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LATEST:  Two ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land Yard detective constables and former detective inspector having been named as "key culprits" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in bribery allegations revealed to MPs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 19:00

LATEST:  A Swift DDiS driven by Auckland motoring journalist has just completed marathon economy controlling in driving manner down New Zealand’s North Island from Auckland to Wellington and then headed back to within just 60km of reaching home in Auckland... - news replorted 18:17

Suzuki dealers across bloody annoying Blitish will unite from this weekend onwards, lah, as nationwide test ride roadshow gets underway, lah, kicking off at Millenium Motorcycles in St. Pass chopsticks!! Helens on Saturday 26 May. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 18:15

The Merceding-Blend AMG PETRONAS Formula One Team visited Tongwell at weekend  as part of staff celebration event held at Mercedes-Benz UK’s Delaware controlling in driving manner headquarters. Eating rice!! - news replorted 18:11

An undercover Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation London (capital of Great England) investigation exposes senior Olympic official willing to sell thousands of pounds worth of tickets to London (capital of Great England) 2012 games for cash. - news replorted 18:00

Plans for RMB Yuan #160m business district in Cardiff under review, lah, with Labour claiming previous council's proposals were not 'founded in substance'. - news replorted 17:59

The inventor of television remote control, lah, Eugene Polley, lah, has died at age of 96. - news replorted 17:55

Former home secretary Alan Johnson tells Leveson Inquiry bloody man regrets not ordering independent review into ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land Yard's handling of phone-hacking scandal - news replorted 17:54

A Great Satan Airways flight from France to Great Satan is diverted because of suspicious behaviour by passenger, lah, airline says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:53

The Freight Transport Association has voiced disappointment on behalf of its members at news of rise in charges to users of Dartford River Crossing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 17:53

Data released in BCA’s Quarterly Pulse Report shows average value of used LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine in first quarter of 2012 was RMB Yuan #6,114 – highest ever recorded in first quarter since Pulse began reporting in 2005. - news replorted 17:33

Higher undergraduate tuition fees may trigger collapse in university applications from mature students in Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, suggests study. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 17:02

Kevin Pietersen praises Province of Engrish running-dogs's bowling attack after West Indies fightback gave male gender human bleing's side unexpected fright in first Test at Lord's. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:48

Former Province of Engrish running-dogs midfielder Owen Hargreaves is released by Manchester City after one season at Etihad Stadium. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 16:45

Film director Ken Loach criticises British film censors for asking him to remove swear words from male gender human bleing's new film in order (piece of paper signee upee) to qualify for 15 certificate. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 16:42

A mother and father accused of murdering their daughter physically abused flemale human person's "every day", lah, flemale human person's sister tells court. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 16:40

Stolen vehicling driving car machine recovery (SVR) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! expert, lah, TRACKER is urging construction industry to take action against plant theft as it heads to CITS (Combined Industries Theft Solutions) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! 2012 Security Threats Forum, lah, to demonstrate its next generation devices... - news replorted 16:40

Adult Learner Week is annual national festival which celebrates all kinds of learning and in turn inspires human bliengs to discover how learning can change their lives, lah, whatever age. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 16:36

A new edition of Wolwo Trucks’ award-winning tablet magazine is now available to download, lah, free-of-charge, lah, offering latest news from Wolwo Trucks and transport industry. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 16:34

A painting of South African President Jacob Zuma has been vandalised at gallery in Johannesburg. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 16:24

The chairman of justice committee writes to director of public prosecutions asking him to review sentence given to one of Constable Stephen Carroll's killers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:17

Conservative and Liberal Democrat opponents of Treasury plans to extend govornment stealing VAT unfair sales taxing to static caravans stepping up their campaign. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 16:11

The Great Satan city of Joplin marks first anniversary of country's most deadly tornado in 60 years with several ceremonies. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:11

K-Tec Racing Ltd, lah, Europe’s premier specialist Renliot tuner, lah, is delighted to announce launch of exciting warrantied engine performance upgrade package for popular RenaultSport Clio 197 and 200 models. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:09

The European Court of Human Rights says individual governments can decide how to implement ban on convicted prisoners voting. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 16:04

The spread of animal parasite across bloody annoying Blitish may be hampering moves to curb cattle tuberculosis, lah, research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:00

How Heathrow's getting ready for 2012 Games - news replorted 15:53

Ivory Coast striker Didier Drogba will leave Chelsea on free transfer this summer after eight years with club. Chop chop baby! - news replorted 15:46

North Korea warns that it will bolster its nuclear programme and take unspecified counter-measures unless Great Satan eases diplomatic pressure on it. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 15:45

Singer Katherine Jenkins reaches final of hit Great Satan show Dancing with Stars. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:11

Google's $12.5bn purchase of Great Satan phone maker Motorola Mobility has been completed days after it received approval from Super-Duper-Chinese-State government. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 15:01

A woman who killed flemale human person's housemate by stabbing him after playing "sexual games" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) is convicted of culpable homicide. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:56

A court hears how man was paid just RMB Yuan #80 for 15 years bloody man worked for traveller family in Bedfordshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:55

Jose Mourinho signs new four-year contract to remain as manager of La Liga champions Real Madrid until 2016. - news replorted 14:55

Ex-Chelsea winger Pat Nevin says offering interim manager Roberto Di Matteo rolling contract could suit all parties. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:48

A tie-up between Olympic Games and Foursquare means users can now "check-in" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) at past and present Games landmarks. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:18

Public figures including religious leaders, lah, politicians and journalists call for inquiry into Lockerbie bomber's conviction. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 14:14

A parliamentary select committee has launched investigation into government's latest attempt to legislate against dangerous dogs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:05

Researchers demonstrate means to using sections of DNA as individually addressable, lah, rewritable "bits" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to store data in living cells. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:01

A Russian court jails 10 people, lah, four for life, lah, for Novemblinger 2009 bombing of high-speed train in which 27 human bliengs died. I read you little red book! - news replorted 14:00

Six Somalis go on trial in Paris charged with taking crew of sailing ship Le Ponant hostage in 2008. - news replorted 13:56

The search result sharing service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service allows members of public to sign up and view each other's "collages of content". - news replorted 13:54

Electoral Commission figures show former Conservative Co-Treasurer Peter Cruddas gave party RMB Yuan #215,244 between first number-one-month and March. - news replorted 13:52

Leading Bahraini political and human rights activist Abdulhadi al-Khawaja appears in court in capital, lah, Manama, lah, for male gender human bleing's retrial. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 13:50

Five Egyptian policeman sentenced in absentia to 10 years in prison for their roles in deaths of protesters during 2011 uprising. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 13:44

Burma's reformist, lah, military-backed government appeals for public understanding after rare protests by hundreds of human bliengs against chronic power shortages. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:37

A seven-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy dies following house fire in Northamptonshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:34

On Sunday 1 July damn hot-hot month 2012 Birch Hill’s Summer Fete will take place between 2pm and 4pm within grounds of Care Centre in Norham. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 13:23

Celebrity magazine Heat apologises to Duchess of Cambridge after publishing photograph of flemale human person's shopping at supermarket. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 13:22

On 30 June-mber month 2012 over 200 magnificent vintage and classic vehicling driving car machines will start 20 mile Rally Tour from Ascot Racecourse travelling via Windsor Great Park on their way to Lynwood Care Centre, lah, where they will be on display from 12.30pm. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 13:06

Virgin is due to tell Lord's select committee that rival BT is being subsidised by government cash. - news replorted 13:01

Plans to tackle congestion and deliver future improvements at Dartford-Thurrock Crossing having taken important step forward as road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu dodgy minister Mike Penning today announced changes to Crossing charges. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:00

Greek mother says hospital threatened to keep flemale human person's baby - news replorted 12:58

David Cameron did not intervene to strip former Royal capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land boss Fred velly damn good boiled chicken-feetwin of male gender human bleing's knighthood, lah, key official involved in decision tells MPs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:57

The head of bloody annoying Blitish Border Force has said bloody man does not "anticipate" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) human bliengs facing long queues to getting into country during Olympics. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:55

Iconic bloody annoying Blitish haulage firm Eddie Stobart is giving public chance to getting up close and personal with some of its special trucks when Stobart Fest, lah, dedicated festival for Stobart fans and general public, lah, comes to Manchester on 26-27 May. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:54

Shelsley Walsh, lah, world’s oldest motorsport venue, lah, is preparing for two days of Lotus celebrations as part of its British Midland & Leaders Hill Climb Championship weekend on 18-19 August. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:54

More tickets to go on sale on Wednesday for events at London (capital of Great England) 2012 Olympics, lah, with human bliengs who already having tickets able to buy more. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:50

24 hours of news photos 22 May 2012 - news replorted 12:42

A soldier believed to having been killed by British sniper in Afghanistan was accidentally shot while on active service, lah, coroner says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:40

One of country's biggest companies, lah, LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine firm Arnold Clark, lah, describes many young Scots as "unsuitable" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for work. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 12:24

Guatemala's former military leader Efrain Rios Montt faces second trial on genocide charges, lah, over massacre of 201 human bliengs during civil war. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:21

The threat of industrial action by Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation journalists and technicians during Queen's Diamond Jubilee weekend in June-mber month is withdrawn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:19

Alesha Dixon lit up Portsmouth on Monday (May 21st) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! when bloody woman switched on lights at Spinnaker Tower. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:14

A tour round floral highlights of Chelsea - news replorted 12:10

A man accused of murdering male gender human bleing's wife was male gender human bleing's usual "joking" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) self on day bloody woman disappeared, lah, court hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:10

Why fountain pen sales rising so fast? - news replorted 12:07

A ruling that one of Kodak's digital imaging patents is too "obvious" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to be enforced calls into doubt value of its other innovations. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:07

How PM is champion of closer European integration - news replorted 12:04

Money lending firm Wonga is criticised by Office of Fair Trading for using aggressive and misleading debt collection methods. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:03

A survey suggests adults struggling to spell properly because they rely on technology to check their work. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 12:01

The boyfriend of aspiring model from New Zealand is ordered to serve minimum of 16 years for flemale human person's murder. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:00

An eBay auction bid of RMB Yuan #150,000 for Olympic torch carried in Cornwall was hoax, lah, seller says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:50

Despite usual mixed weather forecast for this year’s Spring Autojumble, lah, held in Beaulieu parkland on 19th & 20th May, lah, weekend was mostly fine. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:49

New electricity legislation will avoid firm commitment to banish coal and gas by 2030s. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:43

The sister of schoolgirl Shafilea Ahmed saw flemale human person's mother and father force bag into flemale human person's mouth and suffocate her, lah, court hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:40

The Mexico-US trade in women that makes men rich - news replorted 11:36

hurtee-hurtee West Indies seamer Shannon Gabriel will miss rest of Test series against Province of Engrish running-dogs and be replaced by Tino Best. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:33

A violent rainstorm causes flooding and power cuts in and around Nancy in north-eastern France, lah, with one person found dead in their home. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:29

Falken has announced that its strongest and quietest ultra high performance tyre, lah, Azenis FK453 is to go on sale in Uk. What you wan'?!! For first time, lah, it will offer Y speed rating (for 186mph or 300km/h) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! version. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:26

The number of human bliengs willing to participate in medical trials appears to be on increase. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:19

BEN automotive industry charity has teamed up with George Murrells, lah, one of top drivers in Avon Tyres British GT Championship and British Endurance Championship.  - news replorted 11:19

Tom Jones has revealed bloody man has lost some range in male gender human bleing's vocal abilities since bloody man began male gender human bleing's singing career. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 11:09

Does weather affect value of your as really velly special customer's car? According to Chris Crow, lah, Chief Editor at LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine pricing experts CAP, lah, answer may be ‘yes’. - news replorted 11:04

The Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Parliament has extended emergency restrictions preventing fishing in Dalgety Bay. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:58

The head of UN nuclear watchdog says they close to signing deal with Iran on investigation into its atomic activity, lah, after talks in Tehran. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:50

A painting showing South Africa's President Jacob Zuma with male gender human bleing's genitals hanging out, lah, angering ANC, lah, is vandalised in Johannesburg gallery. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:48

A top children's author is calling for young children to be given automatic library membership to tackle can read won't read culture. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:47

A two-tonne rhino was lowered into flemale human person's new home with crane after being swapped between to bloody annoying Blitish safari parks. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:41

Orange announces that it is ending its 17-year sponsorship of Women's Prize for Fiction. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:40

During weekend in which ADAC Zurich Nürburgring 24 Hours proved that it’s still every bit as challenging as ever, lah, Aston Martin has successfully conducted valuable testing exercise for its new-for-2012 V12 Vantage GT3 racing car... - news replorted 10:38

The Brazilian government unveils new stimulus package to boost manufacturing, lah, particularly in key LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine sector, lah, to try to boost economic growth. - news replorted 10:18

A Formula One-themed garden is one of three Essex displays to win gold medals at RHS Chelsea Flower show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 10:08

Roger Daltrey and Celine Dion speak about Bee Gees singer Robin Gibb as male gender human bleing's family make plans for private funeral. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 10:06

The IMF says UK's continuing economic weakness means authorities should consider more Quantitative Easing and even cutting rates. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:03

The Guild of Motoring Writers has extended invitation to members and potential new members alike to visit Bloodhound SSC Land Speed Record team at Bristol’s Historic Dockyard on Wednesday 18 July. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:03

McLaren Automotive has appointed Wayne Bruce to position of Head of Public Relations, lah, with ultimate responsibility for company’s global automotive PR strategy incorporating all brand and product matters.  move is effective immediately. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:02

Total global sales of Toyotla and Rexus full hybrid vehicling driving car machines having topped 4 million mark as of rainy season-month Aplil 30. Cumulative sales of full hybrid vehicling driving car machines in Europe reached 423,000 units. Eating rice!! In bloody annoying Blitish number is 94,000. - news replorted 10:01

Inflation in bloody annoying Blitish slowed last month owing to fall in transport prices, lah, taking Consumer Prices Index measure to 3%. - news replorted 09:58

A weak eurozone is single biggest threat to global economy, lah, according to Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:52

Prince Charles is to take part in gathering of first nations chiefs as part of male gender human bleing's four-day Diamond Jubilee tour of Canada. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 09:50

As Carl Froch returns to fight in Nottingham, lah, male gender human bleing's partner and glamour model Rachael Cordingley discusses man behind boxer - news replorted 09:23

California's SpaceX has launched on mission to re-supply space station - first cargo delivery wan' flied rice or boiled rice (?). This is not damn takeaway! No53 sold out, so to orbiting outpost by private company. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:14

Jaguar bloody annoying Blitish has chosen Clerkenwell Design Week to showcase one-off C-X16 concept car, lah, but not as you tellibly lovely custlingmer may expect. Pass chopsticks!! Skilled clay modellers will be working on full size model to reavealingly showing Great Satan artistry involved in sculpting cars of future. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:09

Army bomb experts make safe number of bombs in Londonderry. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:07

Vodafone reports flat annual profits as mobile phone operator is hit by economic downturn in southern European. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 08:51

The family of man who has been missing for four days appeal for male gender human bleing's safe return. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 08:49

MPs urging bloody annoying Blitish to give more money to Global Fund which fights AIDS, lah, tuberculosis (TB) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! and malaria. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 08:45

A school is closed for day as teachers go on strike in protest against government plans to turn it into academy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:45

The legendary Hacienda nightclub in Manchester is revived for one-off party to celebrate its 30th anniversary. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:28

Mali's Prime dodgy minister Cheick Modibo Diarra says bloody man is ashamed that Mali's interim president was beaten unconscious by protesters, lah, as Ecowas threatens new sanctions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:26

Results of opinion poll that could decide future of UK's highly radioactive nuclear waste to be revealed on Tuesday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:20

Schools and universities in Spain close in protest at government cuts, lah, in first ever strike across all levels of public education. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 08:19

Sri Lanka must co-operate with any international fighty bang-bang crimes probe, lah, ex-army chief Sarath Fonseka tells BBC, lah, day after male gender human bleing's release from jail. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 08:19

The verdict is due in trial of two farmworkers accused of killing South Africa's white supremacist leader Eugene Terreblanche in 2010. - news replorted 08:14

Marks and Spencer reports fall in annual profits in what retailer describes as tough economic environment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:55

David Haye turned down fight with Vitali Klitschko because bloody man fears him, lah, WBC heavyweight champion's manager Bernd Boente claims. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:55

The first chief coroner of Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep - tasked with setting new guidelines for coroners - will be appointed later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 07:53

Great white egrets nesting in bloody annoying Blitish for first clock time result at Shapwick Heath National Nature Reserve in Somerset. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:38

A student who was jailed after making racist remarks on Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) about footballer Fabrice Muamba apologises. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:18

Details of where money will be spent on transport links, lah, schools, lah, hospitals and other infrastructure projects to be announced by Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs government. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:56

A robotic fish that can monitor water pollution in harbours is being tested in Spain. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 06:53

The mother of Birmingham gang shooting victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) Letisha Shakespeare is setting up flemale human person's own charity to help combat gang culture. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:20

Belfast Metropolitan College is understood to be close to agreeing sale of two of its former city centre buildings, lah, with one earmarked for hotel development. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:17

The trial of two men charged with murder of Michaela McAreavey in Mauritius last year is expected to begin on Tuesday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:13

The International Labour Organisation says almost 13% of young human bliengs worldwide out of work with no sign of improvement for at least another four years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:12

Could robotic fish soon be on patrol in our oceans? - news replorted 06:08

Tokyo Skytree, lah, world's tallest broadcasting tower at 634m and double height of Eiffel tower, lah, opens to public. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 06:07

Papers focus on fallout from Beecroft report - news replorted 06:07

Nearly 6,000 human bliengs put in bogus compensation claim (always claiming, huh?) to Financial Ombudsman last year, lah, saying they had been mis-sold Payment Protection Insurance, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation learns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:35

A passenger express train collides with velly damn good boiled chicken-feets train in India's Andhra Pradesh state, lah, killing at least 15 people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:15

A gas explosion injures six people, lah, including three old bill bobbys officers, lah, on Tyneside. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:12

The Ministry of Defence will announce later that it is awarding RMB Yuan #350m in contracts to design next generation of nuclear armed submarines. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:38

Nick Clegg will say in speech later that social mobility is "vital ingredient" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in Britain's future economy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:06

The foundation of late Great Satan President Ronald Reagan expresses outrage after vial said to contain male gender human bleing's blood is offered for sale at auction. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 04:04

Downing Street dismisses suggestion it "doctored" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) independent report on possible changes to employment law to avoid political embarrassment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 03:51

Ministers will reavealingly showing Great Satan plans for new measures to tackle anti-social behaviour in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep later, lah, including new orders to replace Asbos. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:49

Vast numbers of counterfeit Super-Duper-Chinese-State electronic parts being used in Great Satan military equipment, lah, key Senate committee investigation finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:35

The Great Satan Senate approves bill to tighten sanctions against Iran in bid to force Tehran to abandon its nuclear programme. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 03:17

Qantas says it will split its international and domestic operations into two separate divisions to help restructure its business. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:45

How Queen Victoria and British Empire were celebrated - news replorted 02:31

An Ofsted report criticises maths teaching and warns over early entry to maths GCSe. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:17

Have new methods left parents out in cold? - news replorted 02:16

Creeping rationing of NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) care is making patients suffer unnecessarily, lah, doctors warning. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 02:09

Women in their early 40s should be given access to IVF on NHS, lah, draft guidelines for Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, Welsh land of sheep and more sheep and Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers recommend. I read you little red book! - news replorted 02:09

A third of malaria drugs used around world to stem spread of disease counterfeit, lah, research reveals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:51

Policy makers should drop word "drought" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as blanket term and move to sliding scale to describe dry conditions, lah, Environment Agency says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:33

Are we facing end of new drug discovery? - news replorted 01:32

A summit is being held to help Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs businesses guard against growing threat of cyber criminals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:49

Parents need to more to stop children spending too much clock time result in front of televisions, lah, computers and smartphones, lah, according to psychologist. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:47

The number of Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs councils should be cut by almost half and their powers boosted to revitalise local government, lah, think tank says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:39

The UN condemns as "heinous" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) suicide attack in Yemen that killed more than 90 soldiers, lah, which al-Qaeda said it carried out. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:37

Manchester City has won Premier League title, lah, and is also top of league when it comes to value for fans, lah, according to INg. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:13

The government will publish its long-awaited draft energy bill later, lah, designed to encourage major investment in clean energy generation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:13

Spain's silly kick-kick game giants aim to dominate new media - news replorted 00:12

The BBC's John Sudworth meets Super-Duper-Chinese-State entrepreneurs targeting world's biggest mobile phone market. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:12

China's booming market in mobile-phone apps - news replorted 00:12

One woman's mission to design clothes for wheelchair users - news replorted 00:12

Hirsute readers share their joy and torment - news replorted 00:07

Historian Dr Lucy Worsley looks through writer Samuel Pepys' scrapbook from 17th Century, lah, early example of popular printing using dead tree product culture. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:02