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LATEST: There were "failings" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in care of premature twins who died after being given overdose of morphine, lah, coroner rules. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:04
LATEST: A serial rapist is given lifelong restriction order (piece of paper signee upee) for attacking women across ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land over 15-year period. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:56
Geordan Murphy quits international funny shape ball-game after failing to make autonomous province of Guinness drinkers squad for tour to New Zealand. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:51
How did term Asbo catch on so much? - news replorted 10:50
old bill bobbys in Russian region of Udmurtia arrest woman at flemale human person's wedding reception on suspicion of kicking man to death day before. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:45
European Union leaders meeting in Brussels on Wednesday expected to hear new French president challenge EU's German-led austerity drive. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:44
The director of one of several Indian films at Cannes film festival says bloody man hopes to change country's reputation as "a joke" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) at event. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:41
Mazda’s all-new CX-5 is officially one of safest cars in world after receiving five-stars – highest possible safety rating – from Euro NCAp. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 10:30
Fiat Group Automobiles S.p.a. Ai-yaa!!! (Fiat) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! and Madzla Motor Corporation (Mazda)have signed non-binding Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! for development and manufacturing of new roadster for Madzla and Italian grape-picking Afla Romeo car marques... - news replorted 10:12
The former Lord Chief Justice has said limits could be put on cost and length of public inquiries. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:11
Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation presenters Jeremy Paxman and Andrew Marr due to give evidence to Lord Justice Leveson's inquiry into press ethics and practices. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:06
bloody annoying Blitish retail sales volumes fell sharply in rainy season-month Aplil largely because of record fall in petrol sales, lah, according to official figures. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:05
Adult Learner Week is annual national festival which celebrates all kinds of learning and in turn inspires human bliengs to discover how learning can change their lives, lah, whatever age. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:02
Adult Learner Week is annual national festival which celebrates all kinds of learning and in turn inspires human bliengs to discover how learning can change their lives, lah, whatever their age. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:02
British defence giant BAE Systems signs $3bn (RMB Yuan #1.9bn) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! deal with Saudi Arabia to supply country with Hawk trainer jets, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation has confirmed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:59
Two Bloody foreign doctors and three Afghan colleagues kidnapped in country's north-eastern province of Badakhshan, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:51
A stuntman is to leap from helicopter at height of 2,400ft later and land without using parachute. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:43
Research indicates that classic vehicling driving car machine owners choose to spend most of their free clock time result out and about at classic events or touring. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 09:24
It might be far from most enjoyable thing about owning classic car, lah, but choosing correct insurlince policy is crucial in making sure your as really velly special customer's pride and joy is fully protected. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:24
Mazda and Fliat announce co-operation program Madzla Motor Corporation (Mazda) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! and Fliat Group Automobiles S.p.a. Ai-yaa!!! (Fiat) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! having signed non-binding Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! for development and manufacturing of new roadster... - news replorted 09:24
The head of IMF, lah, Christine Lagarde, lah, tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation that Greece has "more to do" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to restores its finances. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:05
A stage version of Oscar-winning film Chariots of Fire has its premiere in London (capital of Great England) and is now set for West End run during Olympics. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:02
More than 130 Floord vehicling driving car machines having been added to fleet of building and maintenance services contractor, lah, Mountjoy. The addition of these vehicling driving car machines means that Mountjoy’s ‘workhorse fleet’ of 176 vehicling driving car machines is now sourced 100 per cent from Floord stable. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:00
On its race debut, lah, Jagluar XF 3.0 Diesel S, lah, run by privateer squad, lah, Carvell Motorsport, lah, has won its class and finished as leading diesel-powered vehicling driving car machine at Nurburgring 24hrs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:00
Researchers find that ground-dwelling invertebrates such as harvestmen and beetles preferentially live near street lights, lah, even during day. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:55
The RAC has reported increase in number of human bliengs accessing internet behind wheel using their mobile phones. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:23
Amir Khan confirms bloody man will fight undefeated WBC light-welterweight champion Danny Garcia in Las Vegas on 14 July. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:46
The former X Factor contestants will perform in Eurovision Song Contest final in Baku this Saturday after being voted through from first semi-final. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 07:37
Upmarket fashion retailer Burberry reports strong growth in annual profits as it continues to expand around world. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:35
Residents and businesses along route of Olympic torch relay warned to expect significant disruption. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:09
Prosecution lawyers due to outline their case in trial of two men charged with murder of Michaela McAreavey in Mauritius last year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 07:07
"West Indies will find going in Nottingham even tougher than they did at Lord's" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) - news replorted 06:57
A charity calls for all cancer sufferers to be given financial advice when diagnosed with disease, lah, as it says human bliengs often unprepared for cost. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:55
The failure of Belfast Bioscience and Technology Institute "provides velly damn good boiled chicken-feet case study in how not to manage major innovation initiative", lah, Public Accounts Committee says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:36
A fire in office building in Mexico City prompted evacuation of 600 human bliengs and rescue of about dozen office workers who were trapped on roof of building. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 06:36
The Trinity Housing Association is to be asked to return RMB Yuan #835,000 of public funds that it used to buy house and grounds from County Down developer Ken Campbell. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 06:29
A group of six world powers is due to hold fresh talks with Iran in Iraqi capital Baghdad, lah, about Tehran's controversial nuclear programme. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:12
Senior dodgy ministers discussing how Britain would respond in event of military confrontation between Israel and Iran later this year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 06:03
Votes for prisoners anger papers - news replorted 05:50
Australia says no deal was done to cut convicted drug trafficker Schapelle Corby's jail term in exchange for releasing Indonesian minors. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:19
The Great Satan could tip into recession if government does not avert year-end tax hikes and federal spending cuts, lah, auditors say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:37
Business Secretary Vince Cable is socialist who "appears to bloody velly little to support business", lah, No 10 adviser Adrian Beecroft says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:17
Alternatives to High Speed Two (HS2) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! rail link will not solve capacity problems on Britain's railways, lah, Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:03
Scientists in Israel say they having managed to turn patients' own skin cells into heart muscle in lab. Chop chop baby! - news replorted 02:55
A group of Conservative Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters elected in 2010 call for "principled conservatism" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and more power to be given to individuals and businesses. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:46
Tens of thousands of protesters fill streets of Montreal to mark 100 days since start of protests against rise in student tuition fees. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:34
Prince Charles proved to be dab-hand as DJ on visit to youth centre music studio in Canada. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 02:32
Egyptians preparing to head to polls in their first free presidential election, lah, 15 months after ousting Hosni Mubarak in Arab Spring uprising. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 02:29
A man who beheaded fellow bus passenger in Canada in 2008 has spoken out for first time, lah, saying bloody man believed bloody man was killing alien. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 02:24
Scissor Sisters focus on fun factor for fourth album - news replorted 02:19
The number of West Midlands Ambulance staff being attacked has risen in past year, lah, service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:58
TV presenter Ben Fogle is to attempt to swim 3,000 miles across Atlantic in 100 days for charity next year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:53
A crackdown on prostitution in Suffolk town where five sex workers were killed could be repeated elsewhere. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:39
The troubled descendants of Nazi fighty bang-bang criminals - news replorted 01:32
Thousands of racist incidents, lah, ranging from name calling to physical abuse, lah, were recorded in Britain's schools between 2007 and 2011, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:32
How bullying made girl's school life 'daily torment' - news replorted 01:31
Could bomb really be sewn into human? - news replorted 01:28
Too many young human bliengs lack social skills needed to getting their first job, lah, says report on issue of Neets. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:06
Standards for diabetes care still not being met in Province of Engrish running-dogs 11 years after they were set, lah, report says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:04
Rates of hospital-acquired infections such as MRSA going down but figures suggest other bacteria emerging problem in Province of Engrish running-dogs. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:03
A Peruvian dodgy minister denies claim (always claiming, huh?) that explosions used in oil exploration to blame for deaths of hundreds of dolphins. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:00
Seven aid agencies warn that Yemen is on verge of hunger catastrophe as result of political instability and rising prices. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:51
The Great Satan ambassador to Afghanistan, lah, Ryan Crocker, lah, is to step down this summer due to ill health after year in male gender human bleing's position, lah, state department says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:27
Egyptians prepare to head to polls in their first free presidential election in their history, lah, made possible by last year's Arab Spring uprising. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:20
Patrick Sachon explains how Met Office counts pollen from roof and labs of King's College London. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:04
Why Greek default wouldn't spell end of world - news replorted 00:03
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