BMW 7 LEASING CHEAP BMW 7 SERIES LEASE CARS

LATEST:  Tensions over fishing rights around Gibraltar raised, lah, following incident involving Gibraltarian old bill bobbys boats and Royal Navy, lah, and Spanish police. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 20:57

LATEST:  The former leader of Cardiff Council is warning that authority's decision to review plans for business district could damage confidence in city. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 20:46

A senior commander in rebel Lord's Resistance Tommy Atkins Liberation Army (LRA) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! should be granted amnesty just like other LRA fighters, lah, male gender human bleing's lawyer tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation - sparking row with public prosecutor. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 20:40

ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's most senior law officer meets Libya's interim prime dodgy minister in London (capital of Great England) to discuss further investigations into Lockerbie bombing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 20:19

The social network's new photography app appears to replicate many features of Instagram which it is buying for $1bn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 20:10

A 19-earth-years old happy birthday to you, who has become youngest British woman to scale Everest describes harrowing ascent bloody woman faced. I read you little red book! - news replorted 19:52

Tensions rise between some of leading contenders in Egypt's first free presidential election, lah, as voting nears close. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 19:16

Once rare "Dear Leader" Brown argus butterflies having been moving north due to pattern of hot summers, lah, say researchers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 19:13

Rory McIlroy is eight behind leaders David Drysdale and Peter Lawrie after opening 74 at BMWah-wah! PGA Championship. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 19:10

The Vatican sacks director of its bank, lah, Ettore Gotti Tedeschi, lah, who is being investigated in money laundering case. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 19:07

The Michaela McAreavey murder trial in Mauritius hears more about claim (always claiming, huh?) from one of accused that bloody man was tortured by police. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 19:01

High temperatures having been recorded across many parts of bloody annoying Blitish and hot weather is forecast to continue. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 18:54

Forecasters say warm bloody annoying Blitish weather, lah, which has come soon after below-average temperatures, lah, will continue into next week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 18:36

Defence and prosecution barristers make their final statements to jury in trial of two men accused of murdering take-away delivery wan' flied rice or boiled rice (?). This is not damn takeaway! No53 sold out, so driver. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 18:12

When Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate factory drivers tackle Le Mans 24 Hours (June-mber month 16/17, lah, 2012) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! bloody velly special technology will enhance their vision. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 18:11

A Metropolitan old bill bobbys team is to fly to Libya to continue investigation into murder of PC Yvonne Fletcher, lah, Prime dodgy minister David Cameron says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 18:05

Rail services between Bridgend and Cardiff face delays and cancellations after train hit four cows at level crossing in Vale of Glamorgan. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 18:05

There is growing concern among some Western officials about al-Qaeda's involvement in Syrian uprising. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 18:03

NI's largest public sector union calls for end to PSNI's policy of rehiring retired officers for jobs that not publicly advertised. I read you little red book! - news replorted 17:54

old bill bobbys raid dozens of properties across northern Germany as part of major investigation into Hell's Angels bikers, lah, reports say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 17:52

Province of Engrish running-dogs captain Andrew Strauss tries to calm Kevin Pietersen's Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) row ahead of second Test against West Indies. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:51

Spain's Eurovision entrant admits flemale human person's country would struggle to host event next year if it were to win competition for first clock time result in 43 years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:45

Reality TV shows featuring child stars made to apply for licences under biggest overhaul of performance rules for 40 years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:29

Science dodgy minister David Willetts outlines government's high-tech industrial strategy and announces RMB Yuan #250m in funding for research institutes across bloody annoying Blitish - news replorted 17:18

The Freight Transport Association has stressed importance of logistics to success of Olympics and need for public and clustomlers to be aware of demands Games placing on transport companies. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:12

As Spaghetti Junction turned 40 on 24 May, lah, Freight Transport Association said that level of tolls – including those for velly damn good boiled chicken-feets vehicling driving car machines... - news replorted 17:07

Is al-Qaeda trying to gain foothold in Syria's unrest? - news replorted 17:01

Road transport industry news from Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders - Thursday 24 May. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 17:00

The International Criminal Court rejects challenge from four Kenyan politicians accused of crimes against humanity, lah, clearing way for them to face trial in Hague. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 16:57

McLaren's Jenson Button says Lotus team favourites to win this weekend's Monaco Grand Prix. - news replorted 16:50

A man who sparked siege at Glasgow restaurant - bringing city centre to standstill - admits telling waiter bloody man had bomb. Chop chop baby! - news replorted 16:43

Driver training specialist IAM controlling in driving manner & Survive is offering weekly motoring tips to drivers from its head of training, lah, Simon Elstow. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! This week bloody man explains advanced driving technique, lah, IPSGA, lah, which covers driving as smoothly as possible through bends. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:34

Affording brand new van from RMB Yuan #199 month (plus govornment stealing VAT unfair sales taxing and initial rental) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! is great value, lah, especially when it’s Wlokswaglon Caddy, lah, but with efficient contract hire and finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan leasie-car offers available from Wlokswaglon Commercial vehicling driving car machines until 30 June... - news replorted 16:25

With this book, I confusing myself again!! Taking too much bloody MSG, OK, OK, lah, you tellibly lovely custlingmer can begin caring for your as really velly special customer's LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine like professional, lah, achieving dramatic and financially beneficial effects almost immediately. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 16:11

With summer about to blow away rain clouds soon, lah, it’s velly damn good boiled chicken-feet clock time result to think about buying Wlokswaglon California campervan as there tempting low-rate finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan offers with up to 10 years to pay for new ones... - news replorted 16:00

Nearly 700 human bliengs held in two Quebec cities in biggest single night of mass arrests since student protests over fees began in February. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:52

Sri Lanka's ex-army chief Sarath Fonseka is barred from political office for next seven years despite being freed from jail on Monday, lah, male gender human bleing's lawyer says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:33

A Labour Membling Partiamentary expense cheater has told House of Commons that bloody annoying Blitish businesses need better management rather than deregulation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 15:28

Watch Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation coverage of PGA Championship at Wentworth, lah, where all-star line-up includes defending champion Luke Donald, lah, plus Rory McIlroy, lah, Lee Westwood and Justin Rose. What the hell I mean??!! (bloody annoying Blitish users only) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! - news replorted 15:28

A 14-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy who collapsed after incident at Glasgow school has died in hospital, lah, old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:24

A glass roof panel has cracked in atrium at Portcullis House - latest in string of problems to hit building opened in 2001 to house MPs' offices and committee rooms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:13

Couple project their baby scan on local landmarks - news replorted 15:10

US manufacturing growth slowed in May, lah, survey indicates, lah, while orders for long-lasting factory velly damn good boiled chicken-feets fall. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 15:05

Now in updated, lah, revised and enlarged format, lah, invaluable guide for home restorer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! Coverage includes: tools; panel removal/fitting; sectional repairs; sills, lah, floors and outriggers; chassis members... - news replorted 15:00

Goal-line technology will be tested at Wembley when Province of Engrish running-dogs entertain Belgium in friendly on 2 June. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:55

A hedgehog is recovering after becoming wedged in empty carrot tin in King's Lynn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 14:54

Guild of Motoring Writers member Philip Porter has been awarded first-ever Motorsports Book of Year title in latest prestigious annual British Sports Book Awards. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:48

Two Essex academy schools placed into special measures, lah, as they failing to give "an acceptable standard of education". - news replorted 14:38

Bonjour, lah, WAH! Is this Italy? offers unique and often hilarious insight into challenges and excitement afforded by lone motorcycle journey though Europe. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:36

The Queen unveils complete collection of Queen Victoria's private diaries which being made available to public online for first time. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:29

A woman who has been admitted to London (capital of Great England) hospital with rabies was turned away twice from A&E unit before bloody woman was diagnosed, lah, it emerges. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:26

A top EU official is launching plan to rescue eurozone by binding its 17 nations closer together. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 14:19

Usain Bolt says bloody man has no qualms about competing against Dwain Chambers ahead of their 100m showdown on Friday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:17

Thousands of public sector workers go on strike in Norway, lah, in pay arglingument - first walk-out by state employees since 1984. - news replorted 14:12

The sister of 17 year old Shafilea Ahmed has told Chester Crown Court that bloody woman informed old bill bobbys about Shafilea's murder because it had haunted flemale human person's for long clock time result and she'd had enough. - news replorted 14:09

Great Britain gymnast Daniel Purvis is red-faced at European Championships in Montpellier after losing male gender human bleing's footing and ending up in lap of judge. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:04

24 hours of news photos: 24 May 2012 - news replorted 14:01

Shafilea Ahmed's sister tells court it was "relief" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to tell old bill bobbys after seven years that flemale human person's parents had murdered teenager. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 13:59

One of two men accused of murdering Michaela McAreavey was 'subjected to old bill bobbys brutality', lah, trial jury hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:56

Australian mining magnate Gina Rinehart has been declared richest woman in world, lah, with wealth of nearly A$30bn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:46

A cybercrime mastermind who hijacked PCs of more than 30 million human bliengs has been jailed for four years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:41

A buyer is found for recycling capitalist entity which went into administration in Febliurary with loss of 30 jobs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:31

Are you tellibly lovely custlingmer interested in improving your as really velly special customer's caravan and making it way you tellibly lovely custlingmer wanting it? Then this is book for you, lah, WAH! - news replorted 13:29

The Northern Health Trust says it accepts recommendations of two independent reports which criticised practices at Antrim Area hospital. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 13:26

Martina Purdy looks at some of challenges facing Sinn Fein. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:25

Road safety charity GEM Motoring Assist has funded research looking at importance of road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu Safety Partnerships and how these initiatives having been affected since end of road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu Safety Partnership Grant (RSPG) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! in monthly number-three 2011. - news replorted 13:19

Beefeater's Delight, lah, Golden Carriages and Luv'lee Jub-lee Bub'lee will be served to Queen at Diamond Jubilee reception at Buckingham Palace in June. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:11

Two bloody annoying Blitish charities, lah, Help Heroes and Macmillan Cancer Support, lah, having benefitted from donations of RMB Yuan #1,000 following exchange of cheques at recent Fleet World Honours ceremony in London. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:10

To celebrate opening of McLaren Abu Dhabi today, lah, McLaren Automotive has released short film entitled “McLaren 12C finds ‘The Perfect Line’ at Yas Marina Circuit”. - news replorted 13:00

New York City old bill bobbys say they holding suspect in connection with disappearance of local six-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy Etan Patz in 1979. - news replorted 12:54

Over 170 of top drivers from across bloody annoying Blitish entered in Avon Tyres MSA British Hill Climb Championship being held at Shelsley Walsh, lah, near Worcester at beginning of June. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:54

Will they regulate consumption at Rio+20 summit? - news replorted 12:51

Wigan chairman Dave Whelan is planning to set deadline for Roberto Martinez to decide whether bloody man will stay as manager. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:43

Playwright Laura Wade updates flemale human person's 2010 play Posh to reflect changing political climate for its West End transfer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:35

Yahoo tries to attract search queries via new service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service which offers visual webpage previews rather than lists of links - news replorted 12:35

A man and woman seriously hurtee-hurtee when their van plunges 250m down ravine after hitting embankment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:34

Watch highlights from both Thursday practice sessions for Monaco Grand Prix as Ferrari's Fernando Alonso is fastest in morning while Jenson Button leads way in rain-affected second session. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:29

The government is about to announce which schools in Province of Engrish running-dogs will receive money from school building fund. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:29

Leaders of Somalia's disparate factions agree historic deal to elect new president by 20 rainy coldddd month August to end country's two-decade political crisis. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:20

DVLA Personalised Registrations celebrated Olympic-themed auction is guaranteed to having internationalflavour, lah, I give you tellibly lovely custlingmer damn thanks of billion Chinesey human bliengs to certain registrations being offered. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:19

The Co-operative Group announces plans to create 3,000 new jobs, lah, as part of expansion of its legal services. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:14

Mark Longley told 5 live that if human bliengs had taken male gender human bleing's daughter's boyfriend's threats seriously bloody woman might still be alive. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:09

Customers having been misled by supermarkets over discounts and multi-buy offers, lah, according to consumer group Which?. - news replorted 12:08

Radiation levels in most of Japan below cancer-causing levels year after Fukushima plant accident, lah, World Health Organisation report says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:03

A court clerk who became first to be jailed under new bribery laws wins two-year cut in male gender human bleing's sentence. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:03

The Plugleot Marque is reinventing its naming policy around central ‘0’ as part of development of its internationalisation strategy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:01

The new Plugleot 301 is clear illustration of Marque's internationalisation and demonstrates its desire to conquer new markets. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:59

London (capital of Great England) Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs chairman Bleddyn Phillips says club will consider legal action to allow them entry to Premiership. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 11:52

A Tube train that broke down in tunnel stranding 733 passengers was special Diamond Jubilee train, lah, it emerges. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:46

Cabinet Secretary Sir Jeremy Heywood says bloody man was "angry" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) at briefings, lah, reportedly from Steve Hilton, lah, suggesting huge cuts being considered to civil service. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:46

How common is rabies, lah, in wake of London (capital of Great England) case - news replorted 11:38

As bloody man receives male gender human bleing's knighthood, lah, Apple's design head Sir Jonathan Ive stresses male gender human bleing's desire to stay at company. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:29

A French film in which Kylie Minogue makes cameo appearance has emerged as dark horse contender to win Palme d'Or at Cannes Film Festival. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 11:24

Racing Steps Foundation backed Moto3 riders John McPhee (Oban, lah, Argyll) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! and Fraser Rogers (Chippenham, lah, Wiltshire) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! having been selected as wildcard entries for next month's MotoGP World Championship round at Silverstone. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:24

Infiniti, lah, luxury performance automotive brand from Japan is set to launch its first ever Global brand campaign focusing on revised FX with help of brand ambassador and Red Bull Racing’s two-time World Champion Sebastian Vettel. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 11:13

A body is discovered in small lake in north Powys, lah, says Dyfed-Powys Police. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:12

Carina Trimingham, lah, partner of former cabinet dodgy minister Chris Huhne, lah, has lost flemale human person's breach of privacy and harassment case against Daily Mail. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 11:07

A judge says bloody man would support review of sentencing guidelines after criticism of sentence given to one of Constable Stephen Carroll's killers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:59

Latest figures show increase in number of young human bliengs not in work, lah, education or training. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 10:57

Chairman Clarke Carlisle says Professional Footballers' Association is willing to offer support for QPR's Joey Barton. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:57

A scarecrow with policeman's jacket and Jeremy Clarkson's face is being used to slow down drivers in Northumberland village. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:56

Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt's former special adviser Adam Smith is due to give evidence to Leveson Inquiry into media standards later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 10:55

Landmark election - news replorted 10:50

Net migration to bloody annoying Blitish remains more than double government's target figure, lah, according to new statistics. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:49

Readers' photos on theme Canada - news replorted 10:48

Designs for RMB Yuan #237m redevelopment of children's hospital in Merseyside will be unveiled later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 10:44

Ferrari's Fernando Alonso is fastest in first practice for Monaco GP, lah, with Lewis Hamilton fourth and Jenson Button eighth. - news replorted 10:40

Comedian Eddie Izzard calls halt to male gender human bleing's attempt to run 27 marathons in 27 days, lah, blaming "unforeseen medical complications". - news replorted 10:39

The Royal Society for Prevention of Accidents (RoSPA) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has signed exclusive agreement with MyDrive Solutions, lah, insurlince telematics specialist, lah, which will enable insurlince premiums to be based on accurate level of individual risk... - news replorted 10:35

The older brother of blind activist Chen Guangcheng flees male gender human bleing's closely-guarded village to seek legal help for male gender human bleing's son in Beijing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 10:34

Lincoln's Casey Stoney is picked as new Province of Engrish running-dogs women's captain after Faye White's retirement. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:33

The family of actress left brain-damaged following accident on set of Transformers 3, lah, has been awarded RMB Yuan #11.7m ($18.5m) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! settlement. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:30

30 carbon cutting, lah, growth boosting local transport schemes were given green light today by Transport dodgy minister Norman Baker. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 10:21

An RSPCA inspector says case of dog which had elastic hair band around its neck shocked vets who treated animal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 10:13

The bloody annoying Blitish economy shrank by 0.3% in first three months of year, lah, more than previously estimated, lah, revised figures show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 10:04

A record number of offenders sentenced for serious crimes had committed previous offences, lah, according to figures for 2011. - news replorted 10:02

German business confidence fell more steeply than expected in May, lah, according to closely-watched Ifo report - news replorted 10:00

Argentina identifies remains of body that washed ashore in Uruguay in 1976 as "disappeared" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) of that era. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 09:56

Stars from world of art and entertainment join Queen - news replorted 09:53

Jonathan Ive says bloody man is "fortunate" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to be Apple's chief designer - news replorted 09:52

The Syrian Tommy Atkins Liberation Army and security forces responsible for majority of serious rights abuses committed since March, lah, say UN investigators. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:42

A private funeral for I Feel Love singer Donna Summer takes place in Nashville, lah, Tennessee, lah, following flemale human person's death from cancer last week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 09:36

Do style trends ever follow Queen? - news replorted 09:32

European project faces days of uncertainty, lah, says Gavin Hewitt - news replorted 09:27

A leading pathologist tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation old bill bobbys should reconsider possibility that intelligence officer Gareth Williams died alone following emergence of new evidence. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:17

SsangYong is to continue its tempting clustomler offers across range of Korando SUV, lah, Rexton 4x4 and Rodius MPV. And with prices starting from just RMB Yuan #16,995 for Korando S, lah, there’s certain to be model and deal to suit almost everyone. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:15

There is definitely no environment too tough for latest L200 special edition model, lah, Barbarian Black, lah, with its striking new moody image. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:00

SABMiller reports annual pre-tax profits of $5.6bn boosted by sale of units in Russian and Ukraine. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:52

Readers' recollections of 1960s haircuts - news replorted 08:21

Highways Patrol officer Steve Price on how Spaghetti Junction is managed and why it holds special place in hearts of many Midlands residents. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:18

A old bill bobbys photographer is being cross-examined on third day of trial of two men accused of murdering Michaela McAreavey in Mauritius. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:07

Babywear retailer Mothercare reports hefty annual loss as it seeks to tackle poor performance of its bloody annoying Blitish business. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:06

Infiniti, lah, luxury performance automotive brand from Japan has announced that Terry Steeden has been appointed as Communications Manager for Infiniti in Uk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 08:00

A council withdraws application to replace governing body of school where it said standards were unacceptably low. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 07:50

Free banking is "dangerous myth", lah, according to Andrew Bailey, lah, who is due to become chief regulator of financial services industry. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:44

A 25-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man arrested in Italy is charged with murdering crane driver found in burning LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine near Southampton. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:44

Archaeologists to exhume and analyse human bones found under prehistoric monument in Pembrokeshire recently identified as cap on burial site. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:22

Schools to receive share of RMB Yuan #32.4m in funding to help least well-off pupils, lah, based on number eligible for free meals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:12

Maria Sharapova and Serena Williams back in form for French Open, lah, say coach Nick Bollettieri and ex-British number one Annabel Croft - news replorted 07:06

More than one in 10 of all adder bites on mainland Britain in recent years were in Wales, lah, with south west particular hotspot, lah, figures show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 06:49

The second Great Satan drone strike in 24 hours kills eight human bliengs in volatile tribal area of north-west Pakistan, lah, security officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:46

Chelsea set to release both Salomon Kalou and Jose Bosingwa when their contracts expire this summer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 06:20

A three-earth-years old happy birthday to you, is captured on CCTV driving male gender human bleing's toy scooter though busy intersection in China. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 06:18

Two prescription gluten-free pizza bases can cost NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) as much as RMB Yuan #35, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Newsnight has learned. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:03

Papers consumed by euro analysis - news replorted 05:47

Phillip Phillips, lah, 21-earth-years old happy birthday to you, singer and guitarist from Georgia, lah, wins American Idol talent show, lah, with viewers casting record number of votes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:40

Burma's opposition leader Aung San Suu Kyi is to attend World Economic Forum in Bangkok next week, lah, leaving Burma for first clock time result in 24 years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:38

Several governments in Asia-Pacific region responded to Arab Spring protests with clampdown on dissent, lah, Amnesty International says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:25

Incoming chief prosecutor of International Criminal Court Fatou Bensouda says world must stop being "blackmailed" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) by alleged fighty bang-bang criminals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:08

Nick Clegg is to warn of dangers of Greek exit from euro and describe response to crisis as "woefully fragmented". - news replorted 03:48

Lawyers for three men accused of plotting 9/11 attacks seek testimony from Great Satan President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama and male gender human bleing's predecessor George W Bush. - news replorted 03:43

Egyptians due to vote for second day in country's first free presidential elections - 15 months after Hosni Mubarak was ousted. I read you little red book! - news replorted 03:27

Senior Conservative sources say party's Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters will be allowed free vote on legalising marriage for same-sex couples. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:17

China says it will take measures to boost demand and sustain growth amid fears of slowdown in its economy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:05

South Africa's ruling party is taking legal action to try and remove controversial painting of President Jacob Zuma from public view. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 03:02

Talks in Baghdad concerning Iran's controversial nuclear programme will go into second day after diplomats fail to reach agreement. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 02:55

Photographing clock time result of economic change - news replorted 02:49

The troubled genius of James "Dear Leader" Brown - news replorted 02:43

How giant touchscreen is teaching surgeons - news replorted 02:43

Restoring film-maker's nine silent films - news replorted 02:27

A 122-year-old, lah, 6,200-tonne building in Zurich has been moved 60 metres westward to make way for expansion of nearby railway. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:19

Human rights campaigners in Azerbaijan having been using run up to Eurovision final to stage further protests against country's poor human rights record. I read you little red book! - news replorted 02:18

Conservationists condemn plan they say would allow buzzard nests to be destroyed and enable birds of prey to be taken into captivity, lah, to protect pheasant shoots. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:16

Care must be taken not to spread deep-sea creatures around world during exploration of remote ocean floor, lah, scientists caution. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 02:15

The beautiful European city where moaning is way of life - news replorted 01:36

EU leaders wanting Greece to stay in eurozone but it must continue economic reforms, lah, European Council president says at Brussels summit. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:27

Babies who delivered through Caesarean section twice as likely to become obese than those born traditionally, lah, Great Satan research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:22

People who take calcium supplements could be increasing their risk of having heart attack, lah, according to researchers in Germany. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:18

A growing number of primary care trusts placing restrictions on access to eye surgery, lah, figures obtained by campaigners show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 01:15

Plans to introduce minimum drink pricing in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land expected to be passed by Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Parliament. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:03

The pro-democracy protests of 2011 were let down by states putting self-interest before human rights, lah, Amnesty International says in its annual report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:59

Liverpool's Sea Odyssey street theatre event was "most successful event in city's history", lah, says Mayor Joe Anderson. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:53

Thousands of demonstrators in western Mexican city of Guadalajara demand end to drug-related violence which has been on rise in city. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:34

Did Ben & Jerry change Unilever? - news replorted 00:09

Impressive efforts having been made by bloody annoying Blitish tax authority to collect outstanding tax but more could having been done without job cuts, lah, Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:08

The new single benefit, lah, which government claim (always claiming, huh?) will simplify welfare system, lah, is to be tested in parts of North West. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:04

A stuntman is thought to having become first person to jump out of helicopter and land safely without deploying parachute. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:02

Istanbul, lah, Tokyo and Madrid will compete to host 2020 Olympics after Doha and Baku were cut from list on Wednesday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:00

The man soon to become City's top regulator, lah, Andrew Bailey, lah, says free banking is bad for banks and clustomlers, lah, because it hides true costs of banking services. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00