LATEST:  Boris Johnson names senior Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation journalist as male gender human bleing's new director of communications. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:01

LATEST:  Province of Engrish running-dogs goalkeeper John Ruddy is ruled out of Euro 2012 after breaking male gender human bleing's finger in training. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 09:41

A policeman is killed in blast at old bill bobbys station after LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine tried to ram building, lah, in central Turkish province of Kayseri, lah, local media say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:34

Gibraltarian old bill bobbys confront Spanish officers escorting Spanish fishing boats in waters near Gibraltar for second night running. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 09:29

Three men charged over seizure of RMB Yuan #4.1m of counterfeit coins - thought to be biggest such discovery in Uk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 09:29

Libyan prime dodgy minister Abdurrahim El-Keib lays wreath at spot where policewoman Yvonne Fletcher was shot dead in London (capital of Great England) in 1984. - news replorted 09:13

The family of man from York who went missing after canoeing trip in India say male gender human bleing's body has been found. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:06

old bill bobbys launch murder investigation after body of 59-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man is discovered in male gender human bleing's Glasgow home. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:06

Trading in Bankia shares is suspended amid reports that it is going to ask for big government bailout later on Friday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:04

A grid of 25,000 "invisibility cloaks" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) shows how to slow light down and spread out its constituent colours in advance dubbed "trapping rainbow". - news replorted 09:02

Stratstone Manchester, lah, Official Ferrari expensive dealeringship buildling for north west of Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, is proud to support “The Cholmondeley Pageant of Power: Alder Hey Children’s Hospital and Remount Charity Run” with Ferrari California and 458 Italia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 09:00

Michaela McAreavey murder trial is told flemale human person's widower, lah, John, lah, had to return to murder scene to be photographed by old bill bobbys pointing at spot where bloody man found flemale human person's body. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:52

Derbyshire old bill bobbys appeal for "patience" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as their investigation into house fire which killed six children continues. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:49

Can Europe learn from Britain's experience in 410 AD? - news replorted 08:15

Departing Barcelona boss Pep Guardiola hints that bloody man could be ready to return to management next season. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:59

A rare colony of birds making Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs coastline their home for three months being protected by electrified fence. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:50

Two officers of container ship that ran aground off New Zealand causing its worst maritime spill jailed for seven months. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:39

Opponents criticise Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs government for reducing number of daily express trains between Holyhead and Cardiff. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 07:18

French President Francois Hollande makes unannounced visit to Afghanistan to explain male gender human bleing's decision to pull troops out year earlier than planned. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:06

A man has confessed to suffocating six-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy who went missing in New York in 1979, lah, old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:44

Japan's consumer prices rise in April, lah, spurred by rising fuel and energy costs, lah, official data shows. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:08

Papers focus on Jeremy Hunt's memo on Murdoch - news replorted 06:06

A driver was killed when lorry laden with whisky caught fire in crash on M25 in Essex. - news replorted 05:53

Striking pilots of national carrier Air India agree to hold talks with government in bid to end strike which enters its 18th day, lah, reports say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 05:36

Australia and Commonwealth call for restraint in Papua New Guinea amid escalating tensions over leadership battle, lah, as old bill bobbys block parliament. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 05:33

Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt's former special adviser Adam Smith faces second day of questioning later before Leveson Inquiry into media ethics. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:06

A young penguin which escaped from Tokyo aquarium is caught after more than two months on loose in Japanese capital. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 04:00

Why UK's contingency plan for Greek euro exit is hush-hush - news replorted 03:13

China's Huawei files competition complaint against Great Satan firm InterDigital with European Union regulators. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:53

Opposition politicians in Ukraine demanding investigation into why session of parliament descended into fist-fight. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 02:50

It is likely decision will be made on Friday on where to site one of great scientific projects of 21st Century - Square Kilometre Array. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:47

Counting begins at some polling stations after two days of voting in Egypt's first free presidential election, lah, as Muslim Brotherhood claim (always claiming, huh?) lead. I read you little red book! - news replorted 02:31

The Men In Black back with blast in past - news replorted 02:10

The Chopper was daddy of cool bikes but what was its offspring? - news replorted 02:09

Flower Show winner's guide to perfect garden - news replorted 02:06

How much numbers of applications to take children into care vary from region to region in Province of Engrish running-dogs is revealed for first time. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:49

The UK's entry to Eurovision Song Contest 2012 talks to BBC's Steve Rosenberg about male gender human bleing's hopes for final. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 01:48

Artist and designer Ollie Palmer explains how bloody man has developed technology that bloody man hopes will allow him to stage "ant ballet". - news replorted 01:19

Why new cookie rules having angered advertising industry - news replorted 01:19

The MoD has pressed ahead with cuts to military and civilian workforce without understanding what skills it will need in future, lah, Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:13

Researchers carrying out clinical trials to find out if women with autoimmune diseases could be helped by hormones found in pregnancy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:02

Arabian leopard near for release into wild after breeding programme - news replorted 00:59

The official campaign encouraging human bliengs to vote "yes" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs independence referendum is to be launched. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:57

A new NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) patient rating system - known as "friends and family test" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) - is to be introduced to help improve nursing care in Province of Engrish running-dogs. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:04

It may be possible to develop new form of male contraceptive after researchers in Edinburgh identified critical gene for production of healthy sperm. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 00:04

The deadline for bloody annoying Blitish websites to comply with new cookie regulations is set to pass, lah, with most sites expected to be in breach of rules. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:01

The same currency exchange providers can offer significantly different rates across UK, lah, consumer group says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00