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The Citroën C4 is a small family car produced by French automaker Citroën since autumn 2004. The C4 was designed to be the successor to the Citroën Xsara. It is mechanically similar to the Peugeot 308, which was launched in 2007. A revised version with new front end and dashboard revisions was launched for the 2008/09 model year. A major selling-point of the Citroen C4 is its extensive use of technology. For example, the car features the Lane Departure Warning System, which alerts the driver if he or she crosses a road marking without using the turn signals; directional headlights; perfume dispenser integrated into the ventilation system; translucent dashboard, transparent glass roof; ESP, and a fixed steering wheel hub which lets the driver operate several functions of the car without removing his or her hands from the wheel. The fixed hub also allows for the first production use of a shaped driver airbag. Because the hub maintains a constant position, the airbag can be optimally shaped to spread the load across the greatest possible area of the driver's body in a collision, thus reducing the chances of serious injury. In addition, the car features an innovative centrally mounted translucent LCD speedometer display that remains clearly visible in all lighting conditions. Surprisingly, given the emphasis put on technology, the Citroen C4 In-Car Entertainment, while well integrated into the car's information system via CAN Bus, is not DAB ready. MP3 playback is supported by the entry level audio system and high-end audio with double layer sound insulated windows and integrated navigation system is available as extra. . The Citroen C4 does not feature Citroën's hydraulic suspension, which is reserved for higher class models, such as the C5 and C6. The Picasso version can get a pneumatic rear suspension. Underneath, the Citroen C4 uses an identical mechanical design to the contemporary Peugeot 307. Interestingly, its underpinnings date back to the 1991 Citroen ZX, although it is a huge leap forward over that and the Xsara that was produced between the ZX's demise and the C4's launch.
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UPDATE... The latest car I've added is a Citroen DS3 1.6 THP 16v (150bhp) DSport Hatchback 3dr 1598cc Petrol at £322.90 inc VAT at 14:43 on 11th Mar - Ling

CITROEN C4 LEASING CHEAPEST CITROEN FOR LEASE




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Customer Letter READ; 37 C4 letters!     
Fuel Cost
Petrol cost: £23/wk
Flat Paint
CITROEN C4
Treeco2:153g GFuel44mpg
euroNCAP
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Customer Letter READ; 37 C4 letters!     
Fuel Cost
Petrol cost: £24/wk
Flat Paint
CITROEN C4
Treeco2:159g GFuel42mpg
euroNCAP
Spacer
Customer Letter READ; 37 C4 letters!     
Fuel Cost
Diesel cost: £16/wk
Flat Paint
CITROEN C4
Treeco2:115g CFuel64mpg
euroNCAP
Spacer
Customer Letter READ; 37 C4 letters!     
Fuel Cost
Diesel cost: £16/wk
Flat Paint
CITROEN C4
Treeco2:115g CFuel64mpg
euroNCAP
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Car Leasing Contract Hire Spacer Cheap Car Lease Spacer Cheap Car Lease Spacer Car Leasing Contract Hire Spacer
NEW Citroen C4 1.4 VTi 16v (88bhp) VTR Hatchback 5dr 1360cc Petrol Flat
3+35 = 3 yr rent
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
£195.27
per month plus VAT
Deal ID = 77235
CAR FOR CASH
ALLOWANCE
USERS ONLY!
Spacer NEW Citroen C4 1.6 VTi 16v (120bhp) VTR Plus Hatchback 5dr 1598cc Petrol Flat
3+35 = 3 yr rent
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
£203.65
per month plus VAT
Deal ID = 77238
CAR FOR CASH
ALLOWANCE
USERS ONLY!
Spacer NEW Citroen C4 1.6 HDI 16v (88bhp) VTR Hatchback 5dr 1560cc Diesel Flat
3+35 = 3 yr rent
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
£207.15
per month plus VAT
Deal ID = 77237
CAR FOR CASH
ALLOWANCE
USERS ONLY!
Spacer NEW Citroen C4 1.6 HDI 16v (88bhp) VTR Plus Hatchback 5dr 1560cc Diesel Flat
3+35 = 3 yr rent
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
£212.97
per month plus VAT
Deal ID = 77241
CAR FOR CASH
ALLOWANCE
USERS ONLY!
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"Your website sold me instantly! Easy and straight forward" - Steve Vernon, DL1 1YS  ...1497 letters HERE
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Customer Letter READ; 37 C4 letters!     
Fuel Cost
Petrol cost: £24/wk
Flat Paint
CITROEN C4
Treeco2:159g GFuel42mpg
euroNCAP
Spacer
Customer Letter READ; 37 C4 letters!     
Fuel Cost
Petrol cost: £24/wk
Flat Paint
CITROEN C4
Treeco2:159g GFuel42mpg
euroNCAP
Spacer
Customer Letter READ; 37 C4 letters!     
Fuel Cost
Petrol cost: £24/wk
Flat Paint
CITROEN C4
Treeco2:159g GFuel42mpg
euroNCAP
Spacer
Customer Letter READ; 37 C4 letters!     
Fuel Cost
Diesel cost: £16/wk
Flat Paint
CITROEN C4
Treeco2:115g CFuel64mpg
euroNCAP
Spacer
Car Leasing Contract Hire Spacer Car Leasing Contract Hire Spacer Cheap Car Lease Spacer Car Leasing Contract Hire Spacer
NEW Citroen C4 1.6 VTi 16v (120bhp) VTR Plus Hatchback 5dr 1598cc Petrol Flat
3+23 = 2 yr rent
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
£230.19
per month plus VAT
Deal ID = 67753AX
Spacer NEW Citroen C4 1.6 VTi 16v (118bhp) VTR Hatchback 5dr 1598cc Petrol Flat
3+35 = 3 yr rent
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
£231.11
per month plus VAT
Deal ID = 77236
CAR FOR CASH
ALLOWANCE
USERS ONLY!
Spacer NEW Citroen C4 1.6 VTi 16v (118bhp) VTR Hatchback 5dr 1598cc Petrol Flat
3+35 = 3 yr rent
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
£225.89
per month plus VAT
Deal ID = 56882AX
Spacer NEW Citroen C4 1.6 HDI 16v (88bhp) VTR Plus Hatchback 5dr 1560cc Diesel Flat
3+23 = 2 yr rent
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
£239.46
per month plus VAT
Deal ID = 62795AX
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"not one company could beat Ling, with price or quality of service" - David Hodgson, Darlington FC  ...1497 letters HERE
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Customer Letter READ; 37 C4 letters!     
Fuel Cost
Petrol cost: £24/wk
Flat Paint
CITROEN C4
Treeco2:159g GFuel42mpg
euroNCAP
Spacer
Customer Letter READ; 37 C4 letters!     
Fuel Cost
Diesel cost: £16/wk
Flat Paint
CITROEN C4
Treeco2:119g CFuel62mpg
euroNCAP
Spacer
Customer Letter READ; 37 C4 letters!     
Fuel Cost
Petrol cost: £25/wk
Flat Paint
CITROEN C4
Treeco2:165g GFuel40mpg
euroNCAP
Spacer
Customer Letter READ; 37 C4 letters!     
Fuel Cost
Diesel cost: £16/wk
Flat Paint
CITROEN C4
Treeco2:119g CFuel62mpg
euroNCAP
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Business Cheap Car Lease Spacer Cheap Car Lease Spacer Business Cheap Car Lease Spacer Business Cheap Car Lease Spacer
NEW Citroen C4 1.6 i 16v (120bhp) Exclusive Hatchback 5dr 1598cc Petrol Flat
3+35 = 3 yr rent
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
£245.52
per month plus VAT
Deal ID = 77243
CAR FOR CASH
ALLOWANCE
USERS ONLY!
Spacer NEW Citroen C4 1.6 HDi (110bhp) VTR Plus Hatchback 5dr 1560cc Diesel Flat
3+35 = 3 yr rent
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
£246.47
per month plus VAT
Deal ID = 77240
CAR FOR CASH
ALLOWANCE
USERS ONLY!
Spacer NEW Citroen C4 1.6 VTi 16v (118bhp) VTR Plus Hatchback 5dr 1598cc Petrol Flat Auto
3+35 = 3 yr rent
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
£249.08
per month plus VAT
Deal ID = 77239
CAR FOR CASH
ALLOWANCE
USERS ONLY!
Spacer NEW Citroen C4 1.6 HDi (110bhp) VTR Plus Hatchback 5dr 1560cc Diesel Flat
3+35 = 3 yr rent
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
£238.42
per month plus VAT
Deal ID = 63207AX
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"It makes doing business with you a pleasure" - Mick Bowles, Ronin Events Ltd  ...1497 letters HERE
Spacer
Customer Letter READ; 37 C4 letters!     
Fuel Cost
Diesel cost: £16/wk
Flat Paint
CITROEN C4
Treeco2:115g CFuel64mpg
euroNCAP
Spacer
Customer Letter READ; 37 C4 letters!     
Fuel Cost
Petrol cost: £24/wk
Flat Paint
CITROEN C4
Treeco2:159g GFuel42mpg
euroNCAP
Spacer
Customer Letter READ; 37 C4 letters!     
Fuel Cost
Diesel cost: £18/wk
Flat Paint
CITROEN C4
Treeco2:128g DFuel58mpg
euroNCAP
Spacer
Customer Letter READ; 37 C4 letters!     
Fuel Cost
Diesel cost: £18/wk
Flat Paint
CITROEN C4
Treeco2:128g DFuel58mpg
euroNCAP
Spacer
Business Cheap Car Lease Spacer Business Cheap Car Lease Spacer Cheap Car Lease Spacer Cheap Car Lease Spacer
NEW Citroen C4 1.6 HDI 16v (110bhp) VTR Plus Hatchback 5dr 1560cc Diesel Flat Auto
3+35 = 3 yr rent
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
£253.49
per month plus VAT
Deal ID = 77242
CAR FOR CASH
ALLOWANCE
USERS ONLY!
Spacer NEW Citroen C4 1.6 i 16v (120bhp) Exclusive Hatchback 5dr 1598cc Petrol Flat
3+35 = 3 yr rent
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
£241.86
per month plus VAT
Deal ID = 55411AX
Spacer NEW Citroen C4 1.6 HDI 16v (110bhp) Exclusive Hatchback 5dr 1560cc Diesel Flat
3+35 = 3 yr rent
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
£244.81
per month plus VAT
Deal ID = 63328AX
Spacer NEW Citroen C4 1.6 HDI 16v (110bhp) Exclusive Hatchback 5dr 1560cc Diesel Flat
3+35 = 3 yr rent
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
£259.39
per month plus VAT
Deal ID = 77244
CAR FOR CASH
ALLOWANCE
USERS ONLY!
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"Ling is 100% trustworthy and delivers on her promises" - Alan Young, Words and Wishes Ltd  ...1497 letters HERE
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Customer Letter READ; 37 C4 letters!     
Fuel Cost
Diesel cost: £16/wk
Flat Paint
CITROEN C4
Treeco2:115g CFuel64mpg
euroNCAP
Spacer
Customer Letter READ; 37 C4 letters!     
Fuel Cost
Diesel cost: £16/wk
Flat Paint
CITROEN C4
Treeco2:120g CFuel62mpg
euroNCAP
Spacer
Customer Letter READ; 37 C4 letters!     
Fuel Cost
Diesel cost: £16/wk
Flat Paint
CITROEN C4
Treeco2:117g CFuel64mpg
euroNCAP
Spacer
Customer Letter READ; 37 C4 letters!     
Fuel Cost
Diesel cost: £16/wk
Flat Paint
CITROEN C4
Treeco2:120g CFuel62mpg
euroNCAP
Spacer
Car Leasing Contract Hire Spacer Business Cheap Car Lease Spacer Business Cheap Car Lease Spacer Business Cheap Car Lease Spacer
NEW Citroen C4 1.6 HDI 16v (110bhp) VTR Plus Hatchback 5dr 1560cc Diesel Flat Auto
3+35 = 3 yr rent
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
£247.04
per month plus VAT
Deal ID = 55405AX
Spacer NEW Citroen C4 1.6 HDI 16v (108bhp) Exclusive Hatchback 5dr 1560cc Diesel Flat Auto
3+35 = 3 yr rent
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
£260.03
per month plus VAT
Deal ID = 77245
CAR FOR CASH
ALLOWANCE
USERS ONLY!
Spacer NEW Citroen C4 1.6 HDi (92bhp) Airdream Plus Hatchback 5dr 1560cc Diesel Flat
3+35 = 3 yr rent
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
£263.80
per month plus VAT
Deal ID = 74586
Spacer NEW Citroen C4 1.6 HDI 16v (108bhp) Exclusive Hatchback 5dr 1560cc Diesel Flat Auto
3+35 = 3 yr rent
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
£251.78
per month plus VAT
Deal ID = 63711AX
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"I ordered a new red Fiat Punto, and got a Ferrari!" - Michael Schumaker, Monaco  ...1497 letters HERE
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Customer Letter READ; 37 C4 letters!     
Fuel Cost
Diesel cost: £16/wk
Free Metallic Paint
CITROEN C4
Treeco2:117g CFuel64mpg
euroNCAP
Spacer
Customer Letter READ; 37 C4 letters!     
Fuel Cost
Diesel cost: £18/wk
Flat Paint
CITROEN C4
Treeco2:128g DFuel58mpg
euroNCAP
Spacer
Customer Letter READ; 37 C4 letters!     
Fuel Cost
Diesel cost: £16/wk
Flat Paint
CITROEN C4
Treeco2:120g CFuel62mpg
euroNCAP
Spacer   
Car Leasing Contract Hire Spacer Car Leasing Contract Hire Spacer Car Leasing Contract Hire Spacer
NEW Citroen C4 1.6 HDi (92bhp) Airdream Plus Hatchback 5dr 1560cc Diesel Met
3+35 = 3 yr rent
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
£271.00
per month plus VAT
Deal ID = 74587
Spacer NEW Citroen C4 1.6 HDI 16v (110bhp) Exclusive Hatchback 5dr 1560cc Diesel Flat
3+23 = 2 yr rent
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
£277.27
per month plus VAT
Deal ID = 67537AX
Spacer NEW Citroen C4 1.6 HDI 16v (108bhp) Exclusive Hatchback 5dr 1560cc Diesel Flat Auto
3+23 = 2 yr rent
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
£288.39
per month plus VAT
Deal ID = 63710AX
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"Ling wins everytime. Unbeatable value, top service and a human" - Dale Mykoliw, Stairways Ltd  ...1497 letters HERE
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...want to know what it's got?
 
Citroen C4 Citroen C4 equipment
(Really, I do my best to list stuff on this Citroen, but never 100% accurate.
You MUST check Citroen website before relying on this info - Ling)
Citroen C4
LX
Spec includes:
Anti-lock brakes
Body-coloured bumpers
CD Player
Cruise control
Isofix child anchors
Remote radio controls
Steel wheels
Citroen C4
SX BioFlex
Same as LX but minus:
Body-coloured bumpers
Steel wheels
adds:
Aircon
Alloys
Front fogs
Citroen C4
SX
Same as SX BioFlex but adds:
[Body-coloured bumpers]
[Traction control]
[Item] = Not always present

Citroen C4
Cachet
Same as SX
Citroen C4
Cool
Same as SX
Citroen C4
Airdream
Same as SX but adds:
Parking bleepers

Citroen C4
VTR Plus
Same as SX but adds:
Sports seats
Citroen C4
Exclusive
Same as VTR Plus but minus:
CD Player
Sports seats
adds:
[CD Player Multichanger]
Car Alarm
[Headlight washers]
Heated mirrors
Parking bleepers
[Item] = Not always present
Citroen C4
LX
Spec includes:
Anti-lock brakes
Body-coloured bumpers
CD Player
Cruise control
Isofix child anchors
Remote radio controls
Steel wheels

Citroen C4
VTR
Same as LX but adds:
Aircon
Front fogs
Citroen C4
SX BioFlex
Same as VTR but minus:
Body-coloured bumpers
Steel wheels
adds:
Alloys
Citroen C4
SX
Same as SX BioFlex but adds:
[Body-coloured bumpers]
[Traction control]
[Item] = Not always present

Citroen C4
Cachet
Same as SX
Citroen C4
Cool
Same as SX
Citroen C4
Airdream
Same as SX but adds:
Parking bleepers

Citroen C4
VTR Plus
Same as SX but adds:
Sports seats
Citroen C4
Exclusive
Same as VTR Plus but minus:
CD Player
adds:
[CD Player Multichanger]
Car Alarm
[Headlight washers]
[Heated mirrors]
Parking bleepers
[Sat Nav]
[Item] = Not always present
 

How Long
...also worth to look at the cars in the scrolly-bar below!

CITROEN C4 COUPE
Citroen C4 Coupe
£199.99 /mth
+ VAT

"Hob-Nobbingly cheap!"
SKODA YETI
Skoda Yeti
£235.99 /mth
+ VAT

"Distressingly cheap!"
FORD FIESTA
Ford Fiesta
£158.99 /mth
+ VAT

"Bogglingly cheap!"
PEUGEOT 308
Peugeot 308
£197.63 /mth
+ VAT

"Horrendously cheap!"
TOYOTA AYGO
Toyota Aygo
£148.08 /mth
+ VAT

"Gobblingly cheap!"
FORD MONDEO
Ford Mondeo
£274.99 /mth
+ VAT

"Brilliantly cheap!"
SKODA FABIA
Skoda Fabia
£148.99 /mth
+ VAT

"Grabbingly cheap!"
MINI COOPER
Mini Cooper
£226.26 /mth
+ VAT

"So cheap it hurts!"
MAZDA 2
Mazda 2
£148.00 /mth
+ VAT

"Ryanair cheap!"
TOYOTA PRIUS
Toyota Prius
£262.99 /mth
+ VAT

"So cheap it hurts!"
SKODA SUPERB ESTATE
Skoda Superb Estate
£271.74 /mth
+ VAT

"Too cheap for my site!"
FORD FIESTA
Ford Fiesta
£179.99 /mth
+ VAT

"Hob-Nobbingly cheap!"
NISSAN PIXO
Nissan Pixo
£119.23 /mth
+ VAT

"Cheap! Cheap! Cheap!"
CITROEN DS3
Citroen DS3
£199.97 /mth
+ VAT

"Cheap! Cheap! Cheap!"
  EXTRA CHEAP!
  EXTRA CHEAP!


If you can't find the deal or car you're looking for, use the tools below or request a bespoke leasing quote!

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CAR-U-LIKE-ATOR

Play with my fruit machine petrol pump and see which cars it chooses for you!

Request car lease Quote

Fill in my quote request form and I'll do my best to find a cheap car to match your requirement!

imageimage

Leasing Price List

I have over 500 lease cars on my price list. View it here (it may be easier to print onto paper)!

Top 20 Lease Cars

View my Top Of The Pops and see which leasing cars are the current best sellers. This may inspire you!

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Live Chat

If all else fails contact me during office hours for an online chat about your car.


...how it works!


1) Choose a car to lease or get a quote


2) Fill in online car leasing proposal form


3) Get accepted for contract hire finance


4) Sign an lease order form


5) Complete posted documents


6) Take lease delivery, like Chinese takeaway


7) Drive and show off & impress stupid friends


8) After a few years, order a new lease car or walk away... you have no commitment!

PEOPLE OF BRITAIN
...you can trust me,
I AM LING!
      

            


CLICK! See 215 clients live in LINGO!
CLICK to VIEW!
Online Service
Response Times
Quote > Proposal > Order > Delivery
 
54 CLIENTS IN 'PROPOSAL'
...LING REPLIES IN:
  HRS : MINUTES sec  
 
161 CLIENTS IN 'ORDER'
...LING REPLIES IN:
  HRS : MINUTES sec  
Customers use my secure LINGO management system.
Response times above based on last 4 hour period between
9am - 6pm, Mon to Fri
-Ling

No Waiting
 
MINI BLOG
 
NO FM CAR RADIO IN 2015
Posted: 04/03/10
Comments ( 0 )
NO FM CAR RADIO IN 2015 Listening to the radio in our cars is something we all take for granted. Every car these days comes with a good quality radio, and... READ MORE
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I am GAY ICON! WoW!
Posted: 04/02/10
Comments ( 1 )
I am GAY ICON! WoW! How amazing! I have my first Civil Partnership couple, both applying a car EACH! That was two weeks ago; the sensible one has alre... READ MORE
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Hello, hello! This is me!
Don't run, little customers! I'm friendly...
I am the Viz UK business ambassador!
Post me Ferrero-Rochers! Yum Yum!
Unlike most other internet car leasing sites, I publish all my contact information openly!
...so, you know who I am
- Ling


THE UK's FAVOURITE
CAR LEASING WEBSITE!

The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD
LING World Headquarters
Vance Business Park
Gateshead, NE11 9NE
Tel 0191 460 9444
Fax 0870 486 1130
sales@LINGsCARS.com
I prefer email to phone - Ling
VAT No: 866 0241 30
Co Reg No: 6178634
Consumer Credit Licence: 624022
Data Protection No: Z1098490
Best Before: 17/08/2007
LING World HQ
People's Republic of Gateshead!

 

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LATEST: Actress Kate Winslet and flemale human person's husband Sam Mendes having split up, lah, their lawyers having announced. I read you little red book! - news replorted 17:47



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British Airways will fly about 60% of its clustomlers, lah, even if cabin crew go ahead with their planned strike this weekend. I read you little red book! - news replorted 17:43



A "misguided fantasist" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) is jailed for two years for building makeshift bombs in male gender human bleing's bedroom in Lancashire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 17:43



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The Great Satan Defence Department may investigate one of its staff over claim (always claiming, huh?) bloody man ran unofficial spy ring in Afghanistan and Pakistan. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 17:38



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A settlements row has pushed US-Israeli relations to their lowest point for 35 years, lah, top Israeli envoy is quoted as saying. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 16:45



A violent schizophrenic man killed young father months after bloody man was fined for brutally attacking student, lah, court hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:32



Credit card holders will be offered more protection from spiralling debts, lah, but changes watered down from original plans. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:25



A transatlantic airline and boat repair capitalist entity announce they creating almost 300 jobs in Swansea. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 16:00



A victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) of serial abuser Fr Brendan Smyth calls on head of Catholic Church in Ireland, lah, Cardinal Sean Brady, lah, to resign. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 15:59



Remember QXL and Beenz? 10 now defunct dotcoms - news replorted 15:47



Prime dodgy minister Gordon "Dear Leader" Brown says planned strike by British Airways cabin staff is "unjustified" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and comes at "wrong time". - news replorted 15:43



Hundreds of thousands of human bliengs rally in northern India to mark 25th anniversary of party representing low-caste Hindus. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:42



How serious is David Beckham's injury? - news replorted 15:36



A nuclear submarine commander whose vessel ran aground in Red Sea is reprimanded by court martial. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 15:35



A soldier blinded by grenade in Iraq says male gender human bleing's life has been turned around by technology that allows him to "see" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) with male gender human bleing's tongue. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 15:23



A new approach is needed to give greater priority to care and support of rape victims, lah, major review says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:00



David Beckham arrives in Finland for surgery on male gender human bleing's Achilles tendon, lah, which looks set to rule him out of World Cup. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 14:58



Province of Engrish running-dogs and Wales' Euro 2012 qualifying fixtures will be decided by random draw after nations in Group G fail to agree on acceptable dates. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:54



What's so wrong with being called kingmaker? - news replorted 14:21



South African judge convicts ANC official Julius Malema of hate speech for insulting woman who accused Jacob Zuma of rape. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:16



A second person is held over death of couple who were killed when fire in mobility scooter spread to their home in Rugby. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:12



The Israeli military has ordered two West capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity villages at centre of protests against "separation wall" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) off-limits. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:09



A man is arrested over death of mother-of-three who went missing after night out in Dundee. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:08



Thailand's prime dodgy minister rejects protesters' demands for male gender human bleing's resignation, lah, as red-shirt rallies continue in Bangkok. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 13:57



Gordon "Dear Leader" Brown says bloody man wantings to "keep going", lah, after being asked if bloody man would resign if Labour failed to win general election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:52



Children's Secretary Ed Balls criticises children's commissioner for "ill advised" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) written-down messages on dead tree about James Bulger's killers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:47



Children's Secretary Ed Balls criticises children's commissioner for "ill advised" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) written-down messages on dead tree about James Bulger's killers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:47



Governments need to crack down on illegal trade in tiger parts if big cats to be saved from extinction, lah, UN warns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:47



EU Bloody foreign policy chief Catherine Ashton begins Middle East tour amid tension over Israeli housing project in East Jerusalem. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 13:22



Friends actor David Schwimmer is to marry male gender human bleing's British photographer girlfriend Zoe Buckman. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:15



The chief executive of Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Water is to give quarter of male gender human bleing's annual bonus to charity, lah, bloody man announces. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:13



The pay of university heads has soared with some now earning more than prime minister, lah, report says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:12



Teenagers, lah, Shakespeare and Lady Gaga - news replorted 12:40



Fitness tests should be introduced for children in secondary schools to help make human bliengs more active, lah, chief medical officer for Province of Engrish running-dogs says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:31



Lip gloss and hair straighteners replace lipstick and hair dryers in typical basket of velly damn good boiled chicken-feets used to calculate inflation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:27



The head of Catholic Church in autonomous province of Guinness drinkers says bloody man will only resign over alleged abuse "cover-up" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) if Pope asks him to so. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 12:25



David Beckham is flying to Finland for surgery on male gender human bleing's Achilles tendon, lah, which looks set to rule him out of World Cup. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 12:18



India's government approves bill to allow Bloody foreign universities to set up campuses and offer degrees to students in India. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 12:12



Research suggests that key Tory constituencies could suffer most from Conservative policy on super-fast broadband. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:59



Two men in their 20s appear in court in Newry on Monday charged with terrorism offences after old bill bobbys operation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:48



Robbie Williams' Sport Relief single, lah, Morning Sun, lah, fails to make top 40 bloody annoying Blitish singles chart. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:44



Most old bill bobbys forces in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep still unfairly target black and Asian human bliengs in their using of stop and search powers, lah, equality watchdog says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:42



An elderly woman suffered serious neglect at Teesside care home because of widespread failings, lah, review finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:41



A massive power failure plunges much of earthquake-hit Chile into darkness, lah, affecting up to 90% of population. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:37



Sixty-nine human bliengs arrested in six European countries as part of co-ordinated old bill bobbys operation against Georgian mafia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 11:34



Former patients of hospital consultant struck off after one of male gender human bleing's patients died speak of their suffering at male gender human bleing's hands. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:31



A parliamentary committee raise concerns over leadership of bloody annoying Blitish equalities chief Trevor Phillips and questions male gender human bleing's reappointment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:31



Reindeer having "switched off" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) their internal body clocks to survive dark winters and light summers in Arctic. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 11:20



Hull City manager Phil "Dear Leader" Brown has been relieved of male gender human bleing's duties at struggling Premier League club and put on gardening leave. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:08



The bloody annoying Blitish Bloody foreign Secretary David Miliband is in China to hold discussions with country's political leaders. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:59



Province of Engrish running-dogs require five wickets to win first Test against Bangladesh after hosts close day four on 191-5, lah, still 321 runs behind. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:57



What is behind Nick Clegg's refusal to pick party? - news replorted 10:40



South East Asian nations ramping up their military capacity in move that could destabilise region, lah, report says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:34



A man whose home was raided as part of terror probe says male gender human bleing's property has not been returned, lah, although inquiry was dropped. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:53



What UK's dotcom pioneers doing now? - news replorted 09:51



The Great Satan gets ready for wars fought in cyberspace - news replorted 09:27



A deadline for Darfur rebels and Sudan's government to finalise peace deal is unlikely to be met, lah, amid rebel split. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:09



Peter Graves - star of TV series Mission: Impossible and Airplane films - dies in Los Angeles, lah, aged 83. - news replorted 08:54



The internet domain name dotcom celebrates its 25th anniversary as nearly 86 million active internet sites now using it. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:49



Coronation Street actor Danny Young is voted off ITV1's Dancing on Ice following costly mistake in skate-off. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 08:28



An inquiry is launched to find out how inmate at high-security Frankland jail managed to stab three officers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:25



David Beckham's dream of playing in fourth World Cup looks over after bloody man tears Achilles tendon in AC Milan's 1-0 win over Chievo. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 08:11



old bill bobbys make four arrests after body of 46-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man was discovered at male gender human bleing's home in south Welsh land of sheep and more sheep valleys on Friday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:48



A suicide bomber explodes LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine in Iraqi city of Falluja, lah, killing at least seven human bliengs and wounding 13, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:31



China National Offshore Oil Corporation is paying $3.1bn for 50% stake in Argentine oil and gas group Bridas Corporation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:26



Gavin Hewitt on how mid-term polls seen in France - news replorted 07:23



Pakistani fighter jets target suspected Taliban hideouts in north-western Orakzai tribal area, lah, killing at least nine. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:17



The Catholic primate of all-autonomous province of Guinness drinkers rejects calls to resign over claim (always claiming, huh?) bloody man helped cover up sex abuse investigation in 1970s. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:52



The environment dodgy minister is expected to claim (always claiming, huh?) Welsh land of sheep and more sheep has potential to produce twice its renewable energy needs in future. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:37



Brazil's president arrives in Israel at start of Middle East tour to throw male gender human bleing's country's weight behind peace process. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:07



How German POWs helped build bloody Engrish icon - news replorted 06:01



The internet domain name dotcom celebrates its 25th anniversary as nearly 86 million active internet sites now using it. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 05:55



Commissioner comes under fire over Venables - news replorted 05:25



At least 26 students killed and dozens hurt when bus plunges into river in India's northern state of Rajasthan. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 04:19



Pupils at four schools in Glasgow being given lessons in how to sleep. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 03:32



Pupils at four schools in Glasgow being given lessons in how to sleep. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 03:32



President Sarkozy's party faces defeat from Socialists in regional elections, lah, which also saw strong showing by National Front. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 03:16



Bangladesh dig deep and take first Test into final day after Province of Engrish running-dogs's bowlers struggle to wrap up victory in Chittagong. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 02:56



Ban Ki-moon tells Haiti world will continue to support them as they recover from devastating earthquake. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:44



Best in Show finale brings Crufts Dog Show to close - news replorted 01:44



A parliamentary committee raise concerns over leadership of bloody annoying Blitish equalities chief Trevor Phillips and questions male gender human bleing's reappointment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:23



Cancer patients losing out on benefit payments worth millions of pounds, lah, according to leading charity. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:23



Greens can't getting Japan to blubber for dead whales - news replorted 00:59



Exercise and diet key to prevent diabetes in high-risk people, lah, say experts who found two medicines offer no benefit. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:01



'They believe Mummy is angel watching them' - news replorted 00:01



There needs to be "radical overhaul" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu travel in bloody annoying Blitish to avoid future gridlock, lah, CBI warns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00



The royalties bloody annoying Blitish songwriters getting from online sales now growing faster than decline from CDs and DVDs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00




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