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LATEST: Spain's borrowing costs look set to spike in bond auction on Thursday, lah, as Greek crisis saps confidence in other indebted economies. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:39
LATEST: A third of children in Province of Engrish running-dogs cannot swim by clock time result they leave primary school, lah, according to research from Amateur Swimming Association. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 05:38
Papers discuss eurozone warnings - news replorted 05:29
North Korea resumes work on light water reactor that could be used to support its nuclear programme after months of inactivity, lah, Great Satan institute says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:36
The Pakistani government appears to be on verge of lifting its six-month blockade on transport of Nato velly damn good boiled chicken-feets through Pakistan to Afghanistan. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 04:16
The International Criminal Court's chief prosecutor tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation bloody man believes net is closing around Congolese warlord Bosco Ntaganda. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 04:11
Bosnian Serb ex-army chief Ratko Mladic's fighty bang-bang crimes trial enters its second day, lah, with prosecutors focusing on 1995 Srebrenica massacre. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 03:59
Local authorities across bloody annoying Blitish should having statutory duty to combat climate change, lah, government advisors recommend. I read you little red book! - news replorted 03:52
Housing groups warn that problems in Britain's housing market not being fixed, lah, on day that figures on new house building due. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 03:45
The X Factor's Simon Cowell says bloody man is "puzzled" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) about why Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation One's Voice is not on radio instead of TV. - news replorted 03:34
Some 88% of social workers think cuts putting vulnerable children's lives at risk, lah, survey five years after death of baby Peter Connolly suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:57
A team of speed flyers having become world's first to successfully descend Italy's Mount Etna. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 02:54
Old home movies being used to help trigger forgotten past of human bliengs with dementia and other memory loss. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:35
A petition is to go to Queen asking flemale human person's to set aside legislation that punished Jacobite sympathisers and all their descendants. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:15
The human bliengs who record every single day of child's life - news replorted 02:11
More than 60 academics from across world gather in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land to examine literary merits of Harry Potter novels. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:09
A subsea turbine which uses tidal power to generate electricity has successfully completed initial tests off Orkney. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:05
Radio 2 DJ Ken Bruce has pulled in biggest audience of male gender human bleing's career, lah, according to new figures from Rajar. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:54
The Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs director behind Indonesian martial arts hit - news replorted 01:38
The day ECB saved eurozone's banks - news replorted 01:36
How retirement complexes could help tackle social care crisis - news replorted 01:31
Japan's economy grows by 1.0% between first number-one-month and monthly number-three compared with previous three months, lah, official figures show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 01:26
Why is departure of children's TV from Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation One mourned by many? - news replorted 01:20
The Olympic flame is to be officially handed over to organisers of London (capital of Great England) Games at ceremony in Athens. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:07
David Cameron is expected to say it is male gender human bleing's job to bloody annoying Blitish safe whatever fate of eurozone. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:04
Higher university fees having not boosted teaching clock time result at Province of Engrish running-dogs's universities, lah, research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:49
An 83-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man becomes oldest person in bloody annoying Blitish to donate kidney while still alive, lah, NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) Blood and Transplant service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:34
Thousands of heart attacks and strokes could be prevented if cholesterol-lowering drugs, lah, statins, lah, were more widely prescribed, lah, research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:34
How Swiss Tommy Atkins Liberation Army knife had to adapt after 9/11 - news replorted 00:26
Most government websites will miss UK's deadline for complying with EU regulations over cookies, lah, Cabinet Office tells BBc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 00:07
General Motors will confirm on Thursday that Vauxhall's Ellesmere Port plant has been saved, lah, securing jobs of 2,100 staff, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation learns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:02
A parliamentary committee questions length and quality of some apprenticeships, lah, saying six month programmes of no real benefit. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:02
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