Customer Letter Number 343 Arrives by Fax! (Remember Faxes?)

Posted on | July 19, 2006 | Comments Off

“We have now converted all our cars to cars on lease – this latest one is a SAAB 9-3 Sportwagon – and all through Ling! Her service is excellent and she really tries to find the car we are looking for. Ling’s website always has the best prices and it’s the most fun, and her dealers are excellent!! We look forward to finding our next car with Ling.”

Louise Hill
Oughtibridge Kitchens
29-33 Langsett Rd South
Oughtibridge
Sheffield
S35 0GY

Editor Song: Louise, Louise, oh with your SAAB so new; Louise, Louise, another car for you; Louise, Louise, I’m so in love with you-hooo-hooo. (Apologies to Debbie Harry – not big in China, anyway. And the love thing is not like lesbian shit. I’m Chinese. That’s illegal for Chinese, my mum says. But no offence to Lesbians, especially if you want car!) – Ling

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LING World Headquarters
Vance Business Park
Gateshead, NE11 9NE
Tel 0191 460 9444
Fax 0870 486 1130
sales@LINGsCARS.com
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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST: Eurozone finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan dodgy ministers say more work must be done before they'll give Greece another 130bn euro bailout. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 05:28

Wah! LATEST: Sainsbury's is removing advice to freeze food "on day of purchase" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) from its labels and informing clustomlers it can be done up until use-by date. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:40

Wah! Three million background checks were carried out in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep last year, lah, according to privacy campaign group Big Brother Watch. - news replorted 04:16

Wah! Tata Steel, lah, largest producer in India, lah, unexpectedly reports loss of 6.03bn rupees ($122m; RMB Yuan #77m) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! hit by weak demand. I read you little red book! - news replorted 03:54

Wah! China's exports and imports fall in first number-one-month raising fresh concerns about impact of global economic slowdown on its economy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:42

Wah! President "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama condemns as "outrageous bloodshed" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) continuing onslaught aimed at crushing rebels in Syrian city of Homs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:13

Wah! South Dakota's Oglala Sioux tribe has sued major beer makers for $500m for fuelling chronic alcohol abuse in one of poorest communities in Us. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:07

Wah! Problem drinkers in London (capital of Great England) to be given American-style sobriety tests aimed at keeping them away from alcohol. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 03:03

Wah! Burmese monk U Gambira, lah, one of leaders of 2007 protests, lah, has been taken away by authorities, lah, eyewitnesses tell Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Burmese service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service - news replorted 02:42

Wah! A former senior old bill bobbys officer billed old bill bobbys authority for thousands of pounds for training despite getting cash to pay for this, lah, report says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:35

Wah! The Ministry of Defence may be "over-optimistic" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) about how much its military equipment budget is under control, lah, influential group of Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:28

Wah! A project is to look at whether following set of systematic movements for 10 minutes day in class can boost pupils' results. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:56

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Wah! Canada and China reach government deals in uranium exports and other sectors, lah, as two countries deepen trade ties. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:29

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Wah! Making movie music for new film - news replorted 01:23

Wah! The creator of V for Vendetta on how it became hacktivist icon - news replorted 01:03

Wah! The government announces RMB Yuan #1.2 million of funding to help girls involved with gangs who raped by male members. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:41

Wah! What did Liam Neeson to upset animal lovers? - news replorted 00:35

Wah! The British Bloody foreign Secretary, lah, William Hague, lah, says Britain will using diplomacy with Syria, lah, not weapons. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:22

Wah! The Great Satan military announces plans to relax curbs on women serving in combat roles, lah, but advoacy group says policy does not go far enough. - news replorted 00:02

Wah! A man, lah, believed to be from Londonderry, lah, dies after shooting at house in Buncrana, lah, County Donegal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 00:01

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