 VVT 16v (140bhp) SRI Hatchback 3dr 1796cc Petrol Manual has moved slightly in the environment tales again. I post the new info, and publish on my website.
How to explain this without it seeming like the usual sales talk? … I don’t know, but I [...]

Petrol consumption and my Citroen C5 Tourer

I am simply faster than any other car sales website in changing these Citroen C5 Tourer (New Shape) 1.6 HDi (110bhp) VTR Plus Estate 5dr 1560cc Diesel Manual details to reflect the latest info. No one can keep up with me. Often the manufacturer websites are out of date!
Most extras fitted onto cars [...]

New CO2 figure for the Nissan Murano

Look, another CO2 change! The Nissan Murano 3.5 V6 (230bhp) Station Wagon 5dr 3498cc Petrol Manual has moved slightly in the environment tales again. I post the new info, and publish on my website.
Most Ling cars are on 2 year deals or less, so you should only need an oil and [...]

Lower CO2 on my Ford Fiesta (old shape)

If you are interested in CO2 stuff, then read this. I have a new figure for the Ford Fiesta (old shape) 1.4 TDCi (67bhp) Style (a/c) Hatchback 3dr 1399cc Diesel Manual and I am updating it on my website now.
Your car belongs to the finance company on whose documents you agreed to the [...]

Ling is Green. New Ford Mondeo info

The impact of CO2 is important. I always compare my figures with the Government data, so when it changes, like on this Ford Mondeo Petrol Manual, I note it here in my blog.
As a bonus to add to your lower motoring costs, you will get every subsequent year’s road tax sent to you free [...]

Kia Ceed pollution changed

All the people with orders in my system for the Kia Ceed 1.6 16v (120bhp) S Hatchback 5dr 1591cc Petrol Manual will be quite pleased by this news. I am making a change, because the environment stuff seems to have moved slightly.
This is very difficult for some people to control because of [...]

New Mercedes SLK, £283.99+VAT

Woo-hoo! I have just uploaded a new Mercedes SLK deal to my website! This is damn cheap, filling your boots!
I added New Mercedes SLK 1.8 k (181bhp) 200 Kompressor Convertible 2dr 1796cc Petrol, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £283.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial [...]

New Mercedes CLS-Class, £479.99+VAT

Look at this new deal I have uploaded to my website about 2 minutes ago! I have just uploaded a new Mercedes CLS-Class.
I added New Mercedes CLS-Class 3.0 CDi (224bhp) 320 Saloon 4dr 2987cc Diesel, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £479.99+VAT per month with 3 [...]

New Mercedes CLS-Class, £474.99+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Mercedes CLS-Class deal to my website!
I added New Mercedes CLS-Class 3.0 CDi (224bhp) 320 Saloon 4dr 2987cc Diesel, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £474.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 23 payments on direct debit. Private [...]

New Vauxhall Corsa, £128.99+VAT

If you check my website, you will see I have just added a new Vauxhall Corsa deal! I added this, because it looked cheap to me. I do not add expensive cars.
I added New Vauxhall Corsa 1.2 i 16v (80bhp) Club A/C Hatchback 3dr 1229cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on [...]

New Vauxhall Corsa, £138.99+VAT

Look at this new deal I have uploaded to my website about 2 minutes ago! I have just uploaded a new Vauxhall Corsa.
I added New Vauxhall Corsa 1.2 i 16v (80bhp) Club A/C Hatchback 3dr 1229cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £138.99+VAT per month with [...]

New Vauxhall Corsa, £137.99+VAT

Woo-hoo! I have just uploaded a new Vauxhall Corsa deal to my website! This is damn cheap, filling your boots!
I added New Vauxhall Corsa 1.2 i 16v (78bhp) SXi (A/C) Hatchback 3dr 1229cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £137.99+VAT per month with 3 months [...]

New Vauxhall Corsa, £149.99+VAT

Hey, dudes!!! Pay attention! I have just uploaded a new Vauxhall Corsa deal to my website!
I added New Vauxhall Corsa 1.2 i 16v (78bhp) SXi (A/C) Hatchback 3dr 1229cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £149.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by [...]

Emmission figures on the Mercedes C-Class Saloon

My system has alerted me that the Mercedes C-Class Saloon 2.2 CDi (134bhp) C200 SE Saloon 4dr 2148cc Diesel Automatic has changed today so I update my website and post here for the benefit of customers. No one else bothers with this stuff. I treat you like adult, not idiot.
Your car belongs to [...]

FOXY Choice introduces the best and female friendly UK garage services for MOTs, car servicing and vehicle repairs.

FEMALE FRIENDLY GARAGES WANTED…
Ahead of a consumer launch in October, a new and independent website service called FOXY Choice www.foxychoice.com is recruiting female friendly garages and dealerships to show off their business credentials and amenities to local motorists at MOT, car servicing and repair times. A FOXY Garage Services Guide starts the process off by [...]

I have updated CO2 for the Kia Magentis

I am Ling and my Kia Magentis 2.0 CRDI (140bhp) GS Saloon 4dr 1991cc Diesel Manual has a new CO2 value today. So I post it here in my blog. I always update very fast. Can anyone name another website that can do this stuff as fast as me?
With my deals, you get [...]

New Mazda 3, £154.73+VAT

I have been offered the following car, so here it is! I have just uploaded a new Mazda 3 deal to my website!
I added New Mazda 3 1.6 16v (103bhp) Takara Hatchback 5dr 1598cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £154.73+VAT per month [...]

New Mercedes CLK-Class Cabriolet, £454.99+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Mercedes CLK-Class Cabriolet deal to my website!
I added New Mercedes CLK-Class Cabriolet 1.8 16v (184bhp) 200 Kompressor Avantgarde Cabriolet 2dr 1796cc Petrol, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £454.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on [...]

New Mercedes E-Class Saloon, £334.99+VAT

Look at this new deal I have uploaded to my website about 2 minutes ago! I have just uploaded a new Mercedes E-Class Saloon.
I added New Mercedes E-Class Saloon 3.0 CDi (187bhp) E280 Avantgarde Saloon 4dr 2987cc Diesel, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £334.99+VAT per [...]

New Mercedes E-Class Saloon, £334.99+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Mercedes E-Class Saloon deal to my website!
I added New Mercedes E-Class Saloon 3.0 CDi (187bhp) E280 Avantgarde Saloon 4dr 2987cc Diesel, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £334.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 23 payments on [...]

New Mercedes SLK, £268.99+VAT

Hey, dudes!!! Pay attention! I have just uploaded a new Mercedes SLK deal to my website!
I added New Mercedes SLK 1.8 (160bhp) 200 Kompressor Convertible 2dr 1796cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £268.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 23 [...]

New Nissan X-Trail, £199.99+VAT

Hey, dudes!!! Pay attention! I have just uploaded a new Nissan X-Trail deal to my website!
I added New Nissan X-Trail 2.0 dCi (147bhp) Trek 4WD Station Wagon 5dr 1995cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £199.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by [...]

Emmission figures on the Mini One

Updating the Mini One 1.4 16v (93bhp) One Hatchback 3dr 1397cc Petrol Manual quickly is brilliant because Google loves to use me as the choice for listing these cars.
Your car belongs to the finance company on whose documents you agreed to the contract. Many different wear and tear agreements are issued, but [...]

New Audi S3, £329.99+VAT

If you check my website, you will see I have just added a new Audi S3 deal! I added this, because it looked cheap to me. I do not add expensive cars.
I added New Audi S3 (New Shape) 2.0 TFSI (261bhp) Quattro 4WD Hatchback 5dr 1984cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Non-metallic paint. It [...]

New Nissan X-Trail, £209.99+VAT

I have been offered the following car, so here it is! I have just uploaded a new Nissan X-Trail deal to my website!
I added New Nissan X-Trail 2.0 dCi (147bhp) Trek 4WD Station Wagon 5dr 1995cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £209.99+VAT per month [...]

New Toyota Aygo, £129.99+VAT

If you check my website, you will see I have just added a new Toyota Aygo deal! I added this, because it looked cheap to me. I do not add expensive cars.
I added New Toyota Aygo 1.0 VVT-i 12v (67bhp) Hatchback 3dr 998cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on [...]

New Volkswagen Scirocco, £299.99+VAT

I have been offered the following car, so here it is! I have just uploaded a new Volkswagen Scirocco deal to my website!
I added New Volkswagen Scirocco 2.0 TSI (200bhp) GT Coupe 3dr 1984cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £299.99+VAT per month with 3 [...]

Possible enviro banding change on the Citroen Xsara Picasso

CO2 CO2, CO2. It always seems to go up. The Citroen Xsara Picasso 1.6 i (110bhp) Desire MPV 5dr 1587cc Petrol Manual seems to have reversed this trend. If you choose one of these, you will be pleased. Lower CO2 means lower fuel consumption.
How to explain this without it seeming like the usual [...]

Change on the Honda Accord Saloon (old model)

CO2 affects fuel consumption directly. Less CO2 means less fuel burnt. So, I’m reporting this change on the Honda Accord Saloon (old model) Diesel Manual. Have a look at the new figures.
Oh, I get very mad about this, but I cannot say this in my advertising or some big leasing companies complain to me [...]

Change on the Honda Accord Saloon (old model)

CO2 affects fuel consumption directly. Less CO2 means less fuel burnt. So, I’m reporting this change on the Honda Accord Saloon (old model) Diesel Manual. Have a look at the new figures.
Oh, I get very mad about this, but I cannot say this in my advertising or some big leasing companies complain to me [...]

Petrol consumption and my Toyota Yaris

Green output is important to me, so I tell you the Toyota Yaris 1.3 VVT-i 16v (85bhp) TR Hatchback 5dr 1296cc Petrol Manual has changed, here are the new figures. I work hard to keep everything up to date.
At the manufacturer’s service intervals, the car will need a service, which you are responsible [...]

Ling Time – TarMag (or Tar Mag) – Track and Road Magazine

Visit http://www.tarmag.co.uk. The Tar Mag is online and subscription is free!
LING TIME
Ling, can you please tell me a bit about your business, and your personal history.
I’m Ling, I’m a self-made car-leasing magnate. Actually, I’m an immigrant, female, Chinese female millionaire nutcase who runs LINGsCARS.com, the biggest and best car contract hire website in the UK. [...]

Green info has changed on the Skoda Octavia Estate

CO2 CO2, CO2. It always seems to go up. The Skoda Octavia Estate 1.9 TDi (105bhp) Classic Estate 5dr 1896cc Diesel Manual seems to have reversed this trend. If you choose one of these, you will be pleased. Lower CO2 means lower fuel consumption.
You need to insure the car fully comp, as normal [...]

New Mercedes E-Class Saloon, £358.99+VAT

Look at this new deal I have uploaded to my website about 2 minutes ago! I have just uploaded a new Mercedes E-Class Saloon.
I added New Mercedes E-Class Saloon 3.0 CDI 24v (220bhp) E320 Sport Saloon 4dr 2987cc Diesel, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £358.99+VAT [...]

Different NOx levels on the Mini Cooper Convertible

Changing this information for the Mini Cooper Convertible 1.6 (116bhp) Convertible 2dr 1598cc Petrol Manual, I noticed most other websites still use old values. You should trust that I work harder to give you the correct info!
How to explain this without it seeming like the usual sales talk? … I don’t [...]

New Toyota HiAce, £224.13+VAT

I have been offered the following car, so here it is! I have just uploaded a new Toyota HiAce deal to my website!
I added New Toyota HiAce 2.5 D4D (95bhp) 300 LWB Van 2494cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Non-metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £224.13+VAT per month with 3 months [...]

New Toyota HiAce, £189+VAT

If you check my website, you will see I have just added a new Toyota HiAce deal! I added this, because it looked cheap to me. I do not add expensive cars.
I added New Toyota HiAce 2.5 D4D (95bhp) 280 SWB Van 2494cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Non-metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 [...]

New Toyota Yaris, £159.99+VAT

If you check my website, you will see I have just added a new Toyota Yaris deal! I added this, because it looked cheap to me. I do not add expensive cars.
I added New Toyota Yaris 1.3 VVT-i 16v (85bhp) TR Hatchback 5dr 1296cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on [...]

New Mercedes A-Class, £154.99+VAT

If you check my website, you will see I have just added a new Mercedes A-Class deal! I added this, because it looked cheap to me. I do not add expensive cars.
I added New Mercedes A-Class 1.5 A150 (95bhp) Classic SE Hatchback 5dr 1498cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a [...]

New Mercedes A-Class, £159.99+VAT

Woo-hoo! I have just uploaded a new Mercedes A-Class deal to my website! This is damn cheap, filling your boots!
I added New Mercedes A-Class 1.5 A150 (95bhp) Classic SE Hatchback 5dr 1498cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £159.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, [...]

New Mercedes A-Class, £144.99+VAT

I have been offered the following car, so here it is! I have just uploaded a new Mercedes A-Class deal to my website!
I added New Mercedes A-Class 1.5 A150 Classic SE Hatchback 5dr 1498cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £144.99+VAT per month with 3 months [...]

New Mercedes A-Class, £149.99+VAT

Hey, dudes!!! Pay attention! I have just uploaded a new Mercedes A-Class deal to my website!
I added New Mercedes A-Class 1.5 A150 (95bhp) Classic SE Hatchback 3dr 1498cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £149.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 23 payments [...]

New Mercedes E-Class Saloon, £319.99+VAT

Woo-hoo! I have just uploaded a new Mercedes E-Class Saloon deal to my website! This is damn cheap, filling your boots!
I added New Mercedes E-Class Saloon 2.2 CDi (167bhp) E220 Avantgarde Saloon 4dr 2148cc Diesel, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £319.99+VAT per month with 3 [...]

New Mercedes E-Class Saloon, £318.99+VAT

I have been offered the following car, so here it is! I have just uploaded a new Mercedes E-Class Saloon deal to my website!
I added New Mercedes E-Class Saloon 2.2 CDi (167bhp) E220 Avantgarde Saloon 4dr 2148cc Diesel, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £318.99+VAT per [...]

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I am Ling Valentine as seen on Dragons' Den I lease cheap cars in the UK!. Have a look at my Cheap car leasing website

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MINI BLOG
 
I am GAY ICON! WoW!
Posted: 04/02/10
Comments ( 1 )
I am GAY ICON! WoW! How amazing! I have my first Civil Partnership couple, both applying a car EACH! That was two weeks ago; the sensible one has alre... READ MORE
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NO FM CAR RADIO IN 2015
Posted: 04/03/10
Comments ( 0 )
NO FM CAR RADIO IN 2015 Listening to the radio in our cars is something we all take for granted. Every car these days comes with a good quality radio, and... READ MORE
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Don't run, little customers! I'm friendly...
I am the Viz UK business ambassador!
Post me Ferrero-Rochers! Yum Yum!
Unlike most other internet car leasing sites, I publish all my contact information openly!
...so, you know who I am
- Ling


THE UK's FAVOURITE
CAR LEASING WEBSITE!

The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD
LING World Headquarters
Vance Business Park
Gateshead, NE11 9NE
Tel 0191 460 9444
Fax 0870 486 1130
sales@LINGsCARS.com
I prefer email to phone - Ling
VAT No: 866 0241 30
Co Reg No: 6178634
Consumer Credit Licence: 624022
Data Protection No: Z1098490
Best Before: 17/08/2007
LING World HQ
People's Republic of Gateshead!

 

Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

LATEST: Labour Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Ashok Kumar has suffered "sudden accidental" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) death at male gender human bleing's Middlesbrough home at age of 53. - news replorted 14:54



LATEST: A settlements row has pushed US-Israeli relations to their lowest point for 35 years, lah, top Israeli envoy is quoted as saying. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 14:40



A victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) of serial abuser Fr Brendan Smyth calls on head of Catholic Church in Ireland, lah, Cardinal Sean Brady, lah, to resign. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 14:36



South African judge convicts ANC official Julius Malema of hate speech for insulting woman who accused Jacob Zuma of rape. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:16



A second person is held over death of couple who were killed when fire in mobility scooter spread to their home in Rugby. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:12



The Israeli military has ordered two West capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity villages at centre of protests against "separation wall" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) off-limits. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:09



A man is arrested over death of mother-of-three who went missing after night out in Dundee. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:08



Thailand's prime dodgy minister rejects protesters' demands for male gender human bleing's resignation, lah, as red-shirt rallies continue in Bangkok. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 13:57



Gordon "Dear Leader" Brown says bloody man wantings to "keep going", lah, after being asked if bloody man would resign if Labour failed to win general election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:52



Children's Secretary Ed Balls criticises children's commissioner for "ill advised" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) written-down messages on dead tree about James Bulger's killers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:47



Children's Secretary Ed Balls criticises children's commissioner for "ill advised" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) written-down messages on dead tree about James Bulger's killers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:47



Governments need to crack down on illegal trade in tiger parts if big cats to be saved from extinction, lah, UN warns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:47



EU Bloody foreign policy chief Catherine Ashton begins Middle East tour amid tension over Israeli housing project in East Jerusalem. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 13:22



Friends actor David Schwimmer is to marry male gender human bleing's British photographer girlfriend Zoe Buckman. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:15



The chief executive of Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Water is to give quarter of male gender human bleing's annual bonus to charity, lah, bloody man announces. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:13



The pay of university heads has soared with some now earning more than prime minister, lah, report says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:12



Teenagers, lah, Shakespeare and Lady Gaga - news replorted 12:40



Virgin Atlantic is creating 200 jobs with opening of new clustomler service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service centre. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:38



Fitness tests should be introduced for children in secondary schools to help make human bliengs more active, lah, chief medical officer for Province of Engrish running-dogs says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:31



The head of Catholic Church in autonomous province of Guinness drinkers says bloody man will only resign over alleged abuse "cover-up" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) if Pope asks him to so. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 12:25



David Beckham is flying to Finland for surgery on male gender human bleing's Achilles tendon, lah, which looks set to rule him out of World Cup. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 12:18



Credit card holders will be offered more protection from spiralling debts, lah, but changes watered down from original plans. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:18



Prime dodgy minister Gordon "Dear Leader" Brown says planned strike by British Airways cabin staff is "unjustified" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and comes at "wrong time". - news replorted 12:15



India's government approves bill to allow Bloody foreign universities to set up campuses and offer degrees to students in India. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 12:12



Research suggests that key Tory constituencies could suffer most from Conservative policy on super-fast broadband. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:59



Two men in their 20s appear in court in Newry on Monday charged with terrorism offences after old bill bobbys operation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:48



Robbie Williams' Sport Relief single, lah, Morning Sun, lah, fails to make top 40 bloody annoying Blitish singles chart. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:44



Most old bill bobbys forces in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep still unfairly target black and Asian human bliengs in their using of stop and search powers, lah, equality watchdog says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:42



An elderly woman suffered serious neglect at Teesside care home because of widespread failings, lah, review finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:41



A massive power failure plunges much of earthquake-hit Chile into darkness, lah, affecting up to 90% of population. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:37



Sixty-nine human bliengs arrested in six European countries as part of co-ordinated old bill bobbys operation against Georgian mafia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 11:34



Former patients of hospital consultant struck off after one of male gender human bleing's patients died speak of their suffering at male gender human bleing's hands. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:31



A parliamentary committee raise concerns over leadership of bloody annoying Blitish equalities chief Trevor Phillips and questions male gender human bleing's reappointment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:31



Reindeer having "switched off" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) their internal body clocks to survive dark winters and light summers in Arctic. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 11:20



Hull City manager Phil "Dear Leader" Brown has been relieved of male gender human bleing's duties at struggling Premier League club and put on gardening leave. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:08



A new approach is needed to give greater priority to care and support of rape victims, lah, major review says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:06



The bloody annoying Blitish Bloody foreign Secretary David Miliband is in China to hold discussions with country's political leaders. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:59



Province of Engrish running-dogs require five wickets to win first Test against Bangladesh after hosts close day four on 191-5, lah, still 321 runs behind. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:57



What is behind Nick Clegg's refusal to pick party? - news replorted 10:40



South East Asian nations ramping up their military capacity in move that could destabilise region, lah, report says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:34



A man whose home was raided as part of terror probe says male gender human bleing's property has not been returned, lah, although inquiry was dropped. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:53



What UK's dotcom pioneers doing now? - news replorted 09:51



How serious is David Beckham's injury? - news replorted 09:41



The Great Satan gets ready for wars fought in cyberspace - news replorted 09:27



A deadline for Darfur rebels and Sudan's government to finalise peace deal is unlikely to be met, lah, amid rebel split. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:09



Peter Graves - star of TV series Mission: Impossible and Airplane films - dies in Los Angeles, lah, aged 83. - news replorted 08:54



The chancellor must decide whether to put "his country before male gender human bleing's party" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in male gender human bleing's Budget next week, lah, George Osborne says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:53



The internet domain name dotcom celebrates its 25th anniversary as nearly 86 million active internet sites now using it. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:49



Coronation Street actor Danny Young is voted off ITV1's Dancing on Ice following costly mistake in skate-off. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 08:28



An inquiry is launched to find out how inmate at high-security Frankland jail managed to stab three officers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:25



David Beckham's dream of playing in fourth World Cup looks over after bloody man tears Achilles tendon in AC Milan's 1-0 win over Chievo. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 08:11



old bill bobbys make four arrests after body of 46-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man was discovered at male gender human bleing's home in south Welsh land of sheep and more sheep valleys on Friday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:48



A suicide bomber explodes LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine in Iraqi city of Falluja, lah, killing at least seven human bliengs and wounding 13, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:31



China National Offshore Oil Corporation is paying $3.1bn for 50% stake in Argentine oil and gas group Bridas Corporation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:26



Gavin Hewitt on how mid-term polls seen in France - news replorted 07:23



Pakistani fighter jets target suspected Taliban hideouts in north-western Orakzai tribal area, lah, killing at least nine. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:17



The Catholic primate of all-autonomous province of Guinness drinkers rejects calls to resign over claim (always claiming, huh?) bloody man helped cover up sex abuse investigation in 1970s. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:52



The environment dodgy minister is expected to claim (always claiming, huh?) Welsh land of sheep and more sheep has potential to produce twice its renewable energy needs in future. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:37



Brazil's president arrives in Israel at start of Middle East tour to throw male gender human bleing's country's weight behind peace process. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:07



How German POWs helped build bloody Engrish icon - news replorted 06:01



The internet domain name dotcom celebrates its 25th anniversary as nearly 86 million active internet sites now using it. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 05:55



Commissioner comes under fire over Venables - news replorted 05:25



At least 26 students killed and dozens hurt when bus plunges into river in India's northern state of Rajasthan. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 04:19



Pupils at four schools in Glasgow being given lessons in how to sleep. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 03:32



Pupils at four schools in Glasgow being given lessons in how to sleep. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 03:32



President Sarkozy's party faces defeat from Socialists in regional elections, lah, which also saw strong showing by National Front. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 03:16



Bangladesh dig deep and take first Test into final day after Province of Engrish running-dogs's bowlers struggle to wrap up victory in Chittagong. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 02:56



Ban Ki-moon tells Haiti world will continue to support them as they recover from devastating earthquake. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:44



Best in Show finale brings Crufts Dog Show to close - news replorted 01:44



A parliamentary committee raise concerns over leadership of bloody annoying Blitish equalities chief Trevor Phillips and questions male gender human bleing's reappointment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:23



Cancer patients losing out on benefit payments worth millions of pounds, lah, according to leading charity. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:23



Greens can't getting Japan to blubber for dead whales - news replorted 00:59



Exercise and diet key to prevent diabetes in high-risk people, lah, say researchers who found two drug treatments offer no benefit. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:01



'They believe Mummy is angel watching them' - news replorted 00:01



There needs to be "radical overhaul" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu travel in bloody annoying Blitish to avoid future gridlock, lah, CBI warns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00



The royalties bloody annoying Blitish songwriters getting from online sales now growing faster than decline from CDs and DVDs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00




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Bored?
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- Ling

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Funny car leasing TV ads!

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