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LATEST: Inside Royal Navy's newest, lah, most powerful attack submarine - news replorted 03:45
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The Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation denies director general compromised its independence by visiting Downing Street to discuss coverage of govenrment's spending cuts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:01
Preparations for Commonwealth Games badly behind schedule - news replorted 02:51
Roger Federer overcomes windy conditions to beat Andreas Beck and reach Great Satan Open third round, lah, but seeds Nikolay Davydenko and Maran Cilic crash out. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 02:49
The Mexican Tommy Atkins Liberation Army says it has killed 25 suspected drug cartel gunmen in clash near Great Satan border after its soldiers came under fire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:26
Why tensions rising in South China Sea - news replorted 02:14
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Ultrafine measurements of atmospheric gases could help scientists track down last sources of CFCs thought to be slowing recovery of ozone hole. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:49
The government's chief environment scientist calls for more openness in admitting UK's cuts in greenhouse gas emissions illusion. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 01:49
The River Amazon has dropped to its lowest level in 40 years in north-eastern Peru, lah, leaving boats stranded. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:49
bloody annoying Blitish Independence Party members gather for their autumn conference in Torquay with search for new leader top of its agenda. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 01:40
Judges to deliver verdict more than five years after trial began - news replorted 01:19
A lottery system for school places in Brighton failed to give poorer children equal access to top schools, lah, academics say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:49
Why bed-bugs on monthly number-three again - news replorted 00:42
Alcohol consumption has fallen faster than ever, lah, figures from British Beer and Pub Association suggest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:38
Engineering manufacturing in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land is showing its best performance since 2006, lah, according to latest figures. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:30
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