LINGsCARS.com – Blog

I am Ling! Cheap new UK cars, life, noodles and fried rice… join in!

New Land Rover Range Rover Sport, £433.77+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Land Rover Range Rover Sport deal to my website!
I added New Land Rover Range Rover Sport 2.7 TD V6 (188bhp) S (inc Leather) 4WD Station Wagon 5dr 2720cc Diesel, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £433.77+VAT per month with 3 months [...]

New Volkswagen Touran, £239.99+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Volkswagen Touran deal to my website!
I added New Volkswagen Touran 1.9 TDi (105bhp) S MPV (7-seat) 5dr 1896cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £239.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 23 payments on direct debit. [...]

New Volkswagen Touran, £209.99+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Volkswagen Touran deal to my website!
I added New Volkswagen Touran 1.9 TDi (90bhp) S MPV (7-seat) 5dr 1896cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £209.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 23 payments on direct debit. [...]

New Jaguar X-Type Estate, £303.99+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Jaguar X-Type Estate deal to my website!
I added New Jaguar X-Type Estate 2.2 D (152bhp) S Estate 5dr 2198cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £303.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct [...]

New Jaguar S-Type, £379.99+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Jaguar S-Type deal to my website!
I added New Jaguar S-Type 2.7 d V6 (206bhp) Spirit Saloon 4dr 2720cc Diesel, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £379.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. [...]

New Jaguar X-Type Estate, £264.99+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Jaguar X-Type Estate deal to my website!
I added New Jaguar X-Type Estate 2.0 D (130bhp) S Estate 5dr 1998cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £264.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. [...]

New Jaguar X-Type Estate, £284.99+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Jaguar X-Type Estate deal to my website!
I added New Jaguar X-Type Estate 2.0 D (130bhp) S Estate 5dr 1998cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £284.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 23 payments on direct debit. [...]

New Jaguar X-Type, £244.99+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Jaguar X-Type deal to my website!
I added New Jaguar X-Type 2.0 D (130bhp) S Saloon 4dr 1998cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £244.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Private customers, [...]

New Jaguar X-Type, £264.99+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Jaguar X-Type deal to my website!
I added New Jaguar X-Type 2.0 D (130bhp) S Saloon 4dr 1998cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £264.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 23 payments on direct debit. Private customers, [...]

New Audi A5 Coupe, £529.98+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Audi A5 Coupe deal to my website!
I added New Audi A5 Coupe 3.0 TDi (236bhp) Quattro Sport 4WD Coupe 2dr 2967cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £529.98+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 23 payments [...]

New Audi A5 Coupe, £529.98+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Audi A5 Coupe deal to my website!
I added New Audi A5 Coupe 3.0 TDi (236bhp) Quattro Sport 4WD Coupe 2dr 2967cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £529.98+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 23 payments [...]

New Audi A5 Coupe, £514.99+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Audi A5 Coupe deal to my website!
I added New Audi A5 Coupe 3.0 TDi (236bhp) Quattro Sport 4WD Coupe 2dr 2967cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £514.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments [...]

New Audi A5 Coupe, £514.99+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Audi A5 Coupe deal to my website!
I added New Audi A5 Coupe 3.0 TDi (236bhp) Quattro Sport 4WD Coupe 2dr 2967cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £514.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments [...]

New Nissan Pathfinder, £389.99+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Nissan Pathfinder deal to my website!
I added New Nissan Pathfinder 2.5 DCi (174bhp) Aventura 4WD Station Wagon (7-seat) 5dr 2488cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £389.99+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 23 payments on [...]

New Nissan Pathfinder, £374.98+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Nissan Pathfinder deal to my website!
I added New Nissan Pathfinder 2.5 DCi (174bhp) Aventura 4WD Station Wagon (7-seat) 5dr 2488cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £374.98+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on [...]

New Dodge Nitro, £330.90+VAT

I have just uploaded a new Dodge Nitro deal to my website!
I added New Dodge Nitro 2.8 CRD (174bhp) SE 4WD Station Wagon 5dr 2777cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £330.90+VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct [...]

Da Boss gets VW Passat

Jason says…
Brilliant. A pleasure to deal with – straight forward, simple quotes followed by a super-fast service. Excellent delivery of my Passat TDi, on time. Pleasant. Thanks a million.
Jason Smith
Integration Technology Ltd
115-119 Heyford Park,
Upper Heyford
OX25 5HA
Editor Note: Jason Smith, you are so economical with your words, but that makes easy life for me, less typing, [...]

Car No.2 for Warwick

Warwick says…
Ling – thanks for your great service. Always quick to respond to my emails. You dealt with me with fantastic efficiency.
Warwick Gainsborough
Address Withheld
Rickmansworth
WD3 ***
Editor Note: Warwick, it was a fast turnaround this time, because I already had all your info on file from your last car with me (Vauxhall Corsa) and could get this [...]

Ling melts an Iceberg!

David says…
I am a multi-car user ALL PROVIDED BY LING! Ling’s prices are good and her levels of service are even better. Communications via email, letter or phone are all very good. Strangely, Ling also has a sense of humour. Many thanks, Ling. Keep those prices low and service levels high. Excellent delivery of my [...]

Sharon’s Smoothie

Sharon says…
Ling, the whole service has been great. I had immediate response to my emails, post arrived when it should, my Lexus IS arrived when it was promised, and the prices were as stated on the website.
What more could you want?… plus, the Chinese cola Polos are tasty!
Sharon Barton
35 Liverpool Road
Aughton
Ormskirk
L39 5AP
Editor Note: Sharon, I’m [...]

Turning Japanese – I don’t think so!

Barry says…
Excellent service from enquiry through to delivery. For once when using the Internet and email, I felt like a person and not a number.
I am pleased with my choice of Nissan Qashqai 1.6 Acenta, shame about the long delivery – but hey… that’s the Japanese for you. Will be recommending you to friends and [...]

Poor Mitsubishi Dealer :(

Steve says…
Ling, I’ve got to say you were not my first choice to hire a Mitsubishi L200 from. My local Mitsubishi dealer fought hard for the deal – this will be my third L200 – but he had too many troops to feed and couldn’t believe the price quoted until I introduced him to your [...]

Mondeo No.2 for Barry

Barry says…
As usual, Ling. A first class service. Excellent delivery. Couldn’t ask for better service. Bless ya !
Barry Doswell
Pneumatic Solutions Int Ltd
Stratfield Park, Elettra Ave
Waterlooville
PO7 7XN
Editor Note: Barry, This is the second Mondeo you have taken, great to have you back just a few weeks after the first. I love customers who come back [...]

Kate’s Cooper

Kate says…
Ling delivered my new Mini Cooper when she said she would, and it was perfect. I was worried about maintenance and handing the car back at the end of the lease, but she provided all the information I needed to gain confidence. Plus free sweets I have recommended Ling to a friend.
Kate [...]

Shredderman

Graeme says…
The attention to detail and service that we received from Ling was excellent and it was a pleasure to deal with her. That’s why we have already ordered a second car (Nissan Qashqai) from Ling. Delivery of the Zafira was very good, but the alloy wheels were dirty.
Graeme Carter
Shredderman
26 Weardale Park
Wheatley Hill
Durham
DH6 3QQ
Editor Note: [...]

Very cheap van

Claire says…
Hiya Ling! Everything has been great. You were so helpful with everything. We will be needing another van soon, so I will be in touch! We had a really good deal from you, thanks. Fantastic delivery.
Claire Sheridan
Regency Moulding and Fireplaces Ltd
Old Town Hall
Station Road
Nottingham
NG6 9AA
Editor Note: Claire, yes, your van was very cheap. These [...]

Alistair’s Range Rover

Alastair says…
Ling, many thanks for the outstanding service that you provided getting my Range Rover Sport 2.7 Tdi V6. I would not hesitate to recommend you to anyone and rest assured you will be my first port of call for all future cars.
Alastair Webb
4 Thatch Close
Derby
DE22 1EA
Editor Note: Well, you are a principal consultant at [...]

Can I come to your Christmas party???

Paul says…
Ling, many thanks for the help with my Citroen C4 lease. You took ownership of my “purchase” from day one and the delivery driver was excellent, including a full briefing on the car’s functions. I will definitely use you again, see you in two years.
ps. Can I come to your Christmas party?
Paul Drury
5 [...]

Solicitor’s Beemer

Paul says…
Very clear and smooth process from start to finish. All the paperwork was completed promptly and in a professional way. I would not hesitate to use LINGsCARS.com again.
Paul Millan
Noble Solicitors
21 High Street
Shefford
SG17 5DD
Editor Note: Wow, from a solicitor who spends his days completing similar paperwork, this is real praise. You grabbed a bargain with [...]

Icetrack gets an Audi

Neil says…
Dear Ling,
Just a brief note to say how pleased we were with the whole process of sourcing our new Audi A3 from you. Everything you said you would do, you did, on time and even when the car was going to be a couple of weeks late, you let me know. Keeping in touch [...]

Astra to Poole

Martin says…
What can I say? Excellent service!. This was the first lease car I have had and the whole process went smoothly with no problems. Car was delivered on time and clean. I would certainly recommend LINGsCARS.com to anyone. Well done Ling!
Martin Condon
7C Bank Chambers
Penn Hill Ave
Poole
BH14 9NB
Editor Note: Martin, so good to hear that [...]

Sexy Alfa – at last

Mike says…
This Alfa Romeo 159 2.4 JTDM Lusso Saloon is the first car I have leased, having always bought nearly-new previously. Ling’s prices are very competitive and so I went for a car I really wanted. The service was very good. Ling always responded quickly and kept me informed before delivery. I like her style [...]

Wayne’s Wait

Wayne says…
We came across Ling’s website on the Internet and were attracted by its “easy to use” and unique format. Ling was extremely efficient and friendly and made the whole process of leasing a car easy (even though the Citroen C2 was delayed… not Ling’s fault, it was the factory). We are very happy with [...]

Vauxhall disappoint

Kevan says…
I did a lot of research into a number of leasing companies before deciding on Ling. Certainly she has one of the most competitively priced websites I could find! The application process was straightforward with no problems. Good service standards from Ling, shame the same couldn’t be said for the manufacturer (and dealer) delivering [...]

Sense from Q7 customer

Andrew says…
Ling, I would like to thank you an extraordinary buying experience! Prior to contacting LINGsCARS, I had emailed 4 other leasing companies with none of them even having the courtesy of replying by email or phone. Even my local Audi garage never bothered to call me as promised.
Your constant updates and almost immediate responses [...]

C4 Delivery “efficient”

Michael says…
I really appreciated such an efficient, straight-forward and honest service. No hidden costs, you know you are not being ripped off and you get all the advice you need.
Huge thanks, Ling, sorting my Citroen C4 Hatch. Delivery was efficient, couldn’t fault it. Will recommend you without hesitation.
Michael Stanford
23 Cophams Close
Solihull
B92 9JJ
Editor Note: Micheal, well [...]

Bushey CC

Mark says…
Ok… so Ling is a bit unconventional, but her website gives loads of examples of what’s available and plenty of advice. Ling never over-promised and always did what she said she would. A very positive experience. Renault Megane Coupe Cabriolet was delivered on time and very clean, excellent.
Mark Laikin
Address Witheld
WD23 ***
Editor Note: Mark, hole [...]

John’s Kia Sportage

John says…
Absolutely first-class service from my first enquiry through to delivery of my new Kia Sportage. “A-plus” service from LINGsCARS, I would recommend you to anyone thinking of leasing a car. Free delivery and road tax included is an added bonus. Excellent delivery, on time and with the car in immaculate condition.
John Bole
6 Sparkford Close
Bournemouth
BH7 [...]

BMW Coupe

David says…
Thanks Ling, the BMW 3 Series Coupe is fantastic! The whole process from start to finish was efficient, professional and hassle-free. I will be back in 2-years for my next car and will be recommending you to all my friends and colleagues.
David Sutcliffe
35 Warner St
Barrow Upon Soar
Loughborough
LE12 8PB
Editor Note: That’s what I like to [...]

Mini to Northampton

Dianne says…
Ling, Now we have taken 3 vehicles off you. Always a pleasure AND FUN to deal with. Look forward to the next car!
Dianne Clark
12 Hall Close
Harpole
Northampton
NN7 4DY
Editor Note: Short and sweet, eh, Dianne and Tony. Such good to deal with you, you always cheer me up – and for anyone who wants to know, [...]

Audi Q7 to local customer Paul

Paul says…
I found that Ling has been a very helpful person to deal with, I felt as if I was her most important customer. As a customer service manager myself, I know how good the quality of her service is. Well done with my new Audi Q7!
Paul Thomas
113 Central Lofts
21 Waterloo St
Newcastle upon Tyne
NE1 4AL
Editor [...]

SAAB for Summer

Tony says…
Ling makes it easy. ling makes it fun. The service from end-to-end was simple, easy to follow, and it worked. Excellent delivery of my new SAAB 9-3 Convertible, I couldn’t fault the service. Highly recommended, will use again!
Tony Roach
35 Rosewood Ave
Stockport
SK4 2DQ
Editor Note: Well, Tony, it was such a simple operation to get you [...]

Letter 605, about a Skoda

Graham says…
Apart from a slight mix-up re delivery time, your service was impeccable. Also, the supplying dealer was spot on and perfect and very professional. I will definitely use you again. Your prices are very keen and I like your personal service. Please don’t change a thing.
LING IS KING!
ps. Just saw you on Dragons’ Den [...]

Cheap Van Man

Darren says…
Dear Ling,
Thank you for providing an excellent service with regards to the lease hire of our new Citroen Relay van. I personally found your company highly competitive. I like the advertising campaign and you are easy to work with. Out of the many companies I have dealt with, I would definitely say you are [...]

Roedean??? That’s a posh school!

Michael says…
Dear Ling,
Very pleased with the new Focus, as I was with my previous MX5 from you. Good specifications and good prices. My guess is you were educated at Roedean College and that you put on this Anglo/Chinese accent to try and be authentic.
Your website is excellent and makes it easy to compare cars and [...]

3 Windscreens! In a Merc…

Paul says…
Hi Ling. Would you believe I’ve had yet another windscreen fitted (£60 excess) last Friday, but the car is fine and enjoyable. I have recommended you to lots of “cash for car” hopefuls – they like your website; informative and to the point without jargon no-one understands. The fact that we can speak to [...]

Terry’s Topless!

Terry says…
Really happy with the Renault Megane CC – the rep nearly wet his pants when I told him what his new car would be! Great service from you, Ling, nice easy communications. Shame Renault Finance took so long to process after approval. We got there in the end, however. I’ll be back for more, [...]

Pauline’s SAAB 9-5

Pauline says…
My SAAB 9-5 Estate is here, it arrived at 10am!! I just want you to know that you have made this process sooooooo easy and pain free for me as I am a personal contract hire virgin!! You are an absolute pleasure to deal with. Your website is fantastically informative and easy to use [...]

MX-5 to Paignton

Emma says…
Dear Ling
I didn’t think that I would be that bothered by my new Mazda MX-5, but I have to say from the moment it arrived I was slightly in love…
The very nice man from Cxxxxxxx (long way from me) turned up bright and early, in fact I was still in my pj’s…
The car looked [...]

Stephen wants mats!

Stephen says…
What can I say? Fantastic service!
Thank you so much for all your help, the family are loving the new Vauxhall Zafira. The car was delivered on-time and it looks great! I loved the personal service that you offer, and you were always very prompt in responding to my questions and demands. Delivery was excellent, [...]

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MINI BLOG
 
I am GAY ICON! WoW!
Posted: 04/02/10
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I am GAY ICON! WoW! How amazing! I have my first Civil Partnership couple, both applying a car EACH! That was two weeks ago; the sensible one has alre... READ MORE
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NO FM CAR RADIO IN 2015
Posted: 04/03/10
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NO FM CAR RADIO IN 2015 Listening to the radio in our cars is something we all take for granted. Every car these days comes with a good quality radio, and... READ MORE
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Unlike most other internet car leasing sites, I publish all my contact information openly!
...so, you know who I am
- Ling


THE UK's FAVOURITE
CAR LEASING WEBSITE!

The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD
LING World Headquarters
Vance Business Park
Gateshead, NE11 9NE
Tel 0191 460 9444
Fax 0870 486 1130
sales@LINGsCARS.com
I prefer email to phone - Ling
VAT No: 866 0241 30
Co Reg No: 6178634
Consumer Credit Licence: 624022
Data Protection No: Z1098490
Best Before: 17/08/2007
LING World HQ
People's Republic of Gateshead!

 

Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

LATEST: The Pope once unwittingly approved housing for priest accused of child abuse, lah, male gender human bleing's former diocese in Germany says. - news replorted 19:12



LATEST: A Lincolnshire woman is awarded more than RMB Yuan #500,000 damages from NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) after flemale human person's cervical cancer was misdiagnosed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 18:38



Fears Muslim 'gangs' on rise in prisons - news replorted 18:34



Peter Storrie steps down from male gender human bleing's role as chief executive at Portsmouth. - news replorted 18:27



Labour peer Baroness Uddin says bloody woman is "relieved" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after being told bloody woman will not be prosecuted over flemale human person's expenses. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:52



The husband of woman whose body was found in undergrowth after night out has spoken of male gender human bleing's "heartbreak". - news replorted 17:50



An inquiry into murder of Robert Hamill urges PPS to reconsider decision not to prosecute retired RUC officer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 17:49



Pope Benedict XVI defends celibacy for Catholic priests, lah, amid new controversy about child sex abuse in Germany. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 17:37



Oil demand in China rose by "astonishing" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) 28% in first number-one-month compared with year ago, lah, International Energy Agency says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:27



The mother of girl who starved to death is sentenced to 15 years and flemale human person's stepfather jailed indefinitely. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 17:24



The British National Party is forced to rewrite its membership rules again after court rules them discriminatory. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 17:22



The bloody annoying Blitish announces 300m-euro (RMB Yuan #270m) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! loan guarantee for Vlauxhall and Opel, lah, European arm of General Motors. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:14



Brown, lah, Cameron and Clegg gear up for TV debates - news replorted 17:12



Twin suicide bomb attacks on Pakistani city of Lahore kill 45 people, lah, before other, lah, smaller blasts cause confusion. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 17:03



A Devon teenager who stabbed and killed identical twin and wounded male gender human bleing's brother acted in self defence, lah, court finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:02



Winnie Mandela, lah, former wife of Nelson Mandela, lah, denies giving interview accusing him of letting down black South Africans. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:39



The act who will represent bloody annoying Blitish at Eurovision with Pete Waterman's song will be decided later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 16:36



The One Show presenter Christine Bleakley completes flemale human person's water-ski challenge across bloody Engrish Channel in aid of Sport Relief. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 16:29



Nicolas Sarkozy and Gordon "Dear Leader" Brown criticise Great Satan for "protectionism" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) over aerospace deal after talks in London. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 16:29



BA cabin crew will go on strike for three days from 20 monthly number-three and for four days from 27 monthly number-three in arglingument over pay and staff levels. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:15



Hull manager Phil "Dear Leader" Brown apologises to Women's Institute who saw row between players Nicky Barmby and Jimmy Bullard. I read you little red book! - news replorted 16:08



Members of BNP or any group that might promote racism will not be banned from teaching in Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, government says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:06



A long-serving Conservative MEP, lah, expelled in row over party's new allies in Europe, lah, has joined Liberal Democrats. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:02



A 16-earth-years old happy birthday to you, is arrested and charged in connection with break-in at singer Susan Boyle's home in West Lothian. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 16:01



The third season of Indian Premier League damn crazy Engrish baseball game tournament is under way amid heavy security in Mumbai. - news replorted 15:59



Is high speed rail coming to your as really velly special customer's community? - news replorted 15:55



A woman is told jail sentence is almost inevitable after bloody woman was found guilty of sexual activity with 13-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:54



The annual cheese-rolling event at Cooper's Hill in Gloucestershire is cancelled due to concerns about crowd safety. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:54



Fire officers appealing to parents to help prevent children from starting grass fires following hundreds of calls to incidents. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:46



Province of Engrish running-dogs coach Martin Johnson is refusing to contemplate defeat ahead of Saturday's RBS Six Nations Calcutta Cup match against ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land at Murrayfield. I read you little red book! - news replorted 14:26



At least 45 human bliengs die in twin suicide attacks on Pakistani security forces in eastern city of Lahore, lah, old bill bobbys say. - news replorted 14:03



How did these become such big money-spinner? - news replorted 13:57



Returning Formula 1 legend Michael Schumacher vows to improve after team-mate Nico Rosberg leads Friday practice in Bahrain. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:54



A public exhibition of masterplan for Great Satan tycoon Donald Trump's controversial RMB Yuan #1bn golf resort witnesses angry scenes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:27



BA cabin crew planning two strikes this month. Will this affect your as really velly special customer's travel plans? - news replorted 13:23



What Saturn's rings tell Great Satan about our origins - news replorted 13:20



Four NI Water board members dismissed after investigation into how capitalist entity awards contracts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:03



The Liberal Democrats unveil their election campaign slogan ahead of their spring conference in Birmingham. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 13:00



A bill which would bring rules about church weddings in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep in line with Province of Engrish running-dogs is supported by MPs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:49



old bill bobbys question 18-earth-years old happy birthday to you, on suspicion of manslaughter after man collapsed and died outside male gender human bleing's home in Greater Manchester. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:49



A report into collapse of Great Satan capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity Lehman Brothers criticises senior executives and auditor Ernst & Young for serious lapses. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:45



The head of financial watchdog FSA will announce plans to toughen up consumer protection. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:36



A row is brewing over separate projects to using web to bring human bliengs closer to their local old bill bobbys forces. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:30



Farrah left off In Memoriam list at Oscars. Eating rice!! Who else? - news replorted 11:08



Alastair Cook hits 158 not out and Kevin Pietersen 99 as Province of Engrish running-dogs close day one of first Test against Bangladesh on 374-3. - news replorted 11:05



The Great Satan calls Burma's new election laws setback for dialogue, lah, as UN envoy condemns 'gross' human rights violations. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:49



How Lehman Brothers disguised its weakness - news replorted 10:23



Lehman Brothers: How $50bn was buried in London (capital of Great England) - news replorted 10:23



Why Afghan town Musa Qala is thriving again - news replorted 10:21



The number of mortgages agreed with house buyers fell 49% in first number-one-month from month before, lah, mortgage lenders say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:19



A female pornographic film director is selected as Lib Dem prospective parliamentary candidate for Gravesham, lah, Kent. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:17



Songbirds on Great Satan east coast becoming smaller, lah, trend thought to be driven by climate changes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:05



Mogadishu's mayor tells residents to leave parts of Somali capital, lah, as fierce fighting against insurgents continues. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:58



Will we see new great age of British train travel? - news replorted 09:56



Lawyers for music producer Phil Spector appealing male gender human bleing's murder conviction, lah, claiming bloody man was denied fair trial. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 09:48



The UN's top humanitarian official strongly criticises Israel's Gaza blockade and its expanding settlements. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:37



An interactive graphic showing 100 of biggest sites on web and what they - news replorted 09:29



New York City is to pay hundreds of millions of dollars to rescue workers who say their health was damaged by dust at Ground Zero. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 09:15



Andy Murray wantings players to be involved in deciding who leads Britain's Davis Cup side should current captain John Lloyd be asked to leave. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:20



Paul Greengrass and Matt Damon go to fighty bang-bang - news replorted 08:15



Adult social care in Province of Engrish running-dogs is "chronically under-funded" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and "severely rationed", lah, cross-party group of Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:14



The number of young human bliengs admitted to hospital after cutting themselves deliberately rises 50% in five years - news replorted 08:09



China has hit back at written-down messages on dead tree by Great Satan President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama that Beijing should change its currency strategy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:59



Women who took contraceptive pill less likely to die of cancer and heart disease, lah, long-term study found. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:38



Women who having taken contraceptive pill less likely to die of cancer and heart disease, lah, long-term study finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:38



Residents in Armagh city who were evacuated from their homes due to security alert allowed to return. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:30



Speculation is growing that Tiger Woods will make male gender human bleing's return to competitive golf within next month. - news replorted 07:17



Thailand mobilises thousands of troops ahead of rallies in Bangkok by supporters of ousted former PM Thaksin Shinawatra. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 06:59



The second practice session is well under way after Adrian Sutil sets quickest clock time result in opening run-out. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:37



Court appearance of expenses Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters fills front pages - news replorted 06:03



French President Nicolas Sarkozy will hold separate talks in London (capital of Great England) later with Gordon "Dear Leader" Brown and Tory leader David Cameron. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 05:19



MPs urge political parties to set aside "pre-election point scoring" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and try to reach consensus over elderly social care in Province of Engrish running-dogs. I read you little red book! - news replorted 04:44



BNP members should not be banned from teaching, lah, government review concludes. Eating rice!! you tellibly lovely custlingmer agree? - news replorted 03:03



Kevin Pietersen falls for 99 but Province of Engrish running-dogs continue to dominate first Test against Bangladesh in Chittagong. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 02:59



The using of handcuffs by immigration, lah, escort and security staff to restrain asylum seekers is criticised in report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 02:25



Former Great Satan President George W Bush's advisor, lah, Karl Rove, lah, says bloody man is proud of waterboarding as bloody man believes it prevented attacks. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:46



Report gives insight into everyday work of security services - news replorted 00:32



A sticking-plaster approach to treating skin cancer has been unveiled at Ninewells Hospital in Dundee. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:17



SNP leader to meet with Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation to discuss row over party's exclusion from televised general election debates. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:13



The amount of money paid as public sector pensions could more than triple in next 50 years, lah, says National Audit Office. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:03



At-home screening tests for virus responsible for most cervical cancers could detect many more cases, lah, say researchers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:02



Occasionally high blood pressure may be greater indicator of stroke risk than consistently high readings, lah, researchers say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:02



New York and London (capital of Great England) having been ranked as joint-top global financial centres according to new research. - news replorted 00:01



Fifty-one decapitated skeletons found in burial pit in Dorset were those of Scandinavian Vikings, lah, scientists say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:00




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