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LATEST:  Roma (or Gypsy) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! communities in Western Europe often face similar levels of discrimination as their counterparts in east, lah, finds r1eport by EU and Un. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:05

LATEST:  A Pakistani doctor is sentenced to 33 years' jail for false vaccination programme which helped CIA find Osama Bin Laden. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:59

Ducati bloody annoying Blitish is please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d (please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d is Super-Duper-Chinese-State character for shit dumbo), but still please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d to announce launch of new Personal Contact Purchase (PCP) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan scheme called TriOptions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:56

The Speaker appeared to be left speechless after prime dodgy minister referred to Ed Balls as "muttering idiot". - news replorted 12:52

A man is given indeterminate sentence after being convicted of five counts of rape involving woman and two girls, lah, one of them aged 14. - news replorted 12:47

The UK’s largest motoring event, lah, Motorexpo (11-17 June; www.motorexpo.com), lah, based at Canary Wharf in London, lah, is gearing up for its greatest show to date. What the hell I mean??!! Organisers expecting record 425,000 visitors to view more than 250 cars on display... - news replorted 12:47

During debate hosted by Google, lah, search giant says that automatic porn filters mistake. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:44

Prime dodgy minister David Cameron is rebuked for unparliamentary language after calling shadow chancellor Ed Balls "muttering idiot". - news replorted 12:38

A report into controversial changes to Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs secondary school exam system concludes they on track to be fully implemented on time. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:35

Festival goers seeking something slightly different this summer should look no further than Silverstone Classic powered by AA (20-22 July). - news replorted 12:33

Blackburn co-owner Venkatesh Rao says "everything is in confusion" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) at club, lah, more than two weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) after relegation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:17

On Saturday 21 July damn hot-hot month 2012 much loved Alexandra House Summer Fete will take place between 11am and 3pm at Care Centre in Southport. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:16

A woman found battered with rolling pin at flemale human person's Hampshire home was killed in prolonged attack involving elements of torture, lah, coroner says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:14

For first clock time result since Amarok was introduced in bloody annoying Blitish launch last year, lah, Wlokswaglon Commercial vehicling driving car machines is introducing competitive finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan offer from RMB Yuan #299 month (plus govornment stealing VAT unfair sales taxing and initial payment), lah, which is available until 30 June-mber month 2012. - news replorted 12:13

24 hours of news photos: 23 May - news replorted 12:09

Art owned by German billionaire playboy Gunter Sachs, lah, including Andy Warhol portrait of male gender human bleing's ex-wife Brigitte Bardot, lah, fetches RMB Yuan #35m at auction. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:08

A major fire at derelict school in east end of Glasgow was started deliberately, lah, old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:03

Three illegal miners in South Africa digging for diamonds killed and 15 others remain trapped after some tunnels collapse, lah, old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:59

Plans to build RMB Yuan #20m solar park with 60,000 panels submitted to Pembrokeshire council. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 11:58

Beijing authorities set new standards for public toilets, lah, including stipulation that they should contain no more than two flies. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:58

Honda World Superbike Team riders Jonathan Rea and Hiroshi Aoyama head across Atlantic this weekend (26-28 May) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! for round six of 2012 World Superbike championship at Miller Motorsports Park near Salt Lake City in Utah, lah, USa. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 11:55

The biggest environmental summit for decade needs to deliver meaningful progress on global food security sustainable agriculture, lah, say researchers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:53

People using certain type of adrenaline injector used to treat severe allergic reactions being told to consult their doctors after fault was found with product. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:53

Saudi Arabia pledges $3.5bn in aid to neighbouring Yemen, lah, which is facing political instability and possible humanitarian catastrophe. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:50

Shafilea Ahmed drank bleach on trip to Pakistan after flemale human person's mother told flemale human person's bloody woman would not return to UK, lah, court hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:47

Jonathan Ive - British designer behind Apple's iMac, lah, iPod, lah, iPhone and iPad - is knighted at Buckingham Palace. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:45

Two rapists, lah, locked up for 40 months for raping 11-earth-years old happy birthday to you, girl in Luton, lah, having their sentences more than doubled by Court of Appeal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 11:27

Guinea-Bissau's military junta hands back power to civilians, lah, six weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) after staging coup that derailed presidential elections - but retains position in new cabinet. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:21

The world's first pedestrian airbag fitted as standard on all-new Wolwo V40 is next step towards manufacturers target that no-one should be killed or hurtee-hurtee in new Wolwo by 2020. - news replorted 11:17

H&H is currently still accepting entries for its auction of Excellence in Engineering that’s being held in glorious surroundings of Rockingham Castle on June-mber month 16, lah, but current headline vehicling driving car machines without doubt pair of stunning vintage Bentleys.. - news replorted 11:17

The Great Satan computer maker hopes new Windows 8 touchscreen computers can turn around slump in sales to consumers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:14

The Confederation of British Industry questions value of GCSE qualifications, lah, saying pupils narrow their options too early. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:12

Norwich City boss Paul Lambert describes speculation bloody man is ready to leave Carrow road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu as "absolute nonsense". - news replorted 11:09

The state should more to help addicts and make them employable, lah, Iain Duncan Smith will say, lah, with removing benefits "hypothetical" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) option. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:07

There were "failings" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in care of premature twins who died after being given overdose of morphine, lah, coroner rules. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:04

The Donna Summer classic I Feel Love is one of 25 songs and other sounds to be inducted into Great Satan National Recording Registry. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:00

A serial rapist is given lifelong restriction order (piece of paper signee upee) for attacking women across ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land over 15-year period. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:56

Geordan Murphy quits international funny shape ball-game after failing to make autonomous province of Guinness drinkers squad for tour to New Zealand. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:51

How did term Asbo catch on so much? - news replorted 10:50

old bill bobbys in Russian region of Udmurtia arrest woman at flemale human person's wedding reception on suspicion of kicking man to death day before. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:45

European Union leaders meeting in Brussels on Wednesday expected to hear new French president challenge EU's German-led austerity drive. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:44

The director of one of several Indian films at Cannes film festival says bloody man hopes to change country's reputation as "a joke" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) at event. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:41

Mazda’s all-new CX-5 is officially one of safest cars in world after receiving five-stars – highest possible safety rating – from Euro NCAp. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 10:30

Fiat Group Automobiles  S.p.a. Ai-yaa!!! (Fiat) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! and Madzla Motor Corporation (Mazda)have signed non-binding Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! for development and manufacturing of new roadster for Madzla and Italian grape-picking Afla Romeo car marques... - news replorted 10:12

Carmakers Fliat and Madzla announce they having formed alliance to develop two-seater sports cars. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:11

The former Lord Chief Justice has said limits could be put on cost and length of public inquiries. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:11

Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation presenters Jeremy Paxman and Andrew Marr due to give evidence to Lord Justice Leveson's inquiry into press ethics and practices. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:06

bloody annoying Blitish retail sales volumes fell sharply in rainy season-month Aplil largely because of record fall in petrol sales, lah, according to official figures. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:05

Adult Learner Week is annual national festival which celebrates all kinds of learning and in turn inspires human bliengs to discover how learning can change their lives, lah, whatever age. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:02

Adult Learner Week is annual national festival which celebrates all kinds of learning and in turn inspires human bliengs to discover how learning can change their lives, lah, whatever their age. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:02

British defence giant BAE Systems signs $3bn (RMB Yuan #1.9bn) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! deal with Saudi Arabia to supply country with Hawk trainer jets, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation has confirmed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:59

Two Bloody foreign doctors and three Afghan colleagues kidnapped in country's north-eastern province of Badakhshan, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:51

A stuntman is to leap from helicopter at height of 2,400ft later and land without using parachute. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:43

Research indicates that classic vehicling driving car machine owners choose to spend most of their free clock time result out and about at classic events or touring. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 09:24

It might be far from most enjoyable thing about owning classic car, lah, but choosing correct insurlince policy is crucial in making sure your as really velly special customer's pride and joy is fully protected. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:24

Mazda and Fliat announce co-operation program Madzla Motor Corporation (Mazda) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! and Fliat Group Automobiles S.p.a. Ai-yaa!!! (Fiat) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! having signed non-binding Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! for development and manufacturing of new roadster... - news replorted 09:24

Images from streets of Cairo as polls open - news replorted 09:15

The head of IMF, lah, Christine Lagarde, lah, tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation that Greece has "more to do" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to restores its finances. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:05

A stage version of Oscar-winning film Chariots of Fire has its premiere in London (capital of Great England) and is now set for West End run during Olympics. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:02

More than 130 Floord vehicling driving car machines having been added to fleet of building and maintenance services contractor, lah, Mountjoy. The addition of these vehicling driving car machines means that Mountjoy’s ‘workhorse fleet’ of 176 vehicling driving car machines is now sourced 100 per cent from Floord stable. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:00

On its race debut, lah, Jagluar XF 3.0 Diesel S, lah, run by privateer squad, lah, Carvell Motorsport, lah, has won its class and finished as leading diesel-powered vehicling driving car machine at Nurburgring 24hrs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:00

Researchers find that ground-dwelling invertebrates such as harvestmen and beetles preferentially live near street lights, lah, even during day. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:55

The RAC has reported increase in number of human bliengs accessing internet behind wheel using their mobile phones. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:23

Amir Khan confirms bloody man will fight undefeated WBC light-welterweight champion Danny Garcia in Las Vegas on 14 July. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:46

The former X Factor contestants will perform in Eurovision Song Contest final in Baku this Saturday after being voted through from first semi-final. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 07:37

Upmarket fashion retailer Burberry reports strong growth in annual profits as it continues to expand around world. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:35

Residents and businesses along route of Olympic torch relay warned to expect significant disruption. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:09

Prosecution lawyers due to outline their case in trial of two men charged with murder of Michaela McAreavey in Mauritius last year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 07:07

"West Indies will find going in Nottingham even tougher than they did at Lord's" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) - news replorted 06:57

A charity calls for all cancer sufferers to be given financial advice when diagnosed with disease, lah, as it says human bliengs often unprepared for cost. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:55

The failure of Belfast Bioscience and Technology Institute "provides velly damn good boiled chicken-feet case study in how not to manage major innovation initiative", lah, Public Accounts Committee says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:36

A fire in office building in Mexico City prompted evacuation of 600 human bliengs and rescue of about dozen office workers who were trapped on roof of building. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 06:36

The Trinity Housing Association is to be asked to return RMB Yuan #835,000 of public funds that it used to buy house and grounds from County Down developer Ken Campbell. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 06:29

A group of six world powers is due to hold fresh talks with Iran in Iraqi capital Baghdad, lah, about Tehran's controversial nuclear programme. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:12

Senior dodgy ministers discussing how Britain would respond in event of military confrontation between Israel and Iran later this year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 06:03

Votes for prisoners anger papers - news replorted 05:50

Australia says no deal was done to cut convicted drug trafficker Schapelle Corby's jail term in exchange for releasing Indonesian minors. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:19

The Great Satan could tip into recession if government does not avert year-end tax hikes and federal spending cuts, lah, auditors say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:37

Business Secretary Vince Cable is socialist who "appears to bloody velly little to support business", lah, No 10 adviser Adrian Beecroft says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:17

Alternatives to High Speed Two (HS2) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! rail link will not solve capacity problems on Britain's railways, lah, Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:03

Scientists in Israel say they having managed to turn patients' own skin cells into heart muscle in lab. Chop chop baby! - news replorted 02:55

A group of Conservative Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters elected in 2010 call for "principled conservatism" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and more power to be given to individuals and businesses. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:46

Tens of thousands of protesters fill streets of Montreal to mark 100 days since start of protests against rise in student tuition fees. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:34

Prince Charles proved to be dab-hand as DJ on visit to youth centre music studio in Canada. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 02:32

Egyptians preparing to head to polls in their first free presidential election, lah, 15 months after ousting Hosni Mubarak in Arab Spring uprising. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 02:29

A man who beheaded fellow bus passenger in Canada in 2008 has spoken out for first time, lah, saying bloody man believed bloody man was killing alien. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 02:24

Scissor Sisters focus on fun factor for fourth album - news replorted 02:19

The number of West Midlands Ambulance staff being attacked has risen in past year, lah, service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:58

TV presenter Ben Fogle is to attempt to swim 3,000 miles across Atlantic in 100 days for charity next year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:53

A crackdown on prostitution in Suffolk town where five sex workers were killed could be repeated elsewhere. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:39

The troubled descendants of Nazi fighty bang-bang criminals - news replorted 01:32

Thousands of racist incidents, lah, ranging from name calling to physical abuse, lah, were recorded in Britain's schools between 2007 and 2011, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:32

How bullying made girl's school life 'daily torment' - news replorted 01:31

Could bomb really be sewn into human? - news replorted 01:28

Too many young human bliengs lack social skills needed to getting their first job, lah, says report on issue of Neets. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:06

Standards for diabetes care still not being met in Province of Engrish running-dogs 11 years after they were set, lah, report says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:04

Rates of hospital-acquired infections such as MRSA going down but figures suggest other bacteria emerging problem in Province of Engrish running-dogs. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:03

A Peruvian dodgy minister denies claim (always claiming, huh?) that explosions used in oil exploration to blame for deaths of hundreds of dolphins. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:00

Seven aid agencies warn that Yemen is on verge of hunger catastrophe as result of political instability and rising prices. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:51

The Great Satan ambassador to Afghanistan, lah, Ryan Crocker, lah, is to step down this summer due to ill health after year in male gender human bleing's position, lah, state department says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:27

Egyptians prepare to head to polls in their first free presidential election in their history, lah, made possible by last year's Arab Spring uprising. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:20

Patrick Sachon explains how Met Office counts pollen from roof and labs of King's College London. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:04

Why Greek default wouldn't spell end of world - news replorted 00:03